short piece
WRITTEN:
1986, 19 years
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I honestly have no idea why I wrote this or what inspired me. I can't even remember writing it! I was looking for a copy of something else in an archive of stuff I sent a former penpal and I came across this. I don't like it really at all, and while it does seem to "have something", I'm inclined to think it should keep it. It was written in July, so I would have been going out with Tony, the first Great Love of My Life. We did do a fair bit of drinking (if it weren't for the drinking games I would never have noticed him), so possibly I scribbled this nonsense during a burst of drunken "creativity". Or maybe during the hangover. Whatever, whenever, I still think it's a ghastly piece of trash.
looking at the wet legs. why am I here? I don't know. it's dark, but the wet legs are illuminated strikingly by yellow and blue lights that flash from their positions on the ceiling. wet legs. four legs. two male and two female. moving. naked. moving and moving. circling. never touching.
I look up. bodies attached to the legs. wet bodies. naked bodies. obese, obscene bodies. undulating. reverberating. arms waving outwards from the bodies. fingers twitching. wet. all wetness. shimmery.
faces smiling smiling smiles upwards from the faces. glaring leering sneering smiles. undulating bodies. legs moving moving. circling. bodies shaking flabby wet.
looking at the wet legs bodies arms faces smiling. why am I here? looking at the smiling faces. contempt dominiating radiating outwards upwards from inwards. obscene malignant radiating circling. evil festering festering growing greater outwards reaching. reaching.
REACHING FOR ME. rushing. consumed. fighting fighting evil relentless battle outwards inwards inside.
INSIDE THE EVIL. EVIL INSIDE ME. forced to be evil. obese obscene evil. inwards INSIDE inside inwards outside radiating GROWING help me help me DROWNING influenced drugged.
drugged with evil. fed with evil. fed on evil. evil evil evil.
fed and drugged and filled. all evil. evil inside. inside the evil. TRAPPED. I am Puppet. I am moving moving circling naked obscene obscene TRAPPED forced inside inwards outwards INSIDE.
Inside the evil, but with the evil inside me, I am trapped. I am Puppet, although they call me Slave. I am their slave. The Evil One decreed it be so. I had no choice to obey or not to obey: I am a part of the Evil One - what he wills I do, I do.
Those who worship the Evil One, the man and the woman, also have no choice. They are his slaves also, but he gave them too much power, and so they wanted a slave of their own. I am Puppet, the slave. I am Slave: I obey.
The woman's name was Merala, the man's, Rodan, before they were captured by the Evil One. Now he calls them Kubba and Tsag, conscience and tormentor. I must call them Master and Mistress. I do. I fear for my soul.