Blades, Riddles and Sand
Fandom: Phantom Menace
Category: Discipline
Archive: Persuaders
Feedback: Yes please
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters belong to
George Lucas.
Summary: During a mission, Obi-Wan manages to test
Qui-Gon's patience once too often.
"I told you I had a bad feeling about this," Obi-Wan
puffed out between swings as two axe-wielding guardian
droids tested his defences.
"It won't be the last bad thing you feel today if you
don't stop bringing it up," Qui-Gon shot back as he
removed the legs from another droid with a low,
spinning heel cut. He was starting to wonder if they
were droids at all. The heavily armoured figures
looked more like something out of an archaic fairy
tale than machines. Each one resembled a knight of
varying details and their weapons - axes, broadswords
and maces - looked like props from a play back on
Coruscant. The fact that they were capable of blocking
a direct lightsaber blow shattered that analogy, he
thought wryly.
A quick Force-push sent Qui-Gon's remaining opponent
crashing into a wall and he stepped forward for a
quick follow through, cutting the helm covered head
from its body as it rebounded off balance from the
impact. As it crumpled to the floor, Qui-Gon got a
confirming look inside both the helm and the body of
the armour. Both were empty, no life or machinery
within.
Quickly he turned to help his Padawan but Obi-Wan had
the matter in hand. With a swift side kick to the
chest he sent the empty knight he was fighting
staggering backwards. Before it could recover he
severed its weapon hand at the wrist, then continued
with the swing using the momentum to perform a high
spinning heel cut that sent the armoured head flying
from its shoulders. For all his lack of years, the
sixteen-year-old was an extremely competent swordsman.
The Jedi Master crouched down and examined one of the
collapsed figures, frowning when he found it entirely
empty. It was almost enough to make you believe in
ghost stories. Obi-Wan crouched next to him,
unconsciously mimicking the frown as he looked at the
empty armour.
They'd been sent to investigate reports of a new
religion that had started to take hold on several of
the outer rim colonies. This was the first temple, or
Sanctuary as it was called, that had appeared deeper
into the Republic. They had been slowly spreading
their faith along with accounts of magic and miracles
performed. The questioning of people with firsthand
accounts by Jedi operatives had produced accounts of
"Techno mages", with unusual abilities that they
claimed came from an all-surrounding power. This in
itself had made the Jedi curious, but later accounts
of the Techno mages claiming to be the only people
able to tap into the "true" Force made them a
potential threat to the authority of the Jedi as
peacekeepers within the Republic.
Well, they definitely weren't fakes, thought Qui-Gon.
He'd hoped they might be just another con operation,
using technology to fake miracles and bring in the
gullible believers, willing to donate to the "faith".
Finishing his examination, Qui-Gon stood up and
turned, only to come face to faceplate with another
armoured knight. Stepping back with Force-enhanced
speed, he ignited his lightsaber. It wasn't until he
had backed away that he noticed the knight was wearing
Jedi robes. Obi-Wan flipped up the visor of the
decapitated helm on his head and grinned at his
Master.
"Isn't it cool, do you think I could keep it?"
Qui-Gon powered down his lightsaber, then gently
removed the helm from his apprentice's head. Closing
his eyes, he took a deep breath and found his focus.
Opening them again, he was confronted with a still
grinning apprentice.
Suppressing the urge to bounce the helmet off the
Padawan's head, Qui-Gon cast it aside and turn around
to the corridor heading deeper into the sanctuary.
The structure above ground had been a relatively
standard example of Republic architecture, but the
underground passage they were in now was a bizarre
mixture of old and new. The walls and floor were made
from what appeared to be marble blocks. Antique wooden
furniture was scattered around in the form of small
tables and shelves, while the walls were decorated in
silk tapestries of bizarre scene that looked like
darker versions of a child's picture books. Dragons,
armoured knights, castles and of course wizards were
in abundance. The lighting was out of place though, in
the form of glow panels running along the roof.
The two Jedi moved through the passageways cautiously
but with speed. Their presence had definitely been
noted by now and the time for stealth had passed. The
longer they waited the more time the enemy had to
prepare. They'd been attacked almost as soon as they
entered the underground complex and been identified as
Jedi. First by standard blaster wielding droids, of
the type sold by the Trade Federation, and then by the
strange armoured knights who had proven to be more
challenging with their direct close combat approach.
The corridor ended at the entrance to the first room
the Jedi had encountered since they went underground.
