By Paul Cwick
Cat remained in her crouched position on the pile of dead leaves, gently rubbing her stinging eyes. She couldn’t even guess how long she’d been sitting there. Had it been one hour? Two? She didn’t think it had been three, but she really couldn’t tell; she had lost all track of time. All she could think of was the intense, burning, stinging sensation in her eyes.
Her confrontation with Norma had gone disastrously wrong. Without warning, Norma suddenly pulled out…something, and sprayed Cat right in the eyes with it, blinding her. Whether it was mace or pepper spray or what, Cat had no idea. All she knew was that she had been blinded with the hellish stuff, whatever it was. She ran off in stunned, blind panic, tripping over numerous obstacles, bumping into trees and fences, bruising herself from head to foot, and losing all sense of direction. She soon became completely lost, and now had no idea where she was. Eventually, she stumbled upon this soft, quiet spot of ground, where she collapsed to her knees. She sat there, rubbing her stricken eyes, moaning softly in pain.
Cat was at a loss; she couldn’t understand how anyone could do something so vile, so malicious and cruel as to deliberately blind another person. Especially without provocation. All Cat was trying to do was talk to Norma, that was all. Then, without warning, and for no reason at all, Norma suddenly sprayed her right in the eyes.
My god…my god… Cat thought. She’s blinded me!! I’m blinded for life! How could she do such a thing…? How could anyone do such a foul, vicious thing? I only wanted to talk to her, that’s all… She didn’t have to do this! Ohhhh god, my eyes, my eyes… What am I going to do now? What am I going to do…?
She began to cry, which only worsened the effects of the spray, further irritating her eyes. For the life of her, she couldn’t begin to imagine what she had ever done to deserve such treatment by anyone, especially the people she had formerly thought of as her friends. Why are they doing this to me? she wondered. Why are they treating me this way? Why…? I’ve never done anything to hurt them, never…and now they’re all against me! Dear Goddess, she silently prayed. What have I ever done to deserve this??
All Cat had ever done was what anyone would do under the circumstances, and that was to protect her own interests. Yet now, other people, other forces all seemed to be working in collusion to make her life miserable, no matter what she did. One by one, all the people she knew seemed to be turning against her. All she had ever wanted was to be together with Greg again. But instead of that, she now found herself alone, cold, blind and lost in the middle of the night, with no one to help her, no one to care for her. Greg had deserted her, her friends had deserted her. She had no one. She had never felt so alone in all her life. It’s not fair, she silently wept. It’s just not fair!!
Cat continued to sit and weep over her predicament for an untold period of time. But eventually, she began to notice that the burning, stinging sensation in her eyes seemed to be abating, much to her relief. She found that she was able to open and close her eyes again without too much discomfort. She was almost able to see again. Oh, thank Goddess! she thought, hopefully. Maybe it’ll clear up completely in time…
Cat painfully opened her eyes and looked around her. They still stung madly, but at least now she could see, although still not very clearly. She looked around her immediate surroundings. She appeared to be in someone’s front lawn, presumably somewhere in Norma’s immediate neighborhood, but Cat had no idea exactly where.
She held her hands up before her eyes, but couldn’t see them. Good, good, I’m still invisible, she thought. Maybe…maybe I can still make it back home in time before the potion wears off.
She blinked her eyes several times, and when she rubbed them, they felt sticky; there seemed to be some kind of residue remaining from the spray. She looked around her. In an opposite corner of the lawn, she saw a garden hose coiled up. Maybe I can wash the rest of this crap out of my eyes, she thought.
Painfully, she rose to her feet. She was cold, tired, and her entire body was wracked with aches and pains. She staggered over to the garden hose and turned on the faucet. The water gushed from the hose, and she lifted it to rinse her hands, face and eyes under its flow. The water was freezing! Nevertheless, Cat endured the cold and did her best to wash herself with it. She tried to wash some of the dried blood from her legs as well, before the cold temperature of the water finally got to be too much for her.
