The Games of Saberhaven
Al'kazaar vs. Harumph
        It's a cloudy day today in the Arena, bringing a bit of a chill to the bleachers. Today's competitors are Harumph, the half-giant gladiator from Romus Todd's slave pens, and Al'Kazzar, a rookie psionicist from Athas. While Harumph usually manages to put on a good show, he doesn't have flashy spells to bring in some of the more jaded Arena-watchers. Al'Kazzar is not only a newcomer, with no following, but a psionicist, most of whom are notorious for being rather boring to watch. These factors have combined with the ill weather to offer a very sparse crowd.
       The doors open with the announcer's excited cries: "Harumph! Versus… Al'Kazzaaaaaaaaarrrrrr!" Harumph enters the Arena gripping a lotuli in each hand, grinning for the crowd but looking intently at the other end of the Arena. Al'Kazzar enters through the other door, his brilliant blue cloak whipping in the wind. The mindbender is only visible for a moment, though, before disappearing into thin air. At the other end of the Arena, Harumph snarls his disgust.
       "What's the matter, Blondie, afraid ol' Harumph might hurt you?" he laughs. "Come out and play!" There is a smattering of laughter from the audience, but no sign of Al'Kazzar.
       "OK, Blondie, ready or not, here I come!" Harumph shouts. Holding his lotulis with limp wrists, the gigantic gladiator begins to skip around the Arena like a schoolchild, occasionally pausing to pretend to peer under a rock or other figment. After a minute of this, he gives a great shrug and shouts, "I give up! All ye all ye in come freeee!" The audience is roaring with laughter at the absurd sight.
       Still seeing no sign of Al'Kazzar, Harumph starts scratching a five foot tall "B" in the Arena dust. He is just starting on an "L" when he stands up straight with a wide-eyed look and says, "Oooh! I just got a tingly feeling! I think Blondie's using his psychic powers on me!" He takes a wide, sweeping look around the Arena, then sets to his scratching again. After a minute or so, he has spelled out, "BLONDIE LIKES BOYS!" The audience is practically in tears from laughing.
       Harumph puts on a more serious demeanor, and in a booming voice cries out, "Ladies and Gentleman! Today, for your viewing pleasure, the Saberhaven Arena, in cooperation with Romus Todd, presents… Harumph the Mighty, and his Whirling Lotulis of Death!" With this self-introduction, the gladiator launches into a dazzling display of martial arts. The lotuli blades spin in intricate patterns, and Harumph himself weaves in between the twirling weapons with phenomenal grace. The audience claps enthusiastically; there is usually little time for Harumph to demonstrate his prowess before he finishes off his opponents.
       The half-giant's acrobatics grow more impressive as the minutes wear on. He does backflips, cartwheels, and other tumbling marvels, all while keeping the lotulis spinning like pinwheels. Harumph begins an attack routine involving several high-flying leaps and flips - when there is a blinding flash. As a puff of smoke clears, Harumph's empty cloak floats to the ground. The audience is stunned into silence.
       Al'Kazzar finally appears, some thirty or forty yards away from Harumph's last position. His head is bowed, and he looks unhappy. Speaking to the audience, he says, "I apologize to you for this poor victory. I will compensate Romus Todd for Harumph's resurrection." Looking very small and alone in the mighty Arena, Al'Kazzar makes his exit.

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