All the songs in this story belong to the talented people who wrote them
(mostly Eric Clapton), and I do not mean any disrespect to them. Also, the
characters in the story belong to the crew at Forever Knight and I am only
trying to fill a few holes in the relationship that was sadly neglected near
the end of the series run!
 

Nick rattled the file cabinet in frustration, knowing full well he couldn't
just tear the stuck drawers off the hinges. He jiggled it for a few minutes
more until he was able to inject a little unnoticed vampire strength causing
the metal to squeal as it opened. He reached over the top of the cabinet and
grabbed the files he wanted to put back. He grumbled to himself as he forced
the other files apart and shoved his own between them. 
He shook his head and shut the drawer. No, he wasn't mad at Tracy. He was mad
at Nat, or himself... he wasn't sure which.

He walked back to his desk and slumped into the chair, leaned forward on his
elbows and dropped his chin into his hands. He couldn't remember what he had
done to make Nat so mad at him lately…. and she wouldn't tell him either. The
last time they spoke on a personal level had been almost a month ago. Other
than that, she had only given him cursory explanations for her autopsies and
stayed away as if he had some sort of a plague.

His mind wandered back the conversation that had started his estrangement
from her.....


He and Schanke had gone to the Coroner's office to check on an autopsy that
was taking longer than usual, and Nick had wanted to see Nat. Her smile added
a bounce to his step and made his heart lighter every time he felt the guilt
of his past start to cave in on him. But this time she hadn't been offering
any consolation.

"Hi, Nat." He smiled at her and placed a hand on her shoulder to get her
attention.

Natalie turned around and avoided his eyes when she saw who it was. "Hello.
I've got that report here... somewhere..." She riffled through a huge pile of
papers on her desk until she found the one she was looking for.  "Here you
go."

Schanke took the file and opened it. "Thanks, Natalie. We're hoping to put
the guy who did this away for good."

"Well, it looks like our John Doe was strangled the same as all the others.
Fortunately for you though, he was able to get some skin under his nails
before he died. It matches the samples you took from Canton McDaniel. I think
you guys might have yourselves an open and shut case." Natalie looked at Nick
and cleared her throat. "Um, Nick. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Nick smiled. "Sure. I'll be out in a minute, Schank."

Schanke snickered to himself and left the room.

Nick turned back to Natalie. "So, Doctor Lambert. What can I do for you?"

She took in a breath.  She had to sigh a bit to herself at her choice of
words... forever. Unfortunately was a choice for at least one of them. Then
she pushed the thought out of her mind and steeled herself for his reaction
to her next statement. "Um, Nick, listen... I can't make it tonight for
videos."

He glanced at the pile of papers on her desk and shrugged. "That's okay. How
about tomarrow?"

She placed a hand on his chest and licked her lips. "Actually, I won't be
able to see you for a while."

His eyebrows came together in a concerned bunch. "Why? Are you sick or
something?"

Natalie shook her head and absently played with one of the buttons on his
shirt. "No, I'm fine.. physically anyway. But, I need to have some time to
myself. Some time to heal..." She lowered her voice. "sans vampires."

Nick couldn't help the hurt look that settled on his face. "Did I do
something wrong, Nat?" When she removed her hand from his chest and looked
away, he searched for specifics. "What did I do, Nat?"

She shook her head and moved away from him. She stood against the desk and
crossed her arms across her breasts.  "It's not
you, it's me. So much has happened lately that I need a chance to clear my
mind."

He was confused. "But, Nat..."

She cut him off with a raised hand. "Nick, I don't want to talk about this
anymore! There are some things I need to do for myself, by myself."

Nick just nodded and crossed forward to stand in front of her. He reached up
and stroked her face with the back of his hand. "Okay. Just promise me that
you'll tell me about it when it's time." She nodded and reached up to squeeze
his hand. Natalie had been through so much, more than a mere mortal should
have to deal with, and it was all on his account. At least it felt that way
to him. Richard, Roger, her god-daughter, LaCroix and his torturous pursuit
of him and the threat he posed against Nat's wishes, his own bouts with guilt
and loss. He couldn't fault her for wanting a normal life even if it was only
for a little while.