When she had finished, the stickiness surrounding her eyes seemed to be gone, and she was able to see better. Her eyes still hurt, but she could live with it, she decided. She rubbed her face and hands briskly, trying to dry them against the chill night air, and looked around her at the quiet residential street. She couldn’t even make a guess as to what time it was. Was it now Two O’clock? Three? She didn’t know. All she knew was that she didn’t have much time; she had to get home, and soon. The invisibility potion was due to start wearing off soon, and she had no more of her emergency stash with her.
On very sore, very unsteady feet, she began walking down the residential block in what she guessed was the direction of the nearest bus stop. It seemed that she had come this way when she had run blindly from Norma’s house, but she couldn’t be sure. She hoped she was going the right direction. If she could retrace her steps and go back the way she came, she’d be all right. The 99 bus line ran nearby, she knew, and it ran all night. Moreover, it stopped only about a block from her apartment. If she could catch it, it would be her best bet as far as getting back home was concerned. However, it only ran hourly. All Cat could do was hope she was heading in the right direction, and that the bus would arrive soon.
She rubbed her face and hands vigorously, trying to hasten their drying. She was freezing in the night air. Moreover, as she walked, shooting pains ran up and down her legs, and her feet were killing her; it felt as though she were walking on hot needles. I can’t take much more of this! she thought. But I’ve got no choice! I’ve got to get home, I’ve just got to!
She soon passed a familiar house with a familiar car in the driveway. It was Norma’s. A chill ran down Cat’s back, completely unconnected to the low ambient night temperature. She forced herself to look away, as though trying to force the unpleasant memory of the earlier night’s encounter from her mind. She continued walking and soon arrived at the bus stop; sure enough, the 99 did stop there after all. A smile played across her unseen features, and she briefly faced heavenward. Thank you, Goddess! she thought. Now, all I have to do is wait… She crouched down on a nearby lawn, stretching out and massaging her aching legs.
Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait for very long. She had only been sitting there for about ten minutes when the next bus pulled up to the stop to let off one passenger. Cat quickly slipped past the passenger, with her head ducked low to try and hide whatever visible sign of dampness might have remained on her face and hands, and climbed aboard the bus, just before the doors closed behind her. She made her way to the back of the bus, where she collapsed on the back seat. She felt faint from exhaustion, and struggled to stay awake. Moreover, she felt a distinctive, penetrating chill coming on, unrelated to the cold she had felt earlier. She recognized the sensation as a sign that her potion was due to start wearing off soon. Hold on, girl, she silently told herself, hugging herself with her invisible arms. Just a little while longer and then you’ll be home…just a little longer…just a little longer…
Cat’s eyelids grew heavy and she fought the oncoming drowsiness tooth and nail. As the bus ride continued, she began to nod off to sleep, repeatedly awakening with every bump in the road. She started to nod off once more when a sudden realization struck her, jolting her wide awake. Shit, where’s my stop? She wondered. Did I miss it? She looked out the windows at the darkened streets. She saw an illuminated street sign: Augustine Expressway, it read. The bus was just crossing the intersection with the Expressway, and Cat’s stop was just on the other side of it. She was still all right; she hadn’t missed her stop! Quickly, she reached up and yanked on the cord, ringing the bell.