A large, ornately carved arch led into a well lit, but
empty room 25 feet wide and 40 feet long. At the other
end was another door leading to another stretch of
corridor. The floor of the room was it's only real
feature - an alternating pattern of black and white
squares
Qui-Gon stopped at the threshold to the room as his
Force-enhanced intuition kicked in. Without looking,
he reaching out sideways to haul Obi-Wan back by the
collar before he walked straight inside. There was
something strange here, he thought, doing his best to
ignore the exaggerated choking noises coming from one
side. He looked closer at the black and white marble
checker floor of the room. Pulling a small trade disc
from his pocket, he tossed it into the room. As soon
as it hit the floor, foot long molecular blades
snapped out from between the tiles then just as
rapidly slipped back out of sight.
Obi-Wan looked at the room in amazement.
"Hey, cool. Do you think we could get one of those for
the Temple?" he enquired with a grin, tossing his own
trade disc into the room. Qui Gon ignored him and
looked back down the corridor then across the room.
"I think we could probably clear the room with a
running jump. This was designed to stop more regular
trespassers," Qui-Gon said, looking the room over one
last time. "Those molecular blades are no joke though.
They're thin enough and sharp enough to cut organic
matter at the cellular level."
With that he started to back up down the corridor so
he could get a good run up.
"Just stand to the side and wait until I've made the
jump. I'll be able to work out whether it's within
your current abilities after I've done it."
With that said, he Force-sprinted down the corridor
and leaped from the door frame, hurtling across the
room into a dive roll, just inside the doorway on the
other side. It had been a near thing. Unfortunately,
the jump would probably too risky for his Padawan to
attempt with his present level of control over
Force-driven actions. As he climbed to his feet he
felt a sudden surge in the Force, a sensation of
excitement over the training bond and a heavy impact
as something slammed into him from behind, knocking
him back off his feet. Rolling over he found himself
entangled with Obi-Wan who was grinning, looking like
a dog who'd just learnt a new trick.
"I figured I'd just save some time by jumping right
after you," he said in that particularly cheery voice
that irritated Qui-Gon so much. Suppressing his
annoyance, Qui-Gon rose to his feet and pointed at his
apprentice, his expression grim.
"That was a direct act of disobedience in regards to a
clearly stated order from your Master." The grin
started to fade from Obi-Wan's face, and Qui Gon shook
his head. "Now is not the time, but I think I'm going
to have to deal with this rebellious streak of yours
which has turned up of late." Obi-Wan opened his mouth
to protest but Qui-Gon widened his eyes slightly,
cutting him off. "We'll deal with the situation at
hand, then we'll deal with you. Let's go." With that
Qui-Gon spun on his heel and strode down the corridor
with a sulky looking apprentice slouching behind him.
They soon reached a second room, which was utterly
different to the last one. It was circular, blue
metallic walled with a domed ceiling. No other doors
could be seen and the only feature of the room was a
glowing orb of shifting light that floated in the air,
seven feet above the room's center. Qui-Gon looked at
the room from the doorway for a second before tossing
a trade disc inside. It bounced across the floor
without effect, spinning to a halt several metres in.
"Looks clear," said Obi-Wan in a muted voice. Qui-Gon
shook his head and unclipped his lightsaber from his
belt.
"Different room, different obstacles, Padawan."
With lightsaber ignited, the Jedi entered the room,
his attention focused on the ball of light. Obi-Wan
followed suit, glancing around for any sign of trouble
from another angle. They walked towards the sphere and
came to a halt several feet away from it. It seemed
almost liquid close up; a large drop of luminous,
flowing blue and green light.
"So what now?" Obi-Wan asked. Suddenly the sphere's
colours locked in place, it started to pulse and a
deep voice filled the air.
"Fleet of foot to get this far, answer my riddle and
the way will unbar: The wise and knowledgeable man is
sure of it. Even the fool knows it. The rich man
wants it. The greatest of heroes fears it. Yet the
lowliest of cowards would die for it. What am I
speaking of?"
"Er...OK," said Obi-Wan, looking at Qui-Gon in
amusement. Qui-Gon looked thoughtfully at the globe,
apparently trying to solve the riddle. Obi-Wan decided
to try an answer. "The answer is money."
"Incorrect answer."
"Fame."
"Incorrect answer."
"Space."
"Incorrect answer."
"Sleep."
"Incorrect answer."
"Music."
"Incorrect answer."
"Er...Slippers."
"Incorrect answer."
Qui-Gon frowned and looked down at Obi-Wan.
"Padawan..."
"Bananas," said Obi-Wan, forging on.
"Incorrect answer."
"Padawan," Qui-Gon said again, slightly louder this
time.