Nick had been prepared for her to take a week or so to sort out her thoughts,
but Natalie hadn't even taken blood samples from him in over three weeks.
People at the station were starting to talk about the two, mostly about how
formal they had become with each other. Schanke had even commented on how
weird they were acting.  Not to mention Nick's temper and his unexpected
flare-ups when ever anything went wrong. Even the little stuff like a file
cabinet getting stuck, or a sleazy public defender set him off.




Jeff Kenner cruised along the precinct chuckling to himself. Finally, he had
some knowledge that Detective Nick 'The Knightmare' Knight didn't. To make it
even better yet in Jeff's warped and petty mind, it was about Knight's
girlfriend Natalie! He skimmed his fingers along the side of Nick's desk and
planted his skinny rear-end on the corner of it. "So, Knight. How's it
going?"

Nick sighed loudly and yanked a folder out from under Jeff's bony behind,
causing the other man to fall off the desk and flail about until he was able
to regain his balance before hitting the ground. Nick heard Schanke
struggling to hold in his laughter as Nick felt the same urge. "What do you
want Kenner? Looking for some criminals to set back on the street to commit
crimes again? Sorry to disappoint you, but we've only got airtight cases
right now." He hated Jeff Kenner and his slimy defensive tactics, but knew it
wasn't worth getting in a fight over it.

"Funny, Knight, and here I was about to let you know what your girlfriend's
been up to on the weekends. You know, when she's busy spending time blowing
you off?" He was flustered and embarrassed by his less than graceful save
from the floor, but the look on Knight's face made it all worthwhile.

Nick looked at Jeff sharply. "What are you talking about, Kenner?" He knew a
lot of people at Metro thought that he and Natalie were a couple, it was just
that now was the first time anyone had said anything to him publicly. 

Jeff felt his power rising. He liked to see Knight squirming. "It seems that
Natalie Lambert has found herself another career." He reached into the pocket
of his blazer and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "Or didn't you know
about that?"

Nick snatched the bright yellow paper from him. He unfolded what turned out
to be a club flyer. He stared at the words printed on it in bold black print.
 He
scanned the flyer again until he saw the pictures on the bottom of the page.
His eyes widened when he recognized Natalie's beautiful face. She was
standing in the middle of two other pretty women, her hair styled wildly and
her makeup more heavy than he had ever seen it. Apparently she was one of the
aforementioned 'Sisters'. He shook his head and looked to Jeff. He was going
to have to swallow his pride and kiss up to the sickening defense attorney.
"No, I didn't know about this." He held up the flyer. "Can I keep it?"

Jeff sneered at the detective, remembering all of the shouting matches in the
past over his defense tactics. Now was pay back time. "I didn't think you
knew, otherwise you'd have been in the front row every night. Boy are you
missing some show out there. She wears this sexy dress slit up to there with
practically every inch of her back showing too. It gets everyone really hot.
Especially the way she swings her hips when she's singing, oohh yeah, and
when she sits on the stool to play the guitar you can almost see up her
dress." He made a leering face but jumped back when Nick lunged at him from
his chair.

He grabbed Kenner by the lapels and lifted him off the ground. "Don't you
ever talk about Nat like that!" He dropped the slimy man to the floor when
Schanke put a restraining hand on his arm. "Get the hell out of my face,
Kenner!" Before the other man could scramble off, Nick searched out his
heartbeat and let his voice get low and suggestive. "You will not tell anyone
else about this... do you understand me?" He knew it was taking a chance to
hypnotize him in the middle of the station, but Nick wouldn't have Nat
humiliated by this bastard.

Jeff nodded his head dumbly. "Won't tell anyone... right." Then he stumbled
out of the room and away from Nick's fury.

