The characters of Jonathan, Ruth Ann and Theressa Lambert were created by StormyNite in her stories, Power, A New Life, Everything is Subject to Change and The Second Chance.  They are embellished here only with StormyNite's gracious permission.  The story also roughly follows the timeline established in Everything is Subject to Change (See Part 6/16 however for a deviation from that story line).


	She looked around the room anxiously.  Her two best friends were there helping with the last minute details--those that would complete her transformation to wife and helpmate of the man she loved.
	
	For a moment she hesitated.  Was she doing the right thing?  Was she ready?  Would they share a life or create a burden for each other that would grow and fester until it drove them apart?  No!  They would share a life of love and commitment--faith in each other and in the future.  Of this she was quite sure.

	"Almost time," interrupted her maid of honor.  "The music has started.  We're with you, and we love you both."

	The bride waited while the two women started the processional from the anteroom to the vestibule.  Then she began her slow and methodical walk to the future that awaited her.

	 The room was filled with their dearest friends, all smiles and anticipation.  Most had found the early evening ceremony a little unusual, but perhaps not so unusual for this unconventional couple after all.  The bride and groom explained that a candlelight wedding was exactly what they wanted, and no one dared to disagree.  

	The bridesmaid entered first, tall and serene, and seemed to float down the aisle, lovely in a pale peach gown with a small bouquet of roses.  Her smile was infectious, especially when she looked down to the makeshift altar and saw the groom waiting nervously.

	The maid of honor was next.  First she spied her husband, the best man, shifting his weight from foot to foot, whispering in the groom's ear.  Although smiling, she shot him a quick, ‘Stand still and don't embarrass us' look, eliciting an immediate response from him.  When he looked over at his wife, he seemed to see her for the first time all over again.  ‘Through the years she has been a saint,' he thought.  What had he ever done to deserve her?  He resolved to remind her how much she meant to him this night, and all the rest of the nights they would share.

	All eyes turned to the bride.  She hesitated a second or two before entering the chapel,  drinking in the candlelight and flowers, the fragrance and spirit of the room.  Her gown was simple but elegant, form-fitting satin with a gently flowing skirt.  Over this, she wore a full cape with a hood instead of a veil.  It gave her the look of a woman from another time, a time of chivalry and passion.

	As she started down the aisle, the candlelight granted a soft glow to her attire, reminding the groom more of angel than of flesh.  He looked at her with pride and anticipation as his nerves finally began to settle down.  How could it have happened, this impossible love they had discovered together?  They met at work and began working on the same project.  Gradually their friendship blossomed, until one day he looked at her and saw something else: love and desire.  He had not wanted to become involved.  His work was too important, and he feared his obsession would never allow him to love as other men could.  His bride, however, had other ideas.  Her faith in him was constant, never wavering through all their ups and downs.  Finally, he declared his love and need for her.  He remembered vividly the awful minutes that passed as she considered his declaration of love.  He would not have been surprised if she had turned and left.  Other men could offer her more, but would other men ever love her as he did?  No, he told her, no, they would not.  She had smiled knowingly and said simply, "I love you.  I have loved you since we first met.  I will love you always.  Now we two will be one."

	In that moment of joy a road had opened before them--the road that would lead them to the rest of their lives, together in love and in faith.  Today was the formal profession of that faith before their friends and before God.  As she glided to his side, her eyes were again filled with love for him.  He prayed a silent prayer that he would always deserve her love and vowed to return it to her tenfold.

	As the minister began the ceremony, the bride and groom barely heard the words, only the beating of their hearts.  And then a moment of silence.  "As today is the first day of the New Year and the new decade of the 1960's, may this couple, joined together at this auspicious time, have a future as bright and full of hope as humanly possible.  I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss the bride."  He delicately touched the hood of her cape and slipped it down to her shoulders.  Looking at her beautiful face, he kissed her lips lightly, and then a second time, more deeply.

	Turning to face their friends, they clasped hands and began to walk down the aisle.  He whispered softly so that only she could hear, "I love you, Ruth Ann."

	"I love you, too, Jonathan Lambert," she responded, "and I'll love you forever."

END PART 1 (Mary Lou Manzie, email: manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)
*********************************************
Part 02/16       See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimer

	As he turned the wheel of the motorcycle into the long, winding gravel drive, keeping it upright with some difficulty, Nick thought about the first time he had come to Maine.------------  It had been almost fifteen years ago, and he was fulfilling a promise made to a soldier who had died in his arms.  

	It was just after the last war in Europe.  He held the soldier in his arms as his life's spirit slipped away.  The soldier made the medic promise to take a message to his young bride.  Nick was honoring the promise.

	The soldier, Brian Holt, was an American who had somehow dragged himself to French lines during some unnamed battle to reclaim France.  Nick had left the French Resistance after executing a member of his Resistance team he had mistaken for a spy, and was now working as a medic easing the pain and saving the lives of French soldiers and civilians alike.  What he saw at first did not look like a human being, no, more a wounded animal, frightened and alone.  Nick dodged German bullets overhead while he crawled to the soldier.  "Tell me, sir, will I live?" cried the soldier.

	"You are badly injured, but I will do my best," Nick responded.  Attempting to remove the dirt-encrusted clothing from the wound, Nick discovered that the soldier had suffered a severe chest wound, apparently due to a grenade.   He looked down at Brian's eyes with sympathy and considered his fate.  Should he offer?  For a moment the bloodlust rose in his brain, and the vampire fought to take advantage of the soldier's plight.  ‘No, no!' screamed Nick to himself, ‘this is not the way; no, this was not the way.'

	"I'm not afraid of dying, Doc," the soldier whispered, "but I'm just married and I promised my bride I'd be back.  I don't know how she'll ever be able to handle this.  We've only just begun to know each other, and she's expecting our baby soon.  How I'd love to hold that child and tell him or her how proud I am to be their pa."  

	Nick considered this simple man's wish.  Hearing the soldier's heartbeat waning, Nick asked quickly, "What do you want me to do?"

	"Would you go to her after the war and tell her how I passed?  Hold our child and say how much I love him.  Give her the peace to know I didn't die alone, Doc.  That's what'll help me on my way.  And tell her we'll be together again.  I promise."  Brian's eyes closed as speaking quickened his slide toward unconsciousness.

	"Yes, I'll do it.  Where is she?" Nick asked.


	With great effort, Brian opened his eyes and looked directly at Nick, "We live in God's country in Maine.  I'm a logger.  We have a home near Coplin Plantation--that's in the area of Stratton.  It's a far piece to go, Doc.  Are you sure?" he practically pleaded, gasping for air.

	"I'm sure," Nick said.  "Now just rest."  Continuing to hold the American in his arms, Nick felt the final breath pass the soldier's lips; then he was gone.  A loneliness fell over the scene.  Nick thought of this man and his wife and child.  A family now separated forever.  How many times had he had to leave mortals he had liked and loved?  This was something he would do.  It had been some time since he had been to America, but this he would do.

	The soldier died in 1944 and was buried in France.  It was not until 1946 that Nick was able to make arrangements to visit Mrs. Holt.  The area did not have much in the way of traveler's comforts, so Nick had to badger Aristotle to help him find a place to stay for a few days. 

	Once arranged, Nick set out for Boston and then to Maine.  He remembered his first glimpse of the state--wild and beautiful, forest and sea, mountains and valleys as far as anyone could imagine.  He contacted Mrs. Holt through the local sheriff's office and made arrangements to visit her the next evening.  In the meanwhile he stayed at cabin owned by Aristotle's friend.  It was nestled among the tall pines and a few paces from a small lake.  There was no electricity, but kerosene lamps lighted the place.  With it's location among the dense trees, little daylight penetrated the cabin, so a few well-placed blankets kept the sun at bay.

	After sunset, Nick drove to Mrs. Holt's home.  A small fire and soft lighting greeted him, along with the joyous sounds of a two year old using a kitchen pot as a percussion instrument.  

	"Excuse him, please, Doctor," she began.  "We don't get many visitors, and he's been excited that you're here to see us."

	Nick was overwhelmed at her kindness and warmth.  He sat down at the kitchen table with her, graciously declining the tea and coffee she offered.  Glancing around the room, he noticed an ancient cookstove and ice box gracing one corner, balanced by a well worn countertop sporting all the ingredients to make an apple pie.   The room was neat and filled with the spirit of hearth and home Nick had not known in many centuries.  

	Returning to his task, Nick began to tell her about Brian and their few moments together.  She sat mesmerized at his gentle words and manner.  When he finally finished, he said, "It was Brian's request that I tell you that he did not die alone."  He paused and gathered his words carefully.  "He also wanted you to know that he promised you will be together with him again.  He wanted me to tell your child how proud he was to be his father."  Nick looked down at Brian, Jr., still pounding away on the make-believe drum.

	The child stopped as he felt Nick's eyes on him.  Laughing, he got up and climbed into Nick's lap.  Nick smiled and started, "Little one, your father was a brave soldier trying to help other people.  He was proud and glad to be your father, and he asked me to bring you these."  Nick pulled Brian Holt's dogtags from his pocket and placed them lovingly in the child's hands.  "Don't ever forget who your Dad was or what he was trying to do when he died.  He loved you and your Mom very much."

	Mrs. Holt saw Nick quickly look away; blood tears had begun to well up in his eyes.  Although she knew it was an emotional moment for them both, she wondered out loud about her husband's messenger. "Doctor, my husband and I were happy together.  I'll always miss him, but I have Brian, Jr. to help me remember our love for each other.  Do you have anyone?"

	Nick regained his composure.  "My life is complicated, ma'am.  I guess I've been too busy to give love a thought."

	"I don't think so, sir.  I think maybe my Brian came to you not only for my sake but for yours as well.  You might think with so few people living here, we'd get lonely.  But Brian was always doing for other folks--you know, giving them a helping hand with chores, taking a little extra wood to the widow down the way.  He always was thinking of other people.

	"Maybe he was thinking of you, too," she continued.  "Look around this place.  There is peace here.  Surely you've felt it.  Why don't you stay awhile and take some time to consider where you've been and where you're going?  You're over at the Johnson's old cabin, aren't you?  They sold it some time ago to an out-of-stater, New York, I think.  Anyway, nobody ever goes over there.  I'd be pleased to have you take supper with us.  What do you say?"

	Nick rushed to say no, but the words just wouldn't come out.  "I.....I guess I'd like that, Mrs. Holt.  I can stay for a few days, anyway.  Thank you.  I'd like to spend some more time with Brian, Jr."

	"Then stay you will, and it's Angela," she replied.   


	Nick walked the quiet trails around the cabin every night.  The lush foliage permeated the entire area with it's perfume of pine and wild flowers even at the evening's darkest hour.  The stillness hung like a veil, moving ever so slightly with the sound of wildlife going about life's tasks.  She was right.  There WAS peace here.  A peace he needed and desired as he considered his last lifetime and the next.

END PART 02/16         (Mary Lou Manzie, email: manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)
********************************

All I Need, Part 03/16                 See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimer


	That had been fifteen years ago.  He had managed to convince Aristotle to pressure his friend to sell him the Johnson cabin.  Although he did not visit every year, just knowing it was there was comforting.  The people of the area were independent and never bothered to ask questions of the occasional visitor.  They gave him his privacy.  Now it was 1960, and he desperately needed to find peace in the north woods again.  It was time to end an old life and begin a new one.  Nick told himself this should be getting easier, but he knew it was not.


	After taking a leisurely walk around the lake, Nick returned to the cabin just before dawn,  checked the sun-blocking blankets for the second time, then went to bed.  He slept fitfully at first and woke five or six times to discover he was still at the cabin.  When he finally drifted off, there was blissful nothingness for the longest time.

	Then came that voice, or was it the wind?  It whispered something, but he could not make out the words.  A melody or a dirge?  "Brother!" the voice said again.  "Brother, awaken and hear me."
	
	Nick shook his head and opened his eyes slowly.  Before him stood a figure--familiar but distant. Nick looked up to gaze at the face and could not quite place it.  Who was he?  What was he?  As his eyes again focused, Nick thought he recognized the figure, but he was not of this time and place but another long ago time and almost forgotten place.

	"Brother," the figure repeated.

