My Review of last weeks episode

Retrospect - I didn't like this episode much.  It certainly wasn't the way they tried to promote it to be.



Seven recalls memories of being 'violated'.  This means that she remembered someone taking borg nanoprobes from her while she was held down.  She accuses this guy.  He ends up killing himself right after they find out that it really wasn't Sevens memories that she had recalled.  I don't know where they were trying to go with this episode but I could see how a lot of people might get offended by this episode.

Prey - I really loved this episode.



The Hirogen capture a left over Species 8472 but it escapes and injures them.  Voyager comes across their ship and sends an away team over to the ship. Seven objected to this.  Tom got to go on the away team. <Yeah!>  The away team finds the injured Hirogen and takes him back to Voyager.  Species 8472 attacks the ship and everyone in engineering except Seven.  Everyone starts tracking the Species 8472.  Tom shows his brilliant sense of humor. When they meet up with the alien, everyone starts shooting.  Tom gets shot. <I can't complain really, considering he used to get hurt all the time and hasn't really been hurt lately.>  Tuvok gets in touch with the alien Species 8472 telepathically and finds out that it just wants to go home.  Reminds me of a Steven Spielberg movie I saw a long time ago.  Seven refuses to help Janeway get Species 8472 home so Janeway confines her to the cargo bay. A bunch of Hirogen ships approach and want the Hirogen and Species 8472 but Janeway refuses to give them the Species 8472.  The ships fight.  Voyager is losing.  Janeway asks Seven to go to deck 11 and bring some borg nanoprobes so they can sedate the Species 8472.  She does this but when she gets there, the Hirogen shows up also.  He escaped from a brig with a force field and two security officers.  They just don't train those security dudes like they used to.  Maybe they should call up Jerry Springer and see if they could borrow those dudes for a while <I'm a big Steve fan.> Species 8472 escapes and fights with the Hirogen.  Seven then transports them both to one of the Hirogen ships.  The Hirogen ships leave.  Janeway then tells Seven that she will be denied some priveledges and if she wants she can just stay in the cargo bay for the rest of the trip.  Seven is allowed to work in the astrometrics lab if she wants but if she messes up she will be put in the brig for the rest of the trip.  Seven then acts like a scolded spoiled child and tells Janeway that she was only ascerting her individuality.

The Hunters - I don't know why they named it this because it certainly ended up being the subplot of the show.  Letters from Home would have been much better.



Voyager receives a message from starfleet but it gets lodged in the Hirogen's relay station so they have to go get it.  The message contains letters from home.  Chakotay gets the first one.  Chakotay tells B'Elanna that all the Marquis, except a few who are in prison, are dead.  Harry and Tom chat - Harry about the letters and Tom about the food.  Kims says to Tom, "I'm not you." DUH!  You are nothing like Tom.  The data stream degrades so Seven and Tuvok have to take a shuttle to get the message (We all know what taking a shuttle means.)  B'Elanna takes over for Seven (Sevens job was to get the data, doesn't anyone else work on the ship?)  Seven and Tuvok get beamed off the shuttlecraft and onto a ship.  (I thought we were the only ones in the Delta quadrant with transporter technology.)  B'Elanna calls Tom down to where she's working.  She tells him that a letter is coming in for him.  He cops a bad attitude and tries to leave but B'Elanna doesn't let him.  <Kleenex time> Tom explains to B'Elanna how he feels about the letters.  He tells her that everything he has on Voyager is better than what he had in the Alpha quadrant and explains to her about his dad.  The letter is from his dad.  She then tells him about the news of all her friends dying and that she has been crying.  He hugs her.  B'Elanna puts her hand on Tom's face and tells him she will call him when the rest of the letter comes in. He turns around and leaves. <Kleenex time over> <RANTING TIME NOW!>  Those @#$% TPTB, where in the @#% is the kiss?  This point in time should have definately had a kiss with it.  <RANTING TIME OVER> Janeway tells Chakotay that Mark married someone else.  Could be an opening for you J/Cer fans.  Don't write me, I'm not one of you.  Voyager discovers that no one is on the shuttle.  Tuvok and Seven escape but in the process the relay station gets destroyed.  B'Elanna gives Harry his letter from his parents and then tells Tom that she couldn't get any more of his letter.  She tells him to assume that his dad said he loved him and he's proud of him and Tom agrees to do that.
 

