Happy Spanksgiving

by Xcraft

Hoover Building
Tuesday, Nov. 23rd, 5:00pm

Mulder and Scully had been called into Skinner's office at 4:00, an hour ago and had been read the riot act the entire time over slip-ups from their last case. Over the course of that hour, Mulder had gradually sunk lower and lower in his chair. He now had all the qualities of a scolded teenager, from the slouched position to the pouty lip. His mind had somewhat wandered and it took 2 or 3 calls of his name to get his attention.

"Mulder...Mulder...Mulder!" Skinner barked.

His head snapped up, face to face with an angry AD.

"Sit up and pay attention!" Skinner ground out as he made his way back around his desk.

Mulder blushed and glanced quickly at Scully then slid his butt back, sitting up straight in the chair.

"I really ought to suspend you. Especially you, Agent Mulder." Skinner's eyes narrowed as he made eye contact with Mulder until the younger man could no longer hold his gaze and looked away. "I won't, but I'm going to keep an extra close eye on you for the next 2 weeks. I hope to see some improvement from both of you." He shifted his gaze to Scully. Her expression remained calm until she cast an accusing glance in Mulder's direction. Skinner knew she would take some of the heat for her partner. She always did. He wondered if she ever collected for all the favors she'd done for him.

"On a lighter note, do both of you have plans for Thanksgiving?" Skinner's face softened as he leaned back in his chair.

"No Sir." answered Mulder.

"Well, I'm trying to get Mulder to come to my parent's house with me, but he's been rather evasive." Scully offered as she stood and straightened her suit.

Mulder followed her lead and stood hoping this disastrous meeting was at an end.

"You know your brother is going to be there and you know how he is."

Scully stopped suddenly causing Mulder to collide into the back of her. "Mulder!... Fine. Whatever. The invitation is open, I'll leave it up to you. Is that all Sir?" Her attention returned to Skinner.

"Yes, that will be all for now. Watch yourselves for the next couple weeks. I do not, I repeat, do not want you two back in here unless it is good news."

"Yes Sir." came the response in unison.

"Mulder, could you stay please." Skinner put his hand on Mulder's shoulder and the younger man noticeably flinched.

"See you tomorrow Mulder." Scully gave Mulder an understanding look on her way out.

"Yea, tomorrow. See 'ya Scully."

Mulder expected to be sent back to the chair in front of Skinner's desk, but the AD remained at his side, his hand still resting on his shoulder.

"Was there something else Sir?" Mulder asked as he looked sheepishly out of the corner of his eye at Skinner.

The AD had to suppress a chuckle at the worrisome look on Mulder face. (How can a 37 yr. old man look so young?) "I just wanted to let you know Mulder, that if you decide not to go with Scully, I would like you to come to my place for Thanksgiving. My sister and her husband and 2 kids will be there and we would love to have you."

Mulder gulped at the thought of spending the whole day with Skinner. "Well,... I'm not sure what I'm doing yet Sir."

"Mulder, I don't want you to spend the holiday alone. It's going to be casual. Lots of food, football, and more food if I know my sister."

"We'll see Sir. Thanks for the invite." Mulder started for the door, but the grip on his shoulder tightened.

"Mulder," Skinner's hand moved to the back of Mulder's neck and grasped it firmly. "I don't want any more reports like this last one. Is that understood, young man?" His grip tightened to make the point.

"Yes Sir. Understood."

Skinner slapped Mulder on the shoulder. "Good! Hopefully I'll see you Thursday. Good-nite Mulder."

"Bye Sir."

Mulder quickly made his way out of the office before he could be stopped again. When he returned to his office, he noticed Scully had already left. He checked his e-mail and found a letter from the Gunmen. (((Hey Mulder, What's up? Stop by after work. We've got something you might be interested in.)))

Domain of the Gunmen
7 PM

There was a knock at the door and Frohike looked through the peep-hole. "Hey, it's Mulder." Then a little louder, "What's the secret knock?"

"C'mon guys, it's me. Open up." came a somewhat whiney voice from the other side of the door.

Frohike opened he door and let Mulder in. "What's the matter? Bad day?"

"You could say that. Skinner just chewed my butt out for an hour."

"Looks like you still have plenty left." Frohike added, looking at Mulder's butt and chuckling.

