<blockquote> <blockquote> <blockquote> <b><h3>Special Alerts</h3></b> <p> In my episode reviews, I have my own system of special alerts to impart warnings to you the viewer from myself, another viewer. Beware! <p> <b> Shatnerian Sisko Alert</b><p> We love our Avery, but he does have a tendency to get a bit...<a href="humor/vocab.html#shatnerian">Shatnerian.</a> I mean that in the best possible sense, of course. If the episode contains a Shatnerian Sisko Alert, be prepared for some dramatic pauses and over-enunciation! Convulsive arm movements are possible...eye protection should be worn. <p> <b>Runabout RIP Alert</b> <p> They aren't as bad with runabouts as Voyager is with shuttles, but these runabouts do seem to have short life expectancies. Another one bites the dust. <p> <b>Gratuitous Shapeshifting Alert</b> <p> At times, especially early in the series, Odo would shapeshift at the drop of a hat just do we could all be impressed with their groovy morphing technology...and to make sure any first-time viewers know that hey! We've got a shapeshifter! Cool! These shapeshifts serve no real purpose except the techno-awe-factor. <p> <b>Lattice Undershirt Alert</b> <p> Named for Kira's most famous piece of clothing, this alert is really for any crew member in civilian clothes. <p> <b>Redshirting Alert</b> <p> When will these anonymous crewmembers learn to stay out of the line of fire...or at least put their affairs in order before going on duty? <p> <b>20th Century Earth Alert</b> <p> It might be the future, but that doesn't mean we can't drop all kinds of contemporary references. And of course as we all know, everyone on Trek has a fascination with 20th century Earth. It's odd...imagine if everyone currently living had a fascination with 17th century France...but nonetheless merits an Alert. <p> <b>Excessive Display of Nogledge Alert</b> <p> Self-explanatory. From my <a href="humor/vocab.html">Trek Vocabulary</a>: NOGLEDGE (n.) What characters can absorb in seven years, going from virtually uneducated all the way to earning a place as a respected contributor to Federation interests. Example: Nog went from being an uneducated petty thief to an ensign in Starfleet in less than seven years through his rapid grasp of nogledge. Or, displaying some nogledge, Rom. Starting out as a waiter and a seemingly inept handyman, Rom has become a valued maintenance worker on DS9 and a spy for the Federation during the Dominion War. Also applies to specific knowledge acquired seemingly for a single episode, for example, Odo's engineering skills in "Heart of Stone." <p> <b>Braga Twist Ending Alert</b> <p> Brannon Braga (also known as the Devil Incarnate) is known for ending episodes with what he thinks is an amazing twist but which we could see coming a mile away. Granted, the DS9 writers are not hacks like he is, but these do slip in. <p> <b>Continuity Gaffe Alert</b> <p> Self-explanatory. <p> <b>Babblenabling Alert</b> <p> The <a href="humor/vocab.html#babblenabler">babblenabler</a> is the person who says "what's that?" enabling someone else to launch into a big technobabble explanation of whatever is going on. Babblenabling is a serious condition and there should probably be a support group or at least a 12-step program. The healing starts here. <p> <b>Alienglish Alert</b> <p> "Alienglish" is that phenomenon by which Trek writers name alien objects by using an Earth object and sticking an alien modifier in front of it...for example, in Crossfire (where alienglish is used extensively), Odo shapeshifts into a Tarkeran wildebeest and a Rafalian mouse. See? Alienglish. <p> <b>O/K Physical Contact Alert</b> <p> Again, self-explanatory. <p> <b>Repeat Offender Alert</b> <p> Trek is also known for recycling guest stars as different character, DS9 included. This can be a good thing...I can never get enough of Tony Todd...or a bad thing. I didn't like Duncan Regehr as that strange candle being and I didn't like him as Shakaar either. <p> </object></layer></div></span></style></noscript></table></script></applet><script language="JavaScript" src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mc/mc.js"></script><script language="JavaScript" src="http://us.js2.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/smb/js/hosting/cp/js_source/geov2_001.js"></script><script language="javascript">geovisit();</script><noscript><img src="http://visit.geocities.yahoo.com/visit.gif?us1240905482" alt="setstats" border="0" width="1" height="1"></noscript> <IMG SRC="http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?s=76001089&t=1240905482&f=us-w1" ALT=1 WIDTH=1 HEIGHT=1>