Scientific Method - I'm having to do this one from memory - I should know some of it real well since I've watched it a billion times (I've watched 'the good parts' a billion times).



B'Elanna gives Seven a lecture of Starfleet protocol.  <GO B'ELANNA!>  Tom gets out of his sick bay duties and uses the ships site-to-site transport to bring B'Elanna flowers.  They kiss.  <YEAH!> Aliens interfere. <BOO!>They kiss Again. <YEAH!>Commercial. <BOO!>Everybody is working and Tom comes to see B'Elanna in engineering on the pretense to help her do some work<Wink Wink>They go upstairs to her workstation and get it on.<YEAH!>Tuvok enters<BOO!>Tom catches up with Tuvok and tries to convince him not to say anything. Tom is sooo sweet.  B'Elanna and Tom enter the turbolift and try to decide what to do.  They go to their meeting.  They only look at each other once and then quickly look away.  After the meeting, they start to leave when Janeway calls them back for a private talking.  She lectures them about their romance and that they better start acting like senior officers. <BOO! JANEWAY>  They leave and return to their duties.  B'Elanna helps the doc out and almost dies.  Tom saves her though and is so caring in sickbay with her.  Seven <sleep mode on>.... <sleep mode off>.  Tom and B'Elanna are in his quarters having dinner.  He is so FINE!  They kiss a lot <YEAH!> The end.<BOO!>

The Raven - Alternate Title - Seven has PTSD



Seven picks up on a homing signal and then takes a shuttle to go join back with the Borg.  Tom and Tuvok go after her also in a shuttle.  Tom sure is cute.  Tuvok beams aboard the shuttle and is quickly subdued by Seven.  How come she's so strong?  Isn't she a human now?  Then they find a ship and its the ship that Seven was originally on when her and her parents were assimilated.  Now how did that ship get in the Delta quadrant in the first place?  Long range exploration just doesn't cut it here.  What happened to Seven's parents?  What happens to Borg's when they get old?  That really was the end of the story.  I didn't like this episode very much.  Tom sure was cute in this episode though.
 

Message in a Bottle - Alternate Title - "Two Starfleet Commando's"  I loved the doctors in this show.  I don't like how they are doing Seven's character.  She should have to follow the same rules as the rest of the crew.  If they keep it up then they might as well call it Baywatch in Space.  Just my opinion.



This one starts off with Chakotay sticking up for the Borg when B'Elanna is complaining about her.  Seven TELLS the Captain and Chakotay to come to the science room.  She has found a ship in the Alpha quadrant.  They try to send it a message but the attempts fail and they decide to send the doctor.  They send him through a space alien network to the other ship.  He arrives on the 'Promethius', a rather cool looking ship.  This ship has regenerative shielding and Multi-Vector Assault Mode.  This ship has been taken over by the Romulans.  The Doctor summons the EMH from this ship and the two doc's work together to overtake the ship.  While back on board Voyager, Neelix tries to kill some of the crew off with his Rodeo Red Sir Red Hot Root N Toot'n Chili with jalapenos in it (Neelix pronounced the jalapenos with the j).  Paris is having a bad hair day.  Perhaps he needs me to run my fingers through it.  Paris tries to get Kim to create another EMH so he can get out of sick bay.  He's a pilot not a doctor as he said.  B'Elanna tries to explain to Seven that she is rude, but it doesn't seem to do any good.  The Herogin appear and tell Voyager to quite using their network and they disconnect.  Once they re-establish contact, Janeway tries to convince them that they really need to use the network but the Herogen don't listen, so all on her own Seven sends them a mild shock.  Great, now lets piss off the aliens because we aren't getting our way.  In other episodes they have to find other ways of doing things when the alien race won't allow them to do whatever it is they are trying to do.  The two docs are successful at defeating the Romulans and the Doctor comes back aboard Voyager and informs them that he told Starfleet command that Voyager was in the Delta Quadrant.  Apparently, 14 months ago, Voyager was officially declared lost.  Starfleet will now attempt a rescue mission and contact Voyager family members.  Now, two more weeks of re-runs.  ARGH!
 
