Probably the most perfect movie ever made. Every aspect of this movie reaches a level of perfection unmatched by any other film. There is no excess footage, and every scene that exists furthers the story - not in a muddled, confusing way, like "Episode II, Attack of the Clones", but in a way we relish and can't wait for more. Yes, this is a popular movie, and yes, Eric likes it despite that. The HERD all went to see it and I STILL like it! Further proof that this movie defies convention. Even the casual movie-goer will notice the attention to detail, especially in the use of the colors green, red, and blue that visually gives the movie more of a feeling that it is a work of art rather than just another movie. The cinematography is so fantastic that some of the camera shots almost overshadow what is being filmed. As I have often seen, the literal translation of the title is not used. The box says 'Amelie', the subtitle says 'Amelie from Monmartre', and the actual translation is 'The Fabulous Destiny of Amelie Poulain'. Yes, this movie is a love story, and no, it is not normal. It is about a strange girl who loves helping others, but has trouble helping herself and how she is instantly drawn to a strange boy who works at a carnival and a porn shop and goes around a Paris that does not exist in the real world collecting torn up photographs. Everything about this movie is so comfortable that it seems familiar, but it isn't - EVERYTHING is new and fresh. This being #1 on my list, it has been the subject of many movie arguments. I am simply astonished that I feel compelled to write the next sentence. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A NORMAL, COMMON LOVE STORY, NOR ARE THE CHARACTERS REHASHED. I read a review written by a pretentious retard who tried very hard to pretend he didn't like this movie and that everything in it was stupid and rehashed, and he actually said, "yet again in a movie we see a hypochondriac cigarette vendor". (Please God, let them all notice the irony in that last sentence...) Gosh, that reviewer must also be sick of seeing yet another movie with crippled, half retarded grocery delivery boy; yet another movie with a guy that collects footprints and torn up photomaton pictures; yet another movie with an insightful character who has Osteogenesis Imperfecta and can't even leave his apartment; yet another movie where the ex-boyfriend stalks his former lover at a distance of 10 feet at her workplace while making notes in a tape recorder...

2. Rang-e Khoda (The Color of Paradise)

3. Vampire’s Kiss - Brilliant is the only word that describes the performance by Nicholas Cage in this movie. Or brave. When I first saw this movie, I couldn't decide if this was supposed to be funny or not (turns out it IS supposed to be funny). Clearly, the performance by Cage is excessive at the very least, and the stuff he does in this movie is the result of a whole lot of creativity on someone's part. He confronts two strangers on the street while holding a jagged piece of wood - 'My girlfriend broke up with me, I'm a vampire, KILL ME!'. What more can be said?

4. La Pianiste (The Piano Teacher) - The most bizarre and interesting movie I have seen. This movie is highly disturbing, but once you realize it is one giant metaphor, it is easier to take. This movie is UR, and in this country that means if you have seen it, it probably wasn't in a theater - a sad, sad, sad fact of America. What is the metaphor? Seduction, control, and the resulting pain are all personified in the role of Erika Kohut, played by Isabelle Huppert. There are a few scenes that will make you uncomfortable, and the powerful final scene will make you cringe. The whole movie will make you like foreign cinema. If you don't like this movie, or at least appreciate it, you are a common idiot, and you should stick with "Dude, Where's My Car?" so your brain won't hurt.

5. Whale Rider

6. Magnolia - The acting alone makes this movie worth watching. Take a group of brilliant actors and say 'GO' must have been what happened here. John C. Riley is one of the most underused actors around (yes, he is underused - bit parts don't count), and it is great to see him in a film where he is let loose by the director. His role as the do-good cop is great, whose constant need to help people makes it no wonder he went for the coke-head with lots of personal problems. To me, this movie needed a little more resolution in some of the subplots, but I suppose with a run time of 2 hours and 59 minutes, they figured they were done. When I watched this movie for the first time, I never noticed the time, and was expecting at least another 30 minutes. What is this movie about? Despite the accusations of lesser educated individuals that this is a boring move with no plot, this is in no way an easy or timid film, and if they cared to pay attention for a little longer and with a little more brain power than is required by the average John Woo joint, they would see a film that easily would end up somewhere in their 'top 5 all time favorite'. The movie can be summed up easily, and this is what I tell the aforementioned morons when arguing about this movie - 'Everything can be suddenly affected by amazing events, and we are naive and persistent in that we still try to plan our lives'. This movie is about life, death, love, hate, deceit, crime, greed, and guilt, and how they all intertwine in everybody's life all the time wether they want it to or not. As for the plot, there is clearly one main plot - Earl Partridge is dying, and wants to see his son again, who he has not seen in many years since cheating on his wife and then walking out. The son, Frank T. J. Mackey, does not really want to see him, and we see by what he does for a living that this character is greatly affected by his fathers' earlier actions. There are several subplots stemming from the life of Earl Partridge (except the cop) - we see the life of a game show host who works for Earl's television station - we see the life of one of the game show's contestants, a brilliant child with an overbearing father - we see the life of Donnie Smith, who was a winning child contestant on the same show 30 years ago - we see the life of Earl's May-December wife - and we see the life of Officer Kurring, who exists to bring hope and help to each character he sees, and eventually ends up with the daughter of the game show host. As for the event many claim is a movie cop-out to bring the characters together, ask yourself - did the characters even needed to be brought together? And weren't they all in the process of being brought together anyway despite the event? If you follow - the mother was already on her way to see the dauther, the cop was already turning around to confront Donnie Smith, the kid was already freaked out by what happened on the game show, and the Frank was already with his father. The event is just something that happens, something no one can predict and no one can imagine. Is it any stranger that anything that has happened in real life?