Schanke looked around the room. No one heard the specifics of the fight but
they were definitely  aware that something was wrong. "Hey, partner, what was
that all about? I didn't know Nat was a singer."

Nick sat back down into his chair and shook his head. "Neither did I."

Just then Tracy walked in and crossed over to his desk. When she saw the
paper she picked it up and read it. As soon as she realized what it said, she
glanced around in a panic. "Nick, where did you get this?"

He looked at her with confusion on his face. He should have known that any
bright paper would have attracted her attention, but she seemed to know more
about it than she was trying to let on. "Jeff Kenner gave it to me. Why?"

She cleared her throat and started to fold the flyer up. "Um, just
wondering." She tried to slip the paper into the back pocket of her jeans
unnoticed. "I've got to go run a personal errand, um, sign me out for lunch
okay?"

Nick and Schanke looked at each other. Both noticed her attempt to
appropriate the flyer. Nick reached out and took the paper from her pocket.
"You're lying, Tracy. What do you know about this?"

Tracy cursed herself for getting caught. 
"Nick, I don't think I should be telling you anything. I promised Natalie."

Nick looked hurt. "Tracy, I thought I was your friend. Why would you keep
something like this a secret from me? You know how much Nat's well-being
means to me."

The pretty blonde couldn't believe her ears. "What? Nick, Natalie is also my
friend. I can't believe that the minute you two break up, you expect me to
betray her confidence just because we're friends?" Her voice had gotten
incredulous and loud. "Did you think that there might have been a reason she
wanted to keep this a secret from you?" She regretted the words the second
they left her mouth, it wasn't a nice thing to say and Nick didn't deserve to
be on the receiving end of her anger. She had been keeping it a secret for
more than six months, ever since Vachon had started giving Natalie guitar
lessons. The worry that she would be found out had become almost
overwhelming, causing her to chew her nails to nubs in the process.

Nick stood and practically shouted back at her, the frustration of his
separation from Natalie rearing it’s ugly head "First of all, we didn't break
up!" He discovered that all eyes were on him and he lowered his voice. "She's
just taking a little breather, that's all, and, secondly," He tried to temper
his anger and make his voice sound nonchalant. "we can't break up when we
aren't going out."

Schanke tried to hide the laughter that was bubbling up within him. He rarely
got the chance to see his partner looking like anything but the perfect cop.
He was enjoying his embarrassment, but he wasn't proud of it so he succeeded
in stifling himself. "Nick, I know I've been married for a while and out of
the dating loop for even longer... but.... Friends don't ask for
space…girlfriends do." He shook his head as walked off to locate a cup of
coffee.

Tracy stared at him. He was going to find out everything in the long run so
she decided to let him in on what Natalie was doing. "About six months ago,
Nat told me that she was interested in continuing the guitar lessons she had
taken in college. The only problem was that she could only do it at night,
because she had too much to do during the day and she needed to catch up on
her sleep. She was feeling really run down lately, after her brother's death
and... the rest, and was looking for something to give her a change." She
took a deep breath. "So, I told her that my friend Javier could give her
lessons. He's really good and a night-owl too." She waited for a minute while
the name registered on Nick's brain. She knew that Nick was  a vampire since
almost the moment she had met Vachon. She would have to have been an idiot
not to see the similarities between the two men. But, because of the vampire
Code that Javier had told her about, she had acted dumb and not let anything
on to Nick. Now she had to worry about Nick's reaction to her leaving Natalie
alone with another seductive vampire. When he didn't say anything, she
continued. "Anyway, Javier has been giving her lessons since then. She
apparently met those two singers, " She nodded at the flyer. "on the Internet
and they formed a band about two months ago. They started singing on weekends
just over three weeks ago. It's a limited engagement because the bar only
hires bands for a month at a time unless the demand for them is high and he
extends their contract. Tonight's the last night in their contract, but I've
seen the crowd's reaction and I think the manager might try to get them to
stay on longer. There, that's the story. I hope you feel good about making me
tell you this. I doubt Natalie will forgive me for giving up her secret."

