Welcome

ALL

Currently underconstruction. Come back later. This page is written by Daniel Foley of Spaniards Bay Newfoundland

> > > >

Finally a joke that explains what it's like to be Canadian... Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the of world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all_who come across them." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

SIGNS YOU MAY BE A CANADIAN, 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.

2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk"

3. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, Ijust spilled my poutine."

4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.

5. You drink pop, not soda.

6. You know what it means to be on 'pogey'

. 7. You know that "a mickey" and "2-4's" mean "Party at the cabin,eh!!"

8. You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.

9. You can drink legally while still a 'teen'.

10. You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices.

11. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.

12. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheapplace to travel to and has good cigars.

13. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fixit instead of telling them to stay out of it.

14. You're not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don't want to know if he has!

15.You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.

16. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

17. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

18. You sit on a couch not a chesterfield - because Chesterfield is asmall town in Quebec.

19. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.

20. You have Canadian Tire money.

21. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".

22. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."

*****23. You know that Canada is the only country to successfully invadethe US and burn its capital to the ground.

24. You voted for a political leader who admitted to smoking pot.

25. You read rather than scanned this list and looked for spelling andgrammatical errors.

****26. You dismiss all beers under 6% alcohol content as "for children and the elderly, and for export to the US".

27. You know what a touque is and probably own one.

28. You laugh afterward at some U.S. citizens' lack of knowledge of Canadian geography, but you are too polite to correct them.

29. You use a tennis ball more for road hockey and dog chasing than for tennis.

30. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.

Best experienced with

CLick Here to start.