Star Trek: The Cardassian Trap

by Nathan Benkert

I'm typing this in for a friend without Internet access, so send all comments to ME and I'll forward them. This is a first-time poster, so go easy on the flames, 'kay? That said....

SPOILERS: None that I know of.

SETTING: During TNG, I think.

DISCLAIMER: Star Trek and all its characters, ships, etc are the property of Paramount Pictures, Rick Berman, or whoever. Borrowed without permission and not for profit. Don't sue any of us. You wouldn't get much.

On with the show.....

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As Lieutenant Commander Data walked into shuttlebay 3, Dr. Beverly Crusher was already there scanning his equipment for any viruses that might have contaminated the shuttle. "Personally I think the whole idea is dangerous, not to mention crazy," she said to herself. She had been against the entire procedure from the very beginning.

Cardassia had had a major outbreak of what early twentieth century humans called smallpox, which severely scarred or blinded nearly eighty percent of its victims. One of the most dangerous diseases ever known. The Cardassians had sent a priority one emergency signal to Starfleet headquarters requesting immediate assistance. Starfleet had called upon the Enterprise to help.

Because of an asteroid field surrounding the system, the Enterprise had to send out a shuttlecraft.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard and his first officer Commander William T. Riker were taking a few days' leave at Starbase 605 on the edge of Cardassian territory. The Enterprise was to pick them up after the shuttle had left. Until then, Lieutenant Worf, the Klingon, was in command.

"What?" Data asked as he came up to stand beside the doctor.

"Nothing," she told him. "I was just mumbling to myself. It looks like everything checks out. Are you ready?" she asked.

"After you," he replied.

Beverly stepped into the cramped interior of the shuttlecraft. On either side stood stacks of medical supplies five feet high. Data came in to stand beside her as the door closed behind him.

Beverly tapped her communicator. "Crusher to bridge, we are ready to depart."

"Acknowledged, bridge out," came Worf's voice over the comm.

"Going to one-quarter impulse power," Data said. They watched as they flew out of the shuttlebay to the blackness of space.

"We're clear," said Beverly.

"Going to full impulse power," Data announced.

Captain Picard and Commander Riker had kept themselves quite busy with all the things they had done in the past few days. They had seen countless holoplays, played several sports together, gone horseback riding and mountain climbing on the holodeck, and had even gotten the starbase personnel together one night for a poker game. They said that they hadn't felt this young in years.

"Admiral Hayes to Captain Picard." The message was so sudden that it made Picard jump.

"Picard here, what is it?"

"The Enterprise has just docked, and stands ready to beam you and your first officer aboard. Please come to transporter room three."

"Thank you Admiral. Picard out."

Picard and Riker walked to the nearest turbolift. As the doors closed, Riker said, "Transporter room," and with a sudden burst of motion, they shot up. Suddenly the lift stopped and the doors opened. They stepped out into the transporter room and up onto the sky-blue pads on the floor.

"Ready, Number One?" Picard asked him.

"Ready, sir," Riker answered .

"Energize," he ordered. And they vanished into a cloud of silver-white fog.

Back aboard the shuttlecraft, Beverly and Data were discussing the current situation.

"I don't like this," the doctor commented.

"Do not like what?" Data asked her.

"Being out in space all alone. I mean, think about it. We're all by our lonesome selves, in nothing but a measly little shuttle, with all but none protection. It's the perfect opportunity for an attack."

"I understand," Data told Beverly. "This could be a trap, but perhaps the Cardassians are indeed in danger. I do not know what to think."

At that, Data's instrument panel beeped.

"We are approaching Cardassia," he said. "Slowing to one-quarter impulse power."

"Communique coming from Cardassian high command," said Beverly.

Just then, the monitor screen switched on to reveal a Cardassian, late middle-aged, with slightly greying hair.

"Good day," he said to them. "I am the ambassador's aide. He had some last-minute business to attend to. He sends his most sincere appreciation. I trust you have the supplies."

"Of course," Beverly told him.

"Good, good. I am sending you the coordinates now. Please land immediately."

"Understood, out," said Beverly as the screen switched off.

"Receiving the coordinates," Data said. "Proceeding to land."

They watched the viewscreen as the stars whizzed past.

"Entering the planet's atmosphere now," said Data. After a few minutes the city came into view.

"We've been ordered to land on platform 327," Beverly told Data.