"Ha, ha, ha. You're so funny. So, what's up?"

The three began bustling around the room all talking at the same time. Papers were coming at Mulder from both sides. Only a few words were understandable.

"UFO"

"Sightings"

"Arizona"

That was all Mulder needed to hear. "Hey, hey, guys! Cool it! I'm on thin ice now. Have you checked this out?"

"Well..."

"Sorry, no can do. Skinner will have my ass. Hey, what's this?" Mulder held up a picture of Scully in a very, very skimpy bikini.

Byers grabbed it from him and slid it under some papers, but Mulder pulled it back out, much to the amusement of Frohike and Langly.

"Byers has been playing around with some new and improved photo software."

"Wow, not bad. But...uhh... I wouldn't let Scully see this. Not if you value your life." Mulder chuckled.

"Yea, this new stuff is cool. Here check it out Mulder." Byers booted up the program and demonstrated the possibilities. Soon there was a picture of Mulder over the knees of some Neanderthal with Skinner's head.

"Yea, yea, funny guys." Mulder blanched at the photo feeling it probably wouldn't take much for his boss to assume this position on his own considering today's meeting. His thoughts soon turned to mischief and a gleam entered his eye. "You guys mind if I mess around with this?"

"No Mulder, enjoy. We're going to do a little digging to see if there is anything to this latest UFO report. Yell out if you need any help."

"That's okay, I think I can handle it." Mulder gave them a rather exasperated look.

As the Gunmen busied themselves Mulder's hands flew over the keyboard. He pulled up different pictures from saved files. Finally, after pulling up and detaching a dozen or so photos, Mulder quietly chuckled to himself at his creation. Before him was a picture of a proud Thanksgiving turkey with the head of AD Skinner. (One final touch) Mulder typed in a message: *Happy Turkey-day Scully, From you're partner in crime.* Mulder sat back and a satisfied grin spread over his face. (Now this is a Thanksgiving greeting I'm sure Scully will enjoy.) He typed in her e-mail address and, as he pressed the send button, a fleeting thought went through his head if it was the right one. (Sure it is. I send her stuff all the time.)

He finished talking to the Gunmen, their source proving to be unreliable with the latest sighting. Noticing the time, Mulder said goodbye and headed home, his couch and videos calling him.

Hoover Building
Wednesday, Nov. 24th, 8:00am

As Skinner made his way to his office he was getting an odd feeling that people were watching him. Not that some of the women didn't usually watch him, but usually he didn't notice. And, he more than once heard soft laughter after he passed by. When he finally made it to his office his agitation limit was just about met.

"Good morning Kim." The usual morning greeting was quiet.

"Uhm... Good morning Sir." Kim blushed slightly and shuffled some papers in front of her.

"Could you come into my office for a second. And bring whatever it is you're trying to hide."

Reluctantly she followed him into the office.

"I know you have something you don't want me to see and I've been getting strange vibes since I got here this morning. Can you clear this up for me?" He tried to control his voice level. He didn't want to intimidate Kim, just get some answers.

"Yes Sir. Uhmm... well, you see..." She stopped and looked at the papers in her hand.

"Yes, go on."

"It seems something came over the office e-mail and... well... I guess you'll just have to see for yourself." She thrust the papers at Skinner and took a step back.

Skinner flipped over the top sheet and his jaw noticeably clenched.

"Thank you. That will be all for now." Skinner ushered Kim to the door and closed it behind her. He crossed back to his desk and slammed the paper down.

"That little shit!"

Basement Office
Hoover Building

Mulder strolled into the office whistling a little tune. He flung his overcoat into an empty chair and sat down at his desk.

"Mornin' Scully. How's it go..." He stopped mid-sentence from the look she gave him.

"What?"

"Have you lost your mind Mulder? I mean, when Skinner sees this he's going to freak."

"Whoa, whoa Scully. What are you talking about?"

Scully placed the incriminating evidence in front of him.

"Oh, I see you got my e-mail. So what do you think? Right on the money, right?" Mulder leaned back, putting his hands behind his head.

"Mulder! Are you crazy? No, don't answer that. All I know is, you're a dead man."

Mulder's face scrunched up, not getting what Scully was talking about.

"Mulder, this," she waved the picture in front of Mulder and put it on his desk, "*this* came over the inner-office e-mail."

