Fire is Our Friend

The sappy wood in the campfire crackled loudly in the still night. Brad, Todd, Tiffany and Kelly were all sitting in folding chairs and had just started on their first case of beer. Todd gave Tiffany and Kelly another beer. "Drink up girls," he said with a smile that only charmed women whose idea of fun was spending an evening comparing lipstick colors. "There's plenty more!"

The ladies looked at each other and giggled, and Brad gave Todd a knowing glance. The tent was all set up and they were going to get a little action tonight. Brad wanted Kelly, the stick-thin blonde who wore as little clothes as she could, and Todd wanted Tiffany, the voluptuous brunette who always added double-entendres to her suggestive conversations. The fire began to die down. "Build the fire back up," Kelly said as she rubbed her hands together. "Yeah, Todd, whip out your big log and put it on the fire," Tiffany said as she leaned forward just enough so he could see her cleavage to pick up a stick. "Sure girls," Todd said. It was a little hard for him to stand up but finally he did and put some more wood on the fire.

As soon as he threw a log on, an explosion of fire, smoke and red-hot ash erupted from the pit. The four campers screamed and ducked behind their chairs. They looked in amazement as a figure started to form in the fire. It looked like a fiery, drunk little leprechaun wearing a little beanie hat on his head. The figure turned to them and spoke. "I am Bernie, the Fire Sprite. I have come across time and space to find you, the Chosen Ones, so you can save my people."

Brad nudged Todd to say something, and rather than look like a wuss in front of two hot babes, he asked, "Why us?"

Bernie the Fire Sprite looked down at him. "Using your great courage and convictions, you must re-unite my people and then you will be chosen as our wise and just rulers. Step into the fire and you will all be transported to my kingdom!"

Todd was hesitant but Brad pushed him toward the fire. He looked sheepishly at the girls and gathered all of his courage. And thus, their journey began.

Well, it would have begun if it wasn't for the fact that when Todd stepped into the fire pit, he was immediately engulfed in flames and ran back at Brad, screaming for help. Tiffany and Kelly hugged each other for comfort and stood, frozen in fear, as they watched Todd fall onto Brad, catching him on fire also. Bernie the Fire Sprite looked puzzled as he watched the two young men writhe in agony. He turned towards the girls.

"That's odd. Isn't this campsite 221?" he asked.

Kelly looked up, tears streaming down her doll-like face. "N-n-no, th-this is 212."

Bernie shrugged his molten shoulders. "Oh, silly me. Well, got to go," he said, and faded away into the night.