Nick sat back in his chair and fell deep into thought. Why would she keep
something like this from him? Had Vachon gotten his fangs into her? No, he
was crazy about Tracy. This was a side to Nat that he never suspected. He
looked at the picture. Even her heavily made appearance brought about an ache
and desire that made him sigh. Would she be angry with him if he went to see
her perform? It was the last night she was going to be singing, at least as
far as her contract was concerned. He couldn't see her giving up the medical
profession for singing in a band and traveling the road. It just wasn't like
Nat, not his Nat. 

Tracy harumphed at him and slapped her hands to her hips in indignation.
"Well, take that for gratitude!"

Nick snapped out of his thoughts and smiled with embarrassment at her. "I'm
really sorry, Trace. Thanks for telling me, I won't let Nat know you told me
anything. Do you think she'd be mad if I showed up tonight to see her
perform? I'd really like to hear her sing, I didn't even know she could carry
a tune."

Tracy shook her head at him, a look of pity in her eyes. "She'll probably be
pissed, but I think that you need to hear it." He gave her a look that said
he knew nothing about what she meant. She patted him on the shoulder. "If you
listen close enough, you'll figure it out." She walked off to start on the
backed-up filing Nick had complained about earlier.

Nick watched her retreat and thought about what she said. He looked at his
watch, it read 8:30 PM. If he flew, literally, he could just make the show
when it started at 9.

Schanke came back to their joined desks and waved Nick's unspoken question
aside. "I already signed you off for the rest of the shift. It looks like a
quiet night and I think I can manage without the 'Master of Hunches' tonight.
Go on, make up with Natalie and apologize for whatever you did wrong. Believe
me, it's always what we did wrong, never the woman."

Nick laughed at his partner and practically ran out of the station house.

Natalie primped her hair nervously, checked her lipstick again and smoothed
out her dress for the hundredth time in the past five minutes. She had been
singing here every Friday and Saturday night for the past three weekends, but
every performance brought about jitters like she had never felt before. It
made her both scared and giddy with anticipation. If only she had told Nick
about her singing, then she could look out into the audience and draw
strength from him.  Well, tonight was the last night for her group... so she would
never know the answer to those particular questions. 


Greg, the club's manager, knocked on the dressing room door before entering.
"Good evening, ladies. Natalie, I've got a cop from Metro here to see you. Is
there anything I should know about?"

Natalie could feel the hair on her neck stand up straight. Nick was here..
she could feel his presence just outside the door. "No, Greg. He's a friend."

Greg stood aside and let Nick past him.

Nick looked at Natalie with a stunned expression. She looked incredible!
Normally, the only kind of outfits he saw her in were either the medical
scrubs she wore in place of her business suits or casual sweats. Tonight she
was radiant in a white floor-length evening gown. Jeff had been right about
the slit up her thigh and the plunging back, but he forgot to mention the
bustier  front the dress had. It pushed up so that he could just see the
swell of her breasts, her skin was toned and honey-coloured as if she had
been sunbathing recently. Her makeup was heavy like it had been on the flyer
but he decided it must be because of the stage lighting. Since everything
looked lighter under the bright lights, a performer had to put it on darker
to compensate. Her hair was wild and free, despite the shellac job she had
done with the hair spray. Some of the curls framed her face calmly, yet the
rest was a slow progression outward in a mass of auburn rage that oozed sex
appeal all by themselves. His attention turned back to her face and the ruby
red lips that stopped, parted as if she were trying to let out a breath that
just wouldn't come. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkled underneath deep brown
shadow and thick, black false lashes.

Natalie stood staring at him. As usual just the sight of Nick took her breath
away and made her want to say and do things that were never to be.

A cough from the side of the room brought attention to the fact that they
weren't alone. Something that Natalie had forgotten the second Nick stepped
into the room. A sleek Asian woman stood up and offered her hand. "I'm Sierra
and you must be Nick."

