Author's note: I don't know how much this really sounds like Yuna, but this is meant to be told from her point-of-view. This takes place directly after the episode Aurora and contains spoilers for such. So if you haven't seen it, and you don't like surprises, you might wanna bail now... I'm hoping that I've characterized Reb & Yuna correctly - well, their mannerisms, anyway. I doubt the writers of MG would have Reb doing quite what he does, and if they're planning on it, it certainly would not be happening at this point in the series. (No, I haven't seen any upcoming scripts, so if this does happen in an upcoming episode, which I'm kinda hoping for, it'd be complete coincidence...I have no affiliation whatsoever to MG, although I'd like to... ::g::)
Disclaimer [off the disclaimer page]: Reb Anderson, Cdr. Bren Stewart, Lise and Yuna are copyrighted by, um, whoever owns the rights to "Deepwater Black: Mission Genesis". I think it's a combination of Empire Entertainment & SFC/YTV, but I don't know.
I can't believe this. I'm forced to wait here, wondering what the hell is going on. We had to pick up that signal, right? It wasn't even a distress signal! What was Reb making such a big deal over?
Damn him. He starts giving me hints that something more may be between us. I certainly had hoped so, especially after what the older Reb said when we found _Deepwater_ I. Then when he kissed me after our encounter with Kyra Megantic. Who knows if he really meant it or not.
But then, that call came in from that colony. Why did he have to go there? What did this woman really mean to him? He certainly made it appear as if he felt something for her.
Wouldn't it just be a shadow of the way he was? Wouldn't those feelings have been a part of his donor's past? Why would they be haunting him so much? Sure, Phoenix may have been a substitute for Earth if not for the gamma rays. Why was he so insistent, though? Why should we be forced to work ourselves ten times as hard just to survive on a planet that would kill us when we know that there is one that will sustain human life without gene modification.
Oh, yeah. I really needed someone to knock at the hatch right now. "Come in," I call and turn towards the window. I don't even bother to turn around. Why should I? I really don't feel like being disturbed right now. I don't turn around until the person clears their throat. It's Reb.
I don't know what to say to him right now. I don't know if there's anything I can say. So I just stand there, my hands clasped behind my back, waiting for him to say something. He looks like he's hiding something behind his back.
"Yuna," he finally started, "can we talk?"
"Sure. Talk," I say, realizing that I probably sound a little cold right about now.
"I, um, saw the expression on your face when Aurora and I...I know that it's hard, but. . . I don't quite understand it myself..." Reb finally breaks off, running one hand through his hair. "I don't even know what to say right now."
"About what?" The second he mentioned Aurora, I had an idea what he was going to say. I just wanted to hear him admit it.
"Aurora. Phoenix. That whole thing that just happened back there." Reb's starting to look a little uncomfortable.
"What about it?" I can't help backing away just a little and standing at near-attention, almost like Bren always does.
"I, uh, realized something while I was there."
Oh, great. Now I've gotta hear about how in love he is with this Aurora woman? I've gotta hear about how much she meant to his donor and now how much she means to him?
"...you, Yuna." Reb's voice broke through my thoughts, but I didn't hear all of what he said.
"What did you just say?" I could swear that the normally calm, collected Reb Anderson was losing his cool and turning a bright red.
"I think I love you, Yuna," he whispers in a voice almost inaudible to the human ear. His voice gets stronger as he continues. "I've had a lot to think about since I first saw Aurora on Phoenix. She and I -- our donors -- were very close once. Those feelings were passed down to us, the clones, though not as strongly in my case, I suppose."
Could he be saying what I think he's saying? Am I hearing him right? He was only testing the old waters to see if he still -- if he really had the same feelings that his donor did?
"Things have changed for me, though, Yuna. In a way, we're much like the children of Phoenix, but still very different."
"How so?" I wonder aloud. "The only similarity I see is in the fact that we're clones of an original. Carbon copies of the real thing."
"Yes, but each with our differences," Reb interjects. "They will come into life creating all new memories for themselves, just as our donors did. They'll be starting from the very origin."
"So where are the similarities? C'mon, Reb. How could we, with our fragmented and jumbled memories, be anything like them?" My annoyance is slowly mounting. What the hell is he getting at?
"Exactly. Think about it. The implanted memory leaves us with so much. We have the life experiences of our donors, yet like those children, have the ability to take our lives further with each new experience and each new memory."
"What does this have to do with you and Aurora?" There. I said it. I had to ask now or I'd never be able to do it.
"Aurora...was a part of my past. My donor's past. She's a part of my fragmented memory that I'm still trying to regain -- that we're all searching for. But I've had so many new experiences here on _Deepwater_. So many experiences that have made me look at things differently than my donor would have, had Pandora not come along."
"Reb," I break in. "What's your point?"
"My point is that maybe I did love Aurora, once. But I don't now."
"Well, thanks for sharing this revelation with me..."
Reb cut me off by taking my hand in his and startling me. "I couldn't stay on Phoenix. There was a time when I would've gone back to her in a heartbeat..."
"Your donor would." I quickly interjected.
"Where my donor would've gone with Aurora in a heartbeat and not even have thought twice about it. But I can't do that now. Not after my experiences here on _Deepwater_." He finally takes his other hand from behind his back and holds out a beautiful white flower.
"Reb, what...?"
He silences me again, this time with a look that says he still has more to tell me. So I stand quietly in front of him, his one hand still holding mine.
"I know that I have some pretty strong feelings for you, Yuna, but I don't want to push things and call it by a name which it may not be. You and I have already been through so much together since our premature awakenings that I feel a connection to you - much stronger than the one I ever had with Aurora. Looking into her eyes only made me think of you. I couldn't understand if my feelings for her were genuine, or if they were inbred from my donor. But with you, there are no such feelings. Our donors never met so there was no pre-established bond to work through, no uncomfortable formalities to deal with. My only problem now is to put a name to what I do feel for you."
"Why do you have to?" I interject, startling him. "Why must everything be set and laid out in front of us?
He let go of my hand and stood in front of the dresser. He placed the flower on top of it, then placed both his hands on it as well. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"All I'm asking is why you have to put a name to your feeling. Why can't you let things happen as they come and not stop to worry about attaching a name to it?"
"Because without it, I just feel so..."
"Disorganized? Lost?" I supplied. "We're all going through this now. We're all trying to figure out who we are and where we're headed. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. Maybe having Kyra on board helped to jumpstart our explorations into ourselves. It's the 'struggle of time' as Gret has put it. Most people strive to discover who they are and find their place in the world when they're fairly young adults, just as we are. We're only following through with the normal passage of time just as our donors before us and their ancestors before them. It's the great 'circle of life'. I guess it's something we're all destined to deal with - clones or not."
Reb turns to look at me, smiling. "I suppose you're right. I'm only trying to rush things here, aren't I?" Seeing my nod, he continues. "Why rush it, though, right? Time's led the human race this far through the troublesome maze of feeling and emotion. What's to say that it won't keep that honored tradition?"
"Exactly." I answer, returning Reb's smile. He moves closer to me and we hug. I guess we've both got a lot to learn about ourselves and each other.