	"Who are you and what do you want?" Nick responded sternly.

	"Look at me, brother, and tell me yourself.  Or do you not remember?" the figure laughed.

	Considering the figure again, Nick's eyes opened wide.  He stood tall and straight with an almost regal bearing.  His clothes were those of the crusaders:  the crimson red and lily white cross adorning a hauberk shirt that came to his knees, allowing only his leggings to show, the mail gloves covering his strong hands.  At his side was the sword of Brabant, long and straight, reflecting some imaginary sunbeam and catching the light in the blood-red garnet that was the jewel of the sword.  "You are wearing my crusader garb, but your face is so, well, so...I don't know," Nick sputtered.

	"So alive, so filled with sunlight, brother?" the figure continued.  "I am you when you still had faith in your God and in yourself, dear Nicholas, and before the darkness overtook your soul.  I am what you lost when you allowed the monster to dwell in your soul."

	"I have no soul and I have no God," shouted Nick in anger.  "I lost them both many lifetimes ago.  The Crusades were my quest for salvation and purity.  What I found instead was treachery.  The spice of the East was infamy not salvation. What God would call for the slaughter of innocents, women and children, along with defeated soldiers?   No, for me darkness was like an old friend."

	Nick paused, slightly surprised at his own vehemence. "But it is true that for the past three hundred years I have hated what I am, because there is no peace in the darkness either.  I have been trying to find a way to atone," Nick said.

	"Ah, but do I not know that better than you, brother dear?  I am the light that you lost.  You have a soul, but it has been smothered in darkness since that night so long ago.  I am the part of your soul that was spared the darkness, and it is only now that I have been allowed to come to you with guidance.  God has seen your struggle, and He makes you a promise," the apparition whispered.

	"I told you, I lost my soul and I lost my God who cast me out," cried Nick.  "I live these many lives not knowing what to do or how to begin to confront the demon."  Nick closed his eyes.

	"God's promise to you is this: He has not lost faith in you even though you have lost faith in Him," continued the figure.  "Your next life can begin a new path to forgiveness.  He has seen your futile attempt to embrace the demon through the ages, and He knows that your soul can never rest as long as the demon is your master.  Begin again to atone for the lives you have taken, either by your own hand or that of your neglect.  Work to save humanity, one person at a time.  The work will seem insurmountable, and you will often stumble and fall back into despair, but I will be allowed to join you once again if you have faith.  Together we will conquer the beast and walk once more in the light," the figure finished.

	"But how is it possible after so many years?" Nick pleaded, not daring to think for even one moment that such a thing could happen.

	"I will be out there in the mortal world, not entirely alone but with another soul.  You will not recognize me, but you must never stop looking or continuing your quest to rejoin humanity.  It is worth it, brother, for if you have faith and love, all things are possible," he concluded, his presence starting to fade.

	"But stay, brother, stay and comfort me," Nick whimpered.  A burst of light fell at the foot of the bed and Nick jumped up quickly.  He was covered in blood from perspiration, and realized one of the blankets had fallen from the bedroom window, allowing a shaft of light to penetrate the cabin.  Moving with vampire speed, Nick reattached the blanket and sat back down on the bed.  It was a dream, it had to be, for how could he dare to think it was a message?

	He was exhausted and returned to the nothingness of sleep.


	Several days later, he was ready to contact Aristotle.  This time he would take a more active role in his destiny.  Telling Aristotle of his desire, he set out for Chicago to begin his next life as a police officer.

END PART 03/16                Mary Lou Manzie (email: manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)
*************************************

All I Need, by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 04/16                See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimer

	The day began as the others before it, but Ruth Ann wondered out loud if this would finally be the day her child was born.  The pains she experienced the night before had finally subsided, and she had actually gotten a little sleep.  She hurried to prepare breakfast for Jonathan, who would be on his way to the lab soon.  He did not want to go, but she assured him she would be fine, and that she would call if anything happened.  Besides, her mother was visiting to help her with the new baby.

	As she sat down to pour herself a glass of orange juice, her thoughts flew back to their wedding day.  How wonderful their life had been since that January 1st at the interfaith chapel at McGill University.  They continued their work at the lab together, even after her visit to the doctor which confirmed her suspicions that she was pregnant.  They bought a little house in Montreal on Dorchester Street, near the lab, but in a family-filled neighborhood.  Their lives were full of love and peace as well as excitement now that the baby's birth was imminent.  

	Ruth Ann wondered whether she would have a son or daughter.  "As long as it is healthy...," she prayed.  She knew this child was conceived in love and that was the best start parents could ever give.  As she rose to get the toast, her water broke and she gasped.  "Jonathan!  It's time," she cried.

	Jonathan jumped from the shower, draped himself with a towel and ran to her side.  "We'll be off in two minutes, my love," he shouted.  Dressing quickly but forgetting to button his shirt, he leaped down the hallway pulling on his shoes and dangling the car keys in his mouth.  He grabbed the overnight bag they had packed weeks ago and gathered his wife into the car.  Moments later they arrived at the hospital.

	The hospital staff quickly took over, and Jonathan was ushered into the Waiting Room.  Boy-oh-boy, did it ever look like a waiting room.  Old magazines were mingled with the smell of stale cigarettes and coffee--not the kind of welcome he had in mind for his child!  As the hours dragged on, Jonathan thought over and over about Ruth Ann and how much he loved her.  Would motherhood change her?  ‘No,' he thought, ‘she has enough love for me and our baby--that's the kind of person she is.  And she is my best friend.'  How many marriages had he seen where the partners quickly became enemies?  This would not happen to them.

	Jonathan paced, read, dozed and generally waited for an eternity.  He dared not leave the room lest he miss the nurse's call.  Eighteen hours later, the nurse stepped into the waiting room and eight pairs of bleary eyes looked at her in solemn anticipation.  "Mr. Lambert, you have a daughter," she said.

	"When can I see my wife?  Is she all right, nurse?" he questioned.

	"She's doing just fine, Mr. Lambert.  Come with me," came the reply.

	Jonathan stepped softly into the room and looked over at Ruth Ann.  She was holding a small bundle in a pink blanket.  "Come here, Dad," she commanded.  "Do you believe we made this little being?" she asked.

	"She has your eyes and my nose, my dear," Jonathan stated studiously.  "And she's beautiful, just like you."  He glowed with pride in them both.  "What shall we call her?"

	"I thought Natalie as a first name.  What do you think?" she questioned.

	"I think it's lovely, my dear.  What about a middle name?" he asked.

	"Natalie Jean Lambert!  Has a nice ring, eh?  She is our gift from God, Jonathan, born in love and bound to bring that love to the world!" beamed Ruth Ann.

	"Natalie Jean it is, love.  And I agree, this little bundle of love will make a difference in many lives including ours.  Mark my words, June 24th, 1962 is an auspicious beginning," Jonathan burst out loud with unbridled affection for his daughter just entering the world.

***********************************

	Nick was ready to leave his apartment and check into the precinct for night duty at the Chicago PD.  He had joined the force six months earlier, but had just returned from extra police academy training.  He learned an important lesson.  Even when you have lived for almost eight hundred years, you do not know everything.  He had made a costly rookie mistake that had almost claimed his veteran partner's life.  His vampire skills had settled the error, but he declined more duty until he had undertaken formal training in "American" police work.  Tonight was his first shift after completing the training.

	Something felt right about law enforcement.  He knew his increased hearing and night vision would serve him well, bringing wrongdoers to justice.  Funny, wasn't it?  Would he ever find justice for those HE had wronged?

	Suddenly he felt his knees give out, and he started to fall but caught the edge of the sofa just in time.  Easing himself into a sitting position, he embraced a feeling he did not remember ever having had before.  He closed his eyes and saw a sunrise, bright with orange and yellow, beaming back at him.  What was this?  He'd had dreams before, but never of sunrises.  He regained his composure and reached for a bottle of bloodwine in the fridge.  ‘Better steel yourself, Nick, something truly strange is going on,' he thought.  As the cow's blood floated down his throat, the vision returned only to disappear as quickly as it had appeared.

	He managed to make it to the precinct on time.  Looking up at the desk sergeant, he began, "Ready for duty, Sergeant."

	"Okay, Officer Knight, it seems like June 24th, 1962 is the day you begin again," the sergeant smiled.

	"I certainly hope so, Sergeant.  I've waited a long time for this," Nick replied.

END PART 04/16            Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)

*************************
All I Need by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 05/16                  See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimer

	Natalie was eleven in 1973, the eldest of three children born to Jonathan and Ruth Ann Lambert.  Bright and active, some considered her a tomboy, but her bright eyes, auburn hair and mischievous smile left no doubt she was all girl.  Despite her tender years, she was always protective of her younger siblings, Richard and Theressa.  She had known only love in her life.

	Ruth Ann stayed at home after Richard was born, believing she needed to give her children all of her attention.  After having been assigned to a joint Canadian/US team whose goal it was to develop telescopes for NASA to use in conjunction with the long-planned space shuttle program,  Jonathan continued to work at the lab, but made every effort to be home for the family dinner to hear his wife and children recount their daily adventures.  How he loved them.  Glancing from face to face, he wondered how he could have been blessed with such a family.

	Before meeting Ruth Ann, he had been a loner, working long hours in the lab on other space related projects which had already taken their toll on lesser men.  He thought he would be another in the long assembly line of scientists giving their lives to the work, with little hope of ever seeing tangible results, but fearful of giving up the quest and the security of its routine.  Then Jonathan met Ruth Ann, a scientist who shared his love for the work, but a woman of passion and light who believed in him.  Their marriage had proven to be a balm to his soul.  It allowed him to enjoy the work even more, but also to save time to oversee and enjoy his family.

	He decided to walk to work that day.  It was a bright and beautiful July in Montreal.  After his usual eight hour shift, he packed up his briefcase and started home.  Children were playing and riding bicycles in the neighborhood as he approached the intersection.  He watched a youngster of six or seven start out from the family's driveway on a two-wheeler.  She struggled to control the handlebars and the tires wobbled, refusing to submit to her.  As she got to the end of the driveway, she did not stop, but continued into the street, still trying to master control of the bike.  Jonathan smiled as he thought of his own Natalie's and Richard's struggles to learn how to ride.

	Suddenly the rider looked past Jonathan in a panic.  Jonathan barely had time to glance behind him as he saw an automobile barreling down the street at high speed, barely missing trees and children.  ‘No time,' he thought as he cast the briefcase down and ran toward the girl.  His hands barely grabbed the child's shoulder as he pulled her body off the bicycle and threw her towards the lawn to safety.  With this motion his own body swung directly into the path of the car.  As he saw her hit the grass with a thud, his last thoughts were of his own sweet children.


	Natalie never forgot that day: how a police officer's words had taken her Daddy away.  There were tears, words of sympathy and kindness, but somehow she realized part of her life was over, a very sweet and innocent part.  She was her mother's strength and comfort during that time, attentive to her brother and sister, reassuring them and promising them there would be better times.  But who would comfort her?  Childhood was suddenly over.  She knew it, but did not know how to grieve.

	As the men slowly and methodically lowered Jonathan's casket into the ground, Natalie looked at the flowers, the muted clothing of the mourners and the tears in her mother's eyes.  A darkness seemed to settle over them all.  As she closed her eyes to seal in the scene, she heard her father's voice.  "Natalie, always remember that you were born in love and bound to bring love into the world.  You are my special angel, and I know you will always make me proud of you.  With love and faith, all things are possible."

	"I will remember, Daddy, I will," she whispered under her breath.

****************************

	July 1973 found Nick in Helsinki, Finland.  As Nick Parker, he had spent the last two years working for the International Committee of the Red Cross as a medic in Vietnam.  The experience had heightened his sense of shame for all of the beings of earth--mortal and vampire alike.  The sense of shame for the mortals because of their inhumanity to each other in a war where everyone was a victim, and justice never won out. For the vampires, it was because war was one more chance for opportunistic feeding without  remorse.  But then he was the only vampire who ever felt remorse for killing, according to LaCroix.

	He was still associated with the I.C.R.C. when his medical unit was asked to send an observer to the United Nations Conference on Security and Co-Operation in Europe.  The conference of eastern and western European countries, along with Turkey, the U.S.S.R. and the United States, was to open in Helsinki in July, 1973.  