He tore his gaze away from Natalie and took Sierra's hand in his. "Yes." He
looked her over in a cursory manner, only noticing that she wore the same
dress as Nat. But it seemed to hang a little bit awkwardly on the skinnier
woman's frame.

Another voice from behind him piped up. "So, this is the famous Nick. I'm
Margee." The owner of the voice was a buxom blonde with skin so tight, from
what Nick was sure had been a recent face-lift, he thought her smile was
going to snap her face in two. She purred at him and then glanced at Natalie.
"You are right, Nat, he's cute. I can see why you let him break your heart.
If I wasn't already too tired from divorcing my third husband, I'd give him a
chance myself."

Sierra looked at the clock next to the vanity. "Two minutes, Nat." She took a
hold of Margee and they both slipped out of the room closing the door behind
them, so Natalie and Nick could have a few minutes of privacy.

Nick stepped forward tentatively until he was only an arms length in front of
her. He reached out and tugged at a strand of hair that seemed to be caught
on her large, faux-diamond earring. "You look beautiful, Nat."

She waited until he removed the hair and lowered his hand. "Thank you. How
did you find out? Did Tracy finally crack?" She laughed a little when she
remembered the blonde detective telling her that she was going to have to buy
her a full manicure and pedicure when it was all over and out in the open. 

Nick shook his head and laughed slightly also. "No, it was Jeff Kenner.
Apparently he came in here last night and thought it would be fun to rub my
nose in it. And before you start to panic about your professional reputation,
I 'persuaded' him to keep this to himself." He felt his smile fade. "He
thought it was pretty hilarious that he knew about you singing here and I
didn't. Me, the guy who is so close to you that apparently the entire
precinct thinks we're a couple. Me, the vampire who needs and depends on you
the most." He paused. "Why didn't you tell me about it, Nat? Hell, I didn’t
even know you liked to sing."

She leaned back against the vanity, careful not to get any makeup on her
dress. "In college I was really shy. So I took singing and guitar lessons to
help me loosen up around crowds."

He nodded, she would have to be going onstage in a few seconds. "Nat, I need
to know why you felt you couldn't tell me about your singing. Did you think I
wouldn't support you?"

She shook her head and looked at the clock next to her. "No, Nick. I didn't
tell you because..." Pause. "Sierra, Margee and I all chose three songs each
to sing in the act. Mine are the last." She searched for the words to explain
everything to him. "Nick, the songs I chose are about us. About the way we
feel towards each other. I wasn't sure you would be able to handle what they
have to say. I wasn't even sure you would hear the same things I do when I
listen to the words." A knock on the door alerted her that it was time to go
onstage. "I want you to stay tonight, Nick. But, make sure that you're ready
to hear what I have to say. It's not earthshaking, but it comes from my heart
and it's how I feel. I think it's how you feel, too."

Nick reached out with his senses and inhaled the scent of her perfume, Chanel
No. 5, something she only wore on special occasions. "If you can sing it and
come to terms with the way it makes you feel, then I can too."

"Good. I'll get you a seat up front. I want to be able to see you." She
smiled up at him, the nervous tension dissipating quickly at his assurance. 

Nick twirled the glass of red wine in front of him, taking only a sip now and
then to head off his own nervous feelings. While Natalie was on stage, he
watched every movement. The way her lips seemed to caress the words that left
her mouth as she acted as a backup singer with either Sierra or Margee while
 they were singing their chosen selections. He didn't hear the other two
women, his concentration was on Natalie... and only Natalie. He hadn't even
noticed the panicked way Vachon had almost dropped his guitar when he saw
Nick sitting two tables away from the stage. When he realized that the
detective wasn't going to stake him, Javier relaxed enough to play with the
skill he had honed over the centuries.


By the time Natalie was to sing her three songs, she was feeling confident
despite the butterflies in her stomach.  She
decided to follow her thoughts and switched places with Sierra at the center
microphone. It wasn't necessary because of the small cordless microphones
attached to the "V" of the bustier part of her dress. It was Sierra's way of
playing to the crowd.