The bus pulled over to the bus stop at the curb. When it came to a stop, Cat pushed open the back door and slipped through it, paying no attention to the bewildered look on the driver’s face as he watched the door open by itself. As she stepped out onto the curb, her legs were now quite stiff and cramped, and she almost stumbled to the ground. She managed to recover her balance however, and through fierce determination, managed to continue walking, despite her dwindling strength. You’re almost home, she told herself, urging herself on. You can do it… Just a little farther…keep going, you can make it… Her legs and feet were in agonizing pain, but she willed them to carry her forward. Her head was spinning with fatigue, and she felt as though she were about to pass out at any moment. Moreover the chilling sensation increased throughout her body. She knew that the invisibility potion was beginning to wear off. She held her hand up before her eyes. Against the light from a nearby street-lamp, she could just barely make out the faint outline of her hand reappearing. I don’t have much time! she thought in a panic. Just a few more houses… That’s all… Just a few houses down and around the corner and then I’ll be home free…
She staggered even more roughly the further she went, fatigue threatening to overpower her. I can’t make it, I can’t make it… she silently repeated to herself. I think I’m going to die…I’m going to die out here and no one will even know…no one will even care… NO! No, I won’t! I won’t die! I won’t give up! I won’t give them the satisfaction! Her mind made up, she tried to force her legs to carry her faster through sheer will-power alone, although they were rapidly failing her.
She almost passed out by the time she reached her own apartment building. She staggered over to the corner of the garden in front, fell to her knees and groped under the bushes, as though looking for something. Finally, she found what she was looking for: an artificial rock, the underside of which contained a slotted cavity, designed to hide a key. It did in fact hold a key: the key to Cat’s apartment. She pulled out the key, replaced the "rock," and painfully climbed the stairs to her apartment, almost on hands and knees. Hold on, she reassured herself. Just hold on…just a little farther…you can do it… She was grateful for the lateness of the hour; there was no one to see a key floating about in space by itself or a naked woman gradually appearing out of thin air. As she reached the top of the stairs, the outline of her hand became more distinct, and appeared more solid than it had moments earlier. Her other hand was now beginning to reappear as well, as were her legs. It’s a good thing I took so many doses today, she thought. It’s taking longer to wear off than it usually does…it’s giving me just enough extra time to make it…
She finally reached the top of the stairs, turned and somehow made it down the passageway to her apartment. She finally arrived at her front door, inserted the key into the lock and opened it, stepping inside and closing the door behind her just as her body began to fade into view. She switched on a light and saw that her hands now appeared quite solid, and bright-red locks of her hair nearly covered her eyes; she brushed them back with a grimy hand. She took a quick glance at the clock: 2:45 a.m. She had just made it in time.
Through waves of fatigue and drowsiness, she staggered into her bedroom, where she collapsed onto the bed, and pulled the blankets over herself.
Well, she thought. You made it!
She immediately fell into a deep, exhausted, dreamless sleep as the rest of her body faded back to full visibility.
* * *
The next morning, Norma called Greg on the phone, just as she promised she would. She filled him in on the previous night’s incident, telling him about how Cat had ambushed her right on her own front lawn, and about her own pepper-spray defense. Greg listened in stunned silence before responding.
"You used pepper spray on her?" he asked, incredulously.
"That’s right." Norma answered.
Greg fell silent. Pepper spray? He thought. Now why the hell didn’t I think of that?
Though she couldn’t see it, Norma could easily imagine the look of shock on Greg’s face. The silence that followed went on so long, however, that she almost wondered if the line had gotten disconnected. However, she heard Greg’s breathing on the other end, so she knew he must still be there.
Finally, he spoke again. "Are you sure you’re all right?" he asked.
"I’m fine, I’m fine," Norma answered. "I just got a little mark on my face, that’s all. It’s nothing, nothing to worry about." She absentmindedly stroked the welt that Cat had given her.
"My God," Greg whispered. "I knew this would happen, I knew it!" His voice faltered. "I knew it was a mistake to let you get mixed up in this. Now your life is in danger, just as mine is!"
"Greg, calm down," Norma said, trying to reassure him. "Just calm down, all right? I’m okay. I told you, I can take care of myself and I can. And I know there’s a risk. But for now, let’s just concentrate on thinking about what our next step will be. The first thing I’d like is for us to set up a meeting between the three of us, so we can discuss our options and start working on a plan."
"When?" Greg asked.
