I appreciate comments on all my work. Email me at quiara@hotmail.com.
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My first songwriting effort was a takeoff on George and Ira Gershwin's "I Got Rhythm" to be sung by Princess Leia Organa sometime during ROTJ:
I got allies;
I got blasters;
I got my Han,
Who could ask for anything more?
I got Ewoks
On green Endor;
I got my Han,
Who could ask for anything more?
Old Man Vader, I don't mind him.
You won't find him
"Round my door.
I got starships;
I got sweet dreams;
I got my Han,
Who could ask for anything more,
Who could could ask for anything more!
My next blasphemy was a short piece, to the tune of Mr. Ed:
The Force is the Force, of course, of course,
And Obi-Wan's strong with the Force, of course
Unless the Force is the Evil Force
In whch case he'll be dead!
Give the author a piece of your mind...
My subsequent work, composed in a fit of boredom, goes to the tune of "Hard Knock Life" from the stage musical Annie. The original was the song of the orphans. This version is meant to be sung by stormtroopers in full armor, including helmets and works best if you envision choreography along with it.
It's the hard knock life for us!
It's the hard knock life for us!
'Steada shooting-we get hit!
'Steada winning-we get kicked!
It's the hard knock life!
Got no aim to speak of so
It's the hard knock row we hoe
Ewok blankets-'steada wool
Empty blasters-'steada full
It's the hard knock life!
Don't it feel like the helmets always too small?
Don't it seem like there's never any light?
Once a day, don't you want to join the Rebel force?
It's easier than putting up a fight!
No one's there when the little bears get creepy
No one gives half a damn 'bout what you think
You'll get shot if your eyes get red and weepy
When they shoot you you can just hope that you'll blink! Oh!
Got no screen time life
Just a bit part life
Full of sorrow life
Dead tomorrow life!
Victory we never see
Vick Tori, who's that? what's he?
No one cares for you, you cur
When you are a stormtrooper
It's the hard knock life!
Yank the whiskers from his chin
Jab him with a safety pin
Make her drink a Mickey Finn
We love you Grand Moff Tarkin!
It's the hard knock life for us!
It's the hard knock life for us!
No one cares for you, you cur
When you are a stormtrooper
It's the hard knock life, it's the hard knock life!
It's the hard knock life!
All right, that's it! I can't take any more!
Written on a complete rush after seeing the Special Edition, for Han and Leia to the tune of "There's a Hole in the Bucket":
H- There's a hole in the Falcon, dear Leia, dear Leia
There's a hole in the Falcon, dear Leia, a hole.
L- So fix it, dear Han....etc.
H- With what shall I fix it, dear Leia....etc.
L- With spare parts...etc.
H- I'm out of spare parts...etc.
L- So buy some....etc.
H- But where shall I buy some....etc.
L- At the spaceport....etc.
H- But how shall I get there....etc.
L- In the Falcon....etc.
H- But there's a hole in the Falcon....etc.
Perhaps a great way to annoy people, if you can deal with the thought of Han saying "shall".
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