Javier started the musical intro to the Eric Clapton song, Layla.


Natalie, Sierra and Margee started to sway to the tune as they began the
song. She looked out into the audience and locked eyes with Nick before she
started to sing.


What will you be doin' when you're lonely,
no one waitin' by your side  
You've been runnin', hidin’ much too long,
you know it's just your foolish pride


(Nick sat spellbound. Her voice was light, husky and sexy all at the same
time.)

(As the three women sang the chorus, she made her way off the stage and into
the audience. Slowly, seductively, Natalie stepped in the direction of Nick's
table. Not once did she break eye contact with him.)


Layla, 
You've got me on my knees, Layla, 
Beggin' darlin' please, Layla,
Darlin' won't you ease my worried mind....


(Natalie closed in on Nick's table and dropped onto his lap with the next
verse. He was surprised but let his arms snake around her waist as she sat
comfortably.)

(She reached up and let the back of her hand run slowly down his face until
her fingers gently caressed his lips as she continued to sing.)


Try to give you consolation,
your old man won't let you down.

(She then slowly placed her hands on his chest and pushed up slightly while
letting her lips drop only centimeters from his.)  

Like a fool I fell in love with you
you turned my whole world upside down,


(He started to kiss her but she pushed herself off his lap, letting her head
flip up and her long hair whip his face as she did so. She moved away as she
walked back up to the stage, singing the chorus as she went.)


Layla, 
You've got me on my knees, Layla, 
Beggin' darlin' please, Layla,
Darlin' won't you ease my worried mind....


(Nick watched her hips swing seductively as she moved up the steps and back
to center stage. She grasped the standing microphone and smiled sadly at
Nick.)


Make the best of the situation,
before I finally go insane,

(Her expression became sadder when she remembered the meaning the next lines
had for her.)

Please don't say we'll never find a way,
tell me all my love's in vain......

(She fought back the tears and noticed Nick absently wiping at his eyes also.
The blood tears could never be shed in a public place but it warmed her heart
when she realized that he knew exactly what the song meant to her.)

Layla, 
You've got me on my knees, Layla, 
Beggin' darlin' please, Layla,
Darlin' won't you ease my worried mind....

(The three singers gathered around Vachon as he played his guitar and they
repeated the chorus again.)

Layla, 
You've got me on my knees, Layla, 
Beggin' darlin' please, Layla,
Darlin' won't you ease my worried mind....

 
(Javier leaned back on the stool and played out the guitar solo. As he did,
the Spaniard watched the non-physical interaction between Nick and Natalie.
It was obvious that they were in love, and the song spoke volumes about the
relationship. He smiled a little to himself when he saw that there was
jealousy in the other vampires' eyes as Natalie, and the other two women,
leaned against him.)

(They returned to the microphones and sang the chorus again twice.)


Layla, 
You've got me on my knees, Layla, 
Beggin' darlin' please, Layla,
Darlin' won't you ease my worried mind....

Layla, 
You've got me on my knees, Layla, 
Beggin' darlin' please, Layla,


(Natalie leaned into the mike and slowly sang the last line as if it were a
personal plea to Nick.)

 
Darlin'... won't you ease my wo-rried... mind....


The audience clapped and cheered wildly, mostly because they had found
Natalie's advance towards Nick to be quite a turn-on.



Vachon pulled another stool, along with his own, to the center of the stage
and adjusted the microphone stand to the same height Natalie would need when
she played. He took an acoustical guitar from Greg offstage and presented it
to Natalie. The two sat next to each other and messed with a few strings and
notes until they were in perfect harmony. Then he just played along with her
and let himself sink into the emotion  and rawness in her voice. It had
always been there under the surface when she sang, but with Knight in the
audience... he could almost feel the pain mixed in with her love.