One hour later, after the supplies had all been unloaded, and thanks had been given (not that it was believable thanks, mind you) Beverly and Data boarded their shuttle to leave.

"Nothing has happened yet," said Data.

"No, not yet, but I'm still uneasy about this," Beverly told him.

Meanwhile, back on the Enterprise, Captain Picard and First Officer William Riker had showered, eaten dinner, and had been on the bridge for the past hour.

Suddenly, the mighty ship lurched beneath their feet.

"Mr. Worf, report," the captain yelled.

"We seem to be caught in a very violent sensor sweep," Worf told Picard.

"Raise shields and identify," Picard ordered.

"Shields are up," Worf said. "It appears to be Romulan."

"What would the Romulans want with us?" Riker mused.

"It is highly peculiar," Worf said. "I can only assume one possible explanation. They wish to know more about our systems in order to effectively destroy the shuttle carrying the medical supplies while being completely unnoticed."

Counselor Deanna Troi's voice was an almost-whisper as she managed to choke out, "The shuttle. . . ."

"Mr. Worf, open a channel," the captain said.

"Channel open, sir."

"Romulan vessel, this is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise of the United Federation of Planets. You are in violation of interstellar law. We demand to know the meaning of this unlawful attack of our ship's systems!"

"No response," Worf told his captain.

"Keep trying, " Picard told him.

"Since we can't take the ship out, we'll have to send out another shuttlecraft," Riker commented.

"Mr. Worf and I will go," Picard announced. Number One, you have the bridge," Picard announced.

"Yes, sir."

Back on the shuttle, Dr. Beverly Crusher was getting some strange readings on her instrument panels.

"Sensors say that the Enterprise should be coming into visual range in approximately five minutes," she told Data.

"The Enterprise?" Data sounded highly confused. "How did they manage to maneuver through the asteroid field?"

"Maybe the captain blasted his way through," Beverly suggested. "But that sounds pretty strange, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Data said, "it does. But just to be absolutely sure, run a brief scan of the asteroid field."

"Checking," she said. Her instrument panel beeped obnoxiously. "All the asteroids are as they should be."

"As was expected," Data said.

"What do we do now?" Beverly asked.

"We know for a fact that it is not the real Enterprise."

Just then a panel beeped somewhere.

"They are in range. Open a channel to them," Data told the doctor.

"Channel open."

"Attention, we know that you are not the Enterprise, and we demand that you tell us who you truly are, and what you are doing here."

A deafening silence followed.

"No response," Beverly said. Just then a panel beeped loudly.

"They are raising their shields and arming weapons!" Her voice was of utter despair.

"Raise shields," Data ordered.

Just as he finished, Beverly shouted, "They're firing!"

The small shuttle pitched beneath their feet.

"Direct hit," Beverly said. "Shields at seventy percent and dropping."

"Fire two five-second phaser bursts at the ship, then calculate a short warp jump to put the planet between us," Data burst out.

"Firing."

Two long red streams of flowing energy flared from the shuttle and grazed the hull of the enormous ship looming above.

"Executing warp burst now. Brace yourself." The doctor told Data.

The viewscreen flashed white light as the shuttle vaulted to the opposite end of the planet.

"I never got a chance to see this before, with all the action, but we were hit by Romulan disruptors! Also, the reading from the so-called Enterprise were very strange, almost as if the Enterprise wasn't even there!"

"Are you implying that it was, to use a metaphor, a mask for the Romulan bird-of-prey?" Data asked.

"That's what it looks like. Also, I thought that the ambassador's aide was acting a little strange. Do you remember when the aide said that the ambassador had some last-minute business to attend to?"

'Of course," Data said.

"I bet the ambassador's business was to get on the Romulan ship and blow us to kingdom come!" Beverly was getting very excited.

"That theory does seem very likely," Data told her.

Beverly's voice was very grim. "We're in a grave situation. Should I issue a distress call?"

"No, doctor," Data said. "That would easily give away our location."

"Well, do we have any distress buoys?" she asked.

"No," Data said. "There would not have been room with all of the medical supplies. We must think of a solution if we are ever to survive." And think they did. . . .

Meanwhile, on the equally small and equally vulnerable shuttlecraft carrying Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Lieutenant Worf, they had departed from the safe confines of the real Enterprise and were proceeding to Cardassia.

"Mr. Worf," Picard said, "set course for Cardassia and engage at full impulse power."