7. Sling Blade - Although the final event in this movie is obvious and somewhat inevitable, the understated quality of the entire films leads you to think it can't happen, but it does. Like many movies on my list, this also has deliberate pacing, which only adds to the understated quality. Many filmakers feel the need to rig up a bunch of explosions right after a scene of mostly dialogue, and that is because mostly idiots go to the movies and the filmakers cater to them to keep their bums in the seats. If you have never seen this movie, please watch it and do American society a favor, because after watching this movie you will learn to loathe John-Woo-drivel-action-movies, and maybe if enough people STOP giving money in exchange for bullshit they would quit shoveling it at us. If they don't stop, I will kill them with a lawnmower blade and then eat biscuits.

8. Code inconnu: Récit incomplet de divers voyages (Code Unknown) - Again, the foregn "cinema" seems to be superior to American "movies". This movie has an effortless appearance, and again the foreigners don't treat me, the viewer, like an idot. They assume I can follow a story, and the obvious isn't overstated over and over. The common American movie-goer will not like this movie at all, and that is too bad. (Film fans: please watch this movie and you will see what I mean, and it will make you sad too; sad (empatheticly) that such a beautiful film won't be appreciated by the herd, and sad that you will understand why the herd won't like it.) Yes, there were things in the movie I didn't understand at first, and the whole point of a movie like this is to make you think. The deaf children playing the drums was the most unexpected thing I have seen in a while in a movie. The last 20 minutes of the movie thrums with the drums, and it is quite moving. If you don't want to think, then check out whatever is #1 at the box office and waste your goddam money, time, and brain power.

9. Le Battement D'Ailes du Papillon (Happenstance) - I just watched this movie again, and I must reiterate that it has the BEST ending to any movie. Ever. Ever. Ever. The cover on my DVD case is a still of Audrey Tautou from the movie "Vénus Beauté Institut", and I have no idea why. That too was a quite fine film (though not good enough to be on this list). Perhaps they thought she looked more cute with her pigtails? All through "Happenstance" she has a pretty gloomy look on her face. And again, the real translation, 'The Beating of the Butterfly's Wings', is oddly not used as the translated title. I suppose Mirimax thought most Americans wouldn't know what Chaos Theory is (exept for those who saw or read "Jurrasic Park". Ian Malcom says - "A butterfly beats its wings in Peking and in Central Park you get rain instead of sunshine".). The movie is based on chaos theory, and how one small event can affect the outcome of seemingly unrelated events, which all lead back to one event. The movie is a whirlwind of wonderous cause and effect, as we follow the chain of chaos as it intertwines between several characters (about 20?). The ending seems inevitable despite this, but it is at the same time a very brave ending. Too bad we have to go overseas for a gem like this one, but an ending like this would NEVER come out of Hollywood.

10. Boogie Nights - A.K.A., 'How an Idiot Becomes Dirk Diggler'. If you have no interest in a movie about porn, this movie deserves to be seen anyway merely on the basis of acting. Like in 'Magnolia', P.T. Anderson gathered some great actors and said 'GO' (pretty much the same actors, too). We follow the life of Eddie Adams as he is discovered by a porn director, through his porn career, and through the aftermath as things careen out of control. Also like 'Magnolia', this movie has several subplots with some of the other porn stars, but even the subplots pretty much stay focused on Eddie/Dirk. I was real dissapointed to see yet another 'how drugs can make things bad' theme show up in yet another movie, but at least some of the drug material is shown at a fresh angle. I was quite pleased to see real porn stars in the movie, and I'm not sure why (Nina Hartley, Veronica Hart, Skye Blue, Summer Cummings, there may have been more). The 'giveaway' at the end leads you to think about the entire movie, and how this guy's entire life was merely because he was pushing thirteen. The fact that he does not realize this is what makes him tragic.

