What Real Love Is?

by StormyNite


Natalie slid  the loft door open slowly and walked in.   The room was a
mess.  The smell of smoke still permeated the room.  It looked like a war zone.  
Fear clutched her heart as she stepped further into the room.

"Nick?  Nick?"  A single tear ran down her cheek as she stopped in front
of the fireplace.  Her eyes were drawn to the pool of  blood on the floor and what 
was left of Nick's burnt topcoat.  It was his.  She had seen him wear it a hundred 
times.  She dropped hopelessly to the floor and clutched the coat to her breast 
letting the tears turn into sobs as she gave in to the reality.  Nick was dead.  
Divia had come for him and he had lost.  All she  had left was her broken heart 
and a few momemtos of the time they spent together.
 
Nick heard her weeping as he entered the garage.  Skipping the lift he flew at 
vampire speed into the loft.  He stopped short of the couch not to frightened her.  
"Nat!" His voice was almost a whisper as he knelt down beside her touching her 
check softly.  Her tear flooded eyes took in his blue ones as she reached to touch 
his blood smeared face  in disbelief. 

Needing to touch him, she laced her hands behind his head and rested hers on 
his shoulder while the tears continued to flow.  Nick pulled her close as they sat 
on the floor and buried his face in her mass of auburn curls breathing in the 
sweet smell of his beloved Natalie.
 
"I thought I had lost you!"  She kept repeating as she cried.  He kissed
her temples and each of her cheeks finally finishing with her lips.  He
tasted the salt and the love in each kiss until she returned his kiss
completely, giving in to her desire. He wanted so much to feel and relieve her 
grief, he deepened the kiss until passion flared the vampire
within.  

Natalie felt the vampire return as surely as she felt her own
heartbeat, yet she did not fear it.  It was Nick.  A part of him
that she had come to accept, and 'yes', love.  She broke off the kiss and  held 
him close letting him bury his head in her hair.  It was
dangerous she knew, but only another step they had to make if they were
to go forward.  He needed to know she trusted him.  All of him.  "It's
okay, Nick,"  she whispered as he fought to control the beast within.
She ran her hands up the smooth muscles in his back ending in his
silky hair which at the present time was encrusted with dirt and blood
from the evening's events.  As his breathing slowed to normal she
kissed his neck and pulled back to look into his now blue eyes.  He
rested his exhausted forehead on hers as they sat quietly on the floor.
 
Bringing him back to the present, she touched his face gently and kissed
him softly before she spoke.  "I saw the blood and your coat.......I
thought she had killed you.  That I had lost you forever."  Her eyes
pleaded with him for answers.
 
"She tried Nat."  He said softly.  "But I couldn't feel any hate for
her.  She was just an angry child.  I was her revenge against LaCroix.
It was the same feeling I've had for a long time.  When she attacked me, I didn't 
let the vampire fight back.  I just felt pity for her."  He
looked into her eyes and returned her touch. "All I could see was your
face.  Your eyes and the sadness that was there when you left this
evening.  I think it was you who kept the vampire from emerging
and it saved me."  He gently kissed her lips and pulled them both to
their feet in front of the fireplace.  

"She left me for dead and went after LaCroix.  When I woke up, I went to the 
Raven."  He pulled her closer and held her tightly as they stood basking in the 
glow from the fire.  In broken breathes he finished.  "I.....I killed her Nat before 
she could kill LaCroix.  I killed his daughter.  I'm not sure that was what he 
wanted at the time but in the end it was the only solution. I left him burning her 
body.  It's the first time I have ever seen him grieve." 

He slowly broke their embrace and looked into Nat's blue eyes for 
understanding.  "He loved her.  I'm not sure I should have left him, but I needed 
to be with you....Stay with me tonight Natalie.  Let me hold you and feel your 
warmth this night and all through the day."  His eyes pleaded with hers as he 
ran his fingers gently down her cheek.  "I promise I'll keep the vampire at bay.  I 
just....."
 
She touched her fingers to his lips to stop.  "I'm yours, Nicholas
Knight!  There is nothing short of an earthquake that would keep me from
staying with you.  I need you this night just as much as you need me.. but we're 
not ready for that final step.  So if you want me in your arms then we spend the 
night on the couch because I don't trust myself with you on satin sheets."  She 
smiled as she lightly caressed his shoulder.
 
He smiled and pulled her back into his arms.  "Anything Milady wishes.
The couch it is!  But I warn you if you snore, I WILL wake you up."  He
reached down and swept her into his arms and headed for the couch.
 
 -----------------------------------
 2 days later:
 
Nat knelt quietly beside the still form of a former associate, making
copious notes.  Nick and Tracy were interviewing several witnesses who
had found the body. Nick came to Nat's side as she slowly stood. Tearing her 
eyes away from the body, she met his gaze.
 
"What did you find, Nat?"
 
"It's Thomas Fillmore!  He's a noted psychiatrist here in Toronto.  I
can't see any evidence that this was done here.  His arms and legs were
bound and I'm guessing he was poisoned with something.  See the blue
veins in his eyes and the purplish tint to his lips." 

She returned her gaze back to the body.  "Whatever it was, he was in a great 
deal of pain before he died and I don't think he went quickly." Pausing to glance 
back at Nick, Natalie continued.  " I'll know more when I get the toxicology 
report back in a couple of days."  She smiled weakly and touched his shoulder.  
"Stop by the lab after while and I'll let you know if there is anything else." 

She glanced sadly back to what was left of Thomas Fillmore.  "I can't 
understand why anyone would want to torture him.  He was such a pleasant and 
helpful man."  She shook her head and walked back to the car leaving Nick and 
Tracy with yet another set of unanswered questions.
 
Fillmore was the second physician killed in 3 weeks.  Did they have a
serial killer here or was it just a coincidence?  Nick didn't believe in
coincidence when it came to murder.  Especially when the first doctor
had been overdosed with some unknown drug they had yet to identify.
 
 -------------------------
 
He stood calmly on the balcony watching the proceeding below.   He was a
tall muscular man with brown hair and green eyes.  Handsome, most
women would say, but then again he wasn't interested in any woman, just
one.  He let his thoughts run wild as he stared.  It was her.  He would recognize 
her anywhere.  She hadn't changed...well, if anything age had made her even 
more beautiful.  He remembered those outrageous auburn curls and those 
beautiful blue eyes as if it were yesterday.   She had been his then, and only his, 
but he had  messed it up. Well, not this time.  This time he would make her 
understand just how much she meant to him.  This time they would be together 
forever and nothing would stand in his way.  She was the reason  he took the 
teaching assignment at the University.  He needed time to win her back and 
make her his again.

The blonde cop beside her must be  Knight.  The detective he hired informed 
him that they were close.  How  close, he wasn't sure since information about 
Nick Knight was sketchy at  best, aside from all the documented police profile 
information.  Kyle Stephens stood staring at the picture of Nick in his hand as 
he continued to monitor the scene below his hotel room balcony.  

Nick  Knight: blonde, blue-eyed, 6'1 and 180lbs with a severe allergy to the sun.  
He was permanent night shift, named Partner of Month, Partners of the Year,  
Detective of the Year, Mayor's Recognition Award for Valor, the highest 
conviction rate in all Toronto PD, as well as Metro Homicide.  The guy was a 
bonafide hero after the Toronto Bomber scare and mentioned in  numerous 
reports to have apprehended a variety of  felons at great personal risk.  

Rumors at the precinct placed Nick and Natalie much closer than friends, but 
nothing was ever concrete with rumors.  Kyle knew that.  If Nick and Natalie 
were lovers then he would just have to dispose of him in his own way.  After all, 
he was  a licensed psychiatrist.  There were a thousand ways to play mind games 
with  someone and he knew them all.   Tonight was the night he would begin 
his plan. Tonight Natalie Lambert would begin her journey back into his arms 
where she belonged.
 
End Part (1/?)

What Real Love Is?
 Part (2/?)
 
Kyle had followed Natalie home from a discreet distance.  At least that
was where he thought she was going.  First, she stopped at the all night
cleaners,  then the bagel shop, the corner grocery, the video store and
finally turned west on 9th street for the warehouse district.  She
pulled up outside a large warehouse, killed the lights and jumped out
of the car.  Holding one bag of groceries in her arm she reached over to
hit the access panel outside.  The door lock released and she
disappeared within.  Several minutes later, the lights burned brightly
from the top floor and shadows could be seen through the windows.
Kyle sat confused.  This was not the address the detective had given him
for Dr. Natalie Lambert, MD.

It was nearly dawn when a '62 Caddie pulled around the corner and the
garage door lifted quietly.  Kyle stared in amazement as Nick, still
wearing his sunglasses, pulled into the garage.  The sun was just about
to touch the horizon when Kyle noticed the shades on the second floor
automatically close. She had gone to Nick's place after work.  She
didn't return to her place but directly to his.  Obviously, their
relationship was far more than platonic and Kyle was prepared to know
just how much more.

Near 10am Natalie returned to her car.  Kyle awoke slowly when he heard
the engine turnover across the street.  Kyle watched her closely to
determine where she would go.  Knight didn't follow her down to the car,
so the report must be accurate about his allergy to the sun.  After all,
not many people wore sunglasses at 6am in the morning when the sun had
not even crested the horizon.  Kyle turned on his ignition and followed
her at a discreet distance.  She made one stop at the post office and
the chance he had been looking for had finally arrived.

Nat parked and locked the car in front of the post office and carried
two packages into the main lobby to be posted.  She promised Nick she
would get them out this morning.  She casually looked over the mailing
address of Nick's friend Jack, in Paris, as she stood in line.  After
waiting a few minutes and posting the packages she headed back to the
car, only to have the front door of  the post office opened for her by a handsome 
man in his mid thirties.   She glanced at him to say thank you when she stopped 
dead in her tracks and stared into Kyle's green eyes.

"Kyle?  Kyle Stephens?  Is that really you?"  Natalie dropped her keys
from her fingers in astonishment.  Trying to get control of the emotions
that seemed to bombard her, she stood transfixed looking into his green
eyes.  She was speechless.  Kyle casually leaned down to pick up her
keys.  When he stood, he gently took her hand and placed them in it, never once 
releasing her eyes from his.
 
"You haven't changed, Natalie.  You're as beautiful as ever."  Kyle held
her hand gently for an extended time until Natalie noticed his hand on
hers.  Embarrassed and a little shaken, she pulled her hand with the
keys from his.
 
Almost in a whisper she spoke.  "What are you doing here, Kyle? Are you
visiting?"  The question was not only in her words but in her whole face.

He should have known she would be skeptical of a chance meeting.  Once
again he had underestimated her.  She had not changed in that respect and he 
would remember that from now on.
 
Kyle tried matching his emotions to what he thought hers were before he
responded.  He wanted her to feel in his words what she had missed.  He
had spent months rehearsing this scene.  Now it was time to make all
that practice pay off.  He cast his eyes to the ground temporarily  and
then returned to hers.  Just enough to make him appear a little
uncomfortable at their situation before he responded.  "I'm living here,
Natalie.  At...At least for the next 3 months.  I'm teaching over at
the University."  He brightened his face as if proud of his
accomplishments.  "They asked me to teach a course on Drugs with
Psychiatric Care."  He smiled a dazzling smile that took Nat back all
the way to their first years in Med School when she was mesmerized by
him.
 
"That's...That's nice, Kyle."  She almost stumbled through the sentence.

"Look, Natalie, I know we didn't part on pleasant terms and this is quite 
uncomfortable for you, but that is all in the past.  We are different people 
now...At least I am.  Those days of deceit and lies are all behind me.  I have a 
wonderful practice in California and when this
opportunity was offered to me, I knew that all my work was paying off.  I  have 
made up for all those mistakes so long ago."  He started staring at the concrete 
floor below him trying to appear humble. Then he started
again before he returned her gaze.
 
"I knew I would see you again if I came here.  I followed your career.
You were the youngest ME ever appointed in Canada, let alone a woman.
That's quite an accomplishment.  It even made the California papers
since you went to Med School there.  I thought just maybe after all this
time you had forgiven me."  He looked into her eyes expectantly.  "If
I'm wrong, then I'll back off.  I just thought that if we ever met again
we could at least be friends."  He sighed heavily as if he just
finished a well rehearsed speech.
 
Natalie stood speechless through his little narration analyzing his
facial expression and body movements.  It was possible for anyone to
change.  She knew that. After all she was trying to help a vampire
become mortal again.  If Nick could change, maybe Kyle could as well,
but she would not make any rash decisions.  As the memories started to
flood to her mind's eye, she forcefully pushed them back.  It was another time, 
another life.  She did not want to go back, but could she see Kyle without them 
resurfacing and clouding her feelings toward him? She did not know.
 
"I...I honestly don't know, Kyle.  That was a lifetime ago.  I don't know  if we 
can start all over again."
 
"That's fair enough, Natalie.  At least you're being honest with me. All
I'm asking is to give it a chance.  You're my one true regret in life
and I want a chance to make it up to you.  Please?"  He slowly lifted
her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it gently as he let his
bright green eyes flirt with hers.
 
Natalie was embarrassed and removed her hand gently but not to quickly.
"Well, we'll see Kyle.  Everyone changes and  I  try to give everyone a
second chance, but that's all.  Understand?"  She was in control again.
Her eyes and body both said so.  She would give him a chance out of
respect for her old feelings for him, but if he screwed it up again he
was history.  She glanced at her watch.
 
"I've got to go, Kyle.  I haven't been to bed yet and I'm do  back at
work at 7 tonight."  She smiled and pulled her hand completely free of
his.  As she started to walk away he touched her elbow to stop her.

"Can I call you?  Dinner maybe or just a drink?"  His eyes pleaded with
hers.
 
"It's a place to start Kyle....a place to start."  She said quietly
before she turned back to her car.
 
 ----------------------
 That evening:
 
Natalie finished her shower.  She wished she could have said she slept,
but that would have been lying.  She went to bed and tossed for several
hours until she finally gave up and padded to the kitchen.  Sydney was
confused to see his mistress up at this time of day.  After all, she was
a night creature just like himself. She finally gave into the memories
and let them flow as she scooped up Sydney and headed for the couch.  It
had been so long.  Near 4pm a dozen red roses were delivered to her
door.  The card simply read: To Friendship.  He hadn't signed his name
only those two simple words, but it was Kyle.  The simplicity touched
her and she let herself drift back to happier times.
 