The color drained from Mulder's face and he felt as though his heart fell into his stomach. "W--w--what?"

"That's right Mulder, everyone got this bit of creativity."

"OH, SHIT!"

Just then the phone rang and without thinking, Mulder answered it. "Yes?"

If there was any color left in his face at all, it was definitely gone now.

"Mulder! Get. Your. Ass. Up. Here. Now!" Skinner's voice boomed through the phone.

"Yes Sir." Mulder barely got it out before the line disconnected. He hung up the phone and closed his eyes. Slowly he shook his head and whispered, "Shit, shit, shit."

Scully sighed loudly and patted his shoulder. She really didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. Mulder slowly got to his feet, is whole body slouched like that of a doomed man. Scully gave him a reassuring smile as he headed off to his execution.

The walk to Skinner's office seemed 10 times longer. Along the way people smiled at him and said, "way to go" and "good one" and patted him on the back. All of this made him more and more apprehensive. He began to sweat and he was actually shaking. He hadn't felt this way since he was a kid being sent to the principals office. Kim just smiled at him and directed him to Skinner's door.

"Go right in Agent Mulder. He's waiting for you."

"Great." Mulder stopped and took a deep breath before entering. Once he closed the door, he managed to look at the AD. Skinner was standing, looking out the window behind his desk. He pointed to a chair by the desk and said, "SIT!" He didn't make any eye contact.

Mulder sat and waited... and waited, his eyes focused on the floor in front of him wishing he could just disappear.

"Mulder!" Skinner barked as he slammed his hand down hard on the desk.

Mulder jumped, the loud noise causing his head to snap up along with a sharp intake of breath.

"WHAT exactly is this!" Skinner held up the paper. He, himself, the picture of barely controlled anger. "Answer me!"

Mulder was at a total loss for words. All he could do was look from the paper to Skinner, opening and closing his mouth. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath until the pain in his head said breathe.

In a flash, Skinner dropped the paper and was coming around the desk. The intimidating move helped Mulder to find his voice.

"Uhm... Sir, I... I can explain." His hands raised reflexively in front of him.

Skinner grabbed his lapels and hoisted him to his feet. Mulder felt himself pulled forward, way too close for comfort, the anger in Skinner's eyes making his knees weak.

"Are you playing with me Mulder?"

Skinner's tone was low and menacing. Mulder felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end and a chill ran through him.

"NO! N-no Sir! Please. It was meant just for Scully." Mulder pleaded. His hands closed around Skinner's wrists as he tried to pull away. "I guess I messed up the address. I... I'm sorry Sir! I don't know what else to say."

Skinner pushed him down into the chair so hard he almost bounced. Mulder tried to regain his composure as Skinner slowly paced back and forth in front of him, his fists clenching and unclenching. He was obviously trying to get control of himself and Mulder seriously considered bolting for the door.

"I am at my wits end with you young man." Skinner began.

Mulder swallowed hard, that young man stuff was definitely bad.

"What am I going to do with you?"

Mulder opened his mouth, not really knowing what to say. It was hard to answer those kind of questions without digging yourself deeper. Skinner shushed him with his hand and returned to his chair on the opposite side of the desk. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, staring at Mulder for an extended period of time.

Mulder began to squirm. He was hot and found it hard to breathe. He really wanted to loosen his tie, but decided any movement would be bad.

Finally Skinner spoke. "Well, young man, I expected more from you." He shook his head as he spoke. "This is extremely juvenile, even for you Mulder."

The disappointment in Skinner's face made Mulder feel about an inch tall. "Sir, I'm really sorry. I never meant for you or anyone else but Scully to see that." His voice sounded shaky and cracked more than normal.

"This juvenile stunt calls for only one course of action that I can see." Skinner paused to take in Mulder's reaction.

"Sir?"

"I think a juvenile punishment for such a juvenile act would benefit you greatly. Tell me Mulder, were you ever called to the principals office as a child?"

Mulder's mind flashed to the many times he had visited the principal and the memories were not good. He gave Skinner a pitiful look and nodded.

"And what exactly happened when you went there?"

"I...uhm... I usually got a lecture, Sir."

"And what else?"

"Well, he would... dis-discipline me, Sir."

"How?"