11. Taxi Driver - How a psycho can be a hero. I am so glad this is an 'accepted' film. This is a 100% original story. We need movies like this to make me believe there is a reason to keep watching movies, and keep allowing Hollywood to make movies.

12. Pulp Fiction - If not for the first nine on this list, this would be number one! I am still upset this movie was spoiled for me by an idiot. There is so much to be said about this movie, there is not room here. The dialogue is perfect, the 'out of order' arrangement of the scenes keeps you wondering, and most of the casting is unbelieveable. John Travolta steals the show, and is the best thing to come out of this movie. Bruce Willis overacts a bit (qutie a bit), and Uma Thuman doesn't act enough (seems like she is just trying to remember the lines), and without them, this movie would be nubmer one or number two on my list. This movie was tied for number one with Vampire's Kiss for a long time.

13. Hable Con Ella (Talk to Her)

14. Blood In, Blood Out - A three hour drama made by a white guy about two latin american brothers and their half-white cousin. See Benjamin Bratt, Billy Bob Thornton and Ving Rhames before they were famous. The movie was written by a hispanic guy who had never written anything before, and directed by a white guy who can't possibly have any insight whatsoever into the hispanic East L.A. lifestyle - both of them seemed to have taken the material dead serious. How can this combination possibly work? The unmitigated effrontery of this combination makes for a very interesting and strained film. There are many awkward and seemingly unnecessary racial slurs, and many minority stereotypes (some old, some new). It is so borderline cheezy, that it makes you examine the reason sterotypes exist. If not for the serious nature of the everyone, including the actors, this would have been a horrible movie. This movie is an example of what I would like every filmaker to do - take a chance, try something different and new, stay committed, and make a great movie.

15. Fargo - Brilliantly understated. The matter-of-fact filming and delivery is very cool. This movie is pure story, the camera is just along for the ride, and the music is minimal. It is the highest "pure story" movie on my list (no overly dramatic acting, no self indulgent cinematography, etc). These types of movies are good because they rely only on the story, and that is all that is necessary.

16. The Searchers - The best western ever made, and the darkest character played by John Wayne, full of racism and obsession. This is the 'Lord of the Rings' of westerns.

17. Punch Drunk Love - The anger of Bobby Boucher is focused into a P.T. Anderson movie. Another acting spectacle.

18. When Harry Met Sally - This is a great movie, and with a better editing, it would have been in my top 10. It could have had one of the best last lines, when Sally says to Harry, "I hate you Harry, I hate you". But the editors really thought Billy Crystal's pontifications about the new year's eve song was just too funny, and left it in the movie, thus ruining the end. There was a theme running throughout, where we would cut to random old couples every so often, and we would hear a brief story about how they met. Harry and Sally have their own scene like this at the end (even though they are not old, and we just saw the story for ourselves), which would have been better left at the END of the credits as a clever reward for people who like to hang around at the end of movies (like in 'Ferris Bueler's Day Off'), or played split screen with the credits (like in the 'Burt Reynolds' and 'Jackie Chan' movies). Why do I call this a great movie, when the story is recycled and we are one step ahead of the two main characters the whole way? Because Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan just plain 'work' together in this movie, and they make the witty dialogue their own. Also, this is a masterful look at the old material, (almost like what Ridley Scott TRIED to do in 'Gladiator' - a film that confused depression with personality). Billy tried again in 'Forget Paris', but it was just not the same - perhaps it was because we already knew the story, or because we had Deborah Winger and not Meg Ryan.

19. Raising Arizona

20. Birthday Girl

21. Rear Window - The movie is riveting despite being filmed from one point of view and in one room. Most people don't even notice there is hardly any dialogue either - a good portion of the story is told through visuals only, which puts to good use the canvas of film.

22. Lost in America - I get really pissed when I finally see a movie like 'Lost in America', and wonder why I never heard about it. This is a great, hilarious movie about an older couple who grew up in the free love '60s, who now work in mainstream society, and decide to leave it all behind. After they sell their house and cars and everything, they buy a Winnebago and plan on cruising around to wherever they feel like. I have never seen Albert Brooks be this funny, but I always knew he had it in him. This movie is criminally short, as the freshness of the material could have led to much much more.