"Master Yoda's bathers."
"Incorrect answer."
"Padawan!" Qui-Gon shouted, clamping a hand on his
shoulder.
"What?" said Obi-Wan, looking around innocently. "I
think I was making progress there."
Qui-Gon took a cleansing breath and, after a long
moment, spoke in a calm voice. "Do not say another
word. I need to think this through. That's a direct
order from your Master."
Qui-Gon racked his brain while Obi-Wan loitered
nearby, pouting and trying to draw attention to
himself. After several minutes, Qui-Gon was no closer
to an answer, and he glanced over at Obi-Wan. The boy
had stopped pouting. In fact, he had a positively smug
grin on his face. Qui-Gon looked away, then looked
back.
The smug look was still there.
Qui-Gon sighed and silently prayed to the Force for
strength, then turned to his apprentice. "You know the
answer, don't you?"
Obi-Wan looked around causally and started to hum to
himself.
"Well, get on with it then," Qui-Gon said shortly.
"Oh, so I can talk again now?" Obi-Wan asked with an
innocent look. Qui-Gon frowned again and Obi-Wan
decided not to push things. It was a three-frown day
now and that usually didn't bode too well for
Padawans. Turning to the sphere, he uttered his new
response.
"The answer is nothing."
"Correct answer," the sphere said. The colours started
to swirl randomly again and a hidden panel in the wall
slid silently upwards revealing another passage.
Obi-Wan turned to Qui-Gon with a triumphant smile, but
the tall man just nodded and walked towards the door
without saying a word. Obi-Wan stood there a moment
longer still waiting for praise before he realized
there wouldn't be any.
"That's gratitude for you," he muttered then headed
off after his Master, pouting once again.
Not surprisingly, they found themselves at the
entrance to another unique room.
It was triangular in shape; the walls made of what
looked like sandstone. The floor was covered with a
fine grey sand that looked to be at least knee deep.
The rest of the room was empty apart from a wooden
pedestal at the far end. An ornate hour glass sitting
in a rotating frame rested on it's surface.
Qui-Gon flipped his last trade disc it the room and
watched it land on the sand unmolested. With a shrug
the Jedi stepped inside with his lightsaber ready,
grimacing as he sank into the sand nearly up to his
knees. Obi-Wan followed and swore when the sand
reached over his knees and started to fill his boots.
A soft click sounded behind him and he turned to see a
blank wall.
"Ah...Master," he said quietly.
"Hmmm," replied Qui-Gon focused on the pedestal fifty
odd feet away.
"The door's gone."
"What the Sith?" Qui-Gon cursed, turning to look at
the blank stone wall. "What did you do to it?" he
demanded, patting the wall where the door had been.
"I didn't do anything to it," Obi-Wan replied
indignantly. "What do you think I did? Pulled it off
the wall and stuffed it up my robes?"
"Watch your mouth, Padawan," Qui-Gon snapped without
turning around. "You're in more than enough trouble
already."
"Ah, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said, the change in his voice
noticeable. "We've got a problem."
The Jedi Master turned around to confront a
frightening scene. Figures were rising up out of the
sand.
No, he thought quickly, not rising out of the sand,
they were *made* of the sand. The sand was streaming
upwards, flowing together and solidifying into
concrete shapes. Mere moments later, eight featureless
humanoid figures stepped forward.
They were all identical except for their hands. One
had large claws almost a foot long, which flexed and
curled as it walked forward. Another had huge, heavy
clubs not unlike hammerheads attached to the end of
it's wrists. Yet another had arms that ended in long
whip-like tendrils that undulated like snakes,
scenting the air. All were different...and all could
kill.
Obi-Wan's lightsaber came to life and Qui-Gon stepped
down beside him. Both Jedi watched the sand creatures
approach, then with speed born of the Force, launched
themselves forward into the attack.
Obi-Wan flipped over three of the sand figures and
came down lightsaber first into a fourth. The energy
blade cut through it from head to crotch and it
exploded into a cloud of sand. Hampered by the deep
sand, Obi-Wan spun as fast as he could and managed to
cut a second creature in half at the waist, showering
himself in a second cloud of sand. A third creature
swung at him with arms that ended in scythe blades. If
he hadn't been up to his knees in sand he would have
dodged easily; as it was he had to throw himself
backwards to avoid being cut in half. The tip of one
of the blades caught his shoulder as he dove back,
drawing blood. The young warrior rolled to his feet,
wincing at the cut. The blades might be made of sand,
but they cut like steel.