"Aye, sir," Worf said.

"Mr. Worf, what do you think of our current situation?" Picard asked him.

"The situation is highly peculiar. However, it is just like the Romulans."

"I definitely agree with that," the captain told him. "It's almost as if the Enterprise is a calamity magnet."

Worf made a grunt as if to say, "you got that right."

"Mr. Worf, I want you to be thinking of possible solutions to our predicament for the remainder of the trip."

"Yes, sir."

Meanwhile, back on the Enterprise, chief engineer Geordi La Forge had discovered something.

"La Forge to bridge," he said as he tapped his com badge.

"Riker here," came the commander's voice.

"I've got a problem, Commander. When the Romulan brid-of-prey scanned us, without being detected they somehow planted a virus that is causing failures in all of the ship's recreational systems. I've got reports from all over the ship that holodecks are malfunctioning and personal holo displays are breaking down. Lieutenant Barclay told me when he came in this morning that at Ten-Forward the replicators were serving people everything under the sun except what they ordered."

"How long will it take you to fix that?" Riker asked.

"Considering all the damage that's been done, I'd say about an hour. It's really not that hard to fix. But before we repair anything, we've got to find that virus. We're going to have to run a level two diagnostic on the entertainment systems."

"Understood. Riker out."

Up at the bridge, Commander William T. Riker, to nobody in particular, said, "Why me?"

Deanna Troi looked up at him. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing. Ensign, open a ship-wide channel."

"Channel open, sir," the ensign said.

"Attention," Riker's loud voice echoed throughout the gigantic starship. Crewmen everywhere stopped in their tracks to listen. After all, it wasn't every day you got to hear an emergency speech.

"There has been a virus found in the ship's recreational systems. We ask that no one uses the holodecks, replicators or holo-games in Ten-Forward, or even your own personal displays in your quarters. Abstaining from these activities will help us find the virus and repair the systems faster. Bridge out."

Back down in Engineering Geordi was working vigorously over his controls.

"Why us?" he asked himself. "Why does it seem like the Enterprise is the only ship in the entire fleet that comes across as many problems as we have?"

"You said it," Ensign Paul Porter told him.

Geordi hadn't noticed anyone was listening, but now that someone was he continued, "Don't get me wrong, I love being an engineer, but I'm just a little tired of fixing things in a week as many times as the Captain orders Earl Grey tea in a month. Not to mention that this is one heck of an incentive to get the job done quickly."

"Couldn't agree more," Paul said.

"Well, we're not going to get anywhere if we're standing here yakking. Let's get moving."

Meanwhile, on the shuttle carrying Captain Picard and Lieutenant Worf, they had just exited the asteroid field.

"Mr. Worf," the captain said, "is the shuttle within visual range?"

"No, sir," Worf told him.

"Where could they be?" Picard asked.

"I do not know," Worf said.

Just then, a panel beeped.

"Captain," said Worf, "there is another ship coming into range."

"Is it the shuttle?" inquired the captain.

"No." Worf's expression was one of total shock. "It is the Enterprise!"

"It can't be," the captain retorted.

"It must be a decoy." Another panel beeped. "They are arming weapons."

"Quickly, Mr. Worf. Take us on full impulse to the back side of an asteroid."

"Aye, sir."

The minute shuttle, surprisingly fast for its size, bounded for the nearest asteroid.

Picard had been holding his breath for the entire trip to their hiding spot. When they reached it, he let it all out with a sigh.

"Mr. Worf, power down."

The lights blinked off as the shuttle's velocity slowed to match the giant rock's.

Picard let out another sigh. "Whew, that was close," he said.

They sat there for what seemed like hours before Picard told Worf, "They should be gone by now. Power up, Mr. Worf."

"Aye, sir."

The relatively wimpy shuttle winked on.

"Sir," said Worf, "sensors detect the shuttle."

"Put them on screen!" Picard said quickly.

The main viewscreen blinked to life to reveal the faces of Dr. Beverly Crusher and Lieutenant Commander Data.

"Thank goodness," Picard said. "We thought we had lost you."

"Not a chance, Captain," Beverly told him.

"Do you know what's going on?" the captain asked them. "When we came across our enemy, we had to hide behind an asteroid and power down so we wouldn't be detected."

"Captain," Data began, "it appears that the enemy is a Romulan ship with a hologram of the Enterprise on the outside to make us believe you were here."

