Adventures in Babysitting

by Xcraft

Disclaimer: The usual.
This hasn't been beta'd or even re-read so I hope there are no major mistakes. Please pardon any spelling mystaykes. :-)

Basement of the Hoover Building
Friday morning

Agent Fox Mulder sat in the dark basement room of the FBI building for the 5th day of his week long punishment assignment. He had the ultimately boring task of reviewing the huge stack of backlogged surveillance tapes. This assignment of course given to him by AD Skinner for a major no-no that the two kept between themselves so Mulder's record wouldn't be further tarnished.

Mulder removed his glasses and stretched, arching his back and shoulders till the stress relieving 'crack' was heard. "Ahhhh! God! I hate this!!!" He felt free to talk loudly since nobody *ever* came down here. He sat back and observed the measly pile of tapes he'd gone through hoping they would satisfy Skinner. "Yes sir, Mr. Commando, Sir!" He saluted the tapes. "Hope these meet your quota!" He ended with the traditional one finger salute. "Well, I guess this is better than the other option." That damned paddle Mulder leaned back in his chair, I thought I'd get that for sure he let out a sigh. Within the last year Skinner had decided a more personal form of discipline was needed and even though his boss said the opposite, Mulder secretly believed Skinner looked forward to paddling his butt. Mulder, of course, did not.

The knock on the door almost caused Mulder to fall out of his chair, but he recovered just in time.

"Mulder?" Scully looked into the dark room.

"Yea?"

"Skinner wants you in his office. Why don't you have a light on, you'll ruin your eyes."

"Thanks for the tip *Mom*. What does he want? Did he say?"

Scully was still giving him the *Look* for the first comment and then just shrugged as an answer to the second.

"Great!" Mulder hoped he didn't change his mind and want to use the paddle after all.

"I'm leaving for the weekend to visit my mom. In fact I'm on my way out now." Scully spoke as she walked to the elevator with Mulder.

"You mean your not going to see Skinner with me?" The concerned look on his face causing Scully to smile. "I mean... you know what I mean."

"Mulder, you'll be fine." she rubbed his arm. "Don't be such a baby. Your an agent in the FBI, in case you forgot. Not a misbehaved school boy." She straightened his tie, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and left at the garage level.

With a shaky finger, Mulder pressed the button for the AD's floor.

Skinner's office

"Come in Agent Mulder, have a seat." Skinner spoke from his desk not bothering to look up.

Mulder quickly crossed the floor and took his usual seat. Calm down Mulder, you don't even know why you're here.

After a few moments Skinner began. "So Agent Mulder, how's the tape surveillance coming?"

"Fine, Sir."

"Have you gone through them all?"

"Well, not *all*, Sir."

"Oh well, it doesn't matter, I've got something else for you to do."

Doesn't matter... doesn't matter! "What is it, Sir?" What does he mean it doesn't matter, after five days of that... that...

"...and you need to go there now." Skinner's voice came through Mulder's thoughts and he realized he hadn't heard the first part. "Did you hear me Agent Mulder?"

"Uhm, sorry sir... could you go over it again. It's this... headache I've got. I'm sorry, I didn't hear everything you said."

Skinner exhaled loudly and started over. "I said, Mulder, I have a case involving personal threats to a well known person staying at the Hilton downtown and you need to go there now."

"What kind of threats and to whom?"

"There's a movie company making a film here in town and the two lead actors have gotten some threats and I need someone to be there and watch them while they are in town."

"You mean you want me to *babysit*?!" His face did not hide what he thought of this job.

"Agent Mulder! I'm not asking, I'm telling you. Now, it's either this or back to the basement along with a session with the *object* that's in my desk drawer. Is *that* what you want?!"

Mulder swallowed hard. "No Sir! I'll take the assignment. Thank you, Sir!"

"Good! Here's the file. Now, get over there immediately."

Mulder took the file and quickly left the office. As he went to his car he quickly glanced through the information. He stopped dead in his tracks as he read the names contained in the file. "SHIT!" He jogged the rest of the way to his car and was soon on the road headed to the Hilton. "Oh my God." a grin played at his lips, "Sean Connery!" He had to admit, he was a little excited. "I'm assigned to watch fucking James Bond! Christ!" He'd seen all the Bond movies growing up and they were a tiny part of why he was in the FBI. Bond always was cool and got the girls, so naturally that appealed to the young Fox. Of course, 'Mulder. Fox, Mulder' didn't have the same flow, but so what, he still had a badge to flash and that was cool. He wasn't sure who the other actor was, Ewan something.