 -------------------
 
Nick sat quietly at his desk going over Natalie's latest toxicology
report on the first physician that had died 3 weeks ago.  He was looking for  a 
connection.  Something that would tie them together.  Aside from the similarity 
of both physicians being psychiatrists they had nothing in  common.  Different 
schools, different patients, different methods of
treating their patients according to Nat.  Deep in thought as he
continued to sift though the interviews, his phone rang repeatedly.
Tracy walked into the room still carrying her coat and noticed Nick's
concentration, so she picked up the phone.
 
"Metro Homicide-Nick Knight's desk!"  She smiled as Nick finally noticed
her standing in front of his desk with his phone to her ear.  "Yes, he's
here.  Just a second!"  She handed him the phone and returned to her
desk to hang up her coat.
 
"Knight!  No, Grace, I don't.   She was with me untill about 10am.  She
didn't call?"  Tracy watched Nick's face intently. Something was wrong.

"Nick, I tried her house, there is no answer and she's not returning her
page.  I'm scared." Grace was becoming frantic.
 
"I'm gone, Grace.  I'll call you when I know something."  Nick put the
phone down and grabbed his coat in one motion.
 
"Nick, what's the problem?" Trace was by his side in seconds.
 
"Nat didn't call or show up for work.  There's no answer at her house
and she's not returning her pages.  I'm going to go to her place and see
what's up."  There was genuine fear in his eyes.  Tracy had never seen that 
before.  Nick was always in control. Spaced out at times, but always in control.  
Fear was something that never crossed her partner's face.  All her instincts were 
right.  Nick and Nat were more than just friends, no matter what the office 
gossip told her.
 
"I'm going with you!"  She grabbed her coat.
 
"No, Trace!  You run the hospital admits for today and see if you find
anything." He turned to leave and then stopped.  "And...then the morgue
admits all over Toronto."  The words physically hurt when he spoke them.

"Nick, I'm sure we would have been called.  All the coroners know
Natalie.  She came to his side and touched his shoulder. "They would
have called!"
 
He smiled. "Thanks, Trace, I needed that.  And you're right, they would
have called.   I'll let you know as soon as I find out anything."
 
Once out of the building Nick took to the air.  No time to drive.  He
said a silent pray as he launched himself skyward.

 End Part (2/?)
 What  Real Love Is?



What  Real Love Is?
Part (3/?)
 
Nick rang the doorbell repeatedly, and when Nat didn't answer he used
his key.  She would have been pissed if he broke the door or used
another means that might draw attention to his unusual abilities.  He
could  hear her heartbeat.   He knew it as well as he knew his
own name.  He called her name softly as he came through the door in
order not to startle her.
 
"Nat?"  He could see her sitting calmly on the couch petting Sydney. She was 
there...but not there.  Cautiously he walked over and knelt
down in front of her.  She was somewhere else.  She wasn't even aware
that he was there. < Was this what I do when I space out?  Is this
what I look like when I do it?>
 
Nick gently touched her hand as she petted Sydney in her lap, forcing her to stop 
and Sydney to jump down.   "Nat...you have to come back to me now."  He
continued to rub her hand between his fingers and placed his other on
her cheek.  "Nat....come on, you're scaring me here.  Come back to me.
Nat?"  He continued to stroke her face until her eyes finally locked
with his.
 
"Nick?  What are you doing here?"  She could see the fear in his face and she 
reached out to touch him.  "Are you all right?"  The doctor just
kicked in.
 
He smiled and pulled her into his arms as they stood up.  "I should be
asking you that question."  He pushed her to arms length to stare into
her eyes and make sure she was still with him.  The questions were in
her eyes and he sighed with relief.  "If you're going to tell me that's
what I am like when I space out on you, then I think I should get some
counseling really quick."  He smiled and pulled her back into his
embrace.
 
Glancing at her wristwatch she realized it was late.  She finally found her 
tongue. "Why are you here, Nick?"
 
He stared into her blue eyes realizing she was unaware of what had
happened. "Nat, it's 9:30pm.  You didn't call in sick, Grace was frantic
and I lost at least 100 years.  We thought something had happened to
you.  What did happen?  You were somewhere else when I came in."  His
blue eyes locked with hers.
 
She pulled away from him and sank back to the couch.  Not quite sure how
to explain what happened, she looked hesitantly toward the dozen red
roses on the coffee table.  Nick followed her gaze and pulled the card.
It only left more questions.  For both Nick and herself.  "They're
from Kyle!  Kyle Stephens, my ex-fiancee"  There, she had said it.
 
"Do you want to talk about it?"  Nick knelt down in front of her and
took both her hands into his cool ones and awaited her answer.
 
"Book off work, Nick!  I need a friend tonight!"  Her eyes spoke of need
and pain as she gently pulled her hands from his and touched his face.
"I need to be with someone who can understand my fears and my heart."
 
Nick opened his jacket and pulled out his cell phone.  5 seconds later
Tracy came on line.  "Trace!  Nick."
 
"Is Natalie all right, Nick?" Tracy interjected when she heard his voice.
 
"She's fine, Trace.  Can you do me a favor and call Grace. Tell her
Nat's fine and won't be coming in tonight.  And then tell the
Captain I'm booking off the rest of the night."
 
"Is everything okay, Nick?"  Tracy could feel the tension in his voice.
 
"It's fine Trace.  Nat's not feeling to well and she needs some company,
so just tell the Captain I got ill and had to go home.  He'll scream
but....."
 
"I'll take care of it, Nick.  Just tell Nat to feel better."  Tracy hung
up the phone and dialed Grace in the morgue.
 
Nick put his cell phone back in his pocket and smiled.  "Now, let me
make you some tea and then we can talk."  He pulled her to her feet and
guided her to the kitchen table, where he held out a chair for her to sit.  Moving 
into the kitchen, he pulled out the tea kettle and started the water boiling.
 
Nat studied Nick as he worked.  She never noticed before, but he wasn't
totally unaccustomed to working in the kitchen.  His cooking skill
weren't the greatest, but he always came through in a pinch. 

She wasn't sure how he took the news.  He was always so guarded when it came 
to his feelings.  After seeing Kyle again today, she knew it was time to talk 
about it.  It was time to put the past behind her and evaluate what she really 
wanted in this mortal life.  Nick sat the tea cup down on the table and watched 
her intently while she spaced off on him again.
 
"Come on Nat, let's go back into the living room and you can tell me as
much or as little as you want."  He offered her his hand and picked up
the tea cup with the other.  Together they sat down on the couch both
feeling a little awkward and uncomfortable.
 
"Nick?"  Nat's eyes spoke of painful memories and need.
 
Nick pulled Nat into his arms and just held her for what seemed like an
eternity without speaking.  Slowly Nat turned to face the window, still
in Nick's arms.  She needed to go back and face her fears and she needed
his support.  Only Nick could understand how she felt.  So the best
place to start was at the beginning.
 
"I loved him.  Really hopelessly loved him." She waited for his
reaction.  He simply pulled her closer into his arms and placed his head
next to hers.
 
"Go on, Nat!  It's time." He whispered softly in her ear and planted a
gently kiss to her temple.
 
"I was in my second year of Med School in California.  Kyle was a 1st
year resident.  He had already decided on Psychiatry.  I was working my
second rotation through the Pathology Department.  We got all the
unusual specimens from throughout the State sent to the lab for analysis.  It was 
a wonderful teaching institution.  Kyle brought me samples several days a week 
from the Psychiatric Department from patients that had volunteered for several 
drug studies." 


Nat snuggled closer into Nick's arms for support and then continued. "We hit it 
off immediately, but I was leery.  After my Mother passed away, it was just my 
sister, Theressa, and myself in an apartment.  Theressa was still in high school 
so she moved in with me because Richie was in law school.  I just didn't have 
time for men, but Kyle was a charmer.  He was handsome, witty, concerned, 
conscientious, hard working and most of all, a romantic.  I tried to stop myself 
but it was too late.  I fell madly in love with him.  We dated for 6 months and by 
that time, Theressa had given us the bedroom permanently.  We were 
unseperatable when we had time off.  Those were the happiest days of my life 
then.  I had discovered my calling in medicine, and Kyle.  Nothing could have 
marred it."
 
Natalie had drifted into the past as she talked.  She was reliving it
again.  She was happy.  Nick could see it on her face as she continued.
 
"And then on June 12, 1987 he asked me to marry him.  I was deliriously
happy.  Nothing could have made me happier.  It was a little fast, but
then our time together always seemed so measured.   We talked only a
little about work and then only the unusual cases we worked on.  We were
perfect together. Everyone said so.  We were the match made in heaven
destined to last throughout eternity and then it happened..."  She
stiffened in Nick's arms and leaned into him for support.  He wrapped his arms 
completely around her as she brought her hand up to caress his
forearms while he held hers.
 
"What happened, Nat?"

"I couldn't sleep one night.  I was losing data on my computer
periodically.  It wasn't continually, just occasionally.  It was
bothering me that maybe I was not doing something right.  Computers have
never been my strong point.  Kyle was working the graveyard shift and I was on 
evenings.  Theressa was visiting friends so I was home alone.  Kyle and I  would 
see each other only in the early morning.  It was hard on our relationship but he 
said he was obligated to work so many mid shifts." She was reliving the whole 
scene in her mind as she spoke.
 
 *****************flashback************
I opened the door to see Kyle sitting at my computer with his back to
me.  Assuming he was just making notes to himself about a few cases in
order not to forget, I glanced over his shoulder and noticed that he was
deleting files and notes on patients of mine.  I was stunned.  Then it
hit me.  All those graveyard shifts were requested by Kyle.  Then, as
if he knew I was there he turned to face me.
 
"Nat, did I wake you?"  Kyle was so calm it was almost scary.  He turned
on his best 'considerate and please forgive me' look.  "I knew I
shouldn't have taken the time to make these notes.  I was too noisy
right?"  He stood up and pulled Natalie into his embrace while she
stared at the computer screen.  "Let me put you back to bed and then
I'll finish up here later."  He slowly ran his thumb down her face in a
very tender motion and kissed her gently on the lips.  "I'm sure we can
find better things to do since you're awake."  He seductively trailed his fingertips 
down to her breasts and squeezed gently.
 
As if finally coming out of a stupor, she pulled back out of his arms
and shoved him away.  "Don't try that on me, Kyle!   Who the Hell do you
think you're kidding.  Those are my files you are into."  The realization of what 
he was doing finally hit her.  "I haven't been losing files on patients slide results.  
You've been deleting them!"  Natalie staggered slightly and found the edge of 
the couch to keep from falling down.  She looked at the man she loved in 
disbelief.  His expression never changed. Was he really that good or was she just 
blind?
 
"What have you done, Kyle?"  She wanted to believe this was all a
mistake.  She wanted to believe in him.
 
Kyle went to her and tried to pull her into his arms but she pushed him
away. "It was just this once, Natalie.  The drugs weren't supposed to hurt 
anyone.  They said if I eliminated all traces of the files they would  forget how 
much I owed them."   He actually looked like he was ready to cry, but she 
couldn't trust that now.

 
"Owe them, Kyle?  Who?  What are you talking about?"  She wanted to
believe him but she needed all the facts.
 
"These two drug companies paid for my schooling.  It was supposed to be a loan 
but they said if I didn't...."
 
"You took money from drug companies to pay for school?  That's grounds
for expulsion.  You know that!"  She was almost screaming at him.
 
"I had no choice, Natalie!"  He needed her to see his desperation; to
understand.  "I couldn't live like a pauper and get everything I needed
without help.  I didn't have any scholarships.  I was on my own.  I had
to live.  It was the only way."  He reached for her again. She slapped
his hands away as the anger began to rise.  "It was only this one time!
I swear it!"
 
Natalie pushed away from him and walked to the door.  "Get out Kyle."
It was a command not a request.  "I need time to think."
 
Kyle gently kissed her cheek as he silently left.

 *******************************

End Part 3

What Real Love Is?
Part (4/?) 
 
 The tears rolled silently down her cheek.  The pain from the memories
 were more than emotional.  Nick could physically feel her anguish and it
 tore at his heart.  "Finish it, Nat.  You have to get it all out to deal
 with it."  She shook her head in agreement.
 
 "I know, Nick.  I know. I thought I was over it, but I guess you never
 get over betrayal,  do you?"  She turned and looked hopefully into his
 eyes.
 
 "Given enough time and love, Nat, you can accomplish anything.  You
 taught me that.  Maybe you should practice some of your own medicine.
 What happened after he left?"
 
 "I sat down at the computer to see what files he had discarded.  They
 were the drug tissue samples from the Psych Ward.  The patient had died
 several days before and they just ordered  standard tissue slides.  No one had 
paid much attention to them.  So I started looking for others.  I couldn't
 find anything else missing, but I was skeptical so I called a computer
 friend of mine and ask him to come over.  By 10am he had recovered most
 of the files that were missing over the past 8 months.  Kyle had
 been deleting them systematically.  Each time the files would disappear,
 he had worked the graveyard shift.  Ever since the day we had moved in 
together. He had used me!"  The pain of betrayal was in her voice as she
 finished.  "He came to me twice that day trying to assure me it was only
 once.  When I confronted him with it, he called me a scheming bitch and
 left.  I was devastated.  He had used me for his pipeline into the
 tissue lab.  I had to know why."
 
 "What happened to the patients?"  Nick tried to keep her on track and in
 control of her emotions.
 
 "I took 4 days off and went digging for answers.  Finally I found the
 connection.  Each one of the patient's samples had traces of an unknown
 drug in their tissue when they died.  They came from various department
 throughout the hospital.  They were not tied to just the Psych Ward.
 None of the patients were aware of any new drug therapy.  They were all
 terminal, except the last one.  When they died, a complete autopsy was
 not performed.   I learned that the drug companies were using certain
 patients that fit their profile as guinea pigs for this new drug.
 Whether they died from the drug or their original condition, no one
 knows. But the last patient was definitely poisoned by the drug because
 his condition was not terminal.   I checked Kyle's rotation schedule.
 Each time a patient died,  he had been on shift.  There was no proof
 that he was on their floor, but I was horrified.  The man I loved and whom I
 thought loved me not only had used me from the day we met, but he was also a
 murderer."
 
 "What did you do?"  Nick caressed her hair as he spoke and she leaned
 into his hands before she continued.
 