	It would be more of a vacation than work, and Nick needed a vacation.  The time he spent in Vietnam had tested both his ability to control the bloodlust and his determination to rejoin humanity as a mortal.  He remembered the blood, the suffering, the destruction of the country and the culture--but then, that was the definition of war.  Throughout almost eight hundred years, the definition had seldom changed.  Humanity never seemed to move past it, despite all the so-called advances in science and technology.

	Here in Helsinki, there was a chance to rest a little, to consider his situation before moving on to another life, and to see if mortals could accomplish peace among themselves while testing a common will and determination.  

	In his role as I.C.R.C. observer, Nick had only to attend a few meetings of his choice and report the mood and tempo of the proceedings, especially those during the opening ceremonies.  Finlandia Hall, designed by architect Alvar Aalto and just completed in 1971, was the site of many of the opening meetings.  As he approached the modern, gleaming white building with its shining  marble facade, he wondered at this soaring monument to man's soul and humanity when he had so recently returned from Vietnam, a monument to man's inhumanity.  The main entrance faced Mannerheimin tie, one of the primary streets in Helsinki, but he was immediately drawn to the other side of the building which showcased an exquisite view of Toolonlahti Bay.  Going inside to pick up his credentials, he marveled at the simple and graceful interior, a marriage of form and function.

	The first few days heightened Nick's senses, as an air of anticipation from the delegates filled the building.  The Congress Halls, committee rooms and technical rooms all echoed with the sound of at least twenty different languages, most of which were familiar to him.  Nick smiled to himself when he considered that he was able to understand not only most of the primary speeches and reports, but also the little off-hand remarks and retorts of the participants as he walked among the delegates and their aides.

	After judiciously but graciously declining several daytime invitations from various delegations, Nick returned to his room at the Hesperia Hotel as the night began to wane.  He adjusted the blinds of his north-facing windows and attached the "Do Not Disturb" sign to the outside of the door.  Then he slipped into bed and, for the first time in months, an easy sleep.  Dreams do not always accompany the sleep of vampires, and today none haunted his.

	He awoke with a start around 6 o'clock in the evening.  Glancing over at the clock beside his bed, he realized he still had three hours before the 9 o'clock delegate briefing he planned to attend.  He decided to settle back to sleep for just a little while longer.

	As his mind began to drift, he became aware of a presence.  Nick opened his eyes to inventory the room and found he was still alone.  Closing his eyes, he discovered that the presence was inside him.  It was a sense, no, an emotion, that he felt.  Rather than fighting it, he tried to embrace it.  He could almost taste it now as he gradually grew accustomed to the sensation.

	Nick allowed his mind to reach out to the emotion.  It was well known to him:  grief.  However, this was not the same grief that had walked with him after the kills of his past.  No, this was  different.  He felt a longing for security and an innocence lost as he continued to allow the emotion to envelope his consciousness.

	Slowly, oh so slowly, the grief gradually receded, just enough to allow another sensation to take hold: strength.  Nick felt it course through his mind, chasing the grief, but never quite overtaking it.

	As he opened his eyes, Nick saw that the clock read 8 o'clock.  Two hours?  Where had the time gone?  Trying to raise himself from the bed, Nick suddenly experienced a wave of sadness which resulted in blood tears cascading down his face.  It was a long time before he could compose himself.  Struggling to the bath, he turned the shower controls on, barely remembering to remove his pajamas before allowing the warm water to massage his skin.  Long minutes continued until Nick regained control, and no longer felt the pressure of foreign emotions throughout his body and mind.

	Exiting the shower and grabbing a robe, he headed immediately to the bottles of bloodwine he carried with him.  One bottle, two--as the third bottle was raised to his lips, he stopped.  He reasoned that the emotions he had felt were not his own.  The only links  known to him were those he shared with LaCroix and Janette.  Grief was in neither's vocabulary.

	Nick finally dressed and left the hotel, heading back to Finlandia Hall for the delegate briefing.  As the cool night air assailed his face, Nick somehow knew he would experience this kind of linked emotion in the future.  But from whom, he dared not guess.

END PART 05/16       Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)


*******************************
ALL I NEED   by Mary Lou Manzie

SPECIAL NOTE: The events that follow are a deviation from the storyline established by StormyNite in her story, Everything is Subject to Change.

PART 06/16                   See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimer

	Jonathan Lambert had been the sole financial support of his family.  After his death, Ruth Ann's only choice was to return to work.  Fortunately, Jonathan's team at the laboratory found a position for Ruth Ann.  Although not paying a salary equal to Jonathan's, Ruth Ann's job allowed for advancement commensurate with her performance.  Her mother had also agreed to move in and watch the children so that Ruth Ann could put in a full day's work.  Never quite the same without her husband, Ruth Ann still managed to provide and care for her children, and be home for dinner every night to hear them recount their daily adventures, just as Jonathan had done.

	As the years moved on and the children grew, Ruth Ann could see that each would make an indelible mark on the world.  Richard was leaning toward the study of law; he had his father's sense of justice and compassion.  Theressa, although the youngest, already had the makings of an artist with her free spirit and creative nature.  Natalie's interest seemed to be moving toward the study of medicine.  Nearly finished with high school, she had already begun to seek out universities where her good grades would help her win an academic scholarship.  

	Ruth Ann smiled as she thought about how proud Jonathan would be of his elder daughter.  Natalie was an adult in a teenager's body.  Since her father's death, she had provided the glue that had kept the family together.  She was always helping her brother and sister, and never failed to make certain her mother got enough rest and was eating properly.  How could such determination and compassion be encased in one so young?  Natalie was always so involved taking care of others that Ruth Ann wondered whom Natalie would ever allow to be close to her, to comfort her and to be her strength.  It would take an extraordinary and strong person.  But who?  Sometimes the thought frightened her.


*********************************

	In the late fall of 1979, tragedy again struck the Lamberts.  Fire engulfed the house on Dorchester Street just as morning approached.  Theressa was awakened by the smell of smoke and the sounds of her mother screaming to rouse the children.  Natalie sped out of her room, first to Theressa's room and then to Richard's.  She placed her sister in Richard's waiting arms and ordered him to get out with the child.  In the hallway, she met her mother who seemed even more panicked than she.  "Mom, you have to get out!  Follow Richard down the stairs.  He has Theressa.  I'll get Nana!" Natalie cried at the top of her lungs.

	Natalie bolted through the door and found her grandmother clutching her rosary and mumbling prayers.  Natalie practically threw her towards the door, as she tried to find slippers or shoes to protect the old woman's feet.  Reaching frantically under the bed, her hands found some slippers, and she joined Nana.  Natalie covered her grandmother with a robe as she led her down the hallway to the stairs and out the front door to safety.

	As Natalie's eyes met Richard's, she assumed they all were safe.  Then fear gripped her, as she looked around for their mother and shouted at Richard, "Where's Mom?"

	"I thought she was with you and Nana."  He looked down at her, not daring to release Theressa from his embrace.

	"No, no! I told her to follow you," Natalie wailed, almost as if saying the words aloud would make it happen. 

	"I've got to go back!" she cried.  Not allowing her eyes to meet his, she turned and ran back to the house.

	"You can't, you'll never get out!"  Richard yelled after her.

	Natalie could no longer see the upstairs from the front door, and she hesitated, closing her eyes and praying for courage.  It came to her like a jolt of adrenaline.  It was a man's voice she heard.  //She's in the living room.  She lost her way going down the stairs.  Hurry, she's unconscious.// Then the voice stopped.

	For some reason completely unknown to her, Natalie trusted the voice and moved directly to the living room.  She could almost make out her mother's blue bathrobe.  Reaching down, she found her mother had collapsed alongside the sofa.  She tapped reserves of strength she did not know she had and lifted her mother to a standing position.  With great difficulty, she supported Ruth Ann's upper body with her own and guided her out the door.  

	It was not until she was outside that Natalie realized how her lungs and eyes burned.  She fought to stay conscious as she saw a firefighter rushing to her side.  She thought she heard him call for a paramedic as her mind drifted away from the scene.

	Two months after the fire, Natalie had recovered physically, but Ruth Ann lost the fight for her life.  She had sustained severe smoke inhalation and burns, finally succumbing to pneumonia. 

*************************************

	In 1980, Richard began to study law at McGill, and Natalie accepted a full scholarship at Berkeley to study pre-med.  She was determined to take Theressa with her, not trusting the youngster's care to anyone else.  The three Lambert children met at the site of their childhood home on Dorchester Street for one last time before Natalie and Theressa drove to the States.

	"Don't worry, Richard, we'll be fine," assured Natalie.  She kept her voice strong and confident for him.  "I've rented an apartment for us, and the University has promised to help me find a job.  We'll use some of the insurance money if things get tight, but we'll be fine.  I promise."

	Richard looked into her eyes.  "You've always been the strong one, Nat.  I don't doubt you.  I'm just not sure how I'll be without the two of you."  His voice faltered.

	"You will study the law and look after things here, just as Mom and Dad would have wanted," she whispered.  "I have confidence in you, and I love you.  We'll be back in Montreal for the holidays.  The idea of a snowless Christmas doesn't set well with me!" she joked, trying to buoy his spirit.


	Many times during the long car trip westward through Canada, then southward through the United States, Natalie wondered if she was up to the task of full-time student and surrogate mother.  Something always touched her when she had these doubts:  something soothing and reassuring deep inside her that seemed to say, ‘There is something over the next horizon that is worth your effort.  Do not look back.  Only look forward.'  

*************************	

	Nick looked up from his table at Mugar Library.  At least twenty-six books stacked high on the table protected him from any outside disturbance. He was reviewing Boston University's collection of reference books on the Middle Ages before assigning the final term paper to his class on European Life in the Thirteenth Century.

	Teaching had always appealed to him.  Nick had lived through what most  people would consider ancient history.  That gave him a bond with the past which he was able to share with his students.  He made it come alive for them.  His classes at B. U. were always filled to capacity, and he felt he was opening a link between past and present.

	Nick stared across the Charles River to the lights of Cambridge.  Autumn was a magical time in Boston.  Lengthening nights could not hide the vibrant color produced by changing leaves.  Nick closed his eyes before returning to the work at hand.

	Fire!!  He saw it.  He smelled it.  Nick's eyes snapped open, surveying the room.  Nothing.  He closed his eyes for a second time and experienced it again.  Panic crept into his spine and radiated through his torso and legs.  It was so real.  Then he realized the panic belonged not to him, but another.  He was experiencing it through someone else.  He saw smoke enveloping a house, a young man holding a child, the utter confusion of it all.


	Nick felt the frightened heart as emotions raced through him.  Then he tasted the fear.  Pushing himself into the scene, he saw a woman in a bathrobe lying on the first floor of the house.  She was not moving; she was injured, maybe dead.  Through sheer will, he concentrated on the link, opening his view of the injured woman to the unknown recipient outside the burning house.
	
	//Go to her,// he thought. //She's in the living room.  She lost her way going down the stairs.  Hurry, she's unconscious!//  Through force of will, he sent courage to the other side.

	Not wanting to lose the link, Nick held his eyes tightly closed for what seemed like several minutes.  Then the link severed abruptly, like the snap of a rubber band being stretched too far.  He opened his eyes.  Mugar Library, the Charles River, Cambridge, twenty-six books, his briefcase.  Nothing was out of place.

	It was several minutes before Nick tried to get up from the table.  When he finally gathered his notes and returned the books for filing, Nick's mind drifted to the Hesperia Hotel in Helsinki in 1973: the last time he experienced a link.  This time the images were more clear.  He was seeing through someone else's eyes and feeling through someone else's heart. As before, he dared not speculate about the source.

END PART 06/16       Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)
*************************************

ALL I NEED   by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 07/16           See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimers

	Nick gathered his mail from the postbox, discarding fliers and ads for carpet cleaning, a miracle cure for wet basements and a dog grooming service.  His eyes settled on a letter with a ‘Coplin Plantation, ME' return address.  Ripping the envelope open, he began to read the now familiar script:

						October 17, 1988

	Dear Uncle Nick:

	Mama's been very ill.  We've been keeping her comfortable, but
	you remember she's had a heart condition for some time.  The doc
	doesn't give her much more time.  Today she told me to contact
	you and ask if she could see you one more time.