The Hilton Hotel
Washington, DC

As he made his way through the lobby and up the elevator, Mulder didn't notice any increase in security. He made a note to call in a few more guards. Mulder knocked on the door of the Executive Suite. He was greeted by an average looking guy in a sports coat. "Agent Mulder?" the man asked as he extended his hand.

"Yes."

"I'm Bob Porter, security for the hotel. Come in please."

Mulder shook the hand and was lead into the room all the time willing himself to act professional and not get star-struck. In the large main sitting area of the lush suite Mulder was introduced to a young man.

"Agent Mulder, this is Ewan McGregor."

"Nice to meet you." the young man said with a thick Scottish accent and a endearing smile.

"And this is Mr. Sean Connery." Mulder turned and extended his hand as a smile spread across his face against his will.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Connery."

Sean grinned at the young agent and patiently waited for his hand to be released.

"Oh, sorry." Mulder flushed as he realized how long the handshake was going on.

"Quite all right lad. Shall we?" Sean draped his arm across Mulder's shoulder, turning him and they headed for the chairs where the other two men were waiting.

They all sat around a coffee table and Mulder flipped through the file he held in his lap. "So when did the threats begin?"

"The first one came in two days ago."

"Why did you wait two days to call?" Mulder started taking notes.

"Hotel security was called in immediately. This morning we received a second threat. This one against Sean personally. I decided to call Walter and get some unofficial help..."

"Wait!" Mulder held up his hand. "You know Wal... I mean, Assistant Director Skinner?"

"Oh yea!" Porter went on. "I've known him forever. We met in the marines. In fact I saw him just last month. He recommended you highly, Agent Mulder."

"He did? I mean, of course he did." Mulder snorted and shrugged like that was a fact *everyone* should know. Of course this added a whole new layer to the case. He was sure Skinner was up to something, he just didn't know what, yet.

"Anyway," Porter continued. "With your solve rate I'm sure we'll get whoever is behind this in no time."

"I hope we do." Sean's imposing voice brought Mulder's immediate attention. "I didn't come here to be threatened. We only have a week to finish shooting and we don't need these kind of delays."

"Sean, your such a worry-wart." Ewan said jokingly. "Now that Agent Mulder is here I'm sure you'll be fine." He was sprawled across the couch, very relaxed and seemed to be enjoying Sean's discomfort.

"You, young man, need to take things a little more seriously." Sean pointed a finger at Ewan as he spoke and there was a definite tension in the air that Mulder didn't miss.

"Well, I suggest we all stay in this one suite." Mulder cut into the conversation. "There are two rooms, one for each of you and I'll take the couch."

"Great. Just great." Sean rose and move to the mini bar to make a drink. Mulder had to bite his lip, he so wanted to use the 'stirred, not shaken' line, but he resisted. He did notice the glare Sean gave the young man on the couch as it was very familiar. he got that same glare from Skinner many times. He also noticed that Ewan was finding great pleasure in all this and decided to talk to him.

"So, Mr. McGregor. You don't mind if I call you Ewan?"

"No, go right ahead." Ewan sat up leaving room for Mulder to sit next to him on the couch. "I don't really know anythin' tho."

"Have you received any personal threats?"

"No. I haven't, but I think old Seany boy is takin' this all too seriously." Ewan looked over his shoulder at Sean only to receive another glare.

"And you don't take anything seriously, do ya' boy." Sean snapped back as he plopped an olive into his drink.

Yep, definitely a martini Mulder thought to himself.

Ewan jumped up and grabbed his jacket off a nearby chair. "Well, I'm outta' here fellas. I got some things to do."

"Whoa, hold on there." Mulder put his hands out and blocked the path to the door. "I don't think any of us should go anywhere till we get more facts on this."

"Ewan, just sit back down and let Agent Mulder do what he has to do." Sean blocked Ewan's path as well, a much more imposing obstacle.

"No! I'm not staying in here all night. No! Forget it!"

"Ewan! Stop being such a...."

"What! Brat! Is that what you were going to say *Mr. Connery*!"

"Well, if the shoe fits, boy."

Ewan started for the door only to be stopped as Sean's hand clamped down on his arm. "Ewan, be reasonable."

"Let go of me!" He yanked his arm away, but didn't manage to break free. "What are you going to do about it anyway!"

