a short DS9 fanfiction by Lori Summers
Shakaar Edon had rearranged all the PADDs on his desk in chronological, then alphabetical order; organized all his styli by height, updated his personal calendar for the next three months, made about six unnecessary communications and checked the time with his secretary four times. These urgent tasks accomplished and no more having presented themselves, he was now reduced to sitting in his office chair and drumming his fingers on the desktop, chewing on a thumbnail.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this jumpy. Mounting that surprise attack on the Cardassian weapons storage facility in Rakaora, perhaps. At least that had been logical, this wasn't.
He jumped about a foot when his door chime sounded. "Minister, Major Kira is here to see you," his secretary said over the comm, a note of amused smugness clear in her voice. He ignored it.
"Send her in."
The door opened and she breezed into the room, her face aglow with that blinding smile, her bag still over her shoulder. It looked like she'd come here right from the transport station. "Edon!" she said, coming to grasp his hand and place a friendly kiss on his cheek. Shakaar smiled back, trying to keep his manner casual as if his heart wasn't leaping in his chest.
"Hello, Nerys. You're looking well."
"You too! Things must be going smoothly, you actually look like you're getting enough sleep," she said, plopping herself into one of the chairs facing his desk and letting her bag fall to the floor.
He sat down and spread his hands in agreement. "Things are going as well as could be expected, I suppose. There's always some new crisis that can't possibly wait."
"I sympathize," she said with a grin, reaching into her case to withdraw a few PADDs. "Now, you wanted to discuss these new policies of..."
He held up a hand to stop her. "Yes, I do want to discuss those new policies, but not right now. You look like you haven't even been to your quarters yet! It's a long trip, you must be tired."
She shrugged. "I'm all right...besides, when you called you sounded like you were in a hurry to get this cleared up."
"It can wait." He harrumphed and bolstered his resolve. "I thought...we could discuss this business...over dinner," he finished, chancing a brief glance at her face from under lowered eyelids.
Her smile broadened slightly. "All right," she said, mystified. "That'd be very nice."
Shakaar relaxed minutely. So far, so good. "I've um...I've missed seeing you, Nerys. I've really been looking forward to um, to spending some time with you." He cleared his throat. Smooth, Edon, real smooth.
Nerys nodded slowly, the light beginning to dawn. She restrained the urge to laugh. She didn't think she'd ever seen Edon quite so uncomfortable, and she had no wish to trod on his feelings. They had parted on amiable terms and she still valued his friendship. "I appreciate that, but if I'm hearing what I think I'm hearing..." She paused, hoping he'd jump in. He just sat there, watching her expectantly. All right, then. "I'm sorry, I thought you would have heard by now."
"Heard what?" he said, his face blank.
"Well, that I'm...I'm with someone, Edon." She smiled gently at him, again having to hold herself back from laughing as his face fell in an almost comic display of disappointment.
"Oh, I see," he said in a small voice. He forced a phony smile. "Is it serious?" he asked, a note of hope creeping into the question. Kira pretended she didn't notice it.
"Yes."
He nodded. He appeared to be wavering between several manners of response, none of which were particuarly appealing. Finally he just chuckled and shook his head ruefully. "Oh, Nerys, I feel like such a fool."
"Oh no! You shouldn't, not at all!" she said, leaning forward. "I'm flattered, really. And I shouldn't have assumed that you knew, it's just that it seems everyone else does."
He leaned forward, his elbows on the desk, his air of discomfort evaporating as he became once again her old platonic friend. Nerys fought back the strong sense of deja vu that washed over her...how many times had poor Odo been on the unpleasant end of conversations like this one? "So who's the lucky fellow? Anyone I know?"
"Yesss....you know him," Kira said slowly, wondering how he'd react.
"Don't keep me in suspense! Who is it?"
"I'm with Odo, Edon. For several months now."
His shoulders sagged. "I had a feeling you were going to say that, but I was hoping I was wrong."
"Why is that?" she said.
"Because of all the men you could choose, he's the only one I can think of with whom I couldn't possibly hope to compete," he said with a wry smile.
Kira blushed a little. "Competition isn't an issue, Edon."
He watched her for a moment. "You really love him, then?"
"Yes, I do," she said quietly, a private little smile on her face. Edon just looked at her. She sat back, stiffening. "You seem surprised." She was bracing for disbelief, even disgust. So far, she and Odo had not encountered any significant xenophobia about their relationship that they were aware of...but they were both still half-waiting for provincialism to rear its ugly head.
"Actually, I'm not surprised at all. I know how much you always thought of him and what a good friend he was to you."
"He still is."
"Of course." He sighed and stood up. "Well, now that you've dashed one of my plans for the evening, does the other one still have a chance for success? Will you still have dinner with me?"
She rose as well, grinning. "Of course, it'd be my pleasure. I would like to stop by my quarters first, though. I need to freshen up and I should call Odo."
Edon frowned. "He wants you to call him when you travel? That's rather paranoid, isn't it?" he said, fully aware that Nerys would not look kindly upon such overprotectiveness in a relationship.
She shook her head, chuckling. "Now, now...such catty remarks hardly befit a man of your stature. I'll have you know that he did not ask me to call him but I'm going to because I know he'll appreciate it. It's not an obligation, it's a courtesy. Besides, I want to talk to him. Satisfied?"
He nodded. "You're right, I'm sorry. Go ahead, Sarish will show you to your quarters. Shall we say 1900 for dinner?"
"It's a date. Figuratively speaking, of course," she added, picking up her bag. Shakaar watched her go and thumped back down into his chair, dejected. Oh well.