	I'll understand if you can't, but if you can see your way clear, I'll
	have everything ready.

					Respectfully,

					Brian


	Nick's face clouded over with sadness as he remembered Angela and Brian, Jr., her kindness to him and the welcome feeling he had always received when he returned to the cabin.  Now she was dying, and he vowed to honor her request, just as he had honored her husband's almost forty-five years earlier.

	Nick arrived two days later in the early evening hours and proceeded immediately to Angela's house.  It was exactly as he remembered it: bathed in warmth, cozy and comfortable.  He approached the front door and raised his hand to knock, but the door swung open wide to reveal Brian.  "Uncle Nick!" he exclaimed.  "I knew you'd make it.  Come in!"

	Nick entered, somewhat cautiously surveying the room to see if there was anyone there who might demand an explanation why a forty-four year old man with a salt and pepper hair would be calling a man who appeared to be at least ten years his junior, ‘uncle.'  Seeing no one, he responded, "How is she, Brian?  How are you?"

	"She's slipping, I'm afraid.  The rest of the family's been here visiting today.  I sent them all home about two hours ago.  She's been asking for you.  I think she's holding on to tell you something," he answered, his voice faltering.  "I'll take you in to see her now."

	Nick unsuccessfully tried to steel himself from his emotions as he entered Angela's bedroom.  She appeared to be asleep, her glasses pushed up in her hair.  A small lamp at her bedside cast a glow on her face.  Nick considered how the face had changed since he had first seen her in 1946.  Oh, yes she was older now, her hair gray and wrinkles abound.  But the gentleness remained.  Angela's eyes fluttered open as she tried to focus. "Nicholas?  Oh, Nicholas, you came!" she said, her voice barely a whisper. "Come here and sit next to me!"

	"Hello, Angela.  I'm so glad to see you," Nick practically stammered as he put on as cheerful a face as he could muster.  He moved over to her as Brian pulled a chair near the bed for Nick to sit.  Nick took her left hand delicately in his, kissed it and continued to hold it.

	"You are always a gentleman, Nicholas, and you always make me feel like a lady," she responded with a smile that lit up her entire countenance.  Looking up at Brian with affection, she said, "Will you leave us for a while, son?  I'll be fine!"

	"Sure," Brian replied.  As he turned to leave the room, he looked back at her and said, "I love you, Mama."  

	Nick followed Brian's gaze to Angela whose eyes shone with love and affection for her son.  "He's turned out to be such a good boy, don't you think?"  She looked to Nick for affirmation.

	"The best," responded Nick quickly.  "He has a great role model."  His eyes brightened.

	"Nicholas, I know this is the last time I'll see you in this life, and I wanted to tell you something," Angela began.  Nick looked down at her, still holding her hand, waiting for her to continue.  "I want to thank you for the hundredth time for all you have done for us over the years.  No family could have a better friend.  I know you live with pain and doubt, but you've been our guardian angel.  That's the way I'll always picture you."  

	She took several breaths before continuing, "Many years ago, I told you I thought my Brian sought you out on that battlefield in France.  I still think so.  I don't know if there is anything we have ever done to make a difference in your life, but you have made a great difference in ours."  Nick started to say something, but Angela raised her hand and placed it over his lips.  "The money you have provided for Brian and me has allowed us to be independent.  Although he doesn't see you often, Brian cares for you very much and always tries to keep the cabin clean and in good repair, just as you asked us after you bought it.  Without your influence when he was a teenager, I don't know if he ever would have stayed in high school, much less gone on to Orono for a degree.  I owe you so much...," her voice trailed off.

	"No, Angela, it is I who owe you."  Nick looked at her with tenderness and gratitude in his eyes.  "You were right; you were always right.  I came here in despair, looking for something I didn't even know existed.  You showed me peace was here.  I return for sanctuary and to find myself.  Just knowing the cabin, woods and lake are here reassures me.  And there is something else."  His brows furrowed.  "You have always accepted me without question.  I have seldom known anyone like you.  And Brian has matured into a responsible and caring man, just like his father.  But then you know that better than I," he concluded.

	Angela looked into his eyes for several moments before starting to laugh.  "I think we have quite a mutual admiration society going on here!"  A broad smile appeared on Nick's face, then she continued, "I believe what Brian told you.  We'll be together again.  But I worry about you, Nicholas.  Whatever you are, whatever you've done to bring such anguish into your life, someday someone will see your true soul, accept you and love you.  I have faith that it will happen, and I want you to promise to have faith, too.  Will you?"

	Nick's eyes lowered as he forced the words out.  "I will, Angela. I promise."

	She took his hand in hers, raised it to her lips and kissed it.  "Now, let an old woman get some sleep!" she smiled.  "I'm so tired.  Would you sit here until I drift off?"

	Nick pulled the covers up to her neck, tucking her in securely.  "Of course I will."  He tried to sound cheerful.  As he sat back down in the chair, he listened intently for the sound of her heart.  It was faint and growing more so with each breath.  Then it simply stopped, like a clock gradually winding down.  He looked at her face and saw a look of contentment.  As he got up to call Brian, Jr., he bent down and lovingly kissed her forehead.  "You were aptly named, Angela."  Then he hesitated for a moment wondering if the words would come out of his mouth.  "G--God bless you, and tell Brian thanks for me."

	Nick exited the room slowly and found Angela's son sitting alone at the kitchen table.  "She's gone, isn't she?" Brian, Jr. questioned.

	"Yes, her heart just slowed down and stopped.  There was no pain.  I'm so sorry.  She was a wonderful woman." 

	Brian looked up from the table into Nick's eyes trying desperately to keep his emotions under control.  "She's with my Dad, and I know they're happy.  She loved him so.  Thank you for all you've been to her and done for her.  I'll...I'll never forget."  With those words, Brian's voice finally began to break.

	Nick crossed the room and lightly placed his left hand on Brian's shoulder, squeezing him gently.  "You're right, Brian.  I know they're together."  After a few moments, Nick looked outside.  "I have to go now, the sun will be up in a half hour," Nick said sadly.

	"The cabin is all ready for you, Uncle Nick.  I even installed the electric blinds you told me about.  I've made some other changes as well.  Hope you like them," Brian said, gathering his composure.  "Things will be hectic around here for a while, but call me if you need anything, please.  Will you be staying?" Brian asked.

	"Yes. I was in the process of wrapping things up anyway before moving on," Nick began.  "The cabin has always afforded me peace and tranquility.  I could use some right now.  Call on me in a few days if you can, and remember that I'm here if you need me."

END PART 07/16              Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)
************************************
ALL I NEED     by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 08/16          See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimers

(Author's note: the time is still 1988 in Maine, the night of Angela Holt's death)

	The key to the cabin was under the stoop as always, and Brian had left the lights on.  The stone fireplace had been prepared for a fire, and plenty of wood was stacked just outside the back door.  Nick struck a match, igniting the fire before removing his coat and laying it on the sofa.

	As the flames cast an amber glow over the room, Nick returned to the fireplace and placed both hands on the mantle, resting his forehead on them.  He drank in the peace of the cabin and began to close his eyes.  NO!!  Something was terribly wrong.  As his head snapped upright, his eyes caught a familiar figure emerging from the shadow.


	"Nicholas!  How nice to see you again."  It was LaCroix.  "Why haven't you invited me to  your little vacation hideaway before?" he began, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he ran an imaginary white glove over the sofa table.  

	"What do you want, LaCroix?" Nick growled.

	"Nicholas, your hospitality leaves much to be desired.  I thought I taught you better manners," LaCroix continued, ignoring Nick's question.

	"As I said, what do you want, LaCroix?" Nick questioned again.        
	 
	"You always get right to the point, don't you, Nicholas?  All right, I admit I've been curious about the little get aways you've taken this century.  Of course, I assumed you'd gone to France, or Tibet or at least New York.  But Maine?  I thought you'd had your fill of peasants during the sixteenth century.  What could possibly appeal to your immortal senses here?" he asked, genuinely intrigued.

	Nick considered his master for a long while before responding. "You wouldn't understand, LaCroix.  I come here to find myself, to find peace," he began truthfully.  "No matter how you protest to the contrary, I am not you.  I am not like you.  It has always pained me to have to leave one life for another, and it's again time to move on."

	"Yes. I've been talking to Aristotle myself!" LaCroix responded.  "Nicholas, this is *who* we are.  This is *what* we are: creatures who feed on mortals and keep moving.  We do not become involved with them. They are fodder. WE ARE SUPERIOR!  DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH THEM!" he concluded angrily, slamming his clenched fist on the sofa table, splintering it.

	Nick sped across the room and pinned LaCroix to the wall.  "I have told you before, LEAVE ME ALONE!  I will not follow you.  I will not do your bidding.  I follow my own path!"  

	LaCroix pushed Nick away with one arm, a movement that would have appeared effortless to any bystander.  "I remind you that I created you, and I know very well WHAT you are.  Stop fighting your nature.  If this ‘peace' you seek exists, it is in accepting your killing nature," he  stated factually and dropped his arm to his side.  "Now come and join me once again," he concluded.

	Nick pushed LaCroix back against the wall, but this time his own strength seemed to be augmented by an unseen force.  LaCroix was momentarily caught off guard and gave his ‘son' an amused look.  "What is this, Nicholas?  Have you learned to keep a reserve?"  LaCroix smiled that menacing smile Nick had grown to hate over the centuries.  "How interesting!"

	Loosening his grasp on his master, Nick commanded, "Get out, LaCroix!  Wherever I go, I know you will be there, but I will not seek you out.  I will sever the link between us one day, and it will be the happiest day of my life."

	"Thankfully I have made alternate arrangements for the day, Nicholas, so we will not continue this pointless discussion.  Until next time."  He turned and was out the door.

	Nick stared at the place LaCroix had just occupied.  Then he remembered that feeling of strength that had surrounded him, just as his own strength had begun to fail.  The mysterious link again?  Even now, he did not know.

***********************************


	Natalie neared a rest stop on the long car trip from California to Toronto.  She had completed her medical studies several months before and was returning to Canada to become the youngest medical examiner in Canadian history.

	  Theressa had married.  She and her husband, Paul, were living in France after the incident that changed the sisters' relationship forever.  Paul had attempted to assault Natalie who fought him off.  But Theressa never believed Nat and blamed her sister for causing trouble and being jealous of Theressa's relationship. 

	 Natalie was alone now, and, although returning to Canada, she was taking a job in a city unfamiliar to her.  The job would begin November 1, 1988, leaving her only two weeks to find an apartment and get settled.	

	Pulling into a parking space near the restaurant, Natalie unbuckled her seat belt and momentarily glanced at herself in the rear view mirror.  For a second, she thought she saw something--no, *felt* something.  Seeing the panic on her own face, she briefly closed her eyes, trying to will the feeling away.  As she opened the car door, she felt it again.  Hesitating and fearful, she nonetheless allowed her mind to open to the feeling this time.  Her eyes were closed.  She saw, no *felt,* a tremendous tension between two powerful forces. One force exuded evil; it definitely had the upper hand.  The other seemed somehow familiar; this one was struggling.   Natalie gathered all the strength she could find in her being, and willed it to the familiar force.  It left her with a jolt, and she gasped.  Then the feeling was gone, leaving her a little dizzy but unscathed.

	Natalie took deep breaths and composed herself.  ‘Curious,' she thought.  ‘Very curious.'

END PART 08/16                Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)
***********************************

ALL I NEED   by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 09/16                See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimers

IMPORTANT NOTE: The following section contains scenes and some dialogue which have been paraphrased and/or embellished from scenes found in the Forever Knight episode, Only the Lonely, written by Susan Martin.  This was done to allow the current story its conclusion.


	Nick drew near the scene carefully.  He had picked up a conversation about a robbery with his superior hearing, and vowed to stop it.  Apparent gang members were approaching a neighborhood store.  As they entered, the shop owner looked up at them with fear.  One of the youths waved a handgun and demanded money.  Nick bolted to the door and ordered that the members put their weapons down.  As he moved closer to disarm them, one of the members pulled a pipe bomb from under his coat and threw it towards the shop owner.  Instinctively Nick pushed the shopkeeper aside and threw himself on the bomb as it exploded.