(Natalie slowly let her fingers dance across the strings. She was happy that
Vachon had been just as adept with the acoustical as well as his electric
guitar. She hoped Nick would realize that this next song was mostly what she
thought his feelings were for her and the guilty image he held for himself.)


Would you know my name,
if I saw you in Heaven,
Would it be the same,
if I saw you in Heaven,


(She looked at him and let the emotion flow from within her heart.)


I must be strong,
and Carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong... Here in Heaven


(Nick leaned forward, laced his fingers together and placed his chin on top
of them for support. He was mesmerized again by her sweet voice and feeling
she injected into the words of the song. He watched her playing the short
musical piece between the verses and marveled at what a beautiful guitarist
she had become.)


Would you hold my hand,
if I saw you in Heaven,
Would you help me stand,
if I saw you in Heaven,

I'll find my way,
through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay... Here in Heaven


(Natalie knew he was understanding her interpretation of the words, the pain
he felt every day. She felt her voice drop lower and fill with a passion she
hadn't felt with this song until tonight.)


Time can bring you down,
time can bend your knees,
Time can break your heart,
have you begging please,
Begging pleeaassee..........


(She drew out the last word just the same as Clapton did. Her feelings making
it sound more heart-wrenching with each syllable.)

(Nick felt her words penetrating his soul. Somehow she had been able to
choose songs that meant exactly what he felt; yet they had been written about
people who had no connection to him. He wasn't sure he was going to be able
to make it through the final selection without breaking down into tears,
especially if it came as close to his heart as this one.)

(Natalie let a single tear slide down her cheek unheeded as she played the
musical chorus again. She let the next verse slip out in a whisper, with
earnestness and hope. Vachon silently strummed his own guitar beside her
wishing he had the same courage to tell Tracy how he felt, as Natalie was
doing tonight.)


Beyond the door,
there's peace I'm sure,
And I know they'll be no more... Tears in Heaven...


(Nick knew that the verse wasn't supposed to be from his point of view, but
from hers. She had more love and faith for the both of them, and she wasn't
willing to believe that a cure was out of reach.)


Would you know my name,
if I saw you in Heaven,
Would it be the same,
if I saw you in heaven,

I must be strong, 
and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong.... Here in Heaven

'Cause I know I don't belong.... Here in Heaven...

(Natalie played out the last strains of music. When the song enede, she wiped
away the tear with her hand and hoped the waterproof mascara was living up to
its' claim.)



Javier reached over and pulled the mike across to speak into it. "Well, okay
folks, this next song'll be the last of the night." Several people booed him
and threw rolled up napkins at the side of the stage he was sitting on.
Luckily, he knew it was all in fun. Every night they had played ended up in
just about the same place, only tonight was filled with more emotion than
before. It was definitely a crowd-pleaser, even if Natalie hadn't planned it
that way.



Natalie stood and handed the guitar back to Greg who returned from behind the
stage curtain. Normally she would play the instrument for the last song, but
having Nick there to see and share in her emotional turmoil had drained her
energy. She stood in front of the mike stand and re-adjusted it to her height
while Vachon played the beginning riffs to the song that meant more to her
than the other three. Her hand patted her hip slowly to the tune of the
music.


I must be invisible,
no one knows me,
I have crawled down dead end streets,
on my hands and knees,


(She looked him directly in the eyes as she sung the next lines. They were
more about his life after he came across.)


I was born with a raging thirst,
a hunger to be free,
But I've learned through the years...
don't encourage me


'Cause I'm a lonely stranger here,
well beyond my day,
When I don't know what's going on,
I'll be on my way...


(Nick sat up straight when he heard the words, what was she trying to tell
him? That it was time to move on? That she was the one who was leaving him?
He couldn't be sure so he waited to complete his thoughts until he could hear
more of the song. He had never heard the words before because Clapton hadn't
been a personal choice of Nick's. Classical music had always seemed to rule
the roost in his stereo selections.)