23. Memento - I finally figured out what the heck happens in this movie. **SPOILER ALERT** Lenny's wife is being attacked, he goes in to help, he gets hit on the head. His wife does not die, but he ends up with a memory problem. He IS who he describes as Sammy Jankis though, and LENNY actually ends up killing his wife with insulin (there is a single frame switch of Lenny for Sammy in the mental hospital, right as the doctor walks in front of the camera, which in my eyes verifies Teddy's claim). Teddy is a cop, although not the best one to call when in trouble, and he uses Lenny to try to get a lot of money from a drug dealer go-between. Perhaps in a way, Teddy is trying to help Lenny get revenge, but I don't think so - I think he has done this before, and I am reffering to the bloody picture of Lenny looking happy, and Teddy is still just using Lenny. He convinces Lenny this guy is his wife's killer, and Lenny kills him. Unfortunately for Teddy, Lenny takes the guy's clothes, and his Jag as his own, and all the money in the trunk (Teddy tries to get the Jag from Lenny several times - 'I can get that window fixed for you', 'Give me your keys and I'll follow you', 'You like my car, wanna trade', etc...). Lenny, who has trained himself to retrieve notes and pictures from his pockets, pulls out a note from the go-between's girlfriend to meet him 'after'. This is when she figures out this guy with the memory problem has probably killed her boyfriend, and she tries to get the drug dealer on to Lenny. The rest of the movie, or rather, the beginning of the movie, is self explanatory. For more clues, go to the OTNEMEM website.

24. This is Spinal Tap

25. Songcatcher

26. Fletch

27. Eyes Wide Shut

28. Apollo 13

29. Unbreakable

30. The Right Stuff

31. Fight Club - Like 'Amelie' and 'Gosford Park', this is an unbelievably complex and detailed movie. The casual viewer may not even notice the attention to detail, as it is secondary. In the theater, me and my friend Martin actually saw two of the subliminal Brad Pitt aparitions - we saw the one in front of the copy machine, and the one at the testicular cancer meeting. After buying the DVD, I saw the one in the hospital, and I never saw the one outside one of the later 'meetings' until it was pointed out on the commentary track. As I was watching the first half of this in the theater, I thought this is going to end up number one on my list, but unfortunately the second half tended to ramble and became unfocused. I really like when filmakers try to make a detailed movie that feels fresh upon repeated viewings, but sometimes they get lost in that detail and forget about the big picture. I really wish they had stuck with the direction the movie was going in at the beginning instead of deteriorating into a movie about a weird cult whose leader is insane, which is interesting, but ultimately not believable. If I had written this movie, I would have made the fight club the 'next level', as it were, in his quest to find a way to beat his insomnia.

32. Three Kings

33. Snatch

34. Steel Magnolias

35. Breakfast at Tiffany’s

36. Mary Reilly

37. For a Few Dollars More

38. The Shipping News

39. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

40. My Left Foot

41. The Professional

42. Silent Running

43. The Fifth Element

44. Hard Eight

45. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

46. American Beauty

47. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape - This is a wonderful movie, and very much a product of the '90s. There are those who say there are no new ideas, and this movie also proves that. Many movie makers admit to "borrowing" from other films. Please compare this movie to "The Last Picture Show", and you will see many of the same ideas and even the same scenes (main character tries to leave town at one point in his pickup truck, but can't, and turns around). The similar situations - main character is having an affair with a married older woman, is stuck in a small town, has a retarded brother/friend... Still a great movie, and has enough new ideas to make it fresh. Perhaps someone will steal from this movie one day...

