TITLE: My Jadzia
AUTHOR: Calicia <caliciac@yahoo.com>
CODES: DS9, D/?
RATING: R
SETTING: After ‘Tears Of The Prophets’
SUMMARY: A vignette. Someone who loved Jadzia is thinking of her.
ARCHIVING: ASCEM okay. Everyone else, please tell me.
DISCLAIMER: All hail Paramount, who think they are God. The characters 
belong to them, but this story belongs to me.


From the moment that I first saw her, I loved her. Her sleek brown hair, 
pulled back in a neat ponytail, her warm brown eyes, always full of fun, 
her symmetrical spots, dark against her pale skin.

I saw her, and wanted her to show me how far those spots went, wanted to 
count them, to know them, to know *her.* Not just as a friend, which she 
was happy to have me as, but as a lover. I wanted to know her intimately, 
and I wanted her to know me.

*My* Jadzia, though I never had the courage to call her that. She was my 
inspiration, the love of my life. She never showed any interest in me 
except as a friend, finding sexual satisfaction elsewhere.

Sometimes, I fled my feelings for her, seeking solace in the arms of 
others. Sometimes I convinced myself that I was in love with one of my 
lovers, that my Jadzia was behind me, but those relationships always ended, 
leaving me with a stronger desire for her.

Nearly every night, my dreams were filled with my Jadzia. Oh, how I wanted 
her! The mere thought of her filled me with a burning passion that amazed 
my lovers, it was a fire that they could never hope to match.

My Jadzia occupied my thoughts, both waking and sleeping. I longed to feel 
her pressed against me, to have her hands on my body. I wanted to know her 
body in every way, I wanted to touch her, to taste her. I wanted to explore 
her with both my hands and my tongue. I wanted my fingers to be inside her, 
I longed to give her pleasure like no-one else had. I wanted to bring her 
to a screaming climax, to have her beg me to continue. I wanted her so much 
that it hurt.

My Jadzia, for whom I feared. Every time she went into danger, every time 
she faced death, I was afraid. I was never afraid when it was my life at 
risk, I had cheated death so often that I no longer cared. But I was always 
afraid for her, afraid that this time she would die, that she would be 
taken from me. When death took her, it was in a place that we all thought 
was safe. She was murdered in the Temple, when I wasn’t there to protect 
her, when I was away fighting the Dominion. Death should have been my fate 
that day, not hers.

Dukat took my Jadzia from me, he robbed me of her presence. I barely made it 
through her funeral, I ignored Worf, the interloper who had come between us.

I lower my head and weep bitter tears for my Jadzia. She was my strength, my 
love, my life. She was my closest friend, and she might have truly been my 
lover, if I had ever found the courage to ask.

My commbadge beeps as I weep, Sisko calls me. I wipe the tears from my eyes, 
controlling my grief. When I reply, it is in the strong, unquavering voice 
that my Jadzia would have expected from me.

"Kira here."

~FINIS~