Dreams to Remember
by Hester
Beverly Howard entered the building, ascended the stairs to the first floor and looked around for room 144. The door was wide open, and even before entering she could hear several people talking. Good, so at least I won't be the only one. She stopped right inside the door and surveyed the group. About two dozen young men and women occupied the various chairs and tables, some chatting confidently among themselves, others looking around shyly and trying to blend in with the walls and furniture. Beverly smiled.
Signing up for the Academy Writing and Acting Drama Class had been an impulsive decision, and more than once Beverly had thought about not showing up for the first meeting. Now she was glad she was here. She had just started her second year at Starfleet Medical (after completing the regular academy course), and after five years filled with nothing but books, classes and lab assignments, she had finally decided that she needed something to take her mind off her work every once in a while. Beverly studied hard, and she always came out at the top of her class, but lately that hadn't been enough anymore. On her way to the second year enrollment her eye had caught the drama class's description among the list of classes to choose from, and she had simply decided to try it.
The cadets in the room seemed to represent all the academy's departments. Most of them wore command red, but there were a few in science gold and even one or two in medical blue, the color Beverly herself wore. The numbers of men and women were about equal.
Two minutes later, the teacher entered the room. She was a middle-aged woman, very small and very thin, but with sparkling green eyes that held more fire than Beverly had ever seen in a person before. She took up her place in front of the class and loudly cleared her throat. The chatter instantly ceased.
The woman smiled. "Welcome to the drama class," she began. "My name is Mrs. Campbell. I am not a member of Starfleet, but I work at the theater in town. The academy has asked me to provide this class in order to offer you some diversion from your regular courses. That does not mean, however, that you'll have to work less here. If anything, you'll have to work more." She turned slowly, looking at everyone in turn. "I want to keep this introduction as short as possible so that you can begin your work right away. The object of this class is to write a play and then perform it in front of the class. It doesn't matter how much experience you have with drama; you will get all the help you might need. I hope, however, that you will soon find out that you can do much more than you thought."
She reached into her bag and pulled out a list. "I have divided you into groups of three. In these groups, you will first discuss what kind of play you are going to write, then you will gradually work out the particulars. Every other week, we will have a talk with the full group to discuss any problems that might arise. Any questions so far?"
The cadets looked around at one another, but none said a word.
"Good, then let's begin. The first group is--"
While Beverly waited for her name to be called, she unobtrusively scanned the other cadets. She new a few of them by sight but that was all. Some showed a definite air of superiority; obviously they had worked with drama before and now saw themselves at an advantage. Others looked as if they would gladly leave the room never to return. Beverly wasn't quite sure what she wanted. She had never worked with drama before, but she had enough stage experience through dancing as to not be frightened at the prospect of performing in front of a group of people. Writing a play by herself was the biggest part of the challenge, and she just hoped that the other two cadets in her group would know something more about it than herself.
"Beverly Howard."
Beverly's head jerked up. "Yes."
Mrs. Campbell nodded towards a corner of the room. "You're with them."
The medical student looked over at the two cadets clad in red. One of them was male, tall and thin, and totally unattractive. The other was female, smaller than Beverly but with a distinctive air of self-confidence about her. Beverly immediately liked her.
She approached them and held out her hand. "Hi, I'm Beverly Howard."
The woman was first to respond. "Kathryn Janeway." Her handshake was firm, and clear hazel eyes looked up smiling at Beverly. "I'm in my first year. You're a medical student?"
"Yes, I just started my second year in medical school." Beverly turned towards the man. "And you are...?"
"Benjamin Parkins." He reached for Beverly's hand and held it fast. A sly grin appeared on his face as he looked her over. His voice sank to a conspicuous whisper. "But my friends call me Ben." He laughed, a sound that Beverly instinctively disliked.
She reclaimed her hand and crossed her arms in front of her body, mentally putting some distance between them. Speaking more to Kathryn than to Ben, she asked, "So, does any of you have any experience with drama? I've been on stage before, but only as a dancer."
"Not really," Kathryn said. "I've been taking part in one or two holo novels, but I suppose that's not really the same."
"Don't worry, I can teach you everything you need to know." Ben now regarded Kathryn with the same kind of look that he had given Beverly before. "My uncle owns a theater in Houston, Texas. I practically grew up on stage." He laughed again, and Beverly shot an exasperated look at Kathryn. What she read in the other woman's eyes told her that she was not the only one who did not like Ben's laugh--or Ben for that matter.
The three of them sat down at a table to discuss their plans for the play.
"We should do something easy," Kathryn suggested. "A straightforward plot, not too many characters. A family story maybe."
"How about a romance?" Ben still wore his obnoxious grin. "A tragic love affair, like 'Romeo and Juliet'. We'd have to have a happy ending, though. There's nothing an audience loves more than a final kiss that settles it all."
"Of course." The sarcasm in Beverly's voice was lost on Ben.