Yes I will,
(Sierra and Margee: I'll be on my way..)
Yes I will,
Yes I will, 
(Sierra and Margee: I'll be on my way..)


When I walk, stay behind,
don't get close to me,
'Cause it's sure to end in tears,
so just let me be,


Someone said that I'm no good,
maybe I agree,
Take a look, then walk away,
That's all right with me


(The realization of  the meaning behind the words became clear for Nick. It
wasn't Nat telling him goodbye... it was what she knew he was thinking. That
because of his past sins, someday he would have to leave her... better that
she accept it before the evil he perceived within himself  brought her pain
and suffering.)

'Cause I'm a lonely stranger here,
well beyond my day,
When I don't know what's going on,
I'll be on my way...


(Natalie's voice cracked a bit with emotion on the last line of the verse,
but it didn't matter. She could see that he knew what she was trying to tell
him, or at least he wanted to understand.)


Yes I will...
(Sierra and Margee: I'll be on my way..)
Yes I will...
(Sierra and Margee: I'll be on my way..)
Yes I will...
(Sierra and Margee: I'll be on my way..)
Yes I will...
(Sierra and Margee: I'll be on my way..)
Yes I will...
(Sierra and Margee: I'll be on my way..)



Natalie let herself sway in one spot as Javier played the long instrumental
ending. Her eyes closed against the encroaching applause. She knew Nick was
standing, leading the cheers. The curtain fell on them and she slowly opened
her eyes again. Javier was looking at her with wonder in his eyes.

"How do you do it, Natalie? How do you love one of my kind without coming
across?" He needed to know the answer to make him understand what Tracy saw
in him. How she could have feelings for a killer.

"Falling in love is easy, Vachon. Knowing how to live with that love and let
go when it's time is the hard part." Natalie knew Nick would be waiting for
her and she needed to see him. She needed to know what he was feeling right
now. She thanked the other two women and made her way to the dressing room.



Nick stood up from the couch when she came in, his cheeks were streaked with
blood tears. He crossed over to her and gathered her into his arms. His lips
lowered to hers and kissed her gently and pensively at first. After she
returned the kiss it became passionate and rushed. His hands roamed across
her bare back, taking in every inch of the smooth expanse. He pulled away
when he felt his fangs drop and graze her lip. He tasted only a drop of her
blood, but it was sweet and full of love for him. "I do love you, Nat, and
I'm not going anywhere."

She looked into his golden eyes and smiled while she tried to catch her
breath. A hand roamed up to brush her fingertips against one of his eyebrows.
"I know. I love you too and I won't stop looking for a cure as long as I'm
alive and can keep the faith. But I just wanted you to know that when you do
have to leave," He started to say something but she silenced him with a
finger on his lips. "When you leave, I want you to know that I'll love you
until the day I die...But, I'll survive. I'll be okay with it."

His eyes returned to blue and his fangs retracted. He leaned forward to lick
the small puncture wound on her lip until it healed. There wasn't any more
that could be said. Nothing that he could come up with that wasn't a lie. Not
only was Nat the most beautiful and compassionate mortal that he had ever
met, she was also the smartest. She knew how to protect herself from what
they both knew was coming in the future…. no matter how hard they fought it.
Unless she was able to come up with a cure, one day they would have to say
goodbye.

She untangled herself from his arms and scratched her head. "Remind me to
never use this much hair spray ever again." She hoped she knew what he was
thinking, and was glad that he accepted  the truth. Even if she lost him
sometime in the near future, she had him for today and that was enough for
her.... She hoped. "After I change out of this dress, you want to take me out
for something to eat?" 

He nodded. "Nat, thank you."

She reached out and squeezed his hand in hers. "That's what friends are for,
Nick. That's why God created the ability to love."

He squeezed her hand back and smiled devilishly. "Well, we will have to test
out that theory, Nat." She looked at him and blushed.  "I might eat a french
fry for you tonight, just to prove that there are no limits on my love for
you."

She smiled at him and giggled to herself.  

The End

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