Slowly circling around him, two of the creatures tried
to attack him from both sides. Darting forward,
Obi-Wan launched himself into the air hammering both
feet into the chest of one of the creatures. Hitting
the ground in a roll, he came up on one knee, driving
the shimmering blade through the downed sand
creature's midsection. Without turning he lashed out
backwards over his shoulder, impaling the second
creature just as it poised to strike. Slowly rising
to his feet, he looked over towards Qui-Gon. His
Master had just finished off the last of their
opponents. Checking the cut on his shoulder, he was
relieved to see it was shallow and already clogged up
with sand; no longer bleeding.
Qui-Gon worked his way over to him through the sand
with a look of concern, ignoring two minor cuts of his
own as he focused on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "How bad is
it?" he asked as he reached the younger Jedi's side.
"It's fine, Master, only a flesh wound," Obi-Wan
replied with a reassuring smile.
Qui-Gon nodded, relieved, but a moment later the
expression on his face had changed from concern to
disapproval. "That was foolish of you, Padawan. What
have I told you about separating yourself from me
during combat? If something had happened I wouldn't
have been able to reach you in time." With a final
shake of his head the Jedi headed off through the sand
towards the end of the room. Obi-Wan stood still with
his mouth wide open for a few seconds before rushing
to catch up.
By the time they got half way across the room, Obi-Wan
could see that the hour glass was actually working.
The last grains of sand emptied from the top as he
watched. Slowly the hour glass started to swivel on
it's stand until the full half of sand was on top,
counting down again. Hissing sounds came from all
around them and figures started to rise from the sand
once again.
"Sith!" swore Qui-Gon.
"Shit!" swore Obi-Wan.
"We can't keep fighting these things in this sand -
it's too tiring, we'll be worn down," Obi-Wan called
to his Master.
"There must be a way to stop them - it has to be
something to do with that hourglass. We need to
manipulate it in some way," Qui-Gon answered. Looking
around him, Obi-Wan suddenly noticed that twice as
many figures were rising from the sand this time.
"To the Sith with manipulating. Here goes nothing!" he
shouted and hurled his ignited lightsaber over several
forming sand creatures, across the remaining 20 feet
to the hourglass. It hit blade-first, shattering the
hourglass into a hail of shards. As the glass
shattered, the forming creatures exploded back into
harmless clouds of sand.
"All right, who's the man!" Obi-Wan cried
triumphantly.
"Don't get too cocky, Padawan, you could just as
easily have missed. If I remember rightly, lightsaber
throwing isn't taught at the Temple," Qui-Gon replied
as he headed past the shattered hourglass and picked
up his apprentice's lightsaber, which was now
deactivated.
"Looks like you've damaged your lightsaber as well.
You'll need to stay behind me from now on." With that
he headed towards a narrow door that opened in the far
wall, with a muttering apprentice in tow.
They had both expected another corridor and were
surprised when they stepped straight into another
room. It was a long ornate reception room similar to
those found in royal palaces across the galaxy. Plush
red and purple carpet and wall hangings decorated the
room along with numerous paintings and ornaments. The
center of the room was dominated by a large fire pit,
in which several large logs burned, providing the only
light source in the room other than Qui-Gon's
lightsaber.
Sitting in a large ornate chair at the other end of
the room was the focus of both Jedi's attention. A
robed and hooded figure sat watching them, the only
sound coming from it's slow steady clapping.
"Well done, well done, I'm impressed you passed all my
tests." Its voice was a soft, hissing whisper, yet it
carried easily across the large room.
"Who are you?" Qui-Gon demanded. "*What* are you?"
"Who am I? My name is not something I would give so
easily, Jedi. Names are powerful magic. *What* I am I
can tell you. I am the 4th of the 13, Master of
Shadows, member of the Shadow Circle, seeker of
Car'these, destroyer of all who oppose. Returned to
this reality after being banished for such a long
time."
"He didn't really answer your question," Obi-Wan
whispered.
"Not now Obi-Wan, this is serious," Qui-Gon said
shortly.
"I know it's serious Master, I'm not a child. The
problem is that you take everything *too* seriously!"
Obi-Wan snapped back suddenly.
Qui-Gon turned on the young man in shock and outrage,
spluttering briefly before he could get out a reply.
"You've gone too far now, Padawan, you're going to
have to be punished for this. Punished like the child
you seem to be!"
"You wouldn't have even got this far if it wasn't for
this child! You'd still be staring at that stupid
glowing ball."
"Ahem...," said the robed figure across the room. "I'm
still here you know. Should I be leaving the room?" It
sounded rather amused.