	Nothingness.  Sweet, sweet nothingness.  Nick hovered between consciousness and unconsciousness.  How long had it been?  Five minutes?  Three hours?  How long since the bomb ripped his body to shreds?  He did not know, but he did know his body was healing, although somewhat more slowly than in the past.  He attributed that to his diet of cow's blood which had replaced human blood over one hundred years before.

	Nick somehow knew he had been placed in a body bag and removed from the shop.  ‘They must be taking me to the morgue.'   His mind was still groggy.  Then he felt motion.  The body bag was being lifted onto a table.  His eyes would not open.   He felt a warmth around him.  Warmth in a morgue?  Light blasted his face as the body bag was unzipped.  He was getting stronger.  His eyes tried to flutter open.

	Then a touch, light and delicate.  He felt his heart beat: once, twice, three times!  His eyes opened, and he surveyed the room.  He saw a woman talking on the telephone, standing with her back to him.  

	Hunger!

	The hunger hit at the core of his being.  He bolted upright, his fangs quickly descending and his eyes turning vampire gold.

	She was talking to him, at him.  What was she saying?

	He spied the container of blood and rushed to grab it, gulping the liquid until the hunger slowly began to lessen.  He looked at her more carefully.  She was beautiful, and there was something else about her: she radiated more warmth, more goodness than he had ever felt before from a mortal.   
	She was talking at him again.  "What are you?"

	"Something very different from you," he responded sarcastically as the vampire tried to gain control.

	He regarded her closely.  What did she want?  He tried to wash himself from her memory.  She would not submit.  She was a resister.  
	

	He saw her nametag: Natalie Lambert, M.D.  She continued talking.  He responded, but part of him stayed aloof from the conversation.

	It was later that night when he heard himself ask her if she was afraid of him.  She answered in the negative and offered to help him become mortal.  She thought it was a physical, not a metaphysical condition which could be ‘cured' by science.  He asked her what her reward would be for her service.  She said that solving a puzzle was its own reward.  He warned her not to get too close to him, or he might hurt her.  But she was not afraid.

	Several months later, Nick joined Toronto Metro Homicide as Detective Nick Knight.  Natalie Lambert became his friend and doctor.  He admired her.  He liked her.  He was afraid of her.

END PART 09/16             Mary Lou Manzie   (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)

***********************************
ALL I NEED    by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 10/16                See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimer

IMPORTANT NOTE: The following section contains scenes and some dialogue which has been paraphrased and/or embellished from scenes from the Forever Knight episode Only the Lonely, written by Susan Martin.  This was done to allow this story its conclusion.


	‘Some twenty-eighth birthday,' she thought as she cleaned up after the last autopsy.  Natalie  had quickly settled into her role as medical examiner, and was even getting used to the graveyard shift she often earned as the newest Toronto M.E.  Grace had given her a card, signed by the other techs and herself.  It was one of those ‘party hardy and naked on your birthday' cards.  She hated it, but knew it was given with affection.

	She looked at the clock, willing it to speed up so she could go home.  The phone rang.  The police department was anxious for the results of an autopsy.  She looked for the paperwork and could not find it.  "What's the name?" she asked.  The voice responded that the deceased had no identification.  She hung up the phone and waited for Eddie to deliver the body.

	Eddie entered the morgue almost fearfully.  He explained that the man had broken up a gang robbery and was tossed a pipe bomb in return.  There was not much left of him.  Then Eddie quickly backed out the door after helping Natalie move the body from the gurney to the examining table.  

	Natalie had never been anxious about her work, even when she was alone on the night shift, as now.  But something sent a tingle to the base of her spine as she began to unzip the bag carefully.  She drew in her breath in surprise.  There was something wrong.  This guy was gorgeous.  Where were the ‘pieces?'  She gazed at the face for a long moment, and could not fight the urge to touch it, even through gloved hands.  Delicately she turned the outside of her hand to face his cheek and slowly ran her index finger from his temple down to his jaw line.  "Not bad," she whispered.  "Not bad at all.''

	 She turned to call the precinct again, convinced that a mistake had been made.  She explained the situation, lowered the handset to the base and started to turn around to the examining table when she suddenly sped up her movement.  Her eyes opened wide and her jaw dropped.  The ‘corpse' was sitting up, but it--*he* had fangs for canines, and his eyes glowed golden.  Natalie fought for breath.  All of her scientific background disappeared as her brain tried to make sense of what her eyes were seeing.  She backed away from the table as he moved to the blood container and bit down on one of them draining the contents with lightning speed.  She heard herself exclaim, "What the hell?" and "What are you?"

	"Something very different from you," he responded icily.  "I am a vampire."

	Vampire!  Natalie felt drawn to him, not repulsed as she might have expected.  She tried to touch him again.  He grabbed her hand and held it away from him, before finally bringing it gently to his face, caressing it with his skin.  They were talking to each other, exchanging information, but Natalie's overriding focus was on her emotions.  She was not afraid of him.  Why?

	Later that night, he tried to hypnotize her. She laughed.  He spoke of his quest to regain his mortality, his humanity.  She heard herself offer to help him.  What was she saying?  She should walk, no *run,* in the opposite direction.  But she could not.  He drew her to him like a moth to a candle.  And his presence made hers burn all the more brightly.

	Natalie resolved to take up the challenge.   He was 800 years old.  He had seen everything.  He had done everything.  Although she knew she should fear him, she did not.  She would not.  She saw strength and power in his radiant blue eyes.  And there was something else: a desperate need to believe and to have someone believe in him.  Natalie did not know how this came to her, but she knew it was true.  She was about to begin a very strange adventure.  She could not even guess where it would lead.

END PART 10/16               Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)
*********************************

ALL I NEED   by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 11/16                      See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimers

TIME:  Two years later, Toronto:

	Nick sat alone in the loft gazing at the fire...two years had passed since he had first encountered Natalie in the morgue.  In that time he had also acquired a mortal partner in the homicide division, Don Schanke.  Both of these relationships put Nick in closer, more intimate contact with mortals every day than he had experienced in many lifetimes.  Schanke was the easier relationship: what you saw was what you got.  Souvlaki breath, bad jokes, loud ties, never enough time or money. He was too loud, but he was a good cop with street sense, an analytical mind and protective of his partner.  Schanke was also hopelessly in love with the woman he married, a saint named Myra.  He just needed to be reminded of it occasionally.	

	The relationship with Natalie was not so easy.  Her first touch caused his heart to beat, loud and strong.  For two years they had been friends.  She zealously researched and experimented with his blood, skin cells and anything else that could be analyzed.  She was bound to find a cure.  He tolerated the protein shakes, raw meat, tests and awful green gook she made him drink.  He told himself it was because he wanted to be mortal again.  He lied.  It gave him more opportunities to be near her, to inhale her fragrance, to be warmed by her spirit, to laugh with her and protect her.  Somewhere deep inside, he loved her.

	Nick reminded himself almost daily now of the awful bargain that had saved his sister, Fleur.  LaCroix agreed not to bring Fleur across, but in repayment, he would destroy any mortal female Nick  ever dared to love.  Although Nick had experienced mortal relationships over the years, he had never loved a mortal woman with the depth of passion which would alert LaCroix.  His master was relentless and unforgiving.  Nick had nothing to counteroffer.


	At least once or twice a week, Natalie came to Nick's loft with her medical bag, take-out food and a video rental.  By now he could hear her heartbeat while she was still two blocks away.  The sweet anticipation of her arrival caused him both pleasure and pain.  He longed to see her smile, to hear her badger him about his vitamins, to listen to her recount her trials at work.  But most of all, he waited until he could softly slip his arm around her shoulder.  This usually happened when he relented and let her rent a romantic tear-jerker, which inevitably concluded with her crying into his chest while he comforted her.

	The pain from these encounters was caused by his constant struggle to hold back his feelings so she would not be hurt.  She had had enough grief in her life already.  He would not compound it.  That was his noble side.  He feared that he might injure or even destroy her, if his passion were ever fully realized and the beast was released.  He did not trust himself with her, but, oh,  how he longed to touch her, to be with her.  Every time he allowed himself to think of them together, he forced his brain to shut down for fear of opening a fatal link to LaCroix.  That was his rationalization.

	There was something else.  He loved her for her strength, her compassion, her intelligence and her humanity.  He could not cope with losing her to death, either at LaCroix's hand or at the end of a long, mortal life.  No, it would be better not to love her.  Better for them both. And there was the quest to regain his humanity to consider.  That *must* be his focus: atonement for his past evil in order to be able to walk again in the sunlight.

	But it was too late.  Nick only wanted to walk in the light if Natalie was by his side.  	
	But what of Natalie?  She had never revealed her feelings toward him.  He knew she cared for him as a friend.  She was always checking on his progress toward the cure.  Was there more?  He thought of the way she sometimes glanced at him when she thought he could not see her.  But did she love him?

	Nick seldom allowed her to look directly into his eyes, fearing she would see into his soul and be repulsed.  Rejection.  THAT was what he really feared.  And he did not have the faith to overcome it.

************************************    
	  	  
	Natalie caressed Sidney as he rubbed his furry head across her arm.  "Good Sidney," she purred back at him.  "I love you, too."  

	‘Love.  What a funny concept!' she thought.  She loved sunrises; she loved chocolate; she loved Nick.  ‘No, Lambert.  Don't go there,' she warned herself.

	Natalie considered the last two years of her life.  She was secure in her job.  She was a consummate professional, doing important work, assisted by a competent staff.  And she came home to a cat, ate microwave dinners and was in love with an 800-year-old vampire.  Love.  That word again.

	She remembered the night they met in the morgue.  She remembered the thrill that caught her by surprise--the same one she tried to stifle every time she was in Nick's presence.  ‘I have my work, and my challenge is to find a cure to allow him to be mortal again.  Then it is his choice how he lives his life.'  LIAR.    She could feel his presence many minutes before he strolled into the morgue to pick up some report or evidence.  She knew whether or not he was in the loft before she parked her car.  Her heartbeat quickened when she sensed he was in danger.  There was a connection to him.

	But Nick would never let her into the inner core of his life.  He was always mumbling about protecting her, keeping her from harm.  She thought he did not trust her; she thought he did not have faith in her.  He did not have faith in himself.

	Natalie let out a sigh.  "So, Sid, what do I do?  I've never told him how I feel about him, so how would he know?  I can keep on hoping something will happen, or I can give him a little nudge.  I vote for the latter."

END PART 11/16                Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)

***************************************
ALL I NEED by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 12/16                 See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimers

IMPORTANT NOTE: The following sections contain scenes and some dialogue which have been paraphrased and/or embellished from scenes from the Forever Knight episodes Be My Valentine, written by Diane Cary and Sons of Belial, written by Larry Lalonde and Phil Bedard.  It was done to allow this story its conclusion.

February 18 (Flashback sequence included):

	Nick cradled an empty green bottle in his hands.  Would Natalie remember?  Could she ever understand and forgive him?  Maybe he should just go.  It had been best in the past when there were too many entanglements and unanswered questions.

	Only a few days before, she had given him the sterling pillbox.  He had professed his love for her.  There had been no time for explanations or plans.  That would have come when they were finally alone on Valentine's evening.

	Then LaCroix had tried to exact his retribution.  It was in those interminable seconds, with fangs descended yet still desperately trying to find a solution, that Nick prayed for the first time in centuries.  He asked God for a way to save Natalie from the darkness; to save himself from casting a black veil over one more soul.  

	They say ‘God moves in mysterious ways.'  As Nick prepared to prove he did not love Natalie by bringing her across, LaCroix somehow believed the lie.  Nick's prayer had been answered.  The horrible bargain made centuries ago would not be satisfied that night.

	Nick had won the battle, but he felt he had lost the war.  To him, mortality was further from his reach than ever.  He knew, now, that Natalie truly loved him.  He had openly declared his love for her, only to endanger her once again. 

	One step forward...two steps back.

	The loft echoed with the awful clink of an empty green bottle hitting the floor. 