"I know what I oughta' do." Sean said half under his breath.

Mulder stepped in and separated the steaming Scots. "Hold it guys, let's be civil here." Sean released Ewan and within seconds the young man was out the door. "Great! This makes my job SO much easier."

After everyone settled down Mulder called the Lone Gunmen. He wanted to call Scully, but she was out-of-town,boy, is she going to be pissed when she finds out what she missed. The Gunmen proved to be most helpful and told Mulder they'd call back later and for him to get an autograph. "Yea right guys, I'm working." He hung up the phone and began his own investigation.

The Next Morning
Hilton Hotel

The door to Ewan's suite was still closed, but Mulder heard him come in around two o'clock in the morning. Mr. Connery and Bob Porter left around six am for the set. It was now seven am and as Mulder excited the bathroom he noticed a note had been shoved under the door. He pulled a rubber glove out of his pocket, (no good agent was ever without rubber gloves) put it on and read the note. He was not surprised to find this one threatened the younger actor, Ewan. Mulder had come to some conclusions over night and this only confirmed them. Crossing to the closed bedroom door he knocked loudly then entered without waiting for a response. Ewan was asleep on the bed. Mulder began rummaging through the room and not quietly. The sound woke the young actor just as Mulder emptied the contents of his wastebasket on the bed.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Ewan's voice cracked.

"I should say, what the hell are you* doing!"

Scraps and bits of newspaper and magazines flew everywhere. Ewan scrambled to collect the damaging evidence.

"I knew it." Mulder said accusingly.

"Please," the young man pleaded. "Don't tell anyone!"

"What! You must be crazy. What were you thinking of?" Mulder questioned the distraught young man.

"I don't know, it sounded good when my buddies and I were joking about it. We thought the publicity would add to the movie, you know." Ewan rested his head in his hands and rocked back and forth. "This is getting way out of hand, you've got to help me Agent Mulder. Please!"

Mulder stood there with his hands on his hips thinking through the situation.

"Please, Mulder. Nobody else knows about this yet. Just the four of us."

Mulder let out a long sigh. He knew he was probably doing the wrong thing, but he liked the guy. At least this time Mulder you'll be the one covering up the clues not the other way around. "Okay."

"YES!" Ewan jumped out of the bed and hugged Mulder. "You're the best! What do we do?"

"First, get rid of all this paper. Flush it. I can't believe you left this in the room."

The two cohorts cleaned up, burned and flushed every scrap of paper, including the new note. After a thorough examination of the rest of the suite they were positive that no additional evidence was present. It was nearly noon when Sean and Bob returned to the suite. They were in a heated discussion as they entered catching the attention of Mulder and Ewan.

"That's final Bob! I'm going back to Scotland! Screw the movie!"

"What's the matter?" Ewan asked cautiously.

"I got another fucking note! That's what's the matter!" Sean yelled back.

"YOU DID!" Mulder and Ewan said at the same time as they both stood up.

"Sean, you can't leave now! What about the movie?" Ewan paced back and forth. "This is getting way out of hand." he mumbled.

"Shut up!" Mulder hissed at him.

Sean strode into his room and threw his suitcase on the bed and began stuffing clothes into it. Ewan walked back and forth between the bedroom door and Mulder.

"Do something Mulder! Tell him everything's ok!"

This had gotten rapidly out of control and Mulder was torn between telling the truth or maintaining the lie. Amongst the sudden chaos in the room there was a loud , insistent knock at the door. Porter opened the door and in walked Skinner.

"QUIET!" he barked, the effect was instant. Both Ewan and Mulder turned to face Skinner as his eyes shot daggers at them. Bob brought Sean into the main room as Skinner paced back and forth in front of the two young men. He stopped and stared at them. At a lack for words he held up his right hand, in it a video tape.

He loaded it into the VCR, turned on the TV and hit play. There on the screen was Fox and Ewan cleaning up the papers that were spilled from the trash can. They burned them and what appeared to be a note.

Mulder felt all the color drain from his face and his stomach was in his throat. He glanced at Ewan, who was having the same reaction.

Stopping the tape, Skinner moved to stand directly in front of Mulder, put his hands on his hips and said in a low, menacing voice, "Do you care to explain this to me Agent Mulder!"

Mulder kept his head lowered. he tried to answer, but no words came. He could feel his knees weakening and just managed to shake his head.

"What about you ,Young man!" Skinner tuned his attention to Ewan.