 "He begged me to cover for him in the name of 'our love'.  That was a
 joke!  Our love was just one sided, and I couldn't bring myself to go
 against my oath to save lives.  I turned all the information over to the
 hospital administrator.  Kyle swore I planted the evidence on him.  In
 the end they couldn't prove he had actually given the patients the drug,
 but his bank account was extremely large and all his tuition had been paid
 up to date by some unknown benefactor.  All very vague, nothing
 concrete.  He was asked to leave the program.  There was no proof of my
 involvement and the police exonerated me completely.  The hospital
 administrator  and the police told me I was wasting my talents in just
 pathology that I should be in forensics pathology.  My information was
 enough for them to arrest several members of the drug companies but
 not enough to nail Kyle.  He walked away from the hospital, the
 consequences, and me.  I hadn't spoken to him since ....until yesterday."
 Natalie sagged into Nick's arms.
 
 " He wants to make up for his past mistakes.  He says I'm the one true
 regret in his life.  He wants us to be friends if I can give him a
 second chance."
 
 Nick turned Natalie to face him and ran his fingertips down her moist
 cheeks as he softly spoke the question that scared him more than he
 cared to admit. "What do YOU want Nat?"
 
 She looked into eyes and saw how much he wanted to protect her, but
 there was more.   Was it her fear or his?  Did she really have an
 answer?  Would he be there for her no matter what her answer might be.
 Never letting her eyes leave his she whispered,  "I don't know....I
 honestly don't know."
 
 The indecision in her voice tore at his heart more than a stake ever
 could. He pulled her close and buried his head in her mass of curls, not
 only comforting her but himself as well.  "You have to do what makes you
 happy, Nat!  That's all that matters now."  He broke the embrace and made
 her look at him before he continued.  "Some people change, some don't.
 If you didn't believe that, you and I wouldn't be here tonight.  You know
 that."  He smiled that boyish grin she loved.  "Very few of us have no
 regrets in our life.  Why should you be any different?"
 
 "A part of me will always love him and the time we had together,
 but...."
 
 Nick made her look him in the eyes before he spoke.  "That was the past,
 this is now.  You're not the same person you were then.  You have to
 decide what THIS Natalie wants and go from here.  Then and only then can
 you go on with your life.  Isn't that what you been preaching to me when
 I go angsty on you?  'Recognize it, feel it and get over it, Nick.' I
 quote from the Natalie Lambert psychological manual for guilt ridden
 vampires."  She finally smiled and then laughed.
 
 "You're trying to say I should practice what I preach, Nick Knight!"
 
 "Yup!  Now come on.  You are going to bed and I am going home because
 it's almost dawn and you know how I feel about being french fried."  He
 pulled her up to a standing position and  swept her into her arms.
 
 "Nick, what are you doing?"  She chuckled and clung to his neck never
 letting her eyes leave his.
 
 "Rescuing a young maiden from that treacherous walk to the bedroom!"  he
 replied in his best knightly voice as he jostled her which caused her to
 laugh.  He loved her laugh.  His Natalie was back and she would get past
 this.  They both would.  Nick ensconced Nat in her bed and covered her
 to her chin planting a parting kiss on her forehead.  She finally
 relaxed as he turned out the lights.  "See you tomorrow, Nat.  Call me if
 you need anything!"
 
 "Nick!"
 
 With his extraordinary night vision he could see her smiling in the dark
 when he turned.
 
 "Thanks for being here.  It means a lot to me."
 
 "What are friends for?"  He blew her a kiss and shut the door.
 
 ------------
 Kyle watched from his car as Nick pulled away from Natalie's apartment.
 He slammed his hand on the dash in frustration.  Knight had been there
 all night.  This was going to be harder than he thought.


End Part 4


Part 5
 What Real Love Is!
 
 Nick pulled away from Nat's apartment at 5:45am, flipped open his
 cell phone and dialed Tracy.  The sun was up in 15 minutes and that
 meant he would have to hurry.  Tracy answered  on the second ring.
 
 "Trace, it's Nick."
 
 "Hi Nick!  Is Nat doing better?"  Tracy was concerned for both Natalie
 and her partner. She was becoming even more aware of how close the two
 of them had become.
 
 "She's better now.  I put her to bed and I am on my way home.  Anything
 happen tonight aside from the Captain screaming his head off about me?"
 Nick smiled when he envisioned Reese's neck veins popping out when
 Trace told him he was going home sick.
 
 "There was another one tonight, Nick.  They found another physician dead
 in his home over in the LaFont Square area.  Only this time he was not a
 psychiatrist. It came over the wire and the Captain pitched it on my
 desk.  I called Jerry down at South to see if he had examined the body
 for poisoning.   He said purple lips, blue veins and extreme rigamortus
 not approximate for the suggested time of death.  We have a  serial
 here.  I'm checking patients, and pleasure activities to see if we can
 find a link here aside from them being physicians.   Oh, Natalie
 was right about the toxicology too.  It came back tonight and Grace
 brought it up.  It was some chemical combination that no one had heard
 of, but it was a neuro enhancer. According to Jerry that means 
 what ever  happens in the body  is magnified  at least 1000 percent.  These guys
 died in agony.  Any ideas where else to check?"
 
 "Drop the toxicology report over to Jan and have her email it to me so I
 can look at it before I turn in.  Then check the drug companies here in Canada 
and in the States that are doing research on experimental neuro transmitters.  
Get me a list.  Maybe that's how all these Docs are connected.  Email me
when you get the lists and I'll check them out.... and Trace....thanks for
covering for Nat and I tonight.  I appreciate it."
 
 "You owe me one now, partner, and I will collect.   See you tonight."
 Nick smiled as the line went dead.  They were turning out to be a pretty
 good team.
 
 Why did he suspect the pharmaceutical companies?  Was it because of
 Nat's story tonight about Kyle?  Why was Kyle here now after all
 these years and suddenly there are numerous dead bodies showing up.  Nick 
decided to put his thoughts into action and flipped open his laptop and 
connected on-line with the police computer system.  First he would check out 
one Kyle Stephens, MD. and then he would check for other similar cases filed
 in the US as well as Canada.  If there was a connection, he would find
 it. So much for getting any rest today. The toxicology report and Tracy's
 pharmaceutical list dropped in his mailbox when he finished checking the
 rest of his mail. Finally he turned to a database search when his buzzer
 rang.  Glancing at his watch he noted it was only 7:30am. Walking over to the 
security scanner, Nick flipped on the viewer to check out his guest.
 
 A tall dark man stood casually at the door not realizing he was on a
 monitor. Nick watched him intently for a few moments trying to ascertain
 him as friend or foe.  He could not sense him as one of his kind and his
 heartbeat was erratic, probably due to his nervousness.  "Can I help
 you?" Nick's voice came clearly through the top speaker above the
 monitor.  When he spoke the man looked up and noticed the monitor.
 
 "Uh, well, uh....my name is Kyle Stephens and I wanted to talk with you
 Detective Knight about Natalie."  He stared directly into the monitor no
 longer nervous but almost challenging.  "Can we talk?"
 
 "Take the lift inside to the top floor."  Nick released the security
 lock and Kyle stepped into the garage.
 
 Kyle noticed Nick's collection of cars and motorcycles as he entered the
 warehouse.  He was amazed at what he saw.  Nick was a collector of old things,
 that much was obvious as Kyle found the lift and pressed up.  He wasn't
 quite sure how to approach Knight, but doubt in oneself is always so
 easy to impart.  This would be step one in his plan.  The lift stopped
 and Kyle slide open the lift door to enter the loft.
 
 Nick stood by the fireplace sipping a glass of bloodwine while he waited
 for his uninvited guest to arrive.  This was not a good idea and Nick
 knew it, but if Stephens had anything to do with these cases, he had to
 know.  Maybe talking here was better than down at headquarters where Nat 
would find out.  She had enough doubts about Kyle's motives. Adding another 
would only make things harder for her.
 
 Kyle entered the loft and stood motionless while his eyes adjusted to
 the dim lighting.  After a few minutes, he began to take in his
 surroundings.  This was not what he expected.  He thought the old car
 and motorcycle collection was impressive, but he was not prepared for
 what he saw up here.  Nick was a  collector and apparently an artist as
well.  Kyle walked over to the painting Nick had stopped working on a
 week ago, waiting for it to dry.  Knight was obviously more than just a police
 detective.  One did not own what was present in this place on a
 detective's salary.  Neither man spoke as Nick walked toward Kyle as he
 stood admiring the painting. Nick positioned himself between  Kyle and
 his latest work causing Kyle to initiate eye contact.  Kyle was
 unprepared for the man that stood before him.  Nick was almost animal-
like when he moved. He gave you the distinct feeling you were a
 rabbit being sized up for the kill.  There was something about him that
 made you immediately uneasy.  Was this intentional? Could he plant seeds
 of doubt in this man?  Maybe his plan needed a little fine tuning after
 meeting his adversary face to face.
 
 Nick could sense Kyle unease and it pleased him immensely.  Was he just
 being childish or was he jealous of this man because of his past
 relationship with Nat. He had deliberately used his subtle vampire
 skills to create indecision and uncertainty.  Nick could play mind games
 with the best, after all, he had been trained by LaCroix.  Still not
speaking he locked eyes with Kyle and patiently waited.
 
 "Uh...I feel a little awkward about this."  Kyle continued staring at
 Nick, awaiting a response and then finally cast his eyes to the floor in
 an effort to appear submissive.
 
 Nick recognize the tactic immediately having used it multiple times with
 LaCroix.  It was a way to evaluate, regroup and regain control of the
 situation. It worked well with someone who had a great deal at stake,
 but why would this man try to use it on him.  What did he have to gain or
 control.  They were not rivals for Nat's affection or maybe....
 
 "What is it you want, MR. STEPHENS?"  Nick controlled his voice as well
 as emotions.  He needed answers not only about the dead physicians, but
 why he was here.
 
 "I want to talk about Natalie.  She...She told you who I am?"  Kyle let
 his eyes move back to Nick's as he worked diligently to hide the smile
 behind a sincere 'concerned for others look'. He spent hours at a mirror
 perfecting it for patients. Why not use it to his own personal benefit as
 well?  Submissive demeanor creates compassion in almost all people and
 once you have them feeling sorry for you, control is yours.  But Knight
 was not necessarily compassionate, just curious and that would do in this
 case.
 
 "I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.  I came by her place this
 morning and saw you drive off.  I have a friend in the DMV and they ran
 your plates.  Well, actually he didn't even do that once I told him it
 was a '62 Caddie with fins.  He told me it belonged to you and that you
 were a detective out of Metro Homicide. When I came to Toronto  a month
 ago, I looked Natalie up through friends. She told you I'm sure of our
 past relationship?" Kyle said the last remark more as a question than a
 statement.  

Natalie had never been very open about her past with him.  He was sure that had 
not changed.  Mystery in a woman always added spice in Kyle's opinion. 

 "Well, when I ran into her again today she seemed upset so I thought I would 
check on her.  When I saw you leave I wasn't sure if she was okay. Since you 
were a cop, I figured if something was wrong you would know.  Is she all right?"  
Kyle was the picture of concern.
 
 Nick was baffled by the man before him.  Did Kyle actually believe he'd think 
they had been seeing each other behind his back?  That Nat had not told him the 
whole story.  Just how far would this man go?  Lies? Deceit? Murder?  What 
was in it for him?  Maybe it was time for Detective Knight to enter this 
conversation.
 
 Purposely not answering Kyle's question, Nick turned and walked back to
 the fireplace before he spoke.  "I think possibly, Kyle...." Nick turned
 away from the fireplace and locked eyes with him again, "that you have
 saved me a trip.  What do you know about a drug company called Faraday
 Pharmaceuticals and neuro enhancers?"  Nick raised one eyebrow in a
 quizzical look.  Faraday was one of the pharmaceuticals houses on the
 list emailed to him from Trace before she left for the night.
 
 It was first denial and then avoidance of the question.  Kyle was
 thrilled.  Nick was playing right into his hands.  All he needed was
 seeds of doubt in the young detective and nature would take it's course.
 Of course, in this case it was his course as well.  But what did this
 pharmaceutical company have to do with unless......Kyle experienced a
 twinge of doubt.  There was no way Natalie would have admitted how bad
 he used her in Med School.  Her pride wouldn't let her.  He knew her.
 So he would play his next move.
 
 "Look Detective, I can see this was a mistake.  I thought you would want
 what was best for her.  That's why I came.  I guess I was wrong.  She
 will have to decide which one of us she wants.  I'll admit it.  I hired
 a detective to check you out and it scared me to read your file.  You
 are a target waiting for a bullet.  They said she almost lost it when
 you were shot last year.  I just thought that if you had any feelings
 for her at all you would not want her to suffer through that again.  I
 guess I was wrong."  Kyle buttoned his coat as he turned to leave.
 When he reached the lift door he turned to Nick one last time.  "I
 intend to marry her, Detective, and I will make her happy with no worry
 that I'll walk out that door and never return.  I'll give her that white
 house with 2 kids she always wanted and make her happy until we are both
 old and gray.  Goodnight, Detective... it's been an enlightening but
 short conversation."  Kyle slide the lift door closed and hit down.
 
 The gold flecks edged Nick's eyes as he fought to control the beast.  He
 wanted desperately to break this man's neck, yet there were too many
 truths in Kyle's final farewell that landed right at his feet.  It was
 true he couldn't give Natalie what she truly deserved and wanted, at
 least not now.  How many times had he thought about leaving without
 saying goodbye.  True it was to protect her, but still he knew the
 results.  The pain it would cause her was what kept him there.
 He had no regrets, but did she?  If she could chose to do it all over
 again, would she even chose to be his friend let alone anything else?
 Was he fooling himself when he thought of them as an 'US'? 

 In his heart he knew Natalie had not been seeing Kyle, but could he ever
 let her go?  Could he set her free if it made her happy with any man.    He 
couldn't answer that.  It hurt too much to think about the alternative.
 Maybe sleep was more the answer now or at least an escape.
 
 ---------------------
 
 Kyle strolled to his car whistling a tune.  His plan had been a success.
 Personal doubt was so easy to create and he was the master.  Now on to
 phase two.

-End Part 5

Part (6/?)
What Real Love Is?
 
