World Domination of Sporks

Ouch, it bit me!

I spat it out with a touch of regret. It was somewhat different from the others. I could taste the difference. That was the day I lived to fear the powers of the awesome spork (Webster's dictionary defined as: (Danceth with Plasticitis) Biomutant composed of several toxic chemicals, which is often used as a utensil and allowed to come in contact with the digestive system. Parents unknown)

It was a hopeless situation. I knew only that it overpowered me with its many edges. Nobody seemed to notice around me. However, the spork rested where it lay, and did not attempt movement of any sort. I knew it was cleverly camouflaged against the concrete, which was a bright lavender with green polka dots. I stealthly took out the bottle of sacred water from my backpack, which I always kept because of those vampires who bite me during math. Stalking it, I crept closer to the spork. It remained inanimate. I sensed its fear, oozing out of the handle. It knew. I struck quickly. My work was done. I sprinked holy water over the remnants of the spork. It laid there, broken into several pieces of biohazard.

In its dying gasp, it gestured for me to come closer. It said, "My people are overpopulating the world right now. This school will become a dumping ground for the likes of us. You cannot defeat us! Your school (it was where this incident took place) will not be habitable until the year 8937.263!" Boy, talk about a bad plot! Just like those movies in which the evil antagonists reveal their plot with their dying gasp. I had my oportunity to gloat, however. I replied, "You fool! It already is uninhabitable! Just look! We have learned to co-exist with disgusting materials of all sorts!" It looked, and saw it was true. "How disgusting!" it cried. I nodded my sympathies. Thus, I came about to realize that we are dirty and cannot exist while polluting this planet anymore. I am making a bioweapon to kill everything on this planet. Before I die, however, I will reveal my entire plan (ie. where the warhead will strike, who it will affect (like that's a hard one to figure out), and who will be going to h*ll).

~Vader224~

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