*************************************

February 18:

	Natalie tossed and turned in her bed, causing Sidney to move to the sofa for his rest.  She finally got up and went into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate.  She closed her eyes as she savored the warm liquid in her mouth before swallowing.  At that moment she saw Nick sitting in his loft.  Was she asleep?  As she concentrated on him, her mind was flooded with memories of Valentine's night: the restaurant...LaCroix...LaCroix demanding the retribution owed him...Nick denying his love for her...Nick's breath on her neck, his lips pressing hers, the touch of his fangs on her skin... *No!* It did not happen! *It was a dream.*

	There was more.  A young woman-Nick's sister?  LaCroix holding the woman, professing his love for her, wanting to bring her across.  Nick demanding LaCroix not harm Fleur.  The bargain.  The horrible bargain.  Natalie knew Nick had never told her about this; she was experiencing these memories with and *through* him.  His pain and shame were unbearable.  She felt him want to run.  Although she heard his words deny his love for her, she also felt his heart.  She heard his prayer.  

	Natalie focused on Nick again.  She tried to send him her understanding and love.  Only sadness came back to her.

************************************

One Month Later:

	Over the past few weeks, they had largely avoided one another.  Nick believed Natalie had no memory of the events of Valentine's evening, and he was ashamed that he had denied he loved her, even though it had saved her life and her soul.  At first Natalie tried to talk to him, but she could not resolve the images that kept crowding her brain, revealing so much about Nick's past.  

	As each struggled to overcome their doubts, another event happened which pushed them further apart.  While investigating an apparent suicide, Schanke and Nick questioned Max Vanderwahl, a former Catholic priest who had been excommunicated for performing exorcisms.  

	During such a ritual, a malevolent spirit possessed Nick.  Assaulted by voices and thoughts foreign even to his own personal demons, Nick sought out LaCroix to take him to Vanderwahl.  Convinced that Nick was being controlled by something beyond even his control, LaCroix participated in the cleansing event at Vanderwahl's home.  As the demon exercised its strongest hold over Nick, Natalie arrived, causing the demon to fly to her and attempt to take her life.  In one of the great battles for mastery of his soul, Nick fought back the demon.

	In the aftermath, Natalie was convinced that Nick had passed a major test on the road to his quest.  Nick, however, felt the experience had set him, no *them,* back a bit.  It had revived the vampire's taste for human blood, and, once again, he did not trust himself near her.

	Their sense of each other was ebbing, but Natalie's dreams continued to be haunted by events of the past.
	
******************************

	"Nick, I remember Valentine's Day.  And Azure.  We need to talk."  The phone message stopped Nick cold.  What would he say to her?  As he thought for a moment, he heard the lift start up and knew it was Natalie.  

	The door opened, Nick looked up and motioned her over to the sofa.  "Nat...I...I," he tried to start.

	"I've seen it, Nick.  I've felt it."  Natalie interrupted.  "I know about Fleur, and why you've always tried to protect me.  Sit down.  This is going to take some time."

	Nick took her hand in his as they sat on the sofa, facing each other.  Natalie continued, "I love you.  I've loved you since the first moment I saw you in the morgue.  I should have been afraid, but I wasn't.  There was something about you I trusted.  Over the years I thought I was sharing your struggle.

	"Ever since the exorcism, you've been distant and cold.  You act as if I don't exist in your life.  I feel like an outsider."  Natalie took a deep breath.  "I've also sensed that you've made the decision to leave.  Am I right?" she asked, hardly daring to look into his eyes for the answer.

	"Yes," he replied softly.

	"I see."  She released his hand.  "And why exactly are you going?"

	"Nat, you know why."  Nick's voice was sad.  "We can't have the relationship we want.  I'm afraid I'll hurt you.  I could have killed you at Vanderwahl's!  Look at all the pain I've already caused you with my selfish struggle.  If I leave now, you'll still have your life ahead of you filled with hope and maybe a family of your own.  I've brought you nothing but misery, and I won't allow it to continue," he finished.

	Natalie stood up and began to pace.  "*YOU* won't allow it to continue!" she practically screamed.  "What about *me*?  What about *my* feelings?  This is *my* choice.  It's always been *my* choice.  And I have chosen to be with you in whatever way I can.

	"You're right.  You *are* selfish, and I've come to believe that you're also too comfortable with your suffering.  It's much easier to hide in misery than it is to live in the light."

	"Nat, you know I can't do that!" Nick's voice was stronger.

	"Can't or won't, Nick?" Natalie's eyes were on fire now.  "I've always had faith in you, believed in you.  I've believed in the good in you.  My God, Nick, don't you remember what Max Vanderwahl said to us?  ‘For the devil to be driven out, one must first believe that God has not abandoned the soul.  Torn as he is between good and evil, Nick does have faith.'  Are you calling him a liar?  I saw it, Nick.  I saw the demon possess you, and I saw you fight its desire to kill me.  IT WAS YOU, Nick, not the holy water or the crucifix.  It was the good in you that saved my life.  Even LaCroix saw it.  Why won't you?"  She stopped, suddenly feeling drained and alone.

	Nick's eyes were focused on the floor.  As he looked up at her, he saw the tears crowd her eyes.  "And what about the next time, Natalie?  How will I know it won't happen again?  I can't risk it; I can't risk *you*."

	"Then there's nothing left to say," Natalie ended.  She reached out her hand to touch him, then dropped it to her side.
 
	She turned in silence, and took the lift to the garage.

	Nick stood and surveyed the loft.  The symbols of his past and present seemed to gather as he walked to the refrigerator, uncorked the bottle with his teeth, spat the cork on the floor and raised the container to his lips. ‘*NO!* Not this time!' he thought as he heaved the bottle against the nearest wall.  Eight hundred years of shame and longing converged upon him, as he slowly lost the feeling in his legs and his body collapsed on the floor.  

END PART 12/16                Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)
*******************************

ALL I NEED    by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 13/16            See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimers

Scene:   Toronto, a few days later


	As the days strung together, the hurt would not subside.  Natalie transferred to the day shift.  It was easier this way.  She missed him, but she had already told him everything that was in her heart.  She could not bear the possibility of having to make small talk.   Distance--perhaps that might help.  But first, there was one more thing to do.

	Natalie picked up the telephone.  "Schank?  Hi, it's Nat," she began.

	"Natalie!  How are you?"  Don Schanke sounded genuinely concerned. 

	"Oh, I've been well.  You?"  She hated this.

	"Okay."  Schanke replied.

	"Listen, I was wondering if Nick's on tonight?"  She tried to make her voice sound calm.

	"Yeah.  We both are.  We still have the Carter case outstanding."  Schanke hesitated.  " Look, Nat, do you know if there's something wrong with Nick?"

	"Ahh...no, Schank.  I don't.  I haven't seen him much since I'm on days now."  She was rationalizing.  "Have you asked him?"
   
	"Nooo.  I'd rather pet a piranha than ask Nick *anything*, considering the mood he's been in.  I thought maybe you two...," Schanke didn't know how to continue.

	"I've gotta run.  They just wheeled in my next hour's work." She wanted to finish this call.  "Okay?"

	"Sure, Nat.  Should I give Nick a message?"  Schank asked.

	"No, thanks.  I'll see you,"  Natalie concluded.

********************************

	Natalie entered the security code to the loft and was relieved to discover Nick had not changed it.  She looked around.  Was it even more gloomy than usual or was it just her imagination?  She cued the tape in the cassette player, placed a note next to the stereo and left.


*******************************

	Nick booked off early after exploding at Schanke for losing the autopsy report on the Carter murder.  Schanke had found it in Nick's center desk drawer.

	Nick parked the Caddy. As he exited the car, he thought he caught a whiff of familiar perfume.  He flew to the door, opened it and yelled, "Nat, are you here?"  No reply.  But he knew she had been there.  Then he saw it.  A small white envelope written in her script.  On the outside it read, ‘Play the tape.  Then read the note inside.'  

	Nick saw that there was a cassette in his tape player.  He pushed the play button, and a soft blues melody began to permeate the loft with its melancholy strains.

	"Turn down the lights	
	  Turn down the bed
	  Turn down these voices inside my head
	  Lay down with me, tell me no lies
	  Just hold me close, don't patronize
	  Don't patronize me.

	  Cause I can't make you love me if you don't	
	  You can't make your heart feel something it won't
	  Here in the dark, in these final hours
	  I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
	  But you won't, no you won't
	  Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

	  I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
	  The love you don't feel when you're holdin' me
	  Mornin' will come and I'll do what's right
	  Just give me till then to give up this fight
	  And I will give up this fight.

	  Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
	  You can't make your heart feel something it won't
	  Here in the dark, in these final hours
	  I will lay down my heart, and I'll feel the power.
	  But you won't, no you won't
	  Cause I can't make you love me if you don't."** 

	The walls of the loft reverberated with the echoes of Bonnie Raitt's powerful voice.  Blood tears welled in Nick's eyes as he thought about the words.

	"I will lay down my heart, and I'll feel the power,	
	but you won't...
	Cause I can't make you love me if you don't."  

	Natalie's beautiful face haunted him.  He picked up the envelope and opened it:


	Dear Nick:

	This song says everything that's in my heart.  Don't worry, I'm
	leaving to take a position in Vancouver.  Don't feel guilty.  It's my
	decision, and it'll be okay.  Stay here and continue your quest.
	Just know that I loved you.

				Natalie

	Nick wanted to scream the words, ‘I *do* love you, Natalie.  That's the reason I'm so afraid.'  But all he heard was silence.

	Every life contains at least one defining moment, even lives which have spanned hundreds of years.  As Nick's consciousness sank into those old familiar feelings of self-doubt and guilt which had accompanied him on his eight hundred year journey, he thought again of Natalie.  Her belief in him and her love for him--the man and the beast--pushed into his brain.  ‘I must have faith,' he prayed.  ‘Faith in myself, faith in her, faith in a future for us both.  I cannot face any more darkness.'

	If faith is the antidote to doubt, the cure rested in his own hands.
	
	Almost without thinking, he flew through the skylight and towards her apartment.  As he landed outside on the sidewalk, he listened for her heartbeat.  She was inside!  He approached her apartment and knocked, but there was no answer.  He tried again, and was rewarded with the sound of her footsteps.  Then he saw her as she opened the door.  Her face looked tired; her entire body looked tired.  "Nick, there's nothing more--" she started to speak.  
	
	Nick walked into the living room.  He took her hand in his as she stiffened.  "Natalie, you must forgive me.  You're right about almost everything," he began slowly, but the words seemed to pick up speed as they tumbled out on their own volition.  "I've been hiding from the real quest, and I *have* become comfortable and complacent in my misery.  It's like an old habit, and it *is* easier than living in the light.  I never allowed myself to think that a mortal could genuinely share my struggle.  I've been afraid.  Afraid to let anyone see inside my soul because they might be repulsed.  Afraid that if I found my humanity, my mortality, there would be no other quest in my life."  

	He gazed into her eyes, which had begun to moisten.  "When you touched me in the morgue that night, my heart began to beat.  I should have known then.  The song is wrong.  I *do* love you.  And whatever happens in the future, it will happen to the *two* of us."  He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, still keeping his focus on her face.

	Natalie allowed a sliver of hope to enter her heart.

	"Natalie, I have finally found the courage to face my fears.  I have enough faith and love for us both," he whispered.  "There is no other for me, nor has there ever been.  Tell me it's not too late."

	Natalie's entire body leaned into his.  They kissed deeply and passionately as dreamy images slowly filled their minds, causing their shared emotions to be revealed.  As their eyes opened cautiously, it was Natalie who spoke first. "It's *you!*"

	Nick's face was puzzled for a second.  "You sent me your strength!" he replied.  

	"Nick, I don't know what's happening to us, but if we don't make love soon, no, NOW, I...I..."  Before she could finish, Nick swept her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. 

	"As milady wishes." He smiled.

	Natalie looked up at him with all the love and courage in her soul.  "I love you," she whispered.  "Are you afraid?"

	"Only that this dream will end.  Someone once told me that all things are possible in faith and love."  He began to kiss her lips, her eyes, her face.

	Their passion built.  As their love was finally consummated, they released themselves to each other.  Nick's body shuddered as the bloodlust rose from the core of his being, but he concentrated on his link to Natalie.  As the demon raged, he saw only Natalie's face, loving him and accepting him.  He fought for control.  He would *win* this fight.


