hurt manifesto

i am troubled. there are dark, secret, shameful things in my past that made me the way i am today. i am so emotionally wounded it's a miracle i don't self-destruct every single day. i don't know how i've managed to go this long without killing myself, or maybe someone else. i have to keep my distance from people. i want to reach out, and i'll act like i'm about to, but i can't. i'll let you get close enough to make you think i care, then shut you out. i won't tell you what my boundaries are, but when you cross them i'll lump you in with all the others who've hurt me. all my friendships are doomed from the start, and there's nothing i can do about it.