Bloodsports

As ManOWar, SAM and L.A.Dave continue their delightful banter, Venkman rollerblades up to them wearing his favourite long, black, coat and purple tinted sunglasses, and sucks a lollipop. He stops near them as they stop and look at him, sits, and begins to take his roller-blades off.

"Howdy Guys and Gal, still chattin' away merrily I see..." he throws away the skates and clicks his fingers, and sneakers magically appear on his feet. A crunching gave be heard as he quickly does away with the last of his lollipop. "I've been a little concerned with you guys, takin' little digs at each other and have decided to put in......" Large flashing sign descends from the sky reading "MY TWO CENTS" and showing a picture of a coin, "...my two cents!". Sign vanishes. "But before I do that, lets all have a group hug!", throws arms wide and gathers the three of them up in a hug. Notices ManOWar isn't at all reluctant to swing an arm around SAM.

"Alllllllrighty...we want to resolve this quickly and painlessly, but with that special Pizzazz! Aggressive, Competitive, Destructive....yet fun" ****looks thoughtful**** "...hmm...I know! What about we play some sport? Whatta ya like? Rugby? Aussie Rules? Water Polo? Caber Toss?"

L.A. Dave speaks softly, "what about Hockey?"

"HOCKEY! excellent choice Dave!" ****clicks fingers again and Venkman is wearing a hockey mask painted with the image of a skull, black jersey with the numbers 00 in blue, great big ice skates and grips a hockey stick with a cobra painted on the length of it. Everyone finds themselves standing on ice in a stadium**** "ManOWar will be on my team cause you two obviously take some pleasure in trying to smash him.....respectfully, that is".

****A flash and L.A.Dave and SAM find themselves wearing masks with flowers painted on them, pink shirts with numbers in pastel purple, and skates and hockey stick also decorated with flowers. A small picture of a fairy on their right shoulders. ManOWar finds himself in the same costume as Venkman but with the number 01**** "I've chosen this outfit for you guys because you're WEAK, LITTLE WOOSIE FLOWER CHILDREN!!" ****Venkman whispers to ManOWar**** "Psychin' 'em out dude!"

Venkman then starts dancing about on his skates tapping his stick on the ground "Okay, schmoes...let's get it on! let's do it!" A puck drops from the ceiling and Venkman makes a fantastic SCHHHHWACK! to the other end of the stadium, th others skate over to retrieve.

****Two Skeletons sit at a desk wearing ties and suits and holding sheets of paper.

S1: " And a fascinating battle to the death today at the "Virtual Hockey Bloodfest Arena" where only four compettitors went head to head in a battle for points that left many bruised and bloody. I believe we have some highlights of the match"

S2: "We do indeed. ****TV screen between them switches on, shows static snow for a while then focuses on a picture of Venkman skating along, eyes gleaming from behind the mask**** Here we see the initiatior of the match, Venkman, skating towards another competitor, SAM, who has possession of the puck and is making her way towards the net. We'll put this on slow motion from here ****picture slows**** as we notice SAM's partner, L.A.Dave, mincing the ice as he works on a course to intercept Venkman and ....ooooooo...what a collision....Dave gets his shoulder right in there... ****Venkman is shown in slow motion as the wind is knocked out of him and he goes flying sideways into the wall****...rough stuff"

S1: "Certainly is"

S2: " There were also complaints aplenty as throughout the match, some people observing the game refused to act in a decent manner and constantly intruded on proceedings ****camera cuts to later where Witch can be seen thumping the glass with her fists and shouting abuse at SAM....screen cuts again to show "someone" hurling empty coke cans onto the ice....and then last of all another scene from the audience where Professor sits with a megaphone saying things like 'bad move there, I would have come from the right""no no no...go back!""he's open! make the pass!"****

S1 : "all in all though, a fascinating match!"

S2 : "Although it did finish early though with this incident, in which after being tripped by L.A.Dave who was slipping across the ice after ManO smashed into him....Venkman was to slide right into the path of SAM, whose skates ran right into his neck, severing his carotid artery, and cutting right to the bone! TO THE BONE! HA HA!

S1: "To the bone! HAAAAAA HA HA!"

****both skeletons laugh together and then with a splintering crash smack their heads together and vanish****

****Venkman lies on the ice, bleeding profusely, his hands to his neck. He climbs to his feet removes his hockey mask and looks at the others, completely non-plussed as his blood runs down his shirt**** . "Perfect! JUUUUUUST PERFECT! Ya see! Whether intentionally or not...sports like this end up hurting somebody....could have been anyone else...could have been one of you guys ..but...OH DAMN! this just ruins my whole day!" ****Venkman looks at all the blood over himself and on the ice. Clicks his fingers and everything is back to normal, the ice gone, the hockey gear and outfits gone, the massive gash in Venkmans neck gone****

Just be wary of how your little bloodsports may affect others, I'm gunna go get another lollipop...SAM, L.A. Dave, always a pleasure...catch ya later. ManO ****Venkman beckons him close and whispers in his ear**** Although the object of defending your teammate is to stick to an opponent, as such.... I think that following SAM around watching her ass as she skates and insisting you were providing a defense on my behalf may have been to the detriment of the game....just a little note...****Venkman winks and gives ManOWar a little slap on the shoulder****

Alrighty....bye now....****Venkman vanishes****

"I have discovered the missing portions of the bible in The Musings of Dan"
or
"I heard that criminals are being sheltered within The Lair of Dan"