A Cane and a High Collar

by Ursula



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In honor of gay marriage legal today in the Netherlands, but only for its own citizens, alas.



(Parody from Words & music by Tepper - Bennett)

Sk: I'll take your cherry, sweetie pie
M: Well thank you very kindly, man
But I lost it to a ratty guy
Hi-lo-my rosy-assy oh

Sk: I'll catch that rat and make him holler.
Come Saturday night I'll court two pretty boys
With a cane and a stout collar
Fox-boy, if you'll marry me
I'll be your darling master

M: Now why should I drink from just one well
When two makes me come faster?
Hi-lo-my rosy-assy oh!

Sk: Fox, my dear, I'm a Kama Sutra Scholar
Come Saturday night I'll court two pretty boys
With a cane and a leather collar
at my complete and thoughtful disposal
Let me change my proposal
Ratboy, Fox-boy, name the day
We'll move to the Netherlands
for a year and more until we can say
I do. Exchanging three wedding bands

Sk: Say yes, my loves and spare the hollers
Come Saturday night, I'll court two pretty boys
With a cane and leather collars

M: I screw all day and spoon all night
I've got my Walter and Ratty too.
Then why should I get married, man,
when I'm happy through and through?
Hi-lo-my rosy-assy oh!

Sk: Foxy dear and Ratty love
as I put on my protective glove
You didn't seem to think to ask
or even look a bit aghast
at why I thought to court with cane
Much as it gives me a thrill of pain,
I'll ask again with you over my bended knee
Lovely stubborn boys, won't you marry me?

M: Oh, Alex, love, we've succeeded in teasing
our sweet lover into doing our pleasing.
You go first while I find a nice white tux or two
And we'll be proud to say, I do.
And stand so lovely to say our vows
unable to sit with what he endows!

Sk: Come some Holland night, I'll marry two pretty boys
With Fox and a rat, a cane and golden rings
and forever share in Double Dutch their tender joys.
Hi-lo-their rosy-assy ohs



Original: A Cane and a High Starched Collar

(Words & music by Tepper - Bennett)

Cowboy, cowboy marry me
I'll bake you a cherry pie
Well thank you very kindly mam
But I'm too young to die
Hi-lo-do-si-dosy-do
Stay single and save a dollar
Come Saturday night I'll court a pretty girl
With a cane and a high starched collar
Cowboy if you'll marry me
I'll be your darling Jenny
Now why should I drink from just one well
When I can drink from twen'y
Hi-lo-do-si-dosy-do
Stay single and save a dollar
Come Saturday night I'll court a pretty girl
With a cane and a high starched collar
Cowboy, cowboy name the day
July 'd be nice I reckon
Gladly meet you at the church
July the 32nd
Hi-lo-do-si-dosy-do
Stay single and save a dollar
Come Saturday night I'll court a pretty girl
With a cane and a high starched collar
You sleep all day and spoon all night
And eat your favorite chow
Then why should I get married mam
That's what I'm doing now
Hi-lo-do-si-dosy-do
Stay single and save a dollar
Come Saturday night I'll court a pretty girl
With a cane and a high starched collar

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