	Natalie gently touched Nick's face, his lips.  "No beast?" she managed to ask.

	He waited a moment.  "No beast," he answered.  "Just a man totally in love with a woman."  As he lay beside her, his eyes fixed on hers, she saw the window into his soul.  It was all there, the good and the evil, coexisting, just as in all of us.

	They spent the rest of the night in her bed, loving and laughing and touching each other before drifting off to sleep in love's embrace.  At mid-day Nick gently got up, trying not to wake Natalie.  He pulled on his jeans and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her.  He returned ten minutes later with juice and tea.  

	Natalie had awakened a few minutes earlier and had heard him in the kitchen.  She smiled as he entered the room with the tray.  "Tell me I'm not dreaming, please." 
  
	"If you are, I am, too!" he said.  "I'm new at this breakfast in bed thing, so bear with me."

	A look of concern crossed Natalie's face.  "You haven't fed, Nick.  How are you feeling?" she questioned.

	"In love.  I don't think I'm hungry.  But that juice looks kind of good.  Mind if I try a little?" he asked.

	Natalie could not believe her ears.  Nick picked up the glass and raised it slowly to his lips.  He took one small sip and held it in his mouth for ten seconds before swallowing it.  Then he took another.  Natalie's eyes opened wide.  "Nick!!"

	Nick looked relieved.  "That's probably it for now.  But it wasn't bad.  What kind of fruit is this again?"

	"Orange.  It's orange juice.  I just added it to your shopping list!" Nat beamed.

	"We'd better get into work tonight.  I booked off early and you're..." Nick began, remembering that Natalie was transferring to Vancouver.

	"I've got some explaining to do," Natalie responded quickly.  "It'll be okay.  I'll come up with something."



END PART 13/16                 Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)
*************************

ALL I NEED by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 14/16                 See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimers

	Nick showered and returned to the loft to change clothes before reporting for work.  As he walked into the precinct, Schanke swore he heard Nick humming.  "Partner, what's with you?  That couldn't be a smile on your pathetic excuse for a face, could it?"

	"Hi, Schank!" Nick exclaimed.  "How's Myra?  How's Jenny?"

	"Nick, I'm serious!  What has happened to you?" Schanke began.  "I thought you'd be even more upset than you were earlier last night.  Did you hear that Natalie is transferring to Vancouver?  Something about a sick relative."  Schanke explored Nick's face for an explanation.

	"Oh, no, I didn't hear that, Schank.  Can't a guy be in a good mood once in a while?" He was almost singing now, and Shanke was seriously worried.


	"Yeah, a guy can be in a good mood, but not you.  Isn't it against your religion or something?" Schanke queried.

	"That's a good one!" Nick laughed.  "Hey, what was the name of that jeweler you were telling me about last month?  You know, the one that you said did such a good job repairing Myra's mother's ring?"

	"You mean Hamilton's on Deerfield Street?" Don was on a roll now.  "Jeweler?  Nick, are you holding out on me?  Is there a lady involved?  No, scratch that.  Can't be."  He was practically frenzied.

	"It's nothing, partner.  Just repairing a family heirloom.  I remember you said Hamilton's did a good job," was Nick's answer.  "We've almost wrapped up the Carter case, haven't we?  Do you mind if I meet you back here in a hour?"

	"Sure, Nick, sure," Shanke schmoozed.  "Take all the time you need.  The last time something this weird happened, the world was coming to an end, and I'm not going anywhere this time."

**********************************


	Nick parked the Caddy on Deerfield Street in front of the small jewelry shop.  He opened the trunk and took out a long object camouflaged in cloth.  The shopkeeper looked up as Nick entered the door.  "May I help you, sir?" he said.

	"I hope so," Nick replied.  "I'd like you to create an engagement ring.  It has to be very special...."

*********************************

	Nick was waiting at the loft when he heard the lift engage.  Natalie opened the door carefully, remembering the way the apartment looked the last time she was there.  "Hi," she said.  "Looks better than before!"

	Nick had her in his arms almost before she could finish speaking.  "I missed you," he said as he kissed her. 

	Natalie had never felt such warmth from him.  Not emotional warmth.  Body heat.  "Nick, you're burning up!"

	"I know, Nat. Let's go upstairs!" he began as he picked her up and started walking towards the stairs.

	At that moment, a cold breeze fell over them, making them both shiver.  "Such a touching scene, Nicholas."  That voice.  "I see the good doctor has tried another ‘cure,'" LaCroix's voice cut the air like a velvet knife. 

	In one smooth motion, Nick set Natalie on her feet and positioned her behind him.  Facing his master, he said,  "LaCroix, this is not what you think."

	"Our link may be weakened, but I still am your master, Nicholas.  You cannot hide from me," he began.  "Do you remember that evening?  Of course you do!  Time to collect my fee.  How much interest do you suppose has accrued on an 800 year old debt?"

	"No, LaCroix," Nick cried. "If you still demand payment, kill *me.*  She is innocent."

	"No!" Natalie gasped.

	"She is hardly innocent, my son." LaCroix's anger was mounting.  "She has interfered for the last time.  GIVE HER TO ME!"  LaCroix raised his hand to strike Nick, when a misty presence slowly emerged from the shadows.  

	Almost invisible at first, the mist divided into two figures, taking human shape over a matter of moments.  LaCroix was enraged as he stared at Nick for an answer.  "What trickery is this?"

	The two figures were a man and a woman.  The man held the woman's arm lovingly at his side.

	"It is not trickery, Lucien," the female figure replied.  

	LaCroix turned to face her.  "Fleur, how can this be?  You are dead!!  You were lost to me." 
 
	The male figure spoke.  It was Nicholas, resplendent in his crusader garb.  "She was lost to you, Lucien, because you wanted to take her into the darkness with you.  But her immortal soul lives on because you loved her enough to let her stay in the light."

	"Yes, Lucien," Fleur continued.  "I loved you, too.  Although I wanted to be with you, Nicholas would not allow me to be lost to the darkness.  He knew my soul would cry out in pain over the centuries, as his soul has.  He was right.  Now I come to beg you. *I beseech* you, Lucien, that if you ever loved me,  release Nicholas from your agreement.  He does not want to live with his love in darkness.  He is moving into the light again.  It is time for you to let go," she finished her plea.

	"*NO!*  I will not let Nicholas have the love that I could not!  You are nothing but vapors.  You have no power here!"  LaCroix's voice was straining.

	"What good is he to you, now?" the crusader Nicholas asked.  "If you take Natalie, he will hate you with a force that not even you can imagine. *This* hate will destroy your bond as easily as his love for her has done.  If you kill him, he returns to his God, where you dare not tread.  Either way, he is lost to you."


	"If I take her, he has an eternity of pain, as I have had for over eight hundred years and that is only the down payment," LaCroix barked.

	Fleur approached the powerful vampire.  Although an apparition, her misty presence enveloped him, and he heard her say, "This is my love for you, Lucien.  Natalie's love for my brother is equally strong.  I know you love Nicholas in your own way.  Please, let him go to the light."  Her voice was soft and melodic, like the wind.  "Promise me you will allow them to be together.  I always saw the good in you.  Let Nicholas see it, too."  As if the effort drained her entire being, Fleur's apparition disappeared.

	LaCroix, whose eyes had closed, opened them, and blood tears streamed down his face.  He stared at Nick, still standing in front of Natalie.  Then his gaze moved to the crusader knight.  "I will give you this lifetime, Nicholas, but no more.  Make of it what you will."  He looked up at the skylight and was gone.

	Nick turned to face Natalie.  They were alone.  All others had vanished.  They looked into each other's eyes as they shared an emotion foreign to them both until that moment: hope.  He whispered in her ear, "*This* lifetime is all I need."

END PART 14/16               Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)

*****************************

ALL I NEED    by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 15/16       See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimer

	The next day Nick awoke with Natalie in his arms.  They were in his bed, beginning their life together.  He gently moved her sleeping body and slipped on his black pajama bottoms.

	It was mid-day.  As Nick walked towards the landing, he saw that the loft was bathed in light.  Although he had remembered to lower the inside blinds, he had forgotten to adjust the outer metallic ones.  Last night there had been other matters that had required his attention, he thought, unable to repress a smile as he descended the stairs.

	Natalie's eyes opened slowly.  She reached out her hand to reassure herself that Nick was lying next to her, but she was alone.  Rising quickly, she hurried to the upper landing, suddenly stopping short and inhaling sharply.  The vision that greeted her changed the reality she had known for the past three years.  

	Nick neared the light and slowly placed his hand in the outermost beam.  A little warmth.  He then placed his entire body in its path.  

	Natalie saw the man she loved standing in a beautiful shower of sunlight.  After a moment or two, he moved away.


	She ran down to him.  "Nick?" she questioned.

	"It was all right, Natalie.  I can't tolerate it for very long, but it's going to be all right."  His face took on a glow of its own, as he wrapped his arms around her.

***********************************

	Two nights later, Nick met Natalie at the morgue.  They were taking their dinner break together.  They had told no one of the change in their relationship.  Not Schanke.  Not Grace.  Not Captain Cohen.  They had heard some sly remarks as their co-workers noticed the furtive glances and smiles on both their faces.  But for now, only the two of them knew the truth.
	
	As they walked towards the restaurant, Nick spied a park bench.  "Natalie, can we stop a minute?" he asked.

	"Uh huh," she responded.  "Is there something wrong?"

	"No," he started.  "Just sit here."  As she sat down, he held her hand and got to his knee.  "Natalie, you know I love you.  The fires of eight hundred years of hell could not keep us apart.  Please honor me for the time we have together in this life.  Will you marry me?"  With those words, Nick took out a velvet box and handed it to Natalie.  "Open it."

	Natalie stared at the box, then at Nick.  "Of course I'll marry you, Nicholas Knight.  I will love you forever."  She kissed him and opened the box.  Inside was a large garnet set in a ring,  surrounded by fifteen perfect diamonds.  It shone blood red and white as it reflected the park lights.  "It's so beautiful!" exclaimed Natalie.  "How...Where?"

	"It is the jewel of the sword of Brabant.  I have won my battle.  I want *you* to have the prize, as you will always have my heart."

	Nick drew Natalie into his arms and caressed her cheek with his.  For several moments, they simply held each other, as they dreamed about their new life together.   "Nat, will you come home to the loft with me after your shift?" Nick asked softly.  "Let's not ever be apart--not even one more day."

	Her answer was the smile that began in her heart but quickly enveloped her entire being. 

******************************

	Schanke had just poured himself a cup of coffee and was returning to his desk with a fresh donut when Nick and Natalie strolled into the precinct.  Taking a bite, he reached for the Carter file, flecks of powdered sugar falling unnoticed to his tie.  "Hey, Knight," Schanke mumbled around the sweet mouthful as the two drew near.  "You're late...again, and Cohen is going to have our heads."

	Nick and Natalie exchanged amused glances.  "Sorry, Schank," Nick apologized.  "There were, er...extenuating circumstances."  Natalie tried to cover a smile with one hand, her ring flashing in the artificial light.

	She leaned against the edge of Nick's desk as Schanke blindly pushed a sheaf of papers in his partner's general direction.  "Well, now that you're finally here, you can finish--"

	"Don, I need to ask you a favor first," Nick interrupted, taking the proffered papers and setting them down on the other man's desk.

	Startled by the use of his first name, Schanke shot the blond detective a questioning stare.  "Nick?"

	Lowering his voice and unobtrusively pulling Natalie closer, Nick announced, "We'd like to ask you to be our best man."

	Schanke dropped the donut into his coffee, spilling the hot liquid all over his pants.   "Nick!!!  Natalie!!!" he cried, banging his hand into the phone in his haste to speed dial Myra.

	Nick removed the receiver from his partner's grasp and replaced it on its cradle.  "Schank, keep it to yourself for now, would you?" he urged in hushed tones.

	Before the dark-haired man could reply, Natalie removed herself from Nick's light touch.  "I don't know about you guys, but *I've* got work to do.   Another day...another duodenum."

	She started walking toward the door, and Nick hurried to catch up with her.  As soon as they were out of earshot, Schanke turned back to the phone and dialed.  "Myra, you're *not* gonna believe this..."