They debated the point for several more minutes and finally decided to attempt a simple murder mystery--without any romantic tangles which would just have served to make the plot more complicated. Ben still complained that all the good plays he knew were all about love in some fashion, but Kathryn and Beverly remained firm. By the time they had roughly sketched down their first ideas, the class was over.
Ben stretched his arms over his head and looked alternately at the two women in front of him. "Well, good work, girls. Where shall we go now?"
"Excuse me?" Beverly had been about to leave, but now she stopped and stared down at Ben.
"I said, 'Where shall we go now?' Didn't you know that it's common practice for the students in this class to go out together afterwards? We do that every year."
"So you've been in this class before?"
For the first time, Ben's grin dropped a fraction of an inch. "Err, not exactly. But I've heard--"
"I'm very sorry," Beverly cut him off. "I still have to do some revision for my xenobiology class tomorrow. Andorians, Caitians... it's all quite complicated. You'll understand?"
"Yeah, sure." Ben had the grace to look disappointed. "Maybe next time?"
"Maybe." Never. Beverly grabbed her bag.
"How about you?" Ben now turned towards Kathryn.
The first year cadet shook her head. "My mother is coming to visit tonight. I really can't. Actually," she glanced at her watch, "I have to hurry. See you next week." A moment later she was gone.
Beverly quickly followed her example. "Bye." She disappeared through the door before Ben could recover from his surprise. She left the building and turned around a corner. Then she heard something.
"Sssht, Beverly."
Puzzled, Beverly looked around.
Kathryn's head popped out from behind a tree. "Is he gone?"
"Yes." Beverly laughed. "He was much too surprised to follow us."
"Good." Kathryn left her hiding place and joined Beverly on the path. "So tell me--what are you doing tonight? I mean really?"
"Hm, let me think." Beverly put a finger to her lips. "I covered the Andorians and Caitians this afternoon, the Tellarites can wait until tomorrow..." She shrugged. "Guess I'm not doing anything in particular tonight."
"Want to come round to my room and talk about our play some more? Without Ben this time."
"Sounds good." Beverly grinned. "I get the wine, you get the crackers."
"Deal." Kathryn grinned back. That moment, a friendship was born.
From that day on, Beverly and Kathryn met almost every day, usually for lunch, and they discovered many similarities between them. They were both extremely strong-willed and didn't like other people telling them what to do. Both placed their work above everything else and often studied late into the night, but they also tried to pull each other out of that routine every once in a while by suggesting a night out or just showing up for a chat. When one had a problem, the other was there to listen and help. Even their tastes in men were similar,but it never got to the point of fighting about someone.
Over the next couple of weeks, Kathryn and Beverly successfully thought up and executed a plan to manipulate Ben into accepting all their ideas for the play. The secret was simply to make him believe that a certain scene had started out from one of his ideas and he was ready to try anything. A couple of times this was actually true, and as the weeks went by Ben gradually stopped his advances and his trying to impress them with his 'superior' knowledge, and the three of them were finally able to develop a comfortable working atmosphere.
As the end of the term approached, their play slowly took on its final form. They had kept it down to six characters, two to play for each of them. All three were quite satisfied with their work, and even Mrs. Campbell had complimented them on some of their more extravagant ideas and their creativity. Still, the thought of performing in front of their classmates became more frightening with each new change they made, and one week before the crucial date, Kathryn was ready to quit.
On the day of what they called their 'dress rehearsal', they met in Beverly's room which had doubled as their 'stage' several times before. Her room mate knew what to expect and had decided to spend the evening at a friend's place rather than expose herself to what she called 'the drama-obsessed crazies'.
Kathryn arrived late, due to having to finish a lab report first, and flung herself onto Beverly's bed immediately after entering the room. "I don't think I can do this anymore."
"What?" Ben asked, busy putting on a false mustache for his first role.
"Making a fool of myself."
"What are you talking about?" Beverly peeked out from the bathroom where she was changing into her costume.
"Haven't you heard? Mrs. Campbell moved the site for our performances to the large auditorium and invited all of Starfleet Academy."
"WHAT? WHY?" Beverly bolted out of the bathroom, eyes wide with shock. Her dress was only half zipped.
"Something about having a bigger audience and getting a greater diversity of opinions for us to judge our work by." Kathryn rolled her eyes in despair. "Do you know how many people in the lab today have asked me 'Aren't you one of the students in the drama group? We look forward to your performance.' I know I'll be nervous as hell and won't be able to remember a single line, knowing that all those people I know are in the audience. I'd rather quit now than make a complete and utter fool of myself."
"You can't," Ben stated matter-of-fact. "If you quit, Beverly and I won't be able to do our play and all our work would have been for nothing."
"But--"
"Kathryn," Beverly soothed, moving over to the bed to sit beside her friend and giving Ben a 'shut-up-and-let-me-talk-to-her' look, "it's okay to be scared of being on stage for the first time, but that's just part of the whole deal. Everyone goes through that. I remember that before my first dance performance, I was convinced I had forgotten all my steps, but as soon as the music started, it all came back to me. Once you're out there, you'll forget all about the audience and live just for the play. Everything will be fine."