48. Gosford Park

49. Waking Ned Devine

50. Less Than Zero

51. La Vita E Bella (Life is Beautiful)

52. Flash Gordon

53. Multiplicity

54. The Commitments

55. Leaving Las Vegas

56. The Last Picture Show

57. Fast Times at Ridgemont High

58. The Man Who Wasn’t There

59. Le Goût des Autres (The Taste of Others) - the French Pulp Fiction.

60. Casino

61. Smokey and The Bandit (part 1)

62. Cast Away

63. Moulin Rouge (The Red Windmill)

64. Blue Velvet

65. Tombstone

66. Les Filles Ne Savant Pas Nager (Girls Can't Swim)

67. The Bridge on the River Kwai

68. Chocolat

69. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

70. Southern Comfort

71. The Blues Brothers

72. Jerry Maguire

73. Heathers

74. The Piano

75. Dawn of the Dead

76. Something About Mary

77. The Dead Pool

78. Contact

79. Mulholland Drive

80. Lolita

81. 84 Charlie Mopic

82. Fitzcarraldo

83. El Dordado

84. The Crying Game

85. Just One of the Guys

86. Cheech and Chong's Next Movie

87. Rabbit-Proof Fence

88. Baran

89. Ponette

90. 101 Reykjavik

91. Star Wars

92. Betty Fisher Et Autres Histoires

93. Tron

Eric's Honorable Mention Movies

1. Mua he chieu thang dung (The Vertical Ray of the Sun) - translated literally, it is "at the height of summer". This is probably the most beautiful movie ever made. If you have a large widescreen tv and a good dvd player, you MUST rent this movie just so you can see exactly what your tv can do. It is in Vietnamese, and takes place in Vietnam. And guess what - it is NOT about the Vietnam conflict or about martial arts! I was very glad I saw this movie, but it is just too boring to be considered for the list.

2. Artemisia - this is a great movie, in French, about an Italian painter. It was really neat to see someone try to put some insight into some of Artemisia Gentileschi's paintings. The critics and historians were very angry at the implication of a consentual relationship where "history" says there was a rape. The movie, towards the end, implies Artemisia was coerced into saying she was raped, since a woman admitting to lust was apparently worse in the early 1600's. I think the critics and historians have really missed the point here: Artemisia kept saying she had sex with her art teacher because she liked it. Her hands were bound and the ropes tightened until she bled and the pain was unbearable. She finally said she was raped, which, again, is apparently not as bad as a woman saying she likes sex in the 1600's. Critics and historians - do you get the point now? If not, then open your eyes and stop and think for a few minutes. Again, too much useless sex (there's no rape, sorry) ruins what could have been a great movie.

3. Wo de fu qin mu qin (The Road Home) - translated literally, it is "my father and my mother". This movie is in mandarin, but, being this is a visual medium, there is not much dialog. This is another beautiful movie. The story takes place in modern times, and is about a son who returns to the village where he grew up in the 60's and 70's, because his father, the local teacher, has died and his mother wants to follow the tradition of bringing the body back to the village by being carried (Hence, the road home). Nobody wants to follow this old tradition. The son then recalls the romance of his father and mother, a story that apparently everyone in the village is familiar with. The next 45 minutes of the movie is the best love story to ever be put on the screen. The director gives powerful meaning to the simplest of objects, such as a hair clip, a pottery bowl, and a red jacket. The entire story is simply riveting. The movie derails horribly when the love story abruptly ends (there is still more story, but a narrator comes on and tells the rest in two sentences!?!), and the last 30 minutes is the mother sobbing and continually asking for "just one more thing" to make the dead father happy. For some reason, the director thought the focus of the movie was the father, and how the whole village and his former students respected him enough to carry his body back like the mother wanted. The love story (and the MOTHER) is the movie, not the funeral/dead teacher story. The director should have taken a step back and seen this, and reworked the last 30 minutes of the movie.

4. Sweet and Lowdown - Samantha Morton steals this movie as soon as she comes on screen. Her character is mute, so she never says a word, and does not need to. The viewer will fall in love with her, just as Sean Penn's character does. "Hattie" is one of the best movie characters ever. Tragicly, this movie focused way way too long on the horrible, and I mean HORRIBLE "finger-sinc" of Sean Penn on the guitar. I don't care what the raving movie critics, or all the press releases say - this dude didn't learn shit about the guitar before making this movie. He could at least have taken the time to learn the songs by ear, so he could at least make the "guitar face" at the right times - he was always a second behind with the face making. The terrible fake guitar playing was the most distracting thing that has ever taken me "out" of a movie. The worst scene in the movie was the jam session at the black people's house. They ALL had Penn's illness! Woody should have re-sinc'd Sean's face to the music using close-ups, and showed someone else's hands in close-ups, and left the jam session scene out.

5. The Golden Bowl - I think I was just pleased to see Uma Thurman finally act really really good. The movie just ran in circles too many times.

6. Y Tu Mama Tambien - A great and unexpected ending. Although the sex was "realistic" and not "movie sex", there was just too much of it. I like the way the story didn't seem to have a point until the ending... They should have left out all the sex, completely. One day these film makers will realize that implying and hinting at sex is sometimes more pleasing than actually showing it. In movies like this it is a distraction, a base instinct, serves no pupose for the movie or the characters, and simply does not belong in this movie. Leave the sex for movies that are supposed to have it, like "Eyes Wide Shut".

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