"This is getting more and more interesting," Picard said.

"Captain," said Beverly, "that's not all. It seems that before we delivered the supplies, the Cardassian ambassador left and boarded the Romulan ship to blow us to smithereens."

"Figures," Picard commented.

"What are we going to do?" Beverly inquired.

"Captain," Worf broke in, "I believe I have a fairly simple solution."

"I'm listening, Mr. Worf."

"We reverse our tractor beam to push instead of pull. Then we wait for the Romulans to come around the planet again. And when they try to fire on us. . . ." Worf trailed off.

"We activate the tractor beams and make them fire upon themselves," Picard finished for him.

"It will take approximately one hour to make the necessary adjustments," Data said. "And I estimate the Romulans will be back in 1.2 hours."

"We haven't got a lot of time," Picard said. "Let's get moving."

"Aye, sir," everyone said, almost in unison.

Back aboard the Enterprise, chief engineer Geordi La Forge had almost captured the virus. He and Paul Porter were huddled over consoles, fingers flying almost as fast as Data's.

"Paul," Geordi asked his assistant. "Do you have the containment unit hooked up?"

"Yes, sir."

"All right. I've programed the anti-virus program to hunt down the virus and chase it out of the rec systems. If successful, it should get caught in the containment unit on the way out. Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Paul told him.

"OK, loading the anti-virus program now." The words on the screen came up in big, bold white letters, "WORKING."

"Cross your fingers," Geordi said. Just then more words appeared: "Virus Found."

"That was easy. Here comes the hard part," Paul said.

The minutes seemed to crawl by, until the screen said, "Virus Contained."

Geordi let out a heavy sigh. "That goodness," he said.

Paul let out a manly "Yesss!"

Geordi tapped his communicator. "La Forge to bridge."

"Riker here," came the somewhat gruff reply.

"The virus has officially been caught!"

Over the intercom, Geodi could hear the muffled comments like, "yes," or "Finally."

"Thank you, Geordi," Riker told him. "Your work is greatly appreciated, believe me."

"You couldn't be more welcome, Commander. Just keep your fingers crossed that nothing else breaks down."

"I'll do just that. Bridge out."

Up at the bridge, Riker was feeling happy over their victory. The Enterprise may be the ship that has the most problems, but it's also the ship that always triumphs.

"Guess I'd better share the good news," he told Deanna.

"Ensign, open a shipwide channel."

"Channel open, sir," the ensign replied.

"Attention, citizens of the Enterprise, the virus has been found and eliminated. You may now relax, literally."

Throughout the ship, cries of joy rang out.

Back on the shuttles, Data and Worf had just finished making the proper adjustments to the shuttles' tractor beams.

"The Romulans will be within firing range in three minutes," Data said.

"Sir," said Worf, "what should be do if this plan is not successful?"

"Pray, Mr. Worf," Picard told him.

Beverly let out a sigh. "What are the odds of something like this happening?" The she realized what she had done. After Mr. Data stopped rambling, with her head in her hands, she told him, "That was rhetorical."

"Ah, rhetorical, meaning 'a question asked for effect, not for an answer.'"

"Data," Beverly was beginning to sound very annoyed, and who could blame her? "I really don't want to say this, but in the words of twentieth century earth, shut up."

Picard smiled good-humordly.

"Understood, Doctor. I am sorry," Data said.

"Apology accepted," she said.

Just then, a panel somewhere chirped.

"They are coming into range," Worf said.

"Ready tractor beams and arm phasers," the captain ordered.

"Aye," said Worf.

"Incoming," Beverly warned.

As she said it, a glowing, green sparkling ball shot out towards them at what seemed like warp ten.

"Activate tractor beams, Mr. Worf."

Two equally glowing, equally sparkling and equally green rays shot from the shuttles to the disruptor fire. It slowed to a crawl, then suddenly stopped and reversed course. As it flew gracefully towards the Enterprise/Bird-of-Prey, Picard cheered it on. "Going, going. . ." as it smashed through the hull of the supposed "Enterprise," Picard bellowed, "Gone!"

Just then the "Enterprise" around the Romulan bird of prey disappeared, revealing the green hollow hull of the alien vessel underneath.

"Their shields were tuned to our weapons," Beverly said. "What we did must have been completely unexpected."

"Instruments read that they are disabled," Data said.

"Channel open, sir."

