"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule"

Purpose : To inform the general public of its sickness.
Audience : The paranoid, the insane and the ostracized.

The verdict : society is suffering a severe psychosis, a manic state of mind in which delusions and violent behaviour are acceptable acts. The disappointing thing is that this sickness cannot be isolated to a particular individual except, however, under terms judged suitable by the same bureaucratic overlords responsible for the governing of the mental multitude who suffer from the disease themselves. Man has gone bananas, and yet is well within his right to do so. For he is part of the majority, and therefore is able to do anything he damn well pleases, as long as the rest of his brethren are too.

Symptoms of this manic state include the concept of fashion, the idea of style and the obsession with material wealth. Firstly, the concept of fashion is something so repulsive within the individual that once recognised for what it truly is, will immediately alter to something in which it appears less distinct, but is nevertheless still present. Examples of this include the singlet and the thong or sandal. The singlet was made popular by an obscure Australian movie-star who danced snazzy ballroom, but has been recognised as a representative of fashion and so abolished in favor of the body-hugging plastic or latex top; obviously a much better idea. The thong or sandal once ruled the casual footwear title, something the sandal itself had held since the time of the ancient Romans ("Friends, Romans, country-men, lend me your sandals"), but nevertheless these shoes were abolished in favor of the Doc Marten boot. Society fails to recognise the stupidity of the fashion concept, and even if they do, they can't seem to shake off its effects. One local individual was rumored to have stated to his girlfriend "Those boots make you look bloody stupid", but this rumor has not been substantiated as this individual has faded from public view. He had entered...THE OSTRICH ZONE. Once thought to be the intangible, ethereal dimension into which large, flightless birds escaped, THE OSTRICH ZONE was later revealed as the purgatory for those who had rejected the loony messages of the greater populace, and wished to escape to "..a better place, in which spirit, courage, sanity and coca cola bottles were abundant". To be ostracised was a term later coined for this transcendence to a higher state of being.

Secondly, the idea of style is relatively dormant, yet still makes its presence felt. Back in the early fifties and sixties, style ruled supreme amongst the nation's symptoms of insanity. The appearance of the seventies, however, put style into remission. Style works under a variety of pseudonyms - panache, felicitousness, orotund or prolix (Hey! Look 'em up!). It is probably the oldest symptom, appearing throughout history, and giving rise to the word archaic - meaning; old-fashioned or out-dated in style or idiom. For example, if Augustus Robustus was to wear a tartan toga to that weeks "christian/lion gig", his outfit would be archaic (not to mention remarkably stupid - increasing his chances of starting a new fashion) as well as being very difficult as the tartan pattern was invented many years later by the lesser known Earl of Tartan, second cousin to the Earl of Plaid.

Lastly, the obsession with material wealth is perhaps the most recent symptom to appear, and is probably an advanced stage of society's concept of fashion and idea of style. It involves the general public racing to obtain objects of no practical value that everyone else says they must have in order to survive. An experiment carried out to test this theory was devised by Prof. Colon, reknowned sociologist and marketing consultant for "BURLY BOB'S NEW AND USED SURGICAL EQUIPMENT". He proposed increasing that year's profits for Burly Bob and testing his theory of the public's blind devotion to material objects at the same time, by running a full page advertisement in an outstanding magazine that went something like "The Rectal Probe - A device for the modern socialite" - profits soared as the public raced out to buy one.

A classic example of the obsession with material wealth is the institutionalised portion of Los Angeles known as Beverley Hills. These particular individuals seem to be suffering the most when it comes to "O.W.M.W." (as modern, hipster Evaluators of Opinion (E.O.O.) and Society for Acronym Production (C.R.A.P.) members have called the obsession). The citizens of Beverley Hills all possess houses of enormous size, simply because society deems it necessary for them to have four bathrooms, five bedrooms, a drawing room, a narcotics division, a play room and a "hide in there, my husband's coming" room. It's a sad situation, but once you've initiated the disease, you're stuck with it.

In conclusion, a general warning. Wake up in the morning and take a damn good look at yourself and your life. Do you suffer from society's sickness? Do you wear makeup because the sickos demand you look perfect even though they believe that perfection is an illusion? Do you find yourself waiting for a particular television program because others have told you to watch it or you read a review that told you you couldn't live without it? Do you spread margarine or butter on your toast in the morning because you want that extra layer between toast and spread, becuase you believe that some toppings require domestic lubricant to pass through your gullet or because you've been told by the madness that it's necessary?

Watch out, the insanity of society is spread through the peer group, has a cure that sees you being locked away, ostracised or murdered, and is encouraged by regular doses of a foul catalyst known as THE MEDIA. Defend yourself against this affliction and remember the lost tablet that Moses was too tired to bring down, which held the last commandments of God:
11. Thou shalt ignore what thyself regards as unwise, even though your friend says it's pretty cool.
12. Thou shalt renounce Barry Manilow and all his works.
13. Thou shalt ignore fashion, style and material obsession and lead a fuller and more rewarding life.

THE END

Comment: "Complex ideas and vocab yet you become bogged down in your complexity and verbosity and hence your ideas become unclear and lacking coherence. Simplify it."

"The only Mr Men book I'm missing is Mr Nonsense. Somebody told me I could find it amongst The Musings of Dan"
or
"Please send your entries to The Lair of Dan; South Australian residents must include a tall, busty blonde with every entry."