Ewan's eyes shot up to meet Skinner's then he quickly looked away. "I... I... he... I mean.... we. It was HIS idea!" He pointed a finger at Mulder.

"What!" Mulder turned. "MY IDEA! MY IDEA!"

"SEE!"

"It wasn't MY idea you little..."

"SHUT! UP!" Sean bellowed from behind the arguing pair.

"Great! Now we're surrounded." Mulder said sarcastically at Ewan.

Bob Porter stepped into the conversation. "I had a suspicion of what was gong on." He said fixing Ewan with a glare. "So I called Walt to see what he thought and he suggested having Mulder come over."

"You were trying to *trick* me!" Mulder asked incredulously.

"Trick You? No Agent Mulder, not trick you. You weren't supposed to *help* cover things up." Skinner shook his head. "I really expected more of you Mulder."

"Yes, Sir." Mulder's shoulder's sagged and he hung his head. "I'm sorry Sir."

"Well, I imagine you know what is going to happen now, don't you young man?"

Mulder looked up, his eyes pleading. "Sir! Please. Not now." he whispered as he cast a quick glance in Sean's direction.

"Oh, I'm sure no one in this room will object." Skinner said as he slipped his belt through the loops. "Do you?"

Both Sean and Bob shook their heads 'no' a big grin on their faces. Ewan just stared at the AD, his jaw hanging open. Skinner took Mulder by the arm and led him to the closest bedroom. He didn't bother to close the door as he told Mulder to lose the jacket, shoes and pants. Mulder meekly began to undress hoping his compliance would make the AD go easier on him.

Skinner sat on the bed and patted his thigh. With a defeated sigh, Mulder slowly lowered himself into the awkward position. The three men outside couldn't see what was going on because of the angle, but they could hear it all.

Once Skinner had Mulder positioned were he wanted him he lowered his boxers to his knees and rested the folded belt across the yet unmarked backside.

"What is this punishment for, Agent Mulder." Skinner loved saying that.

"For destroying evidence, Sir."

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

Skinner brought the belt down in the exact same spot all four times.

"Ahhhhhhhh! Sir!" Mulder couldn't stop the words and that's just what Skinner wanted. He knew Mulder didn't want the other men to hear him cry out so he got that little bit of nonsense out of the way fast.

"And what else?" He punctuated each word with a stroke of the belt.

The sound of the leather striking skin mesmerized the other three men for a minute until it sparked and idea that had been in the back of Sean's mind for a long time. He pulled his belt out of the loops, folded it in half then SNAP he popped the leather against itself causing the other two men to turn. Bob had nothing to worry about for Sean's glare was fixed on Ewan.

Ewan took a step back and instantly Sean's large hand clamped around his arm.

"What are you doing! Let me go!" Ewan sounded frantic.

"Oh no, young man. You've been asking for this for a long time and I've been dying to give it to you." He began dragging the younger man to the other bedroom, Ewan fighting him, but somehow not able to get away. He had sorely misjudged the strength the man who now succeeded to not only drag him into the bedroom, but also managed to push him face down across the high bed.

"I'm not going to tell you again! Let me go!"

"I don't think so boy!" Sean reached under the squirming young man and deftly unfastened his belt and jeans, an act that somewhat surprised Ewan. "I know you're not shy about showing off that backside of yours, boy." And with that he pulled both jeans and boxers down in one smooth move. Ewan wrestled to hasten their decent, but he lost the battle.

"NO! DON'T!" He felt a strong hand press against his lower back, pinning him to the mattress. "Noooooooo!"

The belt came down hard and fast across the center of the round bottom. Over and over, till the squirming cheeks were a dark pink. "Stop it you... you... STOP!" Ewan was struggling to keep his voice, he wasn't about to cry. "Sean.... Mr. Connery! Stop, please!"

Sean threw the belt down. He pulled the young man up and sat on the bed, flinging Ewan over his knee. He resumed the spanking, only this time bringing his large strong hand down directly on the rosey behind. He was having way too much fun and he knew this would surely do the boy some good.

Meanwhile, Bob Porter stood between the two rooms listening as the swats were sometimes in unison then not. He noted that Mulder was crying more, but somehow knew that Sean was probably enjoying himself much more than Walter. Both spankings continued on for a good fifteen minutes and near the end both of the young men were promising loudly to be good. He sat down and just listened. Yes, it was a nice sound and he hoped he'd remembered to start a new tape in the surveillance cameras that were hidden in both rooms.