"My farmer milked me today... It felt pretty good."
Welcome. I thank thee for gracing our humble site with thy presence. I am disappointed, however, for thou didst not bring with thee a sacred bag of chocolate chip cookies to be offered to the great and powerful Oz. This merits punishment. Please submit thy blood type and opinion of those gleefully adorable Toreador (go bathroom on the floor) with one of the four electronic methods provided below so that we can determine the appropriate measure of punishment. I must needs remind thee, next time,
~Robert Larson, Archon of the Malkavians, Justicar of the Malkavians, former Primogen of Denver, Deposer of Princes, Sacker of Groceries, Bane of the Rajah, Defender of Mirth, Pawn of the Celestial Chess Game, Puller of Faces, Associate of the Bastet, Attractor of Wyrm Stench, Thorn in the Technocracy's Side, Sire of GothGirl, Seeker of Hellraiser Boxes, Thwarter of Destiny, Loose Cannon of Chronicles, Inmate #980107, Looser of the Demon of the Apocalypse (I had help), Trespasser of Eden, Picker of the Apple of Life, Chief Executive Officer of the Robert Larson Foundation, President of the Harold of the Sun Corporation and Knower of More Than He Should Know(and King of Spain, whether they believe me or not)
We have but few things to offer for your entertainment, but we present the following few things that we have to offer for your entertainment: You said your redundancy was under control! SHUT UP!!
First, we have several exhibits available for exhibition for the next few generations *snicker*. They are:
A redesigned discipline that hints at plagiarism but is aimed for our more enlightened Kindred... Variations on a Theme by Tzimisce. Enjoy!
One of the greatest mysteries in all of Kindreddom has finally been deciphered and made available to the average layvampire...GOLCONDA. Oh my!
A newly developed discipline that is totally original and is geared for the Malk with so many pranks and so little time...Wee Folk. Think of the possibilties!
The very apotheosis of the Malkavian world view...The Blind Bats and the Elephant. Currently on loan from the Powers That Be at White Wolf.
By simply clicking on the one of the links below, any message you desire will magically appear on my crystal ball (which just happens to be somewhat of an off-beige color and square) by my trusty husky blue-smoky genie servant guy.