His eyes wandered, of their own volition, to the console in the corner of his office. I could...no, don't even think about it. Oh, what harm would it do? Come on, Edon, she'd kill you. But she's not going to find out, is she? I can't believe you're considering it, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
He was ashamed of himself. He was ashamed as he stood up and went to the console, ashamed as he input his personal security clearance, and ashamed when he patched into the security surveillance in the guest quarters...and even more ashamed when he carefully refocused the sensor onto the communications console and waited.
-----
A moment later he saw her enter the quarters, letting her bag fall carelessly to the floor as she headed straight for the console and sat down. Hating himself but unable to stop, Edon zoomed in and adjusted the angle so he could see both her face and the screen. He watched as she placed the call, which was answered almost immediately. Odo's face appeared on the monitor. His warm, loving expression, as well as its mirror image on Nerys' face, made Edon's heart sink even further.
"Nerys, you didn't have to call me when you got there," he said reprovingly.
"I know that. I wanted to, silly. Don't tell me that you wouldn't worry if I didn't."
"You're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself." He smiled. "How was the trip?"
"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary."
"Have you seen the First Minister yet?"
"Yes, I went to see him right from the transport station. I'm supposed to meet him for dinner in an hour or so." She hesitated. "Odo...he didn't know about us."
The shapeshifter harrumphed. "I'm astounded. I was sure that between Dax and Quark the entire quadrant knew."
She laughed, then sobered. "The thing is, I think he asked me here partially because, well..."
"What?"
"He wanted to try and get back together with me."
Shakaar could see Odo's expression fill with tension even through two camera lenses. "I see."
"Odo, don't be like that. I told him in no uncertain terms that I am unavailable."
Odo attempted to brush off his initial reaction. "Well, I certainly hope so!" Nerys wasn't fooled.
"Please tell me you're not jealous. You know how I feel about you."
He sighed. "I suppose I'm a little jealous. You've known him longer than me, you were with him longer than me...he's Bajoran..."
"What is that supposed to mean?" she exclaimed. "That's not important." She fixed her lover...Shakaar winced as the word flitted through his mind...with a stern but loving gaze. "Odo, Shakaar and I are just friends."
He looked back at her. "That's what you used to say about us."
"Oh, but it's different."
"How so?"
She thought for a moment. "Edon and I were always friends, and that's all we ever really were, but we convinced ourselves, for a while, that we were in love." She raised a hand and traced her finger down the image of his cheek. "I think that you and I, in some part of our hearts, were always in love...but we convinced ourselves we were just friends."
Shakaar sighed. He knew she was probably right, but that didn't make it any less depressing. By the expression on Odo's face, the changeling was experiencing some emotional level previously unknown in the universe. "Nerys...hearing you say that, it's..." He trailed off.
She grinned. "What?"
"It's almost enough to make me believe in the Prophets."
"Almost?" she teased him, though his words made her heart swell.
He shrugged off his seriousness. "Well, when one is considered by some to be a god oneself, it's hard to admit the existence of equals, you know. We supreme beings are a very exclusive club." He raised a nonexistent eyebrow. "Just don't try and drag me to the Kendis shrine."
She shook her head. "Don't worry, I won't. No need."
He blinked, puzzled. "What does that mean?"
"Bareil had a theory about the shrine, one that I've come to agree with. He said that the Prophets would wish us to choose our own heart's path, and that the shrine was a sort of mirror. It shows you what is truly in your heart. You know, the shrine gives far more negative responses than positive ones. Antos thought that was because if you didn't already have some doubt about your relationship, there'd be no need to ask the question."
"Are you saying there's no need for us to ask the question?"
"I'm saying I don't need to be told who I belong with...not anymore." They smiled at each other, their eyes locked in the kind of dreamy, gooey, all-encompassing gaze that made the rest of the world cease to exist...and made any unheeded observers roll their eyes and chuckle. Edon wasn't laughing.
"How long are you staying?" Odo asked, propping his chin on one hand, staring raptly at her through the comm channel.
"No longer than absolutely necessary," she replied languidly, appearing just as entranced as he. "If I could beam myself back right now I'd do it." They sighed in unison. Shakaar attempted a derisive snort despite the fact that he was purely pea-green with jealousy. All he succeeded in doing was swallowing wrong and throwing himself into a coughing fit. "We gotta stop doing this," Nerys was saying.
"Doing what?"
"Every time one of us goes away and we talk over subspace we always get so emotional. I end up climbing the walls because I want you so badly and you're so far away."
He nodded. "I know exactly what you mean. Consider yourself lucky. For me, 'climbing the walls' isn't just a figure of speech."
"I better go," she said after a moment, making no move to sever the connection.
"Come back as soon as you can."
"My business with Edon shouldn't take very long. I'll be on the first transport out tomorrow."
"Good." He paused. "I love you, Nerys."
"I love you, too. Good night."
"Good night." The screen went dark. Shakaar watched as she sat there for another moment staring at it. She sighed and stood up to retrieve her bag.
Edon turned away from the monitor, feeling lower than a Denebian slime devil. Are you satisfied? You spied on a private conversation just to prove to yourself what you never should have doubted in the first place. When have you known Nerys to be less than forthcoming, especially about her emotions? She wears them on her sleeve in plain view! You should have known better.
He went back to his desk. She loves him, he thought. Not me. He turned the thought over in his mind a few times and discovered it wasn't as bad as it seemed. He was a good man, her Odo. Shakaar had always liked him. If their conversation had been any indicator, he made her very happy...and that, at least, was something he could smile about.
THE END