5. Babel

Summary

The harried Chief fixes the command-level replicators, not noticing that he's activated a small device inside. Soon afterwards, the Chief suddenly begins speaking in nonsense words and doesn't seem to understand anything that's said to him. Bashir explains that he's aphasic...his visual stimuli are being incorrectly connected to words by his brain...but he can't find any cause for it. Soon afterwards at a briefing, Dax becomes aphasic literally in mid-sentence and the virus begins to spread. It's traced to the food replicators but soon becomes airborne. A quarantine is put into effect, particularly to the aggravation of one Captain Jaheel who's desperate to leave before his cargo spoils. As more and more station personnel become aphasic and the Chief approaches death, Kira determines that the virus was engineered by a Bajoran underground geneticist named Dekon Elig, but he's dead. She locates his assistant, Dr. Surmak Ren, and goes to Bajor to shanghai him into helping them find an antidote. By now most of the station is stricken with the virus except Odo (who's of course immune) and Quark (thanks to the hardiness of the Ferengi constitution). When Sisko becomes aphasic too Odo is left in charge of Ops while Jaheel threatens to leave by force...his ship malfunctions and will blow up half the docking ring if Odo can't manually explode the docking clamps in time, pushing the ship away from the station before it explodes. Kira and Ren return to DS9 and take up the work Bashir had done on an antidote before becoming aphasic himself. Quark beams Odo to the docking ring and he successfully disengaged Jaheel's ship, and Ren find a vaccine for the virus. Station life returns to normal...except the replicators, which are still on the fritz.

Analysis

Sigh. Ok. Right after the stock Divided Loyalties plot and the stock Wrongfully Accused plot, now we're being served a big helping of the stock Mysterious Illness plot, and not a very imaginative derivation thereof. The whole Jaheel/station-in-jeopardy thing is completely meaningless and was included purely to provide some level of tension which the virus plot couldn't...as if there were any doubt the plague would be cured, anyway. Predictable, dull, pointless...a triple threat. Watching the crew walk around spouting gibberish is amusing for about two seconds, then it's just annoying...to quote Doug MacKenzie, "it was funny at first, now it just bugs me." Much like this episode.

Rating: 1.5

Memorable Quote:

Odo: You said your brother Rom fixed your replicator?
Quark: That's right.
Odo: Rom's an idiot. He couldn't fix a straw if it was bent.

Captain Jaheel: Dog...fellow...distance...
Odo: (dragging Jaheel away from burning wreckage) Yeah, tell me about it.

Classic Scene:

Seeing Quark in charge of Ops is an exercise in cognitive dissonance...as is Odo's expression when he has to trust Quark to beam him to the docking ring with all his parts still attached.

Sexually Slanted Line 'O the Episode:

"Aren't you the least bit curious as to how it tastes?" --Asoth...I know, I'm evil and I must be destroyed.

The O/K Status Report

Nuthin.

Special Alerts

1