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1 -- The reason that it gets such good mileage is because only three cylinders actually function. ('70 Bus)
2 -- There aren't any oil leaks but the beast burns three quarts in a month. ('70 Bus)
3 -- Opposite of above.
4 -- You have more than one spare carburetor. They are all with you in the car at any given time. ('74 Beetle)
5 -- Your girlfriend is scared to ride in it (bingo...). ('74 Beetle?!)
6 -- The brakes are "moody". ('66 Beetle)
7 -- You have to run around to the back and disconnect a wire on the alternator to shut the engine off. ('74 Beetle)
8 -- You actually find it economical to own three or more Volkswagens because only one is usually working at one time.
9 -- There's more Bondo(tm) on the car than actual sheet metal.
10 -- It backfires a LOT when you don't put premium gas in it.
11 -- The windshield wipers don't work when it rains.
12 -- Your car is more than two colors, and they aren't even close to being similar. ('66 Beetle, '70 Bus)
13 -- If you slam the door too hard it comes open and hits you back.
14 -- Sometimes crap falls off the engine while you're driving. ('74 Beetle)
15 -- You hate speed bumps because your car bottoms out. ('66 Beetle)
16 -- The muffler is older than you are. Hell, it's older than your parents. ('66 Beetle!!!)
17 -- The battery has exploded more than once and you think of it as an inconvenience. ('74 Beetle)
18 -- You put a stereo in your VW and the value of the car triples. ('74 Beetle)
19 -- You've got a "poor man's cruise control" -- the accelerator pedal sticks. ('74 Beetle)
20 -- When you go to fix the reverse lights, the bulb is burnt out, the fuse is blown, the switch on the transmission doesn't work, AND the wire is also cut. (really!) ('74 Beetle)
21 -- There is some lag between when you hit the gas and when the car starts accelerating, and you aren't moving at relativistic speeds. ('74 Beetle w/009)
22 -- You nudge a car in the parking lot, and you are truly more concerned about damage done to the other vehicle. ('74 Beetle)
23 -- You, or someone you know, learned how to drive a standard transmission in it.
24 -- You have ever tried to tow a car that weighs more than twice as much as yours up a hill and over a speed bump...and were successful. ('74 Beetle)
25 -- If there's a big puddle ahead, you floor it just to see if you can hydroplane across the whole damn thing. ('74 Beetle)
26 -- There are more than two different brands of tires mounted on your car at any time. ('67 Kombi)
27 -- If "play" in the steering wheel exceeds twelve inches. ('70 Bus)
28 -- If you require your passengers to sit in certain places to help balance the vehicle. ('74 Beetle)
29 -- You pull up to a gas station and people do NOT comment how they used to own a VW but stare in frank disbelief. ('66 Beetle)
30 -- You realize and USE the knowledge that double-clutching or "stealing" the synchro from first gear can be used to downshift into second without grinding. ('74 Beetle)
31 -- If at any point in time, the engine of said vehicle has been out for a duration of more than two months. ('74 Beetle)
32 -- If you can remove, disassemble, clean, reassemble, and install a carburetor in ten minutes or less. ('74 Beetle)
33 -- If you can actually say, with a straight face, "It's slow, even for a VW." ('70 Bus)
34 -- You show the car to someone, and they are surprised when you mention you had to pay for it. ('62 Bus)
35 -- The engine you rely on to get you 800 miles in two days was found in some dude's yard. ('67 Kombi)
36 -- Your car features a "front cab pavement monitoring system," in the form of gaping rust holes in the floor. ('62 Bus)
37 -- When you stop for gas smoke comes out of the engine vents -- and this is OK. ('67 Kombi :-))
38 -- More than half of your oil plate studs are broken and replaced with a screw or something. ('67 Kombi!)
39 -- If you're on a date and it looks like rain, you go get another car because you don't want your date getting wet. ('67 Kombi)
40 -- If finding reverse takes more than five seconds. ('70 Bus)
41 -- A shock comes loose, so you just take off the one on the other side to balance it out. ('67 Kombi)
42 -- You carry more than 50 pounds of tools and parts in your car. (All of 'em)
43 -- You're scared of getting pulled over because the cop might throw pot into your car, say it's yours, and nobody would argue. ('67 Kombi)
44 -- Rocker panels? We don't need no steenking rocker panels! ('62 Bus, thanks Dave :-))
45 -- Who needs glass? Or a fuel tank? Or an engine? Or door locks, brakes, electrical? ('62 Bus)
46 -- You have run to the back with a fire extinguisher, only to find the engine is not on fire, but it was just something smoking. ('67 Kombi)
47 -- You have ever made a repair to your car with duct tape, a paper clip, or some other such thing. ('67 Kombi)
48 -- You have had to downshift lower than third gear to crawl up a hill. ('67 Kombi)
AND last but not least...
49 -- You have enough spare parts in your garage to assemble two more fully operating VWs. (Yay!!)
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