"Well, I was hoping now." she answered. "Today." She paused. "Well, I know, but I—" she stroked the welt again. "I really don’t think we can afford to waste any time, if you know what I mean. I think we should start working on a plan of action immediately. Besides, Nick had some good ideas and I think we should—"
"But where can we meet?" Greg asked, interrupting her. "I mean, she could be watching us at any time, and we’d never even know. She could be watching my place, she could be watching yours. And if she sees you guys coming over here or me going over there, who knows what she’ll think? I mean, if she even thinks we’re planning something behind her back, she’ll get suspicious. And who knows what she’ll do then?"
"I know, I know, you’re right…" Norma answered, thoughtfully. "We don’t want to arouse her suspicions; we want to catch her off-guard, whatever we ultimately decide to do…" She paused, thinking.
"Okay," she went on. "So how about we meet on neutral turf, like a public place somewhere? That way, if she sees any one of us there, she won’t suspect that anything’s up; she’ll just think—"
"No! Good God, no!" Greg interrupted. "A public place? That’s really not going to work! Remember what happened yesterday at the café? The whole time you and I were talking, she was sitting right there, listening to every word we said, remember?"
"I know, I know, but maybe we can…" Norma answered. "Wait a minute, I’ve got an idea! I know where we can meet! Someplace that, even if she knows we’re meeting there, she won’t be able to follow us in to eavesdrop."
"Where?" asked Greg, puzzled.
"Umm…well, let me get back to you on that," she said. "I need to make a phone call and set it up first. Okay? I’ll call you back. ‘Bye." She hung up.
"So where is this meeting place you’ve got in mind?" asked Nick, coming up behind her. "How far is it?"
"Oh, it’s local," Norma said, as she picked up the receiver again and started dialing. "Right here in the neighborhood, in fact! It—hello? Hello, Gino? Hi, this is Norma, Norma Stiles. Yeah, how you doin’? Great, great… Say, listen, I have a favor to ask of you. I want to meet with a friend of mine someplace, and we need a place that’s discrete, private, you know what I mean?" She paused. "No, no, it’s nothing like that!" she said. "We just need to talk, that’s all; talk privately." Another pause. "Well, of course Nick knows about it!" She rolled her eyes again. "He’s coming along! No, Gino," she said impatiently. "It’s nothing like that, okay? Jeez…" she sighed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah well, I was thinking of your place. No, no, in the back. That’s what I said: in the back. Gino, I’m serious! No, I’m not kidding! Gino, will you stop laughing? This is serious! Yeah, that’s right. Well, I was thinking right about now, is that okay? It is? Great! Thanks a bunch. See you soon. ‘Bye."
She hung up the phone, then picked it up and started dialing again. "It’s all set," she said to Nick. "We can go over right now. Let me just call Greg back and tell him."
"Where did you say we’re meeting?" Nick asked, eyebrows raised. "Gino’s?"
"That’s right," she said. "And you better bring a jacket. Hello? Hello, Greg? Okay, here’s the plan…"
* * *
It was approximately 12:30 in the afternoon when Cat finally woke up. She opened her eyes and looked around; they still stung from the night before and even without seeing them, she knew they must be all red and runny. She shifted slightly under the blankets and immediately her entire body stiffened. She was still wracked with pain from head to foot. Her feet were especially sore. She painfully raised one foot to examine it. The sole was blistered and torn from all the walking she had done the previous day and night, over everything from cement to asphalt to gravel to broken glass.
Moreover, every muscle in her body felt as though it had been pulled to the breaking point. Her joints were stiff from running around naked in the cold night air, and her head was pounding. Agonizingly, she forced herself to get up out of bed and into the bathroom, gingerly shuffling on very sore feet.
She switched on the light and recoiled in shock when she saw her reflection in the mirror. She almost didn’t recognize herself, she was a nightmare: her hair was all dirty and matted, her face was puffy and bloated, her eyes were red and swollen. Her fingernails were broken, split and bloody. Bruises, welts and numerous tiny cuts and scratches covered her entire body, primarily on her legs and arms. A particularly large bruise appeared on her upper arm, where Greg had so roughly grabbed her. As she looked at herself in the mirror and saw the mess she had become, she soon found herself reduced to tears.
