The Curse of Monkey Island

The Curse of Monkey Island (Mega Monkey)

This is a complete solution to the Mega Monkey version of The Curse of Monkey Island. The solution is split into 6 parts, corresponding to the 6 parts of the game. For part 3 a table of the insults is given, for the normal pirates as well as for Captain Rottingham.

Solution to the easy version
Part 1 Part 2	Part 3 Part 4	Part 5 Part 6

Part 1: The Demise of the Zombie Pirate LeChuck

Talk to the small pirate, who will drop his hook at the end of the conversation.
Take the hook and the ramrod, which is on the back wall.
Use the hook with the ramrod to make a gaff.
Use the cannon to shoot the pirates in their boats.
Lean out the window and use gaff to pick up the debris.
Use the cutlass that was on the end of the arm with the cannon restraint rope.
Use the cannon.
Pick up the bag of wooden nickels, followed by the ring.
Use the diamond ring to cut the glass in the porthole.

Part 2: The Curse gets Worse

Take glowing ember from the smouldering boat and then go to the swamp.
Go into the wrecked ship and take the pin and the paste.
Use the wooden nickels with the gum machine to get some gum.
Pull the alligator's tongue and talk to the voodoo woman.
She tells you that you need a map, ship, and crew to go to Blood Island.

Crew
Go to the town and enter the theatre via the side entrance.
Examine the coat and take the dandruff (which turns out to be lice) and the wand.
Open the pocket of the coat and take the glove.
Use the wand with the hat and take the ventriloquism book that appears.
Go to the Barbery Coast and push Cut-throat Bill (the salty pirate) twice. Take the jawbreaker from the floor.
Use the lice with the comb when Haggis (the barber pirate) puts it down.
Talk to Haggis, and ask him for a haircut.
Use the handle once, and then take the paperweight.
When Haggis has gone, use the handle until the chair is high enough to get the scissors. Take the scissors.
Use the glove with Edward Van Helgen.
Shut the gun case and choose the banjo case.
Remember what Van Helgen plays and repeat it exactly.
Take a pistol and use it to shoot Van Helgen's banjo.
Go to the left side of town and use the scissors on the undergrowth.
When eaten by the snake, pick up all of the stuff in the bulge.
Use the syrup with the ipecac flower to make syrup of ipecac.
Use this syrup of ipecac with the snake's head.
Take a thorn from the thorny plant, and a reed.
Use the thorn with the reed, and the paperweight with a helium balloon.
Blow the floating balloon, and then use the pea shooter with it.
Go back to Puerto Pollo and enter the chicken shop. You picked up a reservation slip from inside the snake.
Take a biscuit and eat it. Use the maggots with the rotting chicken.
Push the quiet patron and take the protruding bread knife, followed by the clubcard.
Take the pie pan and biscuit cutter.
Give the jawbreaker to Blondebeard, followed by some gum.
Use the pin with bubble he blows, and then take his tooth.
Chew some gum yourself and put the gold tooth in the chewed gum.
Inhale some helium and chew the tooth and gum.
Once outside use the pie pan with the mud puddle.
Go to the top of the town and onto the grassy knoll.
Use the bread knife with the sawhorse, then use the glowing ember with the trail of rum.
Use the biscuit cutter with "another rubber tree" back at the top of the town.
Give Cut-throat Bill the gold tooth at the Barbery Coast.
Talk to Haggis, ask him to join the crew and accept his challenge.

Map
Go to the beach and give the clubcard to the cabaña boy.
Take a towel, put it in the ice bucket and use it with the cabaña boy.
Take the cooking oil.
Take two more towels and wet them in the ice bucket.
Go to the beach and use the wet towels with the hot sand.
Walk across the towels and take the mug from Palido's stomach.
Go to Kenny (the lemonade seller) and use your mug with his bottomless mug.
Talk to Kenny and buy some lemonade from him.
Take his pitcher and fill it with red dye from the nearby vats.
Go to the beach and use the bottomless mug with Palido.
Use the pitcher with the bottomless mug and use the oil with the map on his back.
Take the map.

Ship (and Elaine)
Go to Danjer Cove and use the paste with the rubber plug.
Use the sticky rubber plug with the gaping hole in the boat, then use the boat.
Before going aboard the pirate ship use the bread knife to cut the plank.
Go aboard and get tarred and feathered.
Go to the chicken shop.
Use the ventriloquism book with LeChimp,
Open the porthole, and leave through it.
Go to the theatre and up the stairs. Pull the handle and then press the buttons in the sequence shown on the treasure map.
Use the chicken grease with the cannon balls.
Pick up the shovel.

Part 3: Three Sheets to the Wind

Insult	Reply	Rottingham's Insult
Every enemy I've met I've annihilated!	With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.	My attacks have left entire islands depopulated!
You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligée.	I look THAT much like your fiancée?	You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei.
Killing you would be justifiable homicide!	Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.	When I'm done your body will be rotted and putrefied!
You're the ugliest monster ever created!	If you don't count all the ones you've dated.	Your looks would make pigs nauseated.
When your father first saw you he must have been mortified.	At least mine can be identified.	You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified!
I'll skewer you like a sow at a buffet!	When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet.	Your lips look like they belong on the catch of the day!
I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated.	Your odour alone makes me aggravated, agitated and infuriated.	I can't tell which of my traits has you most intimidated!
En garde! Touché!	Oh, that is so cliché!	Your mother wears a toupee!
I've never seen such clumsy swordplay.	You would have, but you were always running away.	I have never lost a mêlée!
I'll hound you night and day!	Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!	You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey!
You can't match my witty repartee!	I could, if you would use some breath spray.	Nothing can stop me from blowing you away!
Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died!	The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.	Nothing on this Earth can save your sorry hide!
Would you like to be buried or cremated?	With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.	I'll give you a choice, you can be gutted or decapitated!
I can't rest 'til you've been exterminated!	Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.	Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated!
Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated.	Too bad they're all fabricated.	My skills with a sword are highly venerated.
Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified!	Is that your face? I thought it was your backside!	Never before have I faced someone so sissified.

