Rifts Humor
REAL MEN, REAL ROLEPLAYERS, LOONIES AND MUNCHKINS -Rifts Edition
A great Rifts humor page here.

Favourite OCC or RCC:


Real Men: Play Borgs, Power Armor Pilots, and Juicers

Real Role-players: Play Rogue Scientists, City Rats and Cyber-Knight.

Loonies: Play Crazies and Shapers.

Munchkins: Play whatever has the most MDC  (usually an Apok/Juicer/Cosmo-Knight/Glitter Boy combination).


Favourite non-weapon skill:

Real Men: Take boxing, for the extra attack.

Real Role-players: Take science or language skills.

Loonies: Take engineering and chemistry for their practical joke value.


Munchkins: Don't understand why skills not associated with weapons are important.


Favourite weapon:

Real Men: Use rail guns and missile launchers.

Real Role-players: Use longbows and neural maces.

Loonies: Use Nerf weapons.

Munchkins: Use a mini-gun made out of six Boom Guns custom fit with ACME™ recoil suppressors.


Favourite body armour:

Real Men: Prefer power armor or exoskeletons.

Real Role-players: Wear Triax "plain clothes" armor.

Loonies: Wrap themselves in toilet paper.

Munchkins: Wear the Invulnerable Coat of Arnd plus a never-needs recharging Naruni forcefield with 250,000 MDC.





Favourite power armor:

Real Men: Wear anything that gives them enough PS to carry around real weapons or has its own B.F.G.

Real Role-players: Hide behind the Real Men :)

Loonies: Use anything with reactive armor. 

Munchkins: Don't use anything with under 1,000 MDC.




Favourite robotic vehicle:

Real Men: Prefer Coalition bots (for the look), or the Triax Devastator (for the firepower).

Real Role-players:  Prefer Behemoth explorers (with lots of space for keepsakes and research).

Loonies: Still prefer anything with reactive armor

Munchkins: Use the Death Star.


Favourite cyberware:

Real Men: Like bionic limbs and/or bionic reconstruction

Real Role-players: Choose fingerjacks or translators

Loonies: Like plastic vampire teeth and fake blood

Munchkins: Take whetever will give them the most MDC & bonuses (ie: Amplified hearing)


When cornered in a firefight:

Real men:
  Smile and keep on shooting.

Real Role-players: Negotiate with their attackers.

Loonies: Feign death.

Munchkins: Rift in 50 adult dragons and hundred-handed.  


Find employment as:

Real Men: Bodyguards and mercenaries.

Real Role-players: Spies and scholars.

Loonies: Head of Coalition-Atlantis relations office.

Munchkins: Depose Splynn and take over the Megaverse.


Favourite place:

Real Men: Germany, for the constant battles.

Real Role-players: Wormwood, for the new culture.

Loonies: The bathtub, for undersea adventures.

Munchkins: Like to go where they can get the most credits.


Favourite Spell:

Real Men: Don't play spellcasters, but like Superhuman Strength.

Real Role-players: Like anything associated with communication.

Loonies: Use Blinding Flash so as to conserve their camera batteries.


Munchkins: Wish there were as many spells as Dungeons and Dragons.


Favourite psionic power:

Real Men: Love Sixth Sense and Mind Block.

Real Role-players: Prefer Object Read and Empathy.

Loonies: Like Hydrokinesis so they can sense open water within a 20' radius.

Munchkins: Have them all at first level.



brought to you by:

Joseph Delisle - jd@CLARK.NET

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