Natalie sighed heavily, stripped her gloves off and threw them in the 
biohazard disposal.  It was a long autopsy on a young man that shouldn't
have died. She had been meticulous in her examination, looking for
potential signs of violence or cause of death besides a heart attack.
None existed in this case.  The young man apparently had been born with
a bad heart that no one knew about and the stress from physical exercise
on the racquetball court caused a massive MI.  It seemed  like such a
waste.  She sat down at her desk to write up the report when a delivery
man knocked hesitantly at the door.

"Come in.  I won't bite!"  Nat chuckled at the young man's attitude about the 
morgue.  Most people hesitated before barging in.
 
"Uh...I have a delivery here for a Dr. Natalie Lambert.  Would that be
you," he asked hopefully?
 
"That's me." Nat smiled as she saw him enter the room with a large
bouquet of flowers.  A dozen long stem red roses with sprigs of baby's
breath clusters around them filled his arms.  "Oh, my, those are lovely." She 
grabbed the card with one hand, then signed for them with her other. She leaned 
over into her desk and pulled out some money for a tip.

"Thanks!"  He said quietly. The young man took a quick look around the
room and left hurriedly.
 
The card read:
  Another chance to be friends.  I promise not
  to mess it up this time.
 
                 Always,
                      Kyle
 
Nat smiled and leaned over to smell the roses.  Kyle always had a flare
for the romantic.   He knew exactly what melted a woman's heart.
She had to remember that, but she had made a decision early tonight that
she had to forgive him for his past mistakes and give him a chance to be
who he actually was. Nick had been right; she was not the same person she had 
been 10 years ago  and maybe Kyle wasn't either.  She would give him a chance 
to prove to her that things had changed.  It was the only way she could ever put 
the doubts about herself and her inability to deal with their relationship's end.  It 
was time to grow up and leave behind the young Med. student who was 
manipulated and used.  Maybe then
she could learn to trust a man completely again.  The phone rang sharply
in the quiet morgue as Natalie leaned over to answer it.
 
"Coroners office, Lambert speaking."  It was probably Tracy or Nick
looking for those toxicology reports on the last physician.
 
"Natalie, it's Kyle.  Kyle Stephens."  His voice sounded hopeful and
light.
 
"Kyle.  Thank you for the flowers.  They're lovely."  Natalie touched
she rose petals as she spoke.
 
"Red ones were always your favorite, I recall."  You could actually feel
his smile over the phone.  "I thought maybe I could talk you into
breakfast this morning when you got off work."  Kyle patiently waited
for an affirmative answer.
 
"You planning on staying up till 4 am, Kyle?"  Nat questioned, assuming his 
answer would be no.
 
"If that's what time you get off,  I will be there with bells on.  See
you then." He hung up quickly before she could change her mind.
 
"But Kyle I..." The phone was already dead.  She stared at the handpiece
in disbelief.  She really wasn't prepared for this yet.  She was more than irritated 
at Kyle's tactics but then, that was his style,  as were the roses.    When she looked up, Nick stood before her with a puzzled look on his 
face.
 
"Nick..you have got to stop doing that!" she scolded as she placed the phone 
back on the receiver.
 
"What's up, Nat?  You looked really strange when I came in, like you were 
lecturing yourself again."  Nick sat down on the edge of her desk and touched 
the roses gently.  "Beautiful.  Kyle again?"  He already knew the answer.  The 
man had made his intentions clear this morning.  The question was, was Natalie 
aware of them and if so, what would be her
reaction?
 
She touched one of the roses lovingly and became more distant as she
spoke. "He just asked me out for breakfast to talk.  I'm not sure this
is the right thing to do but I'm going."  She looked at Nick for
understanding.
 
Nick placed his hands over hers as she touched the rose.  "Just remember,  Nat, 
that though a rose is beautiful, the thorns are sharp.  Things are not always what 
they appear to be on the outside."
 
"And neither are people.  I know, Nick, but I have to be able to put aside the old 
demons and  my past feelings."  She smiled and touched his face gently.  "I've  
told you that enough times.  I think I'm going to practice my own philosophy.  
You do understand?"  He was her closest friend.  She needed  his support most 
of all.
 
He gently grasped her hand on his face and kissed the palm before
returning it to his lap.  "I want you happy, Nat.  No matter what happens now or 
in the future.  Know that!  Just be aware that if he hurts you again, he will 
answer to me."  Nick released her hand and slowly walked to the door.
 
"Nick?"  Nat wasn't sure what to make of his comments.  Her blue eyes
turned to meet his.  "Is there something I should know?"  She sensed
something in him that wasn't there last night.
 
Nick toyed with the idea of telling her about his conversation with Kyle
this morning, but couldn't decide how to make it sound like he wasn't
afraid of losing her or being jealous.  In all honesty, he couldn't say
that wasn't what caused his doubts about Kyle to begin with, but he
trusted Nat to make the right decision for herself and him as well.  He
had to let her find the answers she needed even if he lost her in the
process.  They had too many obstacles to overcome if either of them had
doubts and Nat had the most to lose.  It had to be her decision.
 
"Just be careful.  Okay?  I'll be there if you need me."  He smiled that
boyish smile she loved so much and closed the door.
 
 --------------------------
 
Kyle stopped at the morgue at 4 am on the dot.  He would not be late for
this date no matter what the time.  He put on his 'you gotta love me'
face and pushed open the morgue door.
 
"Hi, Natalie." He said cheerfully as he noticed her finishing a report
behind her desk.
 
"Hi, Kyle."  She smiled hesitantly.  Doubt crossed her mind for at least
the 12th time tonight about her decision, but the compassion side of her
won out.  She would give Kyle another chance to be a good person and
possibly a friend.  Only then would she be able to aside the demons he
had created and learn to trust again.  Whether he messed it up or not,
she would be able to get on with her life knowing she had at least tried
to understand instead of running away.  Wasn't that what she had told
Nick on repeated occasions?  Running away was not the answer, only a
temporary fix.  You had to face it, deal with it, and live with your
actions.  She hadn't done that in Med. School.  She simply put her
emotions and pain on hold and ran.  If she had to be honest, that was
probably why she could understand Nick so well.  Running away from your
emotions was much easier than dealing with them.
 
"Let me just log off the police computer and we can go."  She closed
out the file and shut the computer down.   "Where are we going for
breakfast?"  She tried to sound eager but wasn't sure she managed it.
 
"You pick.  I haven't been in town long, especially to know what is open
at this hour.  Just make sure it's some place we can talk.  I want to
hear all about you and what has happened since we last met. I want to
explain a few things."  His green eyes searched hers for understanding.
 
"Let's try Rosie's around the corner.  It's not too busy this time of the night.  We 
can talk there."
 
Kyle noticed her coat on the tree by the door .  Casually picking it up
he offered to help her on with it.  "Let's go then.  We have about 10
years to catch up on."
 
 ------------------------
 
It was  several hours before dawn, so  Nick returned to his desk.  There had to be 
more information on the pharmaceutical companies on his list. As he scoured 
the documents before him he thought he noticed a pattern. Playing a hunch he 
pulled up the similar death profiles and cross referenced them to cities of 
pharmaceutical companies. All his efforts were in vain. There was no 
connection.

Then he pulled up the record on Kyle he requested  yesterday.  Was
he checking because of Natalie or because there was a potential
connection.  He knew the answer already.  The though of Nat with this
guy made his skin crawl.  He cross referenced the physicians with Kyle,
the pharmaceutical companies and finally the victims...nothing.  It was 
inconceivable that the present case and Nat's story was a coincidence.  Many of 
the symptoms she described and later verified in his drug search matched...and 
there it was.  The victim list matched the cities Kyle had visited on lecture tour 
or lived in.  He was the connection.  He broadened the search to find out if any  
of the other victims had done testing for any of the listed drug  companies as 
they had here in Toronto.
 
In each case, both in the States and in Canada, the victims had been a
participant in a drug study with questionable results.  In several of
the cases, indictments had already been issued, while others had been
dismissed for lack of evidence.  In each case, however, when the victim
died, Kyle was in the city.
 
Now what did he do.  If he brought him in for questioning, Nat would call it 
personal, not professional.  If he turned out to be the victim, Nat would go 
ballistic and take Kyle's side, calling him jealous.  Which he was...but this was 
police business.  If Kyle was the killer, it put Nat in danger and the emotional 
trauma would hurt her even more.  He was in a Catch 22 .  Hurt the woman he 
cared for more than life by suspecting her ex-fiancee as a murderer, or hurt her 
by proving he was. In either case, Nat lost.  There had to be another option.  He 
just wasn't seeing it.  If he gave the information to Trace or the Captain, he 
knew what their response would be. Was he putting Nat in danger by saying 
nothing?  What about others?  It was all  circumstantial.  There was nothing 
concrete. The only reason he was here was because he didn't trust the man with 
Nat.

It was almost dawn.  He would swing by Nat's to see if she got home
after her breakfast....and if she didn't, what then?  Nick grabbed his coat and 
keys and headed for the Caddie.  Dawn was in a half hour so there was plenty of 
time. Swinging by Nat's parking place he noticed her car still in the lot.  Maybe 
Kyle would bring her home, but he doubted it.  Rosie's was the closest place to 
the precinct so he swung by on his way home.

As he pulled into the parking lot he could see them still deep in
conversation.  Natalie was smiling and laughing at something Kyle said
as he gently touched her hands as he spoke.  She didn't remove her hands
from his as he continued.
 
It was a physical pain that engulfed Nick as he watched.  Nat's words
echoed in his mind until he could see her face as she spoke night before
last.  "A part of me will always love him.  I can't deny that."
 
She had needs that only a mortal man could give her.  As much as he
wanted to give them to her, he couldn't.  LaCroix had been right.  It
could only end one way.  If he truly loved her he would have to leave
and set her free....set them both free.  She deserved more than death or
this immortal Hell in which he lived.   He couldn't condemn her to
something he despised himself, in the name of love.  She would only end
up hating him in the end.  He couldn't bear that. Maybe this was for
the best, at least for Natalie.  He had to accept that fact because he
truly loved her.  He was finally willing to admit that now.  He wanted
her happy and that was all that mattered, whether it be Kyle or another
mortal, it was inevitable.  In his 800 years he had never felt such pain
as tonight.  He had to let her go.  He knew that now. He started the
engine and drove toward the loft.
 
End Part 6

What Real Love Is?
 Part (7/?)
 
 3 days later:
 
 Nick sat at his desk going over the information in front of him for at
 least the tenth time.  He hadn't spoken more than 5 words to her since
 she sat down at her desk across from him.  Tracy was more than worried.
 Usually Nick would get irritable, cranky, and out of control when he was
 upset.  She heard the other guys say his nickname was 'Knightmare' when
 he got ticked off about something, but this was different.
 
 He was hiding something and it had to do with Nat.  She was sure of it.
 She had seen Natalie with Dr. Stephens twice in two days.  The rumors
 were starting to fly.  She'd heard Carlyle telling Budman that Knight
 was losing ground with the Doc.  She was sure Nick had heard them
 talking, yet he continued to say nothing and he was avoiding the morgue
 like the plague.
 
 Tracy tossed a pencil across the desk at Nick to get his attention.
"Okay, Nick.  I have had enough.  What is going on with you?  I haven't
 gotten more than 10 words out of you in 3 days and I feel like I'm
 working this serial killer case alone."   Nick looked up at her as if noticing her 
for 
the first time.  He ran his hands through his hair and rose from his chair.  He 
was 
tired...very tired.  He hadn't slept in 2 days and it showed in his face.  The 
evidence kept getting stronger with every avenue he checked.  He needed 
someone to talk to, but with Tracy having just lost Vachon he wasn't sure she 
could handle anymore. She was a good cop, he had to remember that and maybe 
her viewpoint would be different than his.
 
 Rubbing his unshaved chin, his tired blue eyes met herswith resignation.
 Lives were at stake and she was his partner.  He picked up the large
 file in one hand and grabbed her coat with the other.  "Come on, Trace.
 I think we need to take a drive."  He tossed her coat into her lap and
 grabbed his own, not waiting to see if she would follow.
 
 Tracy caught him at the door.  "Where are we going, Nick?"
 
 -------------
 Kyle had been wonderful for the last 3 days.  He was courteous,
 attentive, considerate, romantic and not too pushy.  They chatted about
 his practice , his patients, Nat's job, the stress of the everyday job
 and all the little things people do to get to know one another.  He took
 her to breakfast, then dinner, the University to hear his lecture and
 dancing.  He wined her and dined her until she finally cried 'uncle'.
 
 "Kyle, you have got to stop.  We can't push 10 years of our lives into a
 week and pretend that everything is as it was before."  Natalie had kept
 him at arms length most of the week.  She was trying to decide if he
 truly had changed, all the while enjoying the warmth and fun that they
 used to share.  Kyle had changed.  He had grown up finally, but he was
 still Kyle.  Witty, fun to be with and a romantic at heart, yet there was
 still something that bothered her.  She couldn't put her finger on it.
 She had learned 10 years ago he was a consummate actor and she would
 never forget that.  But the woman in her adored the attention.  In fact
 she felt sexy for the first time in a long time.  God knows that her sex
 life had been extremely lacking as of late.  He made her smile and cry
 just like he had 10 years ago, but she wasn't the same person she had
 been then.  It was nice to reminisce but her life was different know and
 she liked who she was.
 
 Kyle came around and opened her car door.  "You don't really have to
 work 'till 5 do you, Natalie?"  He used those green eyes with his best
 puppy dog look.
 
 She laughed at his expression.  It was so like the young Med student she
 had loved long ago.  She touched his cheek gently and smiled and then
 she found his arms around her and his lips on hers.  Shock and then
 pleasure attacked her senses as he deepened the kiss.  He was so warm
 that she let herself go, exploring her feelings once again.  She wrapped
 her arms around his neck and kissed him back until ..... She finally realized it 
wasn't Kyle she wanted kissing her so passionately but a blue eyed, blonde 
detective with an affinity for dressing in black.  Kyle's warmth was enticing but
 there was no passion in his soul.   All this time she had spent with
 Kyle trying to put her past behind her had only strengthened her
 feelings for Nick.  She had learned to trust again...not Kyle but NICK.
 She wasn't just looking for answers in her past but confirmation of what
 she felt now...for Nick.  She had to know that what she felt for him was
 real.  That it wasn't just her desire to help find a cure, but something
 more...something deeper and longer lasting than life...something that
 could survive anything or anyone.  She had found her answer.
 