	During the course of the night, Schanke accidentally told Grace, let it slip during an interview with Captain Cohen and unwittingly mentioned it to the second biggest gossip in the department.  By the time the shift was over, everyone in the precinct knew of Nick and Natalie's impending nuptials.

	As planned, Natalie headed to the precinct at the end of her shift to catch a ride home to the loft with Nick.  ‘Home'--the concept felt very good.  

	As she entered the room, forty-four pairs of eyes looked up, and twenty-two voices stopped speaking.  Natalie tried desperately to find Nick whose voice was the only one still audible.  She felt her face flush red with embarrassment.

	Captain Amanda Cohen emerged from her office.  She motioned for Nick and Natalie to come to the center of the room.  "Natalie, Nick," she began.  "I understand congratulations are in order!"  The room slowly filled with the applause of their friends and co-workers.

	Natalie slipped her hand into Nick's as she tried to smile, acknowledging the well-wishers.  She turned a questioning glance to Nick.  When their eyes met, they simultaneously mouthed the same word, ‘Schanke!'

	As their unexpected moment in the limelight ended, Nick turned his mortified countenance towards Schanke.  Irritated, he headed to his partner's desk with Natalie in tow.

	Schanke looked up in alarm.  "What?!! *I* didn't tell anyone...well, except for Nancy over in traffic.  And then there was Sullivan in vice.  Oh, and Sanderson in records.  But that was it, I *swear,* Nick.  I didn't breathe a word to *anyone* else."  Nick slowly shook his head in feigned disgust.

	"Natalie!  Help me out here," Schanke cried.  "You know I was only trying to help."  He looked to Natalie for understanding.  "And, besides, I have a cousin in the catering business, and you're going to need a band, and..."

	Nick's forehead gently touched Natalie's.  "Want to elope?" he smiled.

	"And spoil all his fun?" Natalie laughed.  
	
END PART 15/16	Mary Lou Manzie (manziemarylou@classic.msn.com)

*******************************

ALL I NEED   by Mary Lou Manzie

PART 16/16       See Part 1 for Spoiler/Caveat/Disclaimer

Two Months Later:   

	Natalie looked around the room anxiously.  Her two best friends were helping with the last minute details--those that would complete her transformation to wife and helpmate of the man she loved.

	For a moment she hesitated.  Was she doing the right thing?  Was she ready?  Would they share a life, or create a burden for each other that would grow and fester until it drove them apart?  No!  They would share a life of love and commitment--faith in each other and in the future.  Of this Natalie was quite sure.

	"Almost time," interrupted Myra, her maid of honor.  "The music has started.  We're with you, and we love you both."

	Natalie waited while the two women started the processional from the anteroom to the vestibule.  She began her slow and methodical walk to the future which awaited her.

	 The room was filled with their dearest friends and co-workers, all smiles and anticipation.  Most had found the early evening ceremony a little unusual, but perhaps not so unusual for this unconventional couple after all.  The bride and groom explained that a candlelight wedding was exactly what they wanted, and no one had dared to disagree.  

	Grace entered first, tall and serene, and seemed to float down the aisle, lovely in a pale peach gown with a small bouquet of roses.  Her smile was infectious, especially when she looked down to the makeshift altar and saw Nick waiting nervously.


	Myra was next.  First she spied her husband, shifting his weight from foot to foot, whispering incessantly in Nick's ear.  Although smiling, she shot him a quick, ‘Stand still and don't embarrass us' look, eliciting an immediate response from him.  When Don Schanke looked over at his wife, he seemed to see her for the first time all over again.  ‘Through the years she has been a saint,' he thought.  ‘What have I ever done to deserve her?'  He resolved to remind her how much she meant to him this night, and all the rest of the nights they would share.

	All eyes turned to Natalie.  She waited a second or two before entering the chapel,  drinking in the candlelight and flowers, the fragrance and spirit of the room.  Her gown was simple but elegant, form-fitting satin with a gently flowing skirt.  Over this, she wore a full cape with a hood instead of a veil.  A dressmaker had copied it from a yellowed photograph of her mother's wedding ensemble.  It gave Natalie the look of a woman from another time, a time of chivalry and passion.

	As she started down the aisle, the candlelight granted a soft glow to her attire, reminding Nick more of angel than of flesh.  He looked at her with pride and anticipation as his nerves finally began to settle down.  How could it have happened, this impossible love they had discovered together?  He knew it had been a miracle. He had feared his obsession to regain his mortality would never allow him to love as other men could.  Natalie, however, had other ideas.  Her faith in him was constant, never wavering through all their ups and downs.  Finally, they declared their love and need for each other.  Their words entwined, "I love you.  I have loved you since we first met.  I will love you always.  Now we two will be one."

	In that moment of joy a road had opened before them--the road that would lead them to the rest of their lives, together in love and in faith.  Today was the formal profession of that faith before their friends and before God.  As Natalie glided to Nick's side, her eyes were again filled with love for him.  He prayed a silent prayer that he would always deserve her love, and vowed to return it to her tenfold.

	As the minister began the ceremony, the bride and groom barely heard the words, only the beating of their hearts.  And then a moment of silence. "May this couple, joined together in love and faith, have a future as bright and full of hope as humanly possible.  I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss the bride."  Nick delicately touched the hood of Natalie's cape and slipped it down to her shoulders.  Looking at her beautiful face, he kissed her lips lightly, and then a second time, more deeply.

	Turning to face their friends, they clasped hands and began to walk down the aisle.  Nick whispered softly so that only she could hear, "I love you, Natalie Jean Lambert."

	"I love you, too, Nicholas de Brabant Knight," Natalie responded, "and I'll love you forever."

*********************************************

	"You got everything covered, Schank?" Nick yelled at his partner from the upstairs landing.

	"Relax, Nick.  Have I ever let you down?" Schanke answered, then realized Nick might have a number of different answers for that rhetorical question.

	"Don't *even* go there!" Nick almost growled as he descended the stairs.

	"Everything's okay," Schanke began.  "Grace is taking care of Sidney.  Myra and I are checking the loft for you, and I don't know how you got Cohen to give you so much time off, but she's been humming love songs over the phone again!  A four week honeymoon.  You're going to be begging to come back to work, partner!"

	"Talk to me in a month,"  Nick responded, his mind momentarily wandering.  "Remember we're coming back to Toronto next week before leaving for France."

	"Okay, Okay," Schanke replied.  "Where is it you're going again?"

	"It's a secret."  Nick lowered his voice.  "Now go.  And, Schank?" Nick hesitated.  "Thanks for everything!"

	Don Schanke's face had a look filled with curiosity.  "I want details when you return, Knight.  Details!" he said as he headed for the door.

	Nick looked towards the upper landing and called, "Natalie, we need to get going!"

	Natalie appeared with a small suitcase in her hand.  She had never looked more lovely, Nick thought.  "I'm ready.  Where's Schank?" she asked.

	"Finally gone."  Nick was at her side in a moment.  "Let me help you."  He kissed her on the cheek as he hurried her to the garage.

	"I still don't understand the big mystery," Natalie's voice pleaded for information.  "But I trust you...I think!"

*******************************

	Nick guided the Caddy along Route 27 through the mountains and valleys that were Maine.  He looked down at his bride, who was asleep, resting her head on his shoulder.  The emerging dawn seemed to make her stir.


	"Are we there, yet?" she mumbled.  As her eyes slowly opened, she asked, "And where *is* there?"

	"Almost, love," Nick smiled as he answered.  "Here's the driveway."  Nick turned left onto a small, winding gravel drive that meandered through tall trees before stopping in front of his cabin.  Many things had changed since he had made his last pilgrimage to find peace.  Now the peace was inside him.

	"Nick, it's beautiful!  And the lake's right here!  Is it yours?" Natalie was immediately taken with the surroundings.

	"It's *ours.* I have never brought anyone here before.  I found it in 1946, and, since then, it has always symbolized the peace I was seeking.  Now that I've finally discovered peace--*we've*--finally discovered peace, I had to share this place with you.

	They got out of the car.  Nick took Natalie's hand as they walked to the door.  He stopped momentarily, then picked Natalie up into his arms and carried her over the threshold.  The stone fireplace, rustic furnishings, the smell of pinewoods.  All were just as Nick remembered.  Natalie looked at Nick for a moment.  "I can feel the tranquility, Nick.  I'm so glad you brought me here."

	At that moment, a distinctive green truck with the insignia of the Maine Warden Service pulled up next to the Caddy.  A uniformed man with salt and pepper hair jumped out and almost ran towards the front door.  "Uncle Nick!"  

	"Brian!!  I'm glad to see you!  This is the lady I told you about." Nick could hardly get the words out as he gently put Natalie down.
	
	Brian stared at Natalie and back at Nick.  "I'm so very pleased to meet you, Mrs...uh...," he stammered.

	"Natalie will do just fine, Brian," Natalie replied as she shook his hand and smiled.	

	"When Uncle Nick told me he was getting married, I could hardly believe it," Brian began.  "Now I understand why it took him so long.  I wish Brenda and I could have been there for the wedding, but our first grandchild just arrived last week, and we were needed here."  Brian looked at Nick.  "Congratulations!  I'd better leave you two alone, now.  I was just on my way up to Jim Pond.  Call me at home if you need anything!"  He turned and left.

	"Ah, ‘Uncle' Nick?" Natalie turned her eyes to her husband.

	"It's a long story," Nick sighed.  

	"I have a lifetime...," Natalie answered.

	During the day, they explored the cabin and its surroundings.  They walked hand-in-hand through the woods and on the trails Nick had haunted so many years before.  After a quick dinner of eggs, toast and plenty of orange juice for Nick, they retired to the bedroom.  As Nick joined his wife, he asked, "Nat, now that I am beginning to tolerate the sun a little longer every day, what do you think about storing the Caddy and getting a sports car.  Maybe a Lamborghini Testa Rosa--red?"  

	Natalie let out a long breath.  "I can see the headlines now, ‘Metro Cop on Take--Film at 11.'"  She sighed, "Little boys and their toys."  Her face suddenly took on a serious look.  Nick noticed it immediately.  "Actually, Nick, maybe this is a good time to..." her voice faltered.

	Nick sat straight up, willing her into his embrace.  "What it is, Nat?  Is something wrong?"

	Natalie considered her husband for a moment, then looked straight into his eyes.  "No, I'm fine, but...maybe we'd better make that a Volvo wagon.  We're going to have a baby."  She hesitated.  "With all the plans and activities, I couldn't find a way to tell you until now.  We never talked about children, but I guess this is one more proof that you are *indeed* becoming very mortal again."  

	Nick was caught completely off guard.  He held her close in his arms, rocking her gently.  "I...I...can't believe it, Nat.  Are you sure?  What am I saying, of course, you're sure, you're a doctor...."  He was rambling and happy and surprised and overwhelmed.

	"I went to see my doctor last week," Natalie smiled.  "And, yes, I'm sure."  She gazed deeply into his eyes, looking for affirmation.  "Nick, I need to know that this is what *you* want, too."    

	"Natalie,  I  never dreamed about having children before I met you.  I admit I started to hope it might happen, but..." his voice was breaking.  "I love you, and I love our child."  

	They kissed passionately, enjoying the love they had for each other.  Later, as they dreamed, still nestled in each other's embrace, a ghostly vapor appeared in the room.  The figure floated close to the bed.  It was the crusader knight whose smile cast a warm glow over the scene.  As his misty arms touched the couple, the vision disintegrated into a thousand specks of light, cascading over the sleeping pair. A faint whisper stirred the air. "Welcome home, brother.  Welcome home."
	
THE END

[**I Can't Make You Love Me, If You Don't, copyright 1991 by Almo Music Corp./Brio Blues Music/Hayes Street Music, Inc. (ASCAP), words and music by M. Reid and A. Shamblin.  This song, performed by Bonnie Raitt, appears on her Luck of the Draw and Road Tested albums.]

******************************************************************************
This is my first story.  Be kind.
Mary Lou Manzie, manziemarylou@classic.msn.com
	

*******************************************************************************
For Bernhardt: writing has given me the chance to dream of you once again..I miss you.

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page