Kathryn still looked doubtful, but Beverly could see her determination waver. She went on. "From experience I can tell you that most people will admire you for having the courage to get up there and perform, no matter how good or bad an actor you actually are. They'll wish they had the nerve, too. There are usually very few people who will criticize you, and if it's not constructive criticism, you shouldn't care what they say." She smiled reassuringly, and after a moment, Kathryn smiled back. "Besides, I know how much you enjoy performing your roles, and you shouldn't let a bit of stage-fright stop you now that we're so close to the end. Think positive! Just keep telling yourself that our play will be a total success." In a lower, more conspicuous voice, she added "I might even bribe a few people so that they'll clap for us."
Kathryn started to laugh, and after a moment Beverly and Ben joined her. Then Beverly rose and pulled Kathryn up with her. "And now, young lady, you had better get into your costume. We still have some serious work to do tonight."
"Yes, Sir," Kathryn saluted, grabbed her costume and disappeared into the bathroom. A second later she stuck her head back out. "Just promise you won't tell my parents, okay?"
"Stop worrying," Beverly laughed, pushing the bathroom door closed and forcing Kathryn into retreat. A devilish grin appeared on her face as a thought crossed her mind.
All the drama group's different performances went extremely well, and Kathryn's, Beverly's and Ben's play got the most, and the loudest, applause of them all. Kathryn's parents were among the first to congratulate her daughter when the actors finally came outside after changing out of their costumes, and Kathryn even found she was glad they had come.
Ben left soon afterwards with some relatives, promising to meet up with his group mates the next day to celebrate their success.
Kathryn saw Beverly standing aside all by herself, looking slightly lost between all the families and groups of friends. She excused herself from her parents and went over to her. Giving Beverly a big hug, she said, "Thanks for making me stick with it. I've never seen my parents so exited!"
"See? I told you it would be worth it." Beverly looked wistful. None of her close friends or relatives had been able to make it to the performance, and she suddenly felt a bit like an outsider, having no one to share her happiness.
Kathryn at once noticed her mood and reached for her hand. "My parents want to take me out for a late dinner to celebrate. Will you join us? They'd love to meet you." Closely studying Beverly's face, she added, "Please?"
Beverly hesitated only for a moment. "All right." Together they made their way towards the group of people.
The toast at the dinner table left no room for doubts about their plans for the future. "To next year's play!"
22 years later.
"...and it was a wonderful. I wish you would get some shore leave on
Earth soon, then we could go again together. You really shouldn't miss
this play! It reminded me a little of our first own production at the
academy. Remember? What fun that was!
Anyway, I'll be heading off on a mission with the Voyager tomorrow.
I'll tell you all about it when I get back.
I miss you, Beverly. If you ever want to leave the Enterprise,
there'll always be a place for you on the Voyager. But I know you
won't leave--how are things between you and Picard by the way? ;-)
Talk to you soon,
Kathryn"
Beverly Crusher leaned back in her chair and chuckled. Leave it to Kathryn Janeway to brighten up an otherwise dull day. She really missed being able to talk to her by subspace, they always had a great time and laughed a lot. She had told her things she couldn't even tell Deanna, and Kathryn always had an answer or at least a suggestion to her problems. She had the unique ability to put herself into someone else's place and still look at a situation from an objective point of view. It was no surprise that the name Janeway had risen fast in Starfleet.
Unfortunately the Enterprise was just too far out of reach for direct communication at the moment. Priority messages from Starfleet took two days to reach them, personal messages took even longer. Beverly sighed and started to prepare her answer. She had just written the first sentence when the door chimed. "Come in."
Jean-Luc Picard entered the room, looking more than slightly uncomfortable. Beverly recognized the look at once, it was the same he had worn when he had come to tell her of Jack's death. She steeled herself against the worst.
He could see in her eyes that she was ready to hear the news. There was no use beating about the bush. "I just got a priority message from Starfleet. The Voyager has been lost in the Badlands four days ago. They have little hope of finding any survivors." In a low voice, he added, "I'm sorry. I know how close you and Captain Janeway were."
Beverly nodded, still unsure whether she had heard him correctly. Mechanically, she began to delete the words from her screen until only "Dear Kathryn" remained. She did not hear Picard coming up behind her and jumped when his hands touched her shoulders.
He lightly stroked her hair, then pulled her up and around until she stood facing him. "Do you want to talk about it?" She nodded again, her eyes filling with tears. He took her in his arms, and she silently started to cry.
Millions of light years away in the Delta Quadrant, Beverly's tears were echoed in the loneliness of the Voyager's captain's quarters. The text on the activated but long forgotten computer screen read: "Shattered Dreams -- A Play by Bev, Ben and Kate".
The end.
avid readers since January 4, 1998
Back to my list of stories.
© 1996 by Hester