 ------------------
 
 Nick held the door open and let Tracy precede him into the parking lot.
 Tracy stopped dead in front of him causing him to run hard into her
 back.  Natalie stood kissing Kyle Stephens in the parking lot.  It was
 not a chaste kiss but one where both participants where caught up in the
 moment.  Tracy could feel Nick tense behind her as if he lowered a brick
 wall between them.
 
 Nick stood motionless watching Nat wrap her arms around Kyle's neck and
 return his kiss with enthusiasm.  She didn't push him away or run from
 the emotions he was evoking from her.  Immense pain racked Nick's heart
 as he watched the woman he loved kiss another man with the passion he
 only dreamed they could share.  Was it fate that he and Trace should be
 there at this particular moment or just bad luck?  He didn't know nor
 did he care.  The pain was so intense he had forgotten to breathe until
 Tracy brought him back to reality.
 
 "Nick!  I'm...I'm sure this isn't what it..."  Tracy was at a loss for
 words.  For once in her short career with Nick she could actually read
 his emotions.
 
 The pain in his eyes turned to anger. Then his control returned before
 he spoke. "Trust me, Trace it, gets worse."  He handed her the file in his
 hand and started for the Caddie.  She piled into the car as he started
 the engine and pulled out of the lot.
 
 -------------
 
  They drove in silence while Tracy read the workup Nick had been
 compiling on the physician killings.  An occasional "incredible;"
 "unbelievable;" and "you've got to be kidding" escaped her lips as Nick
 drove toward the Faraday Pharmaceutical Building.  Faraday was the
 pharmaceutical house that had funded Kyle's medical tuition during his final
 years as a resident.
 
 "Nick, Kyle Stephens is our killer.  It's all here...motive and
 opportunity.  He has a previous history of unlicensed drug usage.  He
 has been in every city in which the murders have been committed over an eight-
 year period, and not only was his medical tuition paid for in school but
 he has numerous entries in his bank ledger for very large sums of cash
 from unknown sources.  Why haven't you brought him in?"  She was
 confused.  Nick was always the first to drag a suspect in for
 questioning.  He was so good at wringing a confession out of them.
 
 He stopped the car in the middle of the Faraday Pharmaceutical parking lot and 
stared at the building for a moment. He had driven here without thinking.  This 
was where it all started.  
 
 "You haven't told Natalie any of this have you."  Tracy was kicking
 herself for not having seen it earlier.  "Of course!  You didn't want to
 come across as the jealous boyfriend.  The cop on a one man mission to
 destroy the competition any way he can."  She touched his shoulder
 gently.  "You have no choice in this, Nick.  You know that."
 
 Nick laid his head on the steering wheel in exasperation.  "I just had
 to make sure.  I didn't want to hurt her again and it looks like that's
 exactly what is going to happen."  Nick slammed his hand on the dash in
 anger.  "Damn!   Why couldn't he have changed or at least not shown up again.  
Did he have to hurt her all over again?  If I hadn't taken an oath to this badge, I 
would kill him myself."  Resigning himself to his  fate with a heavy sigh, Nick 
took 
control of his emotion and started the car again.
 
 "The answer to that is simple, Nick."  Nick brought his eyes level with
 Tracy before putting the car in gear.
 
 "You're a good cop.  The best I've ever seen.  That's why you found all this
 evidence.  You made sure that you were right, not for yourself but for
 Nat. You love her and that's why you waited, isn't it?" Tracy locked
 eyes with Nick trying to get him to admit what he felt.
 
 Pain was visible in his eyes as well as the answer but he was not ready to put it 
into words...not yet.  "We had better get back to the precinct and talk with the 
Captain."

 
End Part 7

What Real Love Is?
Part 8


--------------------

Natalie pulled back from Kyle abruptly ending the kiss.  He held on tightly 
refusing to release her.  She felt so warm, so exciting.  She had returned his kiss 
with such passion it took his breathe away.  If anything, age had made her more 
beautiful and more desirable with an intensity for life that he could do nothing 
but crave.  She was his.  He could feel it until she stiffened in his arms and 
retreated.  He refused to release her and she began to struggle to break the 
embrace.

"Kyle, you have to let go of me." Natalie pushed away forcefully not making 
much headway.

"What is it Natalie?  You loved it!  You know you did!"  Kyle tried to pull her 
lips back to his. 

"No! Kyle, let me go!"  Natalie pushed harder finally breaking the hold he had 
on her and stood back.  "That was a mistake.  I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have let 
that go that far....it was my fault."  She looked at him apologetically.

Kyle grabbed her again and forced his lips to hers as she struggled.   When he 
released her lips he stared into angry blue eyes.  "You love me Natalie.  You 
always have.  Admit it!  We were meant to be together just like we were back in 
school....the perfect couple.  The last few days have been perfect.  We are going 
to get married and I'm going to buy you that white house you always talked 
about. 
We are going to have 2 maybe 3 kids.  It will be just like you always wanted it.  
You can quite that morbid job and spend all your time with me and the kids. We 
can be together all the time.  I have made enough money to retire already.  We 
will spend every waking minute of our lives together and you will never have to 
worry about money, jobs, or co-workers again. It will be perfect."  Kyle's eyes 
glowed with happiness as he laid out their lives.

Natalie stood speechless watching his face as he continued.  He held her firmly 
in place while he talked.  The Kyle she knew in Med school was resurfacing 
again; only this time all pretense of what she wanted was gone.  He had made all 
his dreams into hers.  He honestly believed that she wanted all those things.  
There were things that had been important to her 10 years ago, but not now.  He 
hadn't listen to her all week.  He wanted the old Natalie, not the woman she was 
now. As he rambled on, she realized he was talking about his happiness not 
hers.  It was just as it had been 10 years ago only she hadn't seen it.

She pushed his arms off hers forcefully.  "Kyle, stop it?"  He released her and 
she stood back.  "You have no idea of what I really want.  Your living in the 
past.  I'm not that person anymore.  I love my job and my friends.  I'm happy 
with who I am NOW.  I want more than just a husband and kids to love.  I have 
a lot to give ." Kyle reached for her again but she pulled quickly out of his reach  
and glared at him.

"Don't deny your feeling Natalie.  This is  real love.  You and I together doing 
what we want no worries, no commitment, no problems.  That's the only 
thing that will make you happy.  You know it!"  He lunged for her with 
desperation in his eyes.

As he lunged she slapped him hard across the face as the anger built within her.
"Damn you Kyle.  You don't know what real love is.   Real love is worrying 
about the other person more than yourself.  It's wanting the other person to be 
happy no matter what the cost to yourself.  Real love is feeling pain when you 
can't give the other person everything they need, but you never stop trying."  
Nat stood back and caught her breath.  

"I don't love you Kyle.  I did once, but not now.  That woman you loved 10 
years ago is gone and I don't plan on going back.  I'm sorry if you got the wrong 
impression this week, but I needed to put my anger and my distrust of men 
behind me.  I needed to understand just exactly what I wanted and how I feel 
about .."

"Knight!  You're in love with Knight?"  It was a statement not a question as 
reality finally hit him.  "He will hurt you Natalie and then leave you.  He will 
walk out that door one night and never come back and then what?  He will never 
be there for you like I can."  Kyle turned and started pacing back and forth in 
front of her like a caged tiger.

"Where's he been all week?  If he loves you he should have been beating your 
door down to keep me away, but he hasn't done that has he?"  Kyle 
smirked as he returned her gaze.  His words hit home.  He could see it in her 
eyes.  She had doubts about Knight's commitment to her.  There was hope yet.

"This discussion is over Kyle.  I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway or gave you the 
wrong impression, but you want something I'm not willing to give you."  She 
touched his arm with sadness in her eyes.

"I've got to go to work."  She turned and started to walk toward the coroner's 
building.  Making a final decision ,she stopped and turned one last time.  

"Don't call me Kyle."  It was a simple command, not a request.  She looked at 
his eyes for understanding and finally turned to walk into the building.

--------------------

Several hours later:

Tracy and Nick were in Reese's office while he went over the file. Nick stood 
staring out the window as he read.  Tracy sat in the chair opposite the Captain's 
desk.  Neither spoke while they waited for the explosion.  When he finished, he 
closed it calmly before he spoke. 

"I'm not even going to ask why you haven't had this guy in here Nick, because I 
think I already know the answer.  So I'm going to make it easy for you.  This is 
a direct command.  Bring him in here and get me the answers to the holes in 
this case.  What you have is circumstantial as you well know.  If he's guilty 
we have to prove it."  Reese looked at Nick as he stared out the window 
without responding.  "Did you hear me Nick?"  Reese yelled to bring Nick back 
from where ever he was.

Nick turned and calmly responded , "I heard you Cap." and started for the door. 

"Nick, if he is the killer, Natalie is in danger.  You have to know that?"  Reese 
calmed his voice down as he spoke.  He knew Nick and Nat were close but this 
had to be tough.  He couldn't imagine how Natalie would take having her ex-
fiancee arrested by Nick.  Even if Nick and Natalie where just friends, it would 
put a strain on the relationship, and Reese had the distinct feeling they were a 
great deal closer than friends.  

Controlled rage sparked from Nick's eyes as he turned  in anger to the Captain.  
"Don't you think I know that?  But what if he isn't?"  He growled as he pulled  
the door hard enough to let it slam against the glass before he left.


Staring in astonishment at Nick's angry outburst, Reese turned to Tracy 
shouting, "Well, go after him!  I'll try to head Natalie off before she finds out.  
Go on!"

End Part 8

Part 9
What Real Love Is?

-----------------

Natalie opened the observation room door and stepped in.  Nick and Tracy  had 
been interrogating Kyle for almost 30 minutes before she found out.  Nick was 
using he usual caustic yet probing style to break Kyle down.  He was in control 
of the situation.  Kyle was becoming agitated with Tracy and Nick's back and 
forth cross examination.  Reese turned to face her and held up both hands before 
she spoke. 

"Now don't blame him Natalie!  The evidence is there.  If anything he should 
have had him in here 2 days ago."  Reese waited for the explosion, he was sure 
to come but Nat simply turned to the window to listen.

---------------

"Let me get this straight Dr. Stephens, you claim to have no knowledge of any of 
these deaths over the past 10  years.  You expect us to believe that its a 
coincidence that you are in every city where all these physicians are murdered.  
You expect us to believe that the drug companies are using human subjects as 
guinea pigs for  untested drugs and each of these doctors were participants just 
as you were 10 years ago and ..........you know nothing about it?"

"What would you know about 10 years ago detective?"  Anger was building 
behind Kyle's eyes as he challenged Nick.

Nick placed his face right before Kyle before he spoke.  "Enough to know that 
you played with the big boys for money and patients died.  Enough to know that 
you used people to cover your involvement and you got away with it."  Nick 
turned and walked back to the corner.  The anger was building and the vampire 
was close at hand.  He was dirty and a user, but was he a killer as well?  The 
thought of his hands on Natalie almost brought the beast forward. He pushed it 
back before he spoke.

"Not this time Kyle.  You won't get away with it.  I will make SURE of that!"

Kyle lunged out of the chair to attack Nick.  Nick simply sidestepped and let 
him run into the wall.  Hatred poured through Kyle's eyes as he sat on the floor.  
"This isn't about the murders, this is about Natalie.  You can't stand the fact 
that she still loves me.  This is personal...isn't it Knight?"  He picked himself 
up off the floor and straightened his jacket till he was in complete control again.  
Calmly returning to his chair, Kyle sat down and smugly stated,   "I think I'll 
call my lawyer now." 

"Why don't you do that DR. STEPHENS?"  Nick glanced at the two way mirror 
listening to Nat's familiar heartbeat.  He was not looking forward to this.

"Trace why don't you see that the good Doctor here gets his phone call."

Tracy glared at Kyle with contempt in her eyes.  "Sure, no problem Nick."

------------------

Nick stepped into the observation both as Reese nodded and left.  Natalie turned 
to face him with tears in her eyes.  He wasn't sure what to say.  

"Why didn't you tell me Nick?"  She spoke so softly that only his sensitive 
hearing could have heard it.  She searched his eyes for answers.  Trust had to be 
a two way street.  "You used the information I gave you about Kyle!  You used 
me just like he did. You're no different than he is.  All along I thought you were 
different.  I've been a fool!"  A single tear slipped down her cheek as she met 
his eyes.

"Nat!  It's not like that."  Nick reached for her as she jerked her arm away and 
her anger rose.

"Then tell me Nick!  Tell me why my best friend used something I told  him to 
throw suspicion on a perfectly reputable doctor.  Tell me Nick, why that best 
friend didn't even bother to tell me that he thought something was up with this 
doctor.  TELL ME NICK, why this best friend didn't bother to see me in a week 
while this so called serial murder suspect was spending so much time with me.  
If you though he was a murderer Nick why weren't you more concerned about 
what would happen to me.  By all means TELL ME!"  She was enraged by the 
time she had gotten it all out.

Nick expected the anger but not the pain.  She actually believed he hadn't 
checked on her all week.  He thought he was giving her time to put the anger 
and distrust behind her by dealing with it herself.  He thought she wanted to be 
with Kyle instead of him.   Her lack of trust in him hurt more than her anger.

"Trust is a two way street Natalie!" There was pain in his eyes as he spoke.  
"You think I didn't tell you about this because I didn't trust you ? " His pain 
turned to anger just as hers had.  "I didn't tell you because you already had 
enough doubts about Kyle and yourself.  You wanted to put your past behind you 
and decide what YOU wanted.  I thought it would only hurt you more to have to 
deal with this.  What I had was circumstantial and still is!"  Nick paced the floor 
as his anger built.

He stopped sharply and met her angry eyes with his own.  "Don't think I like 
that slim ball touching you or that I haven't kept an eye on you, but I have no 
proof of anything that I can arrest him far.....or I would have!  I trust you with 
everything that I am.  I know I can't give you what you need but that doesn't 
mean it hurts any less to watch you with him or.... any other man for that 
matter.  I want you  happy Nat......."  He slowly walked to the door trying to 
control the pain and anger. "If he is what you really want then I happy for you, 
but DON'T EVER tell me I don't trust you! Or that I don't care!  I thought you 
knew that!"  Gold flecks touched his eyes as he met her confused ones.  
Reigning in his anger and the hurt, he turned and walked out the door.  