Mulder squirmed in his seat. His backside tingling as he remembered. "He would... I was pad... paddled, Sir."

"And did that teach you anything, Mulder?"

"Yea! It made me not want to be called to his office again." Mulder ran his hands over his thighs as his nerves began to make his palms sweat.

"So you could say it had a positive influence on your behavior. Well, that's good enough for me. I want you back in this office at precisely 7 PM. Not one minute later, Mulder. I can assure you that you would deeply regret it. You got it?"

Skinner rose and his hands went to his hips making him seem larger and more imposing.

"Yes Sir, I got it." Mulder rose and side stepped towards the door. "Uhm... Sir? Wh-what do you have in mind?"

"Seven o'clock Mulder." was Skinner's response. "You're excused, for now."

Mulder was out the door in a shot, not really looking forward to his last few hours of freedom. This was turning out to be the longest day of his life.

"Kim, I'm going to take a early lunch. I've got a few stops to make and I'll be staying late tonight, but you can leave at 5." Skinner released the intercom button and tried to rub some of the tension from his neck.

Hoover Building
7:00 PM
Skinners Office

At precisely 7:00, Mulder knocked on Skinner's door.

"Come in Agent Mulder. Well, I'm glad to see you are on time." He put away the last few papers that were on his desk and added under his breath, "Not that it will make a difference."

Mulder wasn't sure if he heard that last part right or not, but moved to the chair, his chair, in front of Skinner's desk and sat down.

"Did I tell you to sit?"

That dangerous low tone was back in Skinner's voice and Mulder immediately stood. "Sorry, Sir."

Skinner stood and removed his suit coat. "Well, I think we should get started, don't you agree?"

Mulder shifted from one foot to the other. "Uhm, I-I guess so... Sir."

Skinner shot him a stern glance at the word "guess". "I know you remember our conversation earlier today. Would you remove your jacket please."

"What? Oh, yes Sir." Mulder fumbled with his suit coat, hanging it over the back of his chair.

Skinner, meanwhile, had loosened his tie and was in the process of rolling up his sleeves. "Well, young man, why are you here?"

Mulder was a bit distracted by the strong forearms now exposed and missed the question. "Excuse me, Sir?"

"I want you to tell me why you are finding yourself in my office after hours, Agent Mulder."

"I...I'm to be r-reprimanded, Sir."

Skinner snorted. "Reprimanded? The word is punished."

"P-punished?" Mulder spoke in barely a whisper.

"Yes, punished. And remember, young man, a juvenile punishment for a juvenile act." Skinner reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a paddle that would scare Superman and placed it on the desk in front of him. It was a large fraternity style paddle with 2 rows of dime sized holes running down its length.

If Mulder's eyes would have opened any wider they would have fallen out of his head. His mouth dropped open and a silence fell over the room.

"Sir?" Mulder pleaded, "You can't be serious. You're...you're not going to use that, that..... thing, are you?"

"I most certainly am." Skinner stated matter-of-factly and came around the desk.

"Wait... No!" Mulder felt his upper arm in a vise like grip and he was pulled forward until his hips touched the desk.

"I'm sure you know the position."

Mulder shook his head, "No Sir. Please. You can't.... I mean..."

Skinner's hand clamped on the back of his neck and pushed. "Over the desk. Now!"

Mulder braced himself with his arms, resisting the downward motion. "C-can't we talk about this?"

"No. You're just making it worse." Skinner increased the pressure.

"Pleease, Sir."

"It just got worse!" Skinner grabbed Mulder's left wrist with his free hand and twisted it behind Mulder's back. In no time he had he younger man bent over in a very vulnerable position. Keeping pressure on Mulder's back, Skinner reached over and retrieved the paddle. He rested it against the seat of Mulder's pants, moving it in small circles. "I hope you're ready, 'cause we're about to begin."

In a flash, the paddle slammed into Mulder's backside, the unexpected pain causing him to yelp.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

Mulder gritted his teeth and grimaced. The swats were coming so fast he didn't have time to think.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

After 10 stinging swats, Skinner released his hold and uttered the 4 words that Mulder would remember for quite a while. "Drop your pants Mulder."

Mulder was stunned. Did Skinner just tell him to drop his pants? Was his embarrassment to continue?

"Sir?"

"Drop 'em! NOW!"