My God, she thought. What has he done to me??
She stood there, shaking her head at her reflection, as though to deny the truth it revealed. Finally, she buried her face in her grimy hands and wept uncontrollably. My God, he’s killing me! she thought. He’s destroying me! I can’t take this anymore! I’ve got to stop this! I can’t let him do this to me!!
She wept and wept, as though to purge through her tears all the aches, pains and torments she had suffered the day and night before. Every fiber of her being trembled as the tears poured out in an emotional catharsis.
Finally, after an eternity, her sobs began to subside. She wiped away her tears with a grimy hand and she turned and stepped into the shower stall. She turned on the taps and stepped under the full blast of the soothing, warm jets of the showerhead. It felt wonderful, especially after the miseries she had experienced. She closed her eyes and let the massaging fingers of the water cascade over her body, washing away the aches and pains, along with the soil, from her sore, tender flesh. She stood motionless under the warm shower, before finally, as if through an act of tremendous will-power, she forced herself to move. She picked up the soap and a sponge and proceeded to bathe herself. She found that the simple act of washing seemed to have a tranquilizing effect on her, easing the intense emotional turmoil within her.
By the time she emerged from the shower some time later, she felt more calm, relaxed and rested than she had earlier. She walked out of the bathroom and over to her unmade bed, where she sat down and proceeded to dry and comb her hair. As she groomed herself, she began to ponder the chain of events of the past several months that had ultimately led to the ill-fated events of the night before. All the confusion, all the tortured emotions that had nearly destroyed her the day and night before were now gone. She was now able to think over the situation calmly, clearly and objectively.
She thought about the way things seemed to be turning out worse and worse between her and Greg, and how, no matter what she did, he still seemed to pull farther and farther away from her. She thought about all the time and effort she had spent in trying to hold on to him, all the little things she had done solely for his benefit, and all the sacrifices she had made for him, and how little she had received from him in return. In fact, not only did she not receive anything in return from him, she was, in fact, losing ground.
She had done so much for him, too, more than he could ever understand or appreciate. She had shed more tears over him and put herself through more agonies and emotional turmoil for him than for any other person in her entire life. But it made no difference; he continued to treat her badly, no matter what she did. She had tried everything, more than anyone should ever be expected to try. And yet, it seemed to be all for nothing. The more she tried to hold onto him, the more he seemed to pull away. It made no sense, but there it was. Why did he continue to pull away from her, when if he had any sense, he should see that, by doing so, he only harmed himself? Why couldn’t he understand that? And now, as if that weren’t enough, now her so-called friends were starting to interfere between her and Greg as well. Why? She wondered. Why…? I don’t understand it…I just don’t understand it at all…
Yet as Cat thought about it, the sorry truth gradually became clear to her. She began to realize, very reluctantly, that she was fighting a losing battle. Despite all her best efforts and her good intentions, things were simply not turning out the way they were supposed to. Some strange, inexplicable force seemed to be driving Greg farther and farther away from her, and there just wasn’t anything Cat could do to stop it. I give up, she thought at last. I just give up. I have nothing left to give, nothing left to offer him…
It was still all Greg’s fault, she knew, as she had known from the beginning. Although she and Greg had once enjoyed something wonderful and beautiful together, that just wasn’t good enough to suit Greg. No, he just couldn’t let it alone; he had to go and spoil it. But now Cat began to consider one possible explanation for Greg’s inexplicable behavior, as well as the sad chain of events that followed, something she hadn’t considered before.
Perhaps…perhaps Greg was just plain unlucky. And his bad luck was now rubbing off on her. That made sense, she had to admit; it made perfect sense. For so long now, Greg had been sending out so much negative energy, so much bad karma; it shouldn’t be surprising that it would all come back to him, eventually. And since she was the one closest to him, it shouldn’t be surprising that she would begin to catch some of the bad karma as well. Yes, she finally decided; that had to be the explanation.