"Attention, Romulan vessel," Picard began, "lower your shields and we will tow you to the nearest starbase for repairs. End message, Mr. Worf."

"Aye, sir."

"Data," Picard said, "how long will it take to put the tractor beams back to normal?"

"Approximately ten minutes, sir," Data told him.

"Make it so," Picard ordered.

"Aye, sir."

Data in one shuttle and Worf in the other opened a panel in the bulkhead and began to switch around isolinear chips. They had been working for about one minute when, all of a sudden, two bright green balls erupted from the Romulan ship. One heading for one shuttle, the other heading for the other shuttle.

Picard was stunned. "What?" he managed to stutter.

"They must have another disruptor cannon with backup batteries," Worf said.

"Convert all available power to forward shields," Picard bellowed. As he said it, the shuttle pitched beneath their feet. "Quickly, Data, put our tractor beams back to reverse."

"Indirect hit," Beverly said, "but damage nonetheless. Shields are down to 85%."

Two more green balls shot forth from the secret port.

"Tractor beams are ready," Data yelled.

"Activate them," Picard ordered.

Once again, green rays met green balls, and once again the green rays won out. The disruptor shot smashed through the Romulan bird-of-prey's engines.

"Mr. Worf and Mr. Data, fire phasers," Picard said. Two long red ribbons of phaser fire erupted from the shuttles and seared cleanly through the Romulan vessel's hull. Just then, the enemy ship exploded in a spectacular show of fire and shrapnel.

"Good riddance," Worf commented.

"You said it," Picard told him. "I suppose we should be getting back to our ship before something else goes awry. Mr. Worf and Mr. Data, set course for the Enterprise and engage at maximum impulse power."

"Aye, sir," Data said.

"Aye," said Worf.

Back aboard the real Enterprise three hours later, at 1600 hours, Picard and Riker were discussing the pervious situation in a turbolift en route to the bridge.

"So," Riker said, "they pretended to be the real Enterprise?"

"Yes, and I don't know why they thought we would believe it," Picard told him.

"I can't imagine," Riker said. "Well, we've had a few problems of our own. Has Geordi told you about the virus?"

Picard was very confused. "Virus?"

"It seems that before the Romulans took off, without being detected, they somehow planted a virus in the ship's recreational systems."

Picard was about to speak but Riker quickly added, "Don't worry, it's been caught and destroyed."

"Good," Picard told him.

The lift's doors opened and the two men stepped out onto the bridge.

As they took their seats, Deanna spoke.

"Captain, with all the happenings in the past few days, I think a recreational engagement might be in order for this evening?"

"Yes, yes," Picard said, "any suggestions?"

"Sir," Data began, "for the past two weeks I have been studying the concept of humor. I have discovered in my search a very successful comical group of late twentieth century Earth. Their name is "Monty Python," and one of the most successful films they ever made was entitled "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." I believe that it would be a suitable film considering our recent dilemma."

"Sounds good, Data, thank you," the captain said.

"You are most welcome, sir. However, we will need to know the time so that I will be able to make the necessary arrangements on the holodeck."

"Very well, Mr. Data. Shall we say 1830 hours?"

"Thank you, sir. However, I ask that you make the invitation approximately 15 minutes early, in order to grasp the effect of the time period."

"Understood," Picard told Data.

At 1820 hours, Captain Jean-Luc Picard walked into holodeck four. As the double doors closed behind him, the strong scent of popcorn found its way to his nose.

Picard instantly knew where he was. He was in an old movie theater. He hadn't been in one of these since he was a young boy.

Data turned to him. "Ah, captain," he said as he handed Picard a box of popcorn. "The holo-film will begin in approximately five minutes. I suggest you take a seat."

"Thank you, Mr. Data," he said.

As Picard walked into the next room, he found a seat next to Counselor Troi.

"Good evening, Counselor," he said.

"Good evening, Captain," she answered him.

After the rest of the crew had arrived, gotten their snacks and taken their seats, Data finally sat down two rows behind Picard and Deanna. And as he did so, the lights dimmed, and the words "From Cinema 5" appeared on the enormous screen.

As the evening wore on, the laughter erupting from inside the holodeck grew louder and louder, until passing crewmen collapsed in fits of laughter outside in the hallway. It seemed sound loud, in fact, that Guinan almost thought she felt Q coming to investigate, but she couldn't be quite sure. . . .

The End