Tracy hesitated outside the door as she heard them yelling.  The room was  
well insulated and the voices muffled but the anger was almost physical.  The 
entire precinct sat waiting until Nick walked out.  Most had witnessed Nick's 
temper before and wanted to make sure they were sufficiently removed when he 
came out.  Natalie was known to be the only one able to hold her own with him 
in a fit of temper, but no one had any intentions of coming between them when 
they were both riled.   Nick glared at Trace as he slammed the observation door 
and then stormed down the hall.  He was in no mood for conversation and Trace 
was not going to push him. As she watched his retreating form, she decided to 
check on Nat.

Natalie sat on the back table staring at Kyle through the glass with tears running 
freely down her face. Tracy opened the door quietly still carrying the case file.

"Nat?"  Tracy questioned softly as she walked over and stood beside her.
"Are you okay?"

Natalie saw the file in Trace's hand and reached for it.  Tracy slipped it into her 
hand as she spoke.  "He should have brought him in 2 days ago Nat!"  She 
looked into Nat's sad eyes.  "He was trying to keep you from being hurt in case 
he was wrong and then when he saw you in the parking lot........." 

The look on Nat's face was one of regret and pain as she returned her gaze back 
to the file noting the dates, times and evidence.  Finally she glanced back 
through the window at Kyle as he sat waiting for his lawyer.  The tears began to 
fall unchecked down her cheeks while she spoke.  "Nick was trying to protect 
me  from myself and let me find my own way.  I accused him of the one thing 
that I feared the most.....his lack of trust in me.....when all along I forgot to trust 
him to do what's right.  He always tries to do what's right whether it hurts him 
or not." 

 Nat looked directly into Tracy's eyes as she spoke.  "I'm such a fool!
"I just wanted to know what I feel for him is real.   No... that's not quite right." 
She sighed before she continued.  "I HAD to know what I feel for Nick is real 
and that my old feeling for Kyle where in the past.   I should've known that Kyle 
hadn't really changed and Nick would trust me enough to see it on my own.  
Kyle is a user and will always be one.  I hurt Nick as well as myself and worse 
yet I hurt US.  I don't know....."

Tracy squatted down in front of her and gently touched Natalie's hands as she 
spoke.  "He loves you Nat...... It's in his eyes.  It's in everything he does for 
you."  She smiled and squeezed her hands in comfort. " When two people are in 
love, they sometimes hurt each other...that's part of  it."  Tracy wiped the tears 
from Natalie's cheek.

"When I kissed Kyle, I realized it wasn't him that I wanted in my arms but Nick.  
I love him Trace.  I really love him."  She sighed and looked casually at the file 
as she picked it up. "And this is what Kyle is....half-truths and a  lot of 
unanswered questions."

Tracy pulled Natalie to her feet and took the file from her hands.  "I think you 
should be telling this to Nick not me......Don't you?"  She smiled and put her 
arm around her for support as they walked into the squad room.

End Part 9


What Real Love Is?
Part 10

She dried her tears before opening the observation door.  Nat walked bravely 
into the squad room to look for Nick with Tracy close behind.  

"Do you know where he went Trace?"  Nat questioned softly so the rest of the 
room would not hear.  

Kind hearted Carlyle quietly came up behind them as they spoke.  "Uh...Dr. 
Lambert....?"

Nat turned to face him.  "It's Natalie, Carlyle."  She tried to smile for his sake.

"If you're looking for Nick, he left about 10 minutes ago.  He called in from his 
car and booked off for the night.   Jones said he peeled rubber with that Caddie 
of  his out the parking lot.  He'd never seen him do that before.....I don't think he 
is coming back."  Carlyle looked apologetic as he delivered the message.

Nat gently touched his arm and made him look at her before she spoke.
"Thanks, Carlyle.  It's okay.... none of this is your fault.  This is no ones fault 
but my own."  The sadness in her eyes spoke more than her words.

"Just thought you would want to know."  Carlyle turned to go back to work.

Nat picked up her coat and purse off Tracy's desk and headed for the door.

"Nat?"  Tracy spoke before she reached the door.  "We won't be able to hold 
Kyle long.  All we have is circumstantial.  His lawyers will have him out in an 
hour or so."

"Thanks Trace.  Hopefully I can find Nick and straighten this mess out before 
Kyle finds him and makes it worse."  She stepped outside and headed for her 
car.

-------------------

Natalie called Nick's cell phone as she drove toward the loft.  She tried his pager 
and  the loft number; but to no avail.  She checked with dispatch and he wasn't 
answering his police ban either.  Did she try the loft or the Raven.  Would he go 
to LaCroix?  She turned the car north and headed for the loft.

Ten minutes later she turned the car off and pressed the security combination to 
the loft.  As she road the elevator up, a sense of dread and anxiety overwhelmed 
her.  When she opened the door, cold fingers encased her throat and slammed 
her against the wall.  Cold blue eyes met hers in the darkness and the familiar 
voice of the Nightcrawler seeped into her soul.

"What have you done to him now Doctor?"  Gold flecks edged his blue eyes 
visible even in the darkness at the distant he held. her.

Natalie ceased to struggle when she recognized the voice.  Fear would only 
please him more.  Anger defiance flashed in her eyes as she refused to 
answer until he released the hold on her throat.

Watching the emotions play across her face and listening to her heartbeat, 
LaCroix marveled at her woman's control.  She had willfully controlled the fear 
and emotion and turned it into something he could easily understand...anger.  It 
was no wonder Nicholas admired her so much.  She was a worthy adversary as 
well as a threat to be dealt with.  Something he would do just as soon as he had 
answers.  He released the hold on her throat and stepped back completely in 
control again.

Natalie gently rubbed her throat and walked past him into the room switching 
on the light as she walked past.  She would not face LaCroix in the darkness.  
Never take on the devil on his terms.  She turned to meet him defiantly now 
putting on a braver front than she felt.  "I don't know where he is LaCroix.  I 
thought maybe he was with you but I see that is not the case.  Apparently you 
have saved me a trip."  She crossed her arms across her chest as protection.  

LaCroix calmly seated himself in Nick's black leather chair by the fireplace 
before he spoke.  "I take it Doctor that you and Nicholas have had a 
disagreement of sorts and that is why you seek him?"  He lifted one eyebrow and 
smiled slightly.

"What is between Nick and myself is just that LaCroix, between us."  She 
walked to stand in front of him almost daring him to attack.  Was she out of her 
mind to push him?  Maybe somewhere in the back of her mind she had a death 
wish?  She wasn't sure why she felt she could press him, but he was connected to 
Nick.  She had witnessed it personally and he WAS here.   He could feel Nick's 
emotions and maybe find him as well.   "Do you know where he is?"

LaCroix stood almost in one fluid motion and leered down into her eyes and 
smiled.  "Your lack of logic astounds me Doctor or are we just jousting for 
positions here.  I could easily break your neck and be done with this 
tedious little quest of yours.  I believe we would all be much better off."

Fear encompassed her whole body as he swiftly encased her in his arms and let 
his eyes turn golden until she fought back.  "Go ahead."  She spoke softly into 
his ear as his fangs descended toward her neck causing him to stop.  "Kill me 
and he will kill you for it.  Bring me across and he will kill you for it or hate you 
for all eternity but you will lose him either way...and I win."  He released her so 
quickly she almost collapsed to the floor.

She picked herself up and met him blue eyes to gold.  "You owe him LaCroix 
for saving you from Divia and you owe me for saving the community from the 
fever epidemic.  I intend to collect and so shall Nick, but THIS has nothing to do 
with you.  It's between Nick and myself.  Find him and I shall call my debt with 
you even."  She awaited his answer.

He smiled and let his eyes return to normal.  "You settle to quickly Doctor, but it 
will be as you wish.  I will find him for you and our debt will be canceled."  He 
walked toward the center of the room under the skylight and looked skyward 
and then returned her gaze. "You haven't thought this completely through 
Doctor.  Just because I find him does not mean he will want to see you......."  He 
smiled a knowing smile.  "Just a thought."  Only a slight breeze was felt as he 
disappeared through the skylight.

-------------

It was nearing midnight when Natalie finally decided to return to the precinct.  
She would try pager and  his cell phone again before she left.   If necessary she 
would wait at the morgue until dawn.  If he didn't show up by then  she would  
return to the loft. There weren't many places he could go after sunrise. 

As she got out of her car at the precinct. Kyle approached from the side of the 
building.  He had been waiting for over an hour.  His lawyer managed his 
release without much effort due to lack of concrete evidence, but he was told not 
to leave town.  

"Natalie!"  Kyle called across the parking lot.  "Please!  I need to talk with you."

A stronger Natalie stood to face him.  She had no time for his deceit and lies.  
"What is it you want to talk about Kyle.  The fact that you helped kill someone 
10 years ago or that you have been helping kill more ever since.  How about the 
way you used me in Med school to help hide your involvement or how you 
planned to manipulate everything in my life into something that was convenient 
for you.  What is it you want to use me for this time?  Did you think if you got 
close to me again that you could hide the forensic evidence linking those 
untested drugs to Faraday Pharmaceutical again.  How much are they paying 
you this time?"  Her anger grew with each breath.

"Natalie,  I haven't done any of those things.  You have to believe 
me.......Well....not exactly those things.  I did use you in Med school to cover up 
the drug usage but I never delivered those drugs.  I owed Faraday for my tuition.  
It was wrong and I knew it.  After I started my private practice, they came to me 
talking about a new drug they wanted me to try.  I turned them down flat.  I 
started doing all this work on drugs with Psychiatric care.  I found some of them 
worked and some didn't, but I never used untested drugs in my practice..... you 
have to believe that.   I came to Toronto to see you.  I wanted you in my life 
again.  I realized after everything blew over that you were right to turn me in.  I 
should have been punished for my participation and I know that.  I have been 
trying to make up for that for 10 years. I've been trying to make up for that 
woman dying because I didn't have the guts to stand up for what's right."  

Kyle stopped long enough to catch his breath when a man appeared behind 
Natalie and jerked her body hard into his solid  mass.  He  covered her mouth in 
one swift motion and placed a gun along  side her head as he spoke.

"Don't believe him Doc.  He's a liar in the first degree and now he is going to 
pay for what he's done.  I finally have found the way to make him suffer like my 
brother did."  The gunman twisted Nat almost off her feet so Kyle could see the 
placement of the gun.

"Don't even think about it DR. STEPHENS.  I can pull this trigger faster than 
you can spit.  Not that you have any backbone anyway."  The gunman looked 
Natalie over as he held her tightly. "She's the answer I have been looking for all 
these years.  She's special to you.  Isn't she Doc? "  He laughed maniacally. She 
is what is going to make you feel the pain that Jerry felt because of what you did.  
Get in the car and drive."  He motioned for Kyle to get behind the wheel of the 
car next to Natalie's in the lot.  He shoved Natalie in the back seat  and followed 
close behind.


Tracy had stepped out of the side door and froze when she saw the gun.  She 
didn't want to startle the man into hurting Nat, so she edged her way around the 
parked cars until she had a clear shot..... and then he moved.  Kyle climbed 
behind the wheel while the gunman shoved Nat into the back seat at gun point.  
The brown sedan screamed out of the parking lot as she ran to catch the plate 
number.

End Part 10


What Real Love Is
Part 11

-------------------

As Tracy ran into the precinct, she  almost knocked Reese down as he came out 
his office. Breathless she explained what she'd seen as she paced the floor.

"Captain, I just put out an APB on a brown sedan with license plate number 
R 771L5.  A tall man just forced Natalie and Dr. Stephens into his car at 
gunpoint.  I tried to......."

"Slow down Vetter.  What are you saying?  Natalie has been kidnapped?"

Catching her breath but  still pacing the floor she tried to explain what she saw.
When she finished her thoughts turned to Nick.

"We have to find  Nick, Captain."  Tracy stopped pacing long enough to face the 
Captain for an answer.

 "Well, do it Trace!  Put out an APB on him if necessary."

"Already done Cap.   The license plate is being run now."  Tracy calmed herself 
to become more rational.   "While dispatch keeps calling Nick, I'll go over to his 
place to see if he is just not answering."  She grabbed her coat and headed for 
the door.  "Call me as soon as you know anything about this guy."

-----------------

Nick sat atop a very large boulder overlooking the south view of Toronto.  He let 
his mind drift to various things as he sat.  His anger faded away hours ago and 
he sat trying to analyze why Natalie's lack of trust hurt him so badly.  Many 
times in the past 800 years he had become involved with mortals and each time 
there was pain when he was forced to move on.  This was different.  It was easy 
to let yourself love a person but to truly love their soul was something different.  
Some how, some way after all these centuries he had finally learned to love body 
and soul.  He truly loved  all that she was and it scared him beyond his 
imagination.  Their trust in one another had always been the anchor in their 
relationship and with that gone self doubt and pain took control.   

Natalie had always been the strong one.  She had such fire and conviction. 
She'd made him truly believe anything was possible but she had needs as well.  
He recognized that now.  Maybe it was time for him to be the strong one.  He 
couldn't give her everything she needed and he had to accept that, but she was 
his best friend and best friends are there for each other no matter what.  If she 
wanted Kyle then he must have some good in him.  Nat was a good judge of 
character and he should trust that, because he DID trust her no matter what she 
thought.

The breeze only slightly moved the branches as Nick felt LaCroix approach.
He wasn't in the mood for a verbal or physical battle.  He had waged enough 
war within himself tonight but he should have known  his father would sense his 
turmoil and come to gloat.

LaCroix landed gently beside his son as he sat staring at the Toronto skyline.
"This is not your usual spot Nicholas."  His spoke calmly as if discussing the 
weather.  "Considering your present state of mind. I'm surprised that you 
haven't found something a little more distracting.   That's your usual way of 
handling things."  He let the sarcasm creep into his voice intentionally.

Nick slowly rose from the rock to face his master. A determined set of blue eyes 
met LaCroix's cold ones before he spoke.  "I'm tired of running 
LaCroix.....from myself and from life."  Nick brushed past his master en route 
to the car.

"Nicholas......I have a  message for you from your pet.  Do you wish to hear it 
or shall I just return and tell her your not interested any longer."  Nick could feel 
the concealed amusement in LaCroix's voice as he sat down and closed the 
Caddie's door.

