Cyrano | (enters a bar) |
Cyrano | (walks past Chekov, Uhura, Kirk, and Spock) Oh, 'scuse me, 'scuse me. |
Kirk (and company) | (discuss Quadrotritakayly) |
Bartender | I don't want any; I told you before and I'm telling you again. I don't want any more Spike and Flame gems. Thanks to you, I already have enough Spike and Flame gems to last me a lifetime. |
Cyrano | How sad for you, my friend. You won't find a finer stone anywhere. But I have something better...Surely you want some...Anterian glow water. (heh, heh, heh) |
Bartender | I use that to polish the Flame gems. |
Cyrano | You're a difficult man to reach. But...I have something from the far reaches of the galaxy. Surely you want... (pulls a tribble out of his pocket) |
Bartender | Not at your price... |
Uhura | Oh what is it? Is it alive? May I hold it? Oh it's adorable. What is it? |
Cyrano | What is it? Why lovely lady, it's a tribble. |
Uhura | A tribble? |
Cyrano | Only the sweetest creature known to man, exceptin', of course, your lovely self. |
Uhura | (laughing) Why it's purring. (to chekov) Listen, it's purring. |
Cyrano | It's only saying that it likes you. |
Uhura | Are you selling them? |
Bartender | That's what we're trying to decide, right now. |
Cyrano | My friend, ten credits a piece is a very reasonable price. Now you can see for yourself how much the lovely little lady appreciates the finer things. |
Bartender | One credit a piece. |
Chekov | He won't...bite will he? |
Cyrano | Sir, transporting harmful animals from one planet to another is against regulations or weren't you aware of that? (laughs) Besides, tribbles have no teeth. |
Bartender | Alright, I'll double my offer. Two credits. |
Cyrano | Twice nothing is still nothing. |
Uhura | Well if you're not gonna take him, I'm gonna take him. I think he's cute. |
Bartender | Four credits. |
Cyrano | Is that an offer or a joke? |
Bartender | That's my offer. |
Cyrano | That's a joke. (reaches to take his tribble) |
Bartender | Five? |
Cyrano | I can see you're an honest man, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to lessen my price to eight and a half credits. (laughing) |
Bartender | You're talking yourself out of a deal, friend. Six credits; not a credit more. |
Cyrano | Seven and a half...Seven? Alright you robber, six credits. |
Bartender | Done. When can I have them? |
Cyrano | Right away. |
Uhura | Alright, what are you selling them for? |
Bartender | Well let me see little lady, eh six credits, eh figure a reasonable mark-up for a reasonable profit, say eh ten percent mark-up, eh ten credits. |
Cyrano | Thief! |
Bartender | In fact, I'll sell you this one. |
Chekov | Hey! He's eating my grain. |
Bartender | That'll be ten credits. |
Cyrano | That, happens to be my sample, and I'll do with it as I please...And I please to give it to the lovely little lady here. |
Uhura | Oh I couldn't...could I? |
Cyrano | I insist. |
Bartender | What are you trying to do, ruin the market? |
Cyrano | Once this lovely little lady starts to show this precious little darling around, you won't be able to keep up with them. |