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Sung to the tune of "The Muppet Show" (Opening)
Standard disclaimers and copyright apply. 
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Lacroix:  It's the  Vampire Show with our Very Special Dinner Guest, ... 

Mortals:  It's time to play the music
            It's time to dim the lights 
            It's time to meet the Vampires on the Vampire Show tonight.

Vampires: It's time to extend the fangs
            It's time to take a bite
            It's time to raise the globets on the Vampire Show tonight.

Nick:  Why do I always come here 
Vachon: The blood is as good as gold
Nick:  It's like a kind of torture 
both:     To have to be in the show 

(brief interlude while Lacroix moves behind the guest)

Vampires: And now let's get things started 
Mortals: Please don't get things started 
Lacroix: It's time to get things started 
Vampires: on the most sensational exasperational angstyrational Vampirational
       this is what we call the Vampire Show!

(Lacroix extends his fangs)

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