"Why would you care to deliver a message from Natalie, LaCroix unless....." 
Using  vampiric speed, Nick exited the car and threw LaCroix to the ground 
in one fluid motion.  "If you've hurt her, I will kill you!"  His eyes were golden 
and his teeth extended as he spoke.

LaCroix laughed at his son's lack of control as he lay flat on his back with Nick 
astride him.  He had no doubts Nicholas would kill him if his little pet was 
harmed.  Once angered Nicholas was a fighting machine with only one goal in 
mind.  Why his son continued to fight this nature was beyond his imagination 
but it was always to be considered in an altercation with him. 

"Such emotion Nicholas.....and lack of control.  I would have thought in 800 
years you would have learned to control that temper of yours.  Although I must 
admit I enjoy our little battles especially when they end in bloodshed.  It's so 
challenging."  LaCroix tried catching his son off guard to reverse the position 
but Nick was ready for him. 

Nick had feed well earlier that evening so his strength was not impaired.  He 
threw his master viciously to the ground as his eyes turned feral red.  "What is 
the message LaCroix and why are you bringing it to me?"  Nick picked them 
both off the ground still holding LaCroix's lapels as he spoke.

LaCroix let his eyes turn golden and forced his son's arms off his coat before he 
spoke.  "I was sent to find you Nicholas and tell you that the good Doctor wishes 
to speak with you ALONE!  That is all.  As to why I would lower myself to 
being a messenger for your pet, let us just say I am repaying a debt."  

Nick let his eyes return to normal as he stood quietly before LaCroix assuming 
the worse.   She HAD come to a decision.

"I take it you understand the message and I am relieved of my obligation?"  He 
raised one eyebrow and smiled at his son's interpretation of the message.

"Interesting.......very interesting."  He laughed as he disappeared into the sky.

Nick watched LaCroix disappear into the sky and let his thoughts drift back to 
Natalie and their argument.  Flipping on the police dispatch for the first time 
since leaving the precinct, he heard the APB for him and a brown sedan with 
two hostages...one of which was Natalie.  Quickly picking up the microphone 
he responded to the dispatcher.

"Dispatch this is 81 Kilo. I am en route to Metro. Fill me in on the details and 
then patch me through to Tracy."  He pointed the Caddie toward Metro as he 
listened to the details.

--------------


Natalie sat bound tightly to a chair in the corner of the room as the man piled 
kindling and logs in a semicircle around her.  Kyle was bound and gagged in a 
chair on the other side of the room where an explosive device sat ticking away.
His eyes were like saucers as he watched the man in horror.

Trying to gain time and calm the man down, Natalie tried her best professional 
voice to get him into a conversation.  

"What's your name?"  She asked calmly as he continued to add gasoline to the 
wood pile.

He brought his eyes level with her.  Insanity and war raged behind the hazel 
eyes that returned her gaze.  "You don't understand what he is do you?  You 
don't even know why your going to die?"

Trying to control the fear Natalie pushed forward.  "Why don't you tell me why?  
If I'm going to die, don't I have the right to know ?"  



"He killed my brother...my baby brother.  He gave him those drugs.  Those 
drugs that weren't tested.  Drugs that caused him such pain that he begged me 
to kill him.  So I did, and for what?   Money!  Yes, Money!  It took me years to 
find out who was responsible, but I did.   When I found out who was involved  I 
killed them all.  I made them suffer just like they made Jerry suffer except for 
him.  He was the one who delivered the drugs and covered it up just like all 
those other."  He let his eyes drift to Kyle in the corner who struggled to speak 
through the gag.

" I followed him from place to place till I could get them all.  All those so called 
healers of the mind and everyone of them were like him.  All they cared about 
was money.  So I watched and waited till the time was right...till I could find 
something that would hurt him more than just physical pain,"  he turned back to 
Natalie.  "and that is you.  He is going to watch you die screaming and then I'm 
going to kill him slowly with the same drug he gave my brother.  Did I mention 
that the scientist at Faraday who created the drug explained all the side effects of 
the drug to me before he died.  He told me how to make it stronger.  How to 
cause so much pain that you would go insane before you died.  That you would 
do anything to make it stop."  Hatred flared in his eyes as he spoke.  "Yes, they 
knew what it would do, but they used it anyway....modified form and such tripe.  
They knew it could kill and they used it anyway!"  He laughed as he turned his 
attention back to Kyle and calmly stepped over to remove the gag.

"Not to worry Doc, I won't give her the drug......just YOU as you watch her 
burn.  I want you to hear her screams while the drug runs through your veins 
and I'm going to watch it all."  He sighed and looked toward the stars through 
the window.  "Then Jerry can rest in peace."  He started for the lighter on the 
table.

"Carl?  Isn't that you name.  You're making a mistake!   Natalie isn't involved 
in this.  She's the one who turned them in.  She stood up for Jerry.  She was the 
one that found the evidence on Faraday and help send them to prison.  Punish 
me but not her.  Do you want to be just like me?  I was stupid and young, but I 
learned from my mistakes.  I didn't know the drugs were harmful.....I didn't 
know.  You have to believe me.  I've spent ten years trying to promote safe drug 
usage because of what happened to your brother.  I didn't know those other 
doctors.  I didn't....."  Carl's anger built with each word Kyle spoke until he 
replaced the gag over his mouth.

"Shut up Doc.  Ignorance is no excuse.  You didn't check.  All you wanted was 
the money.  It was just easier not to ask.  You were a doctor!  You were suppose 
to care about your patients, but all you cared about was the money.  Just like all 
the others."  He turned back to Natalie with the lighter in his hand.

"I'm sorry if what he says about you is true.  Really sorry, but he has to pay for 
what he did and this is the only way."  He flicked the lighter and watched the 
flame burn as Natalie screamed.

End Part 11

What Real Love Is?
Part 12

Tracy's voice came over the radio as Nick drove toward Metro.

"Nick!  Where the Hell have you been?  Some weirdo has Nat and Dr. Stephens.
I saw him force them into this car......."

Nick was stressed to the max.  Gold flecks edged his eyes as he drove.  
"Trace....just tell me you have an address."  His patience was non-existent.

"The car is registered to a Carl Bowen at 1315 Sparrow Court."  Nick pulled the 
Caddie over as he listened.

"Thanks Trace.  Send me back-up and an ambulance."

"They were dispatched a few minutes ago.  Nick, this guy is the brother of the 
of Kyle's first mess in California.   Nick.....Nick?  Did you hear me?"  There 
was no answer only a dead line.

------------------

Nick took to the air as he finished the sentence.  Fear gripped his heart as he 
flew.  Nearing the subdivision he heard Nat's scream.
----------------

"NICK!!!!   Nick!!!!!"  Natalie screamed as Carl lit the fire and watched the 
flames dance.

  Carl stood watching the flames come closer to her chair as she 
struggled to free herself. A loud crash from the front window brought his 
attention around as Nick sailed through the plate glass window, smashing him 
into the far wall.  Blackness enveloped him swiftly as he bounced to the floor.

Nick saw Natalie through the flames.  Without thinking, he plunged through the 
inferno to the center.  The heat was intense and caught his coat sleeve on fire.  
Throwing it off into the flames he untied her hands and pulled her into his arms.  
Relief swept through him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

She was afraid but not paralyzed by it.  Nick marveled at her courage.
"Vampires do burn you know Nick!  Any ideas on a way out of this one?"  She 
looked hopefully into his eyes.

Nick looked at the fire as it quickly trapped them into the corner.  Looking up 
he tried to judge the consequences of taking there only way out.  He looked deep 
into her eyes before he spoke. "Trust me Nat! Trust me again....just this once !" 
He needed her acceptance.

As the fire leapt to the cushion on the chair where she had sat, she held him 
close.  "I never stopped trusting you Nick and I NEVER will.  Do it!  It's our 
only chance."

Forcing her face into his chest for protection, Nick shot upwards trying to cover 
her body with his as they tore through the rafters into the night air.  He brought 
them down softly behind the house as the fire trucks roared into the driveway 
followed by police and ambulance crews.  

Nick  pulled Nat away from him to check her over.  "Nat?  Are you okay? "  He 
brushed debris from her hair looking for wounds and broken bones.

"I'm okay Nick."  She brushed debris from his shoulder and met his blue eyes.
"But Kyle....Nick....Kyle is still in there!" Fear was written on her face as she 
spoke.  

He pulled away from her and headed for the house again without reservation.
She grabbed his sleeve as he pulled away.

"Nick there's a bomb....."

"It's okay Nat, I'll get him out."  He touched her cheek and then disappeared 
into the house.

The flames had engulfed the whole room as the influx of air through the roof 
and window fed the flames.  Nick spotted Kyle  unconscious only moments 
before he saw the bomb.  He had only seconds before it exploded. Using vampire 
speed he lunged for the chair and Kyle, driving them both  through the wall in 
the next room as the bomb exploded.  It seemed like the house was collapsing 
around them as Nick covered Kyle with his  body.  Pain ripped through his 
shoulder and his heart as he pulled himself off Kyle.  Kyle awoke to Nick's 
scream as he watched him try to pull a wooden shaft from his shoulder with no 
success.

Panting from the exertion and the pain Nick finally resorted to cursing as he 
tried once more to remove the offending stake.  "Damn...Damn me to Hell!  Of 
course it had to be wood."  Nick met Kyle's eyes as he finished the last epitaph 
and finally broke the stake off at the exit point close to his heart.  

"How....how did you do that?"  Kyle managed weakly.

Using  a simple hypnotic suggestion he responded. "Adrenaline!  Now let's get 
you out of  here."  Nick reached to help him up. 

Kyle screamed in pain as he tried to rise and his legs buckled underneath.  The 
world went dark as Kyle felt strong arms throw him over a shoulder and move 
quickly outside.

Tracy grabbed Nat as the explosion went off and she lunged for the house.
"No!!  Tracy, let me go!  Let me go!"  She struggled to free herself as she 
saw them come around the side of the house.  

Nick carried Kyle away from the flames and dropped him as his own strength 
began to fade from loss of blood and the stake.  Kyle was unconscious as the 
paramedics started first aid.  Tracy and Nat ran across the yard to Nick as he 
started back to the burning house.

"Nick!"  Nat screamed as she watched him turn back toward the flames.  "You 
can't....."

Nick turned to her voice.  "No one deserves to die like that Nat.... not even a 
murder." He lunged back through the hole he came through only moments 
before.

Tears poured down her face as she checked on Kyle and watched the house for 
Nick.  A second explosion rocked the building as the gas furnace obviously 
exploded.  Natalie jerked forward again screaming Nick's name as the 
paramedic restrained her.

Trace came to her side as she collapsed to her knees in the grass.  She couldn't 
tear her eyes from the burning building as the pain racked her soul. Then she 
saw a weary figure pull himself up off the ground on the far side of the house.  
She pushed Tracy away and ran to him.

Nick pulled himself up slowly with the help of  the nearby tree as his strength 
began to wane.  He couldn't reach Carl in time.  The flames had already 
engulfed him before the second explosion.  Nick had hurled himself through the 
bedroom window only seconds before the furnace exploded.  Within seconds 
Natalie was in his arms.

 The tears ran down her cheeks freely as she ran her fingers across his smut 
filled face and into his dirty encrusted hair.  He held on tightly breathing in her 
smell and warmth to give him strength.

She pulled away slightly to let her eyes meet his.  "Don't EVER do that to me 
again.  Do YOU hear me Nick?  I don't......."

He pulled her back into his embrace placing her head on his right shoulder and 
burying his face in the mass of auburn curls he adored so much.
 
 "Dr. Lambert....?"  The paramedic interrupted nervously.  "Ah.....Dr. Stephens 
is awake and asking for you....."

Nat looked at the young man and then back to Nick.  "Tell him I'll be right 
there."  She never let her eyes leave Nick's as she spoke looking for 
understanding in his eyes.

"Go on Nat!  He needs you.  I'm fine."  

She looked at him skeptically.

"Really.....Go!"

She turned to walk back to Kyle with the paramedic at her side.

Nick watched her kneel down at Kyle's side and gently brush his forehead  with 
her fingertips.  Finally the pain from the stake and his obvious loss forced him 
to leave.

End Part 12


What Real Love Is?
Part 13

Kyle watched them from a distance as the paramedic worked on his leg.  It was 
Nick's name she screamed when the house exploded.  It was Knight that she 
wept for in the middle of the lawn when she thought he was dead....Not him but 
Nick.  He had lost the battle before it began.  Knight  hadn't responded the way 
he should.  He had tried mental games, jealousy and finally force.  If he could 
have only made Nick lose it, Natalie would see that only  HE could make her 
happy.  Why didn't Nick respond in anger?  It was Knight's 'almighty good 
guy' act that had her.  Her was sure.   Maybe a more compassionate, 
concerned approach on his part would convince her.  He closed his eyes as she 
approached.   

Natalie knelt down beside Kyle's still form and brushed the dirt gently from his 
face.  Slowly he opened his eyes wincing from the pain radiating from his leg. 
He watched her face closely as she began checking his leg.  The bleeding was 
minimal and the break clean.  Once again Kyle would escape relatively 
unharmed.  He watched her auburn hair fly in the wind as she continued  her 
examination.  She was methodical and gentle, and when she return to his face 
genuine concern was obvious......but not love.  Her heart was elsewhere but he 
was determined to win it back.

"Nat?"  He asked softly.  

"I'm right here Kyle.  You are going to be all right.  You have broken you leg 
and your collarbone, but they're clean breaks.  You'll be fine."  She smiled as 
she pulled the blanket over him to keep him for going into shock.

Kyle slowly shook his head no, before he spoke in broken sentences.  "No!.... 
Nat?  Nick?....   He was hurt......Is Nick okay?"  Forcing the words out 
breathlessly for effect.   

Natalie tried to make sense of his broken sentences.  Nick was all right.  She 
had held him safe in her arms only moments ago.  He was okay.  "Kyle, you're 
not making sense.  Nick's fine."  She tried to calm him down.

Kyle tried again only slower this time.  "When the bomb went off Nick covered 
my body with his.  When I woke up, he was cursing about the stake being made 
of wood."  Kyle grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him.  "Natalie, he 
broke the stake off and carried me out of the house.  He has to be hurt!"  He 
touched the stain on her white blouse and brought back blood on his fingertips.  
"Unless you want to tell me that you're bleeding that bad?"

