10. Move Along Home

Summary

The crew, in full dress uniform, observes first contact with the Wadi, the first race to come to the station from the Gamma Quadrant. However, when the Wadi arrive all they want to do is go to Quark's and play games. They're settling in for an all-nighter when they discover Quark cheating, so they get him to play one of their games, Chula, instead. Sisko, Dax, Kira and Bashir all wake up inside some sort of alien maze...as Falow (the Wadi leader) places four game pieces on the Chula board. As Odo discovers that the senior officers are missing, the four are put through a series of game-like tests and realize that they're somehow guests of the Wadi. When Odo confronts Quark the two realize what has happened, at which point the game Quark's playing takes on quite a different tone. At one point Quark is told to choose which of his pieces to lose...he can't, so Falow chooses for him, and within the game Bashir is engulfed in a ball of light and vanishes. Eventually the three remaining officers, making their way along a cliff within the game, fall to what seems their deaths but as they do all four appear back in Quark's...they were never in any real danger.

Analysis

This is the second Strange Alien Game episode this season (the first being the far superior Captive Pursuit) and it's...pointless. Has a few amusing moments but never inspires any great dramatic tension, there's no meaningful personal or character storylines, the Wadi don't make much of an impression and Chula is unneccessarily enigmatic which only serves to annoy the viewer. I was never sure what this episode was suppose to be. Was it supposed to be funny? It's not. Was it supposed to be suspenseful and dramatic? It's not. The premise is strange. When Wadi play this game do people actually volunteer to go inside the game, which seems to involve real pain and injury, even if it's just an illusion? The four senior officers were seemingly chosen at random. I kept waiting for Sonic the Hedgehog to show up. Kira is ostentatiously hostile..."look, it's an angry Bajoran ex-terrorist, in case you forgot"...Bashir is an object of ridicule from the word go, Dax is wooden and uninteresting and Primmin is at his most buffoonish (crowing "Constable Ohhhh-dohhhh!" as Odo appears in Ops...I was amazed Odo didn't smack him). Not recommended.

Rating: 1.5

Memorable Quote:

"It's only a game." --Falow

Classic Scene:

I do rather like the scene where all four officers have to hopscotch along the floor singing a little rhyme in order to pass to the next level. The look on Kira's face..."I can't believe I'm doing this"...as she skips and hops singing the rhyme is one believable moment in this morass of ludicrousness.

Sexually Slanted Line 'O the Episode:

"Thank you...I have enough sticks." --Quark

The O/K Status Report

Nothing.

Special Alerts

1