Cat thought about what the long-term effects of such bad luck might be on herself, and she considered her options, including one which she had been unconsciously resisting for several months.
Perhaps…perhaps it was time to let go, she thought. Just let go of Greg, once and for all.
Well, okay, Fine! she thought, as her tears began to flow again. If he can’t appreciate a good woman, if he doesn’t know a good thing when he’s got it, then fine! To hell with him! He’s just not worth it! If he wants to be away from me, then let him! If he wants to play around with his new little friends, then let him! They can enjoy a nice little threesome together, and they can all rot in hell together too, as far as I’m concerned!
Anger and sorrow vied for supremacy over Cat’s mind, and she alternately cried and clutched at the bedsheets, twisting and wringing them with her hands. I’ve tried my best! she thought. Goddess knows I’ve tried. I’ve tried harder to make it work than anyone should ever have to in a thousand lifetimes! But no more! Enough is enough! I’m not going to take this anymore! Not from him, not from anyone! I’ve had it with him, he’s out of my life from this moment forward! And good riddance! Good riddance to bad garbage!
She had to get away from Greg, she realized. She just had to. She just couldn’t take his negativity anymore. It was that negativity that had poisoned their relationship right from the start, and Cat now realized that if she were to continue seeing him, sooner or later, all that negativity would ultimately destroy her. However much she may still love and want Greg, none of that mattered now; her own physical and emotional well-being were much more important. Certainly more important than any man, she now realized.
Besides, Greg had never really understood or appreciated her anyway, she thought. He could never learn to appreciate all her strengths, all the wonderful special qualities that had made her so unique… No, all he ever thought about was himself, his own selfish interests. He had never learned to appreciate the good qualities in other people, least of all her, for some strange reason.
And so, Cat finally decided, reluctantly…that it was time to let go, after all. Just let go. Let go of Greg before he destroyed her. It would be a painful sacrifice for her to make, of course, to let go of the one person she really, truly loved above all others. It would be painful and difficult, but it had to be done. Her own physical and emotional well-being were at stake
But difficult or easy, she knew that she would come through it all right. She would come through it somehow; she would survive. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had defeated her. She smiled weakly, and hugged herself with her arms. Yes, she thought. You are a survivor. You’ve survived this and you’ll survive more. You’ve been through hell, and you’ve come through okay. She gently rubbed her arms, massaging them, and she began to feel much better about herself.
And, even though the previous day’s events still infuriated her to think about them, she tried to put them out of her mind, as a kind of bad dream. Maybe… she thought, maybe in time…I might even be able to forgive him…Yes, forgive him, for all the terrible things he and his friends have done to me…I am a better person than they are, after all… The better person should be strong enough to forgive…forgive even the cruelest of wrongs…Yes, I can be kind and forgiving…it’s just part of my nature…
But despite her willingness to forgive, Cat also knew she had to remain firm in her decision to leave Greg and not weaken, no matter what.
Greg, she thought, as one final tear rolled down her cheek. Love of my life…you are now out of my life…now and forever. She wiped away the tear.
And besides, she consoled herself. I really don’t need him anyway…I have so many other things going for me… I don’t need him, I don’t need any man…I have my potion…and there are so many other things I can do with it…things besides using it for his benefit… And I have my store, my own thriving little business…
THE STORE!!! Oh, my god!! Cat suddenly jolted alert. She had forgotten all about the store! She had been so busy the last several days, following Greg around, trying to keep him out of trouble, that she had completely neglected the store! The place must be a disaster area by now, she thought. I’d better call in and check up on those two clowns and see how they’re doing… She reached over to the telephone on the nightstand, picked up the receiver and started dialing. As she waited for the phone at the other end to ring, she began to massage her sore neck and thigh muscles
Ohhhh, this is no good! she thought. I can’t come in to work today in any case…I’d better take a few days off to rest and recover first…
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