Qui-Gon gave his apprentice one last sharp look, then
turned back to the figure. "You have directly and
intentionally attacked two Jedi Knights and must now
return in our custody for trial before the Senate."
The figure let out a dry hissing laugh. "You really
don't understand do you? You Jedi are foolish, yet
still dangerous. I was correct to set up this test.
The circle will surely take action against your Temple
now before we start to establish ourselves fully
within your Republic."
"I think not," said Qui-Gon as he strode across the
room, lightsaber in hand. Waving his hand he uttered a
Force-driven command. "Do not move!"
The cloaked figure laughed softly, then raised its own
hand. "Fair thee well for now, Jedi. I shall be seeing
you again, I think. At least one last time for you."
With that the figure vanished from sight as if it had
been a hologram suddenly switched off. Qui-Gon swore
and darted the few metres to the chair, but there was
nothing he could do. The robed figure was gone.
Searching around the chair he found no sign of any
device to aid its escape or project its image.
"Sith," the Jedi master cursed again.
Obi-Wan moved over and help Qui-Gon search the room.
They eventually found a roof hatch that opened to a
ladder, most likely leading to the surface.
"We have to tell the Council of this, Master," Obi Wan
said, wide-eyed and shocked at the recent
disappearance.
"Of course, Padawan, we must report this immediately.
Or almost immediately. There is one thing that we must
take care of first."
Obi-Wan looked at his master in confusion then yelped
as Qui-Gon grabbed him by the braid and marched him
over to the large chair that had recently been
occupied. Sitting down in the chair, Qui-Gon pulled
the shocked and startled apprentice down across his
lap.
"Master, you can't do this!" Obi-Wan cried
indignantly. "I'm - I'm too old to be spanked
anymore!"
"If you insist on acting like a child then I will
treat you and punish you like one," Qui-Gon replied
grimly.
Obi-Wan tried to struggle, but he had forgotten how
hard it was to move in this position. Qui-Gon easily
restrained him.
"Master, the Council - " Obi-Wan exclaimed in one last
attempt to save himself.
"The council can wait, it wouldn't be the first time,"
Qui-Gon stated firmly then cut off any reply by
bringing his hand down hard across the young man's
backside.
Obi-Wan let out a yelp that was more surprise that
pain. The blows came down heavy and fast and when
Obi-Wan cried out a second time it wasn't surprise.
Qui-Gon was ruthless, working across both sides of his
buttocks and up and down the backs of his thighs. The
Padawan struggled at first but eventually just
shuddered with each smack as the spanking continued.
Tears started to form in his eyes as his master worked
out his frustration through his punishment. The sounds
of a heavy hand and sobbing cries echoed around the
empty hall.
After what seemed like an eternity it finally stopped.
Obi-Wan's whole backside burned as it radiated heat.
Qui-Gon slowly pulled him from his lap and stood him
up, steadying him until he found his feet. Obi-Wan
sniffled miserably, trying to control his tears.
Cheeks burning with shame, he risked a glance up at
Qui-Gon. Thankfully, his Master did not look angry -
his expression had settled into one of fond
exasperation. A moment later, Obi-Wan had been
gathered into a comforting embrace.
Hiding his face in the folds of Qui-Gon's robe,
Obi-Wan let the last of his sobs run their course.
When his tears had subsided into occasional sniffles,
Qui-Gon pulled back, put a hand under Obi-Wan's chin
and tilted his face up. Meeting his Padawan's gaze
squarely, the Jedi Master gave him a concerned look.
"You took a lot of risks today with your actions,
Padawan. Any one of them could have been fatal. It was
because of this that you ended up being punished. But
that said, I'm also very proud of some of the things
you did today. You were right when you said that we
wouldn't have got this far without your actions."
Obi-Wan gave the Jedi a shy smile at this and nodded.
"Thank you, Master."
"You're welcome, Obi-Wan. Now, we should go. We have a
lot to report."
With that, the two Jedi headed for the ladder. Obi-Wan
winced as he walked and Qui-Gon gave him a sympathetic
smile. "It's going to hurt for a while," he said.
"It's not that, Master," Obi-Wan said with a little
grin. "It's this damn sand in my boots."
Qui-Gon laughed out loud for the first time all day.
"Wait until we get to the ship, then you can empty
them out and use the 'fresher. We must hurry though,
and report everything to the Council."
They hurried up through the hatch and the last thing
that could be heard in the room was Obi-Wan's voice
drifting down the shaft.
"Can we leave out the bit about Master Yoda's
bathers?"
THE END