Mulder slowly rose, his hands still on the desk.

WHAACK!

"NOW! I said!"

Mulder's hands flew to his belt, fumbling with the buckle.

WHAACK!

"Faster!"

Quickly, Mulder found himself in just his boxers, his pants in a useless heap at his ankles.

"Now, back over the desk!" Skinner got him moving with a slight shove.

Returned to his bent position, Mulder rested his forehead on his arms. Skinner flipped up the back of his shirt and grasped the paddle in both hands, baseball bat style.

WHAAAACK!!!

Mulder shot up, "Oh. My. God!!" His hands flew to his backside and rubbed frantically.

"Back down, boy. And don't get up again or I will cuff you." Skinner's voice was low, but the message was loud and clear.

Mulder bent back over, sure that his face was as red as his ass.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

Skinner let fly another volley of swats, each one lifting Mulder up on his toes. No longer able to contain himself, Mulder began to yelp at each swat.

WHACK!

"AHHHHHH!"

WHACK!

"Ohhh, pleeease!"

WHACK!

"Ohhhhhh!"

When Skinner reached 20 he stopped. Mulder was softly sobbing, his shirtsleeves wet from his tears. Skinner grasped the elastic waistband and quickly had the boxers at Mulder's knees.

"SIR! PLEASE!" Mulder wanted to stand, but what little modesty he still had kept him bent over the desk. He looked over his shoulder, his eyes pleading and wet with tears.

Skinner looked at the very red backside before him. "I think 30 on the bare ought to do it."

"NO! Please, Sir! It hurts! You're killing me. I can't take anymore!"

"I'll decide what you can take young man, not you." Skinner rested the paddle on the scarlet cheeks.

Mulder sobbed loudly and put his head back down, grabbing at his hair with both hands. "No More (sob) please. I'm sorry, (sob), I'm sorry!"

Skinner pulled the paddle way back and planted a zinger at the base of Mulder's butt.

"AHHHHHHH!"

He landed the first 20 swats at about a swat per second. At 20, Mulder was openly crying. The pain in his backside was unbelievable.

WHAACK!

"Will you EVER do something like this again!"

WHAACK!!

"AHHHHHH!"

WHAACK!!

"Speak up!"

WHAACK!!

"NOOOO! Ahhh! NO SIR!"

WHAACK!!

"I hope for your sake, that's true."

WHAACK!!

"IT IS! Owwwwww! It is!"

WHAACK!!

"I promise!"

WHAACK!!

"I PROMISE!!"

WHAACK!!

Skinner put down the paddle and rubbed his arm. Mulder was crying, his shoulders wracked with sobs.

"Why don't you go into the bathroom and get yourself together." Skinner raised Mulder's boxers and pants and helped in he direction of the bathroom at the back of the office. Mulder limped away and nodded, his breath catching with each sob.

Once in the small room, Mulder splashed cold water over his face and tried to get his breathing under control. After resting his head against the wall for a few minutes he decided to check out the damage. Gently, he lowered his pants and shorts, wincing as they slid over his burning cheeks. He looked at his reflection in the small mirror over the sink and gasped. His ass was cherry red and the lower half was purple. Carefully, he ran his hand over his butt. It was swollen and welted, and just the soft touch of his fingers caused him pain. He was truly dreading the ride home. After another 5 minutes, he was somewhat under control, but the thought of facing Skinner after this was unnerving.

He slowly limped back into the office. His gate was stiff as he tried to avoid his pants rubbing his over-sensitized cheeks.

Skinner was looking out the window, which actually helped the moment for Mulder.

"Agent Mulder?" Skinner spoke without turning around.

"Yes, Sir?" Came the subdued reply.

"The slate is clean now and hopefully we can go on fresh from here. I am going to keep the paddle however, hopefully you'll remember it the next time you're tempted to pull some sort of stunt."

"Oh, I'll remember it Sir! You can count on that." Mulder picked up his jacket and stiffly made his to the door. "I'll see you then? Sir?" not sure if he was excused or not.

"Yes, good night Mulder. I'll see you tomorrow."

"T-tomorrow Sir?" Mulder paused, his hand on the doorknob.

"Yes, tomorrow Mulder. Thanksgiving at my place. Oh, and don't worry, my chairs are nicely padded."

!!HAPPY SPANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!