Part 4: The Bartender, the Thieves, his Aunt and her Lover

Take the bottle from the sand and bite it to take the cork out.
Go to the Goodsoup family hotel and take the recipe book.
Talk to Madame Xima (the fortune teller) and get her to give you a tarot reading.
Get her to give you five readings in all, then take the five cards.
The bartender has a hangover, so you need to make a cure. The recipe is in the book.
Take the cushion from the barstool that's furthest to the left.
Go to the far end of the graveyard and take the mallet and chisel.
Give the half eaten maggoty biscuit to the old dog and take the smelly dog hair from his back.
Go to the windmill and take a pepper from the plant by the base of the mill.
At the beach put the cushion on the rocks and hit the rubber tree with the mallet.
At the hotel give the hair, pepper and egg to the bartender.
Ask the bartender for a drink with an umbrella in it and take the jar from the bar.
Use the chisel with the bottle of Head-B-Clear, and use the Head-B-Clear with the drink.
Use the chisel with the coffin on the bottom right of the screen.
Take the nails from the edge of the coffin, then use the chisel with the central coffin.
Go back to the hotel and go upstairs. In the first room use the mallet on the nail that's in the wall.
Exit the room and take the nail from the floor of the corridor. Take the portrait.
Use the laminated business card on the second door and open it.
Go into the second bedroom and pull the bed from the wall.
Use the coffin nails with the bed, followed by the single nail.
Take the book from the corpse, which turns out to be a history of the Goodsoups.
Use the scissors on the portrait. Take the mirror from behind Goodsoup and replace it with the face.
Use the portrait on the door upstairs and then open it. Look through the porthole.
Talk to the bartender and convince him that you are a Goodsoup.
Order a drink, spike it with Head-B-Clear and drink it as before.
Take the crowbar from the far end of the crypt and look through the crack.
Take Murray when he pounces on you, and then look through the crack.
Use the paste with the skeleton arm.
Use the skeleton arm with the lantern, and then use Murray with the lantern.
Go through the door at the back of the bar in the hotel.
Take the death certificate and fridge magnet, and use the chisel on the cheese.
Go to bedroom with the corpse in it and use crowbar with the boarded hole.
Use the crowbar with the bed and take the engagement band from the floor.
Go back to the crypt where you left Stan, and buy some insurance from him.
When he asks about your collateral, give him the gold tooth.
Give the death certificate to Stan to claim a lot of money.
At the windmill use the umbrella with the windmill blades and then the empty jar with the barrel.
Go to the clearing and use the jar of water with the stump.
Use the chisel with the jar lid and use the jar lid with the jar.
Take it to the lighthouse, and use it with the lantern post. Use the mirror with the broken mirror.
Go to the village at the top of the volcano (the strange lights).
Take the block of tofu and the measuring cup.
Use the chisel with the block of tofu.
Continue up the mountain, and use the tofu mask.
Use the cheese with the massive, seething caldera (lava).
At the beach, use the pin with the cork, and use this with the magnet.
Use the measuring cup with the seawater and then use the pin and cork with the cup.
Talk to the mysterious figure, who takes you to Skull Island.
Talk to the winch operator and ask him to lower you to the cave.
Use the umbrella while falling, and then play poker for the diamond.
Give the tarot cards to King André.
Back at Blood Island talk to Haggis about the hand lotion.
Put the cheese in the cooking pot on the barbecue outside the hotel.
Pick up the cooking pot.
Go to the clearing and use the hand lotion with the ring on Elaine's hand.
Use the diamond with the engagement band.
Pull the ring from Elaine's hand and replace it with the new ring.

Part 5: Kiss of the Spider Monkey

Open the door of the cable car.
Talk to Dinghy Dog, ask him to guess your age, and then choose the anchor as your prize.
Use the shaving foam with the pie pan, then use the anchor with it.
Use the fake pie with the pile of meringue pies.
Open the gate and look through the hole, to get the (egg filled) meringue.
Push Dinghy Dog six times to get the hair of the dog that bit you.
Take the pepper mill from the ice cream stall and talk to the soda jerk to get a snow cone.
Use the meringue, hair and pepper with the snow cone and then eat it.

Part 6: Guybrush Kicks Butt Once Again

Get off at the first stop and take the fallen rope.
Get in a carriage and get off at the next stop.
Take a keg o' rum.
Take the train to the next stop.
Open the lantern and blow the flask o' oil before taking it.
Take the train to the next stop.
Walk up to the giant snow monkey.
Use the keg o' rum with the Dynamo-Monkelectric Giant Snow Monkey arm.
Use the oil with the rope, and then use the rope with the keg o' rum.
Walk back down to the train tracks and wait for LeChuck.
As LeChuck is about to flame you, use the pepper mill with LeChuck.