Nat stared at the blood on Kyle's fingers and drew her hand to the wet spot on 
her blouse....Nick's blood.  She let her mind drift back earlier to Nick 
holding her against his shoulder.  She realized now that he had deliberately 
pulled her away from his left shoulder.  A cold fear enveloped her as she spoke.

"It was a wood stake?  You're sure Kyle?"  She looked at his eyes as he nodded 
an affirmative answer.

This wasn't the response he had expected.  He was still hazy about what
happened prior to the explosion, but he remembered the stake protruding out of 
Nick's shoulder.  Maybe he would die and solve all the problems.  Adrenaline, 
Nick said...as if that simple word could really explain what happened.  Knight 
did save his life...he would give him that.  Natalie's face had turned ashen as 
she jumped up.

"Nat!  Wait...." She could no longer hear his call as she sprinted past the 
paramedics.

Simple fear was now replaced with terror as she ran towards the nearest police 
car.  She jumped behind the wheel and threw the car in gear. Looking at the 
horizon as she sped out of the driveway, she realized it was almost dawn.  The 
sun was cresting the horizon as she flipped on the siren and lights and pushed 
the car to 80.

----------------

Nick stood in the corner of his loft, facing the window with his back to the wall.  
He had stood there thousands of times watching the sun crest the horizon and 
slowly filter into the room until he was forced to close the shade.  He wanted to 
watch it as long as possible today and remember.....

She saw the one shade still up as she jumped out of the squad car.  There was no 
time for the lift so she took the stairs two at a time.  When she opened the door, 
she could see him leaning against the wall.  He was staring quietly at the sun 
light as if slowly inched across the floor toward him.  Desperately she looked for 
the remote,  then notices it on the couch out of his reach.  He looked okay, but 
Nick didn't move as she walked into the sunlight and stood facing him.  Blue 
eyes met hers as she finally spoke.

"Did you plan on just letting me find a pile of ashes when I showed up or did 
you have something cleaner in mind."  She didn't mean for it to come out so 
harsh, but Damn him...suicide was not the answer for their problems. They just 
needed time. 

He chuckled softly.  "Not to worry Nat.  The sun won't hit this corner for at least 
another half hour.....trust me.......I know.....and by then it won't matter."  He 
slowly slid to the floor as the blood trailed down the wall behind him.

"Nick!"  Natalie screamed, trying to catch him before he hit the floor and fell 
into the sun.  She leaned him carefully against the corner wall and started to hit 
the remote.

"No, Nat!  I want to see you in the sun.  You look so beautiful in the sun! You 
belong in the sun Nat.....always stay in the sun!"  He reached to touch her hair 
letting the sun burn his finger for his efforts.  

She leaned forward pulling his hand in her hair out of the sun.  Pain was etched 
across his face as his normal pale color took on a gray cast.  "Nick, let me see 
your shoulder......let me get it out!"  She pulled his shirt back, exposing the 
wood shard protruding about a half inch from  his chest.   It angled through his 
shoulder and exited just above his heart. It was wood and it had to be touching 
his heart.  The blood had soaked the front of his shirt and continued to flow as 
she searched her mind for a way to remove it quickly.

 "Nick you have to help me....."

He stopped her probing fingers and brought them to his lips.  He kissed them 
gently and then held them flat against his chest.  "It's over Nat.  It will set us 
both free."  He never let his eye release hers.  "I want you happy and I can't 
make you happy.  I know that now."  He whispered in labored breathes pulling 
her to him one last time.  Her warmth radiated through him as he buried his face 
into her hair and breathed deeply the scent that would be with him forever. 

 "Be happy Natalie and know that I have always loved you."

"No!!!!!!!Nick!!!  I won't let you go!"  She screamed as the tears streamed down 
her face.  She pulled away from slightly and reached for the stake.  Pushing hard 
with her thumb, she forced the stake back through his body.  Nick screamed in 
agony as the stake moved, then screamed again as she grabbed the stake from 
the back and pulled it out.   As she tore it free from his body  he collapsed in her 
arms.

The blood and tears flowed freely as she scrambled across the room to her 
medical bag.  She grabbed two bottles of blood from the refrigerator and a towel 
as she passed  the kitchen.  Kneeling down beside him as the tears continued to 
flow, she applied pressure to the wound.  She had to give his body time to heal.  
He needed blood.  Releasing the pressure long enough to pour some blood down 
his throat, she waited as his color continued to turn completely gray and his 
breathing raspy.

"Damn you Nick!  Fight this!  Fight it!  For Us!  You're the only thing that will 
make me happy.  Please, Nick."  She pressed her warm wet cheek to his cool 
one.  "I love you Nick.  Only you can make me happy......know that...only 
you." 

 Reaching for the scalple in her bag she sliced her wrist in one fluid motion 
watching the blood start to flow freely.  Her blood....human blood was the only 
answer.  She started to place it on his lips when a cold blistered had clamped the 
blood flow off and jerked her to her feet.

End Part 13

What Real Love Is?
Part 14/14
The Finale

Natalie found herself staring into the cold blue eyes of LaCroix.  The sun had 
blistered his face as well as his hands.   Slowly he turned her wrist over to stare 
at the blood seeping between his fingers and unconsciously licked his dried lips 
before he spoke.

"Interesting idea DOCTOR!  Not effective in this case...but non-the less 
enticing to say the least."  He let his eyes meet hers again as Natalie jerked her 
wrist free and stepped back.  She stared at the blood flowing down her fingertips 
and immediately knelt back down to Nick without responding.

LaCroix pulled her wrist away from Nick a second time, preventing her from 
giving him the blood he so desperately needed to survive..."Let me go LaCroix!" 
she growled between her efforts in trying to break his hold.  "He needs human 
blood!  He will die without it."

LaCroix maintained his hold on her bleeding wrist and pulled her hard into his 
body locking her into his arms as he spoke.  "You blood will not cure a wound to 
the heart Doctor.  Only vampire blood can save him now."  He let his soothing 
voice radiate over her chaotic mind as he spoke the words calmly into her ear.

Natalie stopped struggling in his embrace and willed herself back into control. 
Was is LaCroix's calm or self control?  She didn't know or care at this point.  
She was losing Nick and if vampire blood would cure him then she would deal 
with the devil himself to get it.  "Then help him before it is to late!"  She relaxed 
in his arms and brought her eyes back to his.  "Name your price!"

He smiled as he released her slowly, letting his gaze take in his dying son.  "It 
would appear Doctor that Nicholas has out done himself this time...or should I 
say he chose not to continue with the current situation as it stands.   Your doing 
I presume?"


"Don't be smug!  He was hurt in an explosion trying to save several people." She 
glared back at him.

"Of which you were one I presume!"  A knowing smile crossed his lips as he 
knelt down by his son.  ".....which makes it your fault." Guilt was an incredible 
weapon that he had perfected over the centuries.  Natalie was not immune and 
he knew it.  He finally let his eyes return to hers as his fangs descended and his 
steel blue eyes became golden.  "The price will be named later Doctor;  just 
remember that I always collect my debts." 

LaCroix ripped the flesh on his now healed wrist. Placing his wrist over Nicks 
pale lips, he let the blood flow.  As the blood ran into his throat, Nick groaned 
and pulled away.

LaCroix picked his son up from the floor and carried him to the couch, where he 
tried to feed Nick again.  "Drink Nicholas!"  He forced his bleeding wrist into 
Nick's mouth yet he refused to drink.  "Damn you Nicholas!  Drink it or you will 
die!"

Nick pulled them to the floor as he struggled weakly against LaCroix's 
insistence to feed.  "Your price is too...High, LaCroix!" he managed weakly.  I 
do not accept...." Nick coughed blood as he spoke through the pain ravaging his 
body.  "Too high...." his body could not fight the inevitable any longer as he 
succumbed to the darkness.

LaCroix's eyes turned red with anger as he tried forcing his blood into his son's 
mouth against his will.  Screaming in anger, LaCroix realized that Nick was 
beyond drinking as he slowly slid into unconsciousness.

Natalie watched as the man she had grown to love lay dying in his Father's 
arms, knowing somehow this battle had to do with her.  She would not lose 
Nick...not now...not after all they had been through to get here...not because of 
some long lost battle between master and child.   She knelt down by LaCroix as 
he held Nick to his breast, and watched his emotions rage between grief for his 
son and hatred for her.

"Give me your arm!"  She commanded as she forced LaCroix to focus on her 
instead of Nicholas.  When his eyes met hers, the rage he felt exploded as he 
laid Nicholas down and grabbed her viciously by the shoulders.

"I should kill you now as he dies!" he growled exposing his fangs as he spoke.

"Is that what you want...to let him die? Is that why you came here and risk being 
burned alive by the sun?  I don't think so!  GIVE ME YOUR ARM!  Only 
together can we save him!"  Anger and tears flooded her eyes as she forced 
LaCroix into a decision.

The cold blue steel of his eyes returned as he offered her his arm.  Rapidly she 
placed a shunt into his arm and set up a stringer to a large needle which she 
implanted directly into Nick's stomach.  She released the tourniquet and let 
LaCroix's blood flow directly into Nick.  She brushed the blonde hair from 
Nick's face lovingly as she checked the wound over his heart.  LaCroix's blood 
caused  an immediate reaction to the wound.  Nick was healing and his 
breathing became less shallow.

LaCroix sat watching her as she tended his son.  The love his son felt for this 
woman was beyond anything LaCroix had experienced in his lifetime.  His son 
was regaining his humanity through this woman.  Their trust and faith in each 
other would not be shaken even by pain or doubt. They were soulmates bound 
only to each other through time, yet unaware of what they possessed.  Only time 
would determine the outcome of their quest.   Envy and sadness overwhelmed 
him at his loss.  Nicholas would never again be his.

Natalie turned to watch LaCroix as his blood continued to flow into Nick. 
  During this process she 
had learned something.  Vampires can truly love not matter what LaCroix 
would say.  The pain and anger she witnessed from him moments ago were 
based on love...nothing else.   LaCroix truly loved Nick...and that was a weapon 
she could understand as well as use.

She watched LaCroix start to fade away.  She pulled the shunt from his arm and 
Nick's stomach in one quick motion.  As he fell forward, Natalie caught 
LaCroix's head in her arms and lower it to her lap as she sat beside Nick. 
Overwhelmed with relief she baited him, "I think you need a little pick me up 
Monsieur LaCroix.  Did you bring your own stock or are you going to have to 
imbibe some of Nicholas' 'swill' as I believe you call it."   She ran her warm 
hand down his cheek slowly in a tender caress that caught him unaware.  He 
was unprepared for such tenderness and it confused him . He responded in the 
usual way.

"You could offer me some of your special vintage Doctor or is that solely for 
Nicholas and medicinal purposes?"  His eyes were clear again as he lay in her 
lap trying to mentally push her, but she only smiled.

"That vintage is for medicinal purpose only...for BOTH you and Nick... but I 
will  bring you some of that delicious 'swill' that will put the color back into 
those cheeks...oh...I'm sorry you don't like color do you?  Sorry, forgot myself 
again.  Black and pale that's the vampire motto.  One must always look the 
part."  She helped him up smiling at his discomfort.  He truly could not deal 
with her humor and that intrigued her even more.  There was more to Lucien 
LaCroix than just pure evil, and she would find out what in time.

Natalie poured a glass of bloodwine from the frig and brought the bottle with 
her.  She handed the glass to him and waited to refill the glass.  He gulped the 
blood in one swift motion grimacing as he swallowed.  Natalie refilled the glass 
and laughed.

"I'm glad you find this amusing Doctor, but frankly I find Nicholas taste in 
beverages appalling."  He drank the second glass as swiftly as the first with the 
same facial expression.

"Here I thought the older you got the more taste buds you lost."  She smiled and 
handed him the bottle which he grudgingly took.  She went to Nick's side and 
checked his wound again.  It was almost healed and his color was returning; that 
was if  you could call pale a color.  She then returned her attention back to 
LaCroix.

"Thank you!"  It was simple statement that she said not only with her words but 
her eyes.

"You're an interesting creature Doctor!  I believe I can finally see Nicholas's 
fascination with you...indeed...I think you require closer attention than Nicholas 
has given you in the past."  He let the meaning of his word sink in and smirked 
at her startled reaction.

"I think I shall rest now.  I will leave you and Nicholas the floor since I don't 
believe he is going anywhere soon, and he obviously does not prefer the couch.  I 
shall try the bed upstairs." Seemingly unruffled by the entire experience, he 
gracefully stood and removed  some unseen dirt from his jacket before he met 
her gaze.

"Goodnight Doctor...pleasant dreams." Then he was gone.

Nat rummaged through the closet in the bathroom and found a blanket and 
pillow.  Settling down on the floor beside Nick, she covered them both with the 
blanket and slept.

------------------

Nick awoke to find Nat nestled in his arms on the floor.  Relief flooded his body 
as he felt her heart beat regularly as she slept.  It was some time after dusk.  His 
vampire senses told him LaCroix was gone but his blood ran in his veins.  
Nick's entire body was stiff and his shoulder ached when he tried moving.  He 
didn't understand any of this.  What he felt from his master's blood was mingled 
with rage, anger, pain and confusion all directed at Natalie.  Why had he not 
killed her?  Wasn't that his promise on Valentine's Day?  The price of his life 
was 
Natalie's death...it was in his blood.

"Nat?"  Nick pulled her closer as he whispered into her hair.  "Nat..."

Her sleepy eyes met his and joy flooded her entire face.  Slowly she ran her 
fingers down his face as if to memorize it for all time and then she kissed him; 
first gently on each cheek and finally on the lips.  

Nick let himself bask in the warmth of her smile and her love with each kiss 
until her lips found his and he was lost.  The pain, distrust and doubts were all 
swept away as he let himself truly feel her love for him.  When he released her a 
single tear slid down her cheek before she spoke.

"Say it Nick!"  Her eyes begged him.

He brought one hand to her face and brushed her auburn locks out of her face 
and smiled.  "I love you Nat...and I think I always have."

She smiled as the tears began to flow.  "Say it again!  I need to hear it again," 
she whispered.

He kissed her slowly and passionately until she had lost all sense to breathe and 
he finally responded.  "We WILL be together...I promise.  I love you 
Natalie....now....and forever."

The End

Back to the Fiction Page


This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page
1