"Serve the Emperor" Seminar Invitation
The prestegious Imperial Academy of Cardia has extended invitations to individuals from each and every world, whether loyal or otherwise, to attend the seminar addressing the most-often asked questions of the elite: How do stormtroopers fit into their suits when all that they can use is the neck opening (besides the jock strap... however, that is completely out of the question)? Also, special speakers, including a holosession with the late Grand Moff Aiama Traitor* will feature several interesting jokes about the current situation. (What do you call a Trekkie who has a fist shoved up his nose? ----- Captain Pick Hard) or (How many stormtroopers does it take to change a light bulb? ----- Seven; one to change the light bulb, and six others to fight over who will break the bulb and become demoted). Free beverages, food, as well as poison (for you jealous types) will be provided. We shall enjoy having you attend, take advantage of our offer, spy upon our system, incite revolts, and leave satisfactorily (not necessarily in that order).
Directions to Cardia: Take a 360 degree turn off of Hyperlane 8912, followed by an immediate course set for the center sun of the Cardia system. Several Interceptors will immediately come to escort your transport. Do not be alarmed -- they only wish to relieve you of any valuable possessions.
* Note: It is not known whether the prestegious Grand Moff has any affiliation with the Alliance, as it is still under investigation. However, just last year, while sifting through the back trash bin, investigators found the records stating that twenty million Imperial credits have been delieverered into the personal credit account of Mon Mothma. No evidence of any consequence has been found. Suspects that may attend and incite a revolt include local misfit Amiq Ing Abom, who is a human at age ninety-six. He is well known as a troublemaker, though restrained to his hoverchair, and is incapable of speech, transporting himself, nor vision.
~Vader224~