 
 
 
 

Waking Moments - Alternate Title - "Help! I've fallen asleep and I can't wake up."  I know, that was bad.  Speaking of bad, there was a lot of bad acting and directing in this show.  I still liked it because I thought it was funny.  I could definately tell that Roxanne was pregnant.



Everyone is having a nightmare, Kim is being attacked by Seven.  Tuvok goes to the bridge without his uniform on.  The captain kills the crew.  Paris is crashing another shuttle and DAMN him for not dreaming about me.  If you watched this show for some good quality sci-fi, you were probably disappointed but I kept picking myself off the floor laughing.  I'm easily amused.  B'Elanna comes to see Tom after he sleeps through their breakfast date.  Tom looks so good in that robe.  They decide to go to Tahiti.  Life must be rough for B'Elanna, Tahiti and Paris.  In MY dreams.  Neelix gives Tom some cooking oil to drink.  Janeway questions Tuvok about his dream and then looks him up and down.  I think she might like a naked vulcan.  Janeway and Tuvok go to get Kim and Janeway knocks on the door.  I haven't seen anyone knock on a door in a Star Trek episode in a long time.  They go into his dark room and never turn the lights on.  That's the first thing I do when I go into a dark room, silly me.  The doctor informs us that people are in Hyper-REM state.  Chakotay tries lucid dreaming.  I'm sure all the Chakotay finds would like to try lucid dreaming with Chakotay but thats another web page.  Chakotay meets the alien and is told to leave their space.  Neelix talks about his dream, he was boiled in a pot of his own leola root stew.  I think that TPTB must have gotten this idea from the DIE! NEELIX! DIE! fans.  Sounds like something they would do.  The aliens attack the ship again and Chakotay realizes he's still dreaming.  So everything I just said doesn't count.  There is a real cute shot of Tom sleeping on the bridge, Chakotay moves his head out of the way.  I'd like to move his head too!  Chakotay finds the aliens and wakes one and then everything is just hunky dory.  The big RESET button of life is again pressed.  Except for a few crew members with insomnia.
 
 

Day of Honor - Alternate title - "Tom Paris needs a good slapping in this episode."  This is one episode that inspires me on both sides of the fence.  I loved parts and I hated parts of it.  I love Tom Paris, but not in this episode.  It was good to see Vorik, and Neelix had a shining moment.



The Borg woman gets to request her own choice of duty assignments.  How nice.  Janeway decides that Seven doesn't need a security detail posted with her, afterall she's done so much to earn their trust and its only the engineering department.  She couldn't possibly do much damage there.  Get a clue Janeway!  B'Elanna is having a bad day and Tom isn't helping the matter much.  I say slap him.  The Caatati show up and ask for a handout.  B'Elanna's day gets worse and Tom helps make it worse.  I'd slap you if I could Tom.  The Caatati blah blah blah.  Tom tries to protect the borg woman.  Excuse me while I gag.  Tom offers her friendship and support if she needs it.  Gee Tom in three days (Revulsion) you will be giving Kim a lecture on staying away from borg woman.  Are you trying to pick her up or something.  B'Elanna should slap you silly boy.  They have to perform a transwarp test in engineering which B'Elanna was against in the first place but no one listened to the chief engineer because we were trying to make the borg woman happy.  Tom smart mouths B'Elanna.  He's really asking for it.  The test goes bad and they have to dump the core.  Should of dumped Tom too and while were at it, lets dump Janeway and the borg.  Tom and B'Elanna have to take a shuttle to get the warp core.  You know it is going to be bad when they get into a shuttle.  As expected the shuttle blows up and Tom and B'Elanna are out in space in environmental suits.  This is where we need to pause to go get our Kleenex.  Tom now returns to his normal self and there are a few nice lines and touching moments shared in space.  Then the big one happens.  B'Elanna, near death tells Tom that she loves him.  His reply, "You picked a great time to tell me."  WHAT the hell was that Tom?  You are dying in space and the woman that you've been chasing has just confessed that she does love you and you come up with "You picked a great time to tell me."  I ought to slap you for that one.  Does this mean that you don't love her or that TPTB just lost it for a moment?  ARGH!
 
 

I love the episode Revulsion, so its review may be a little longer than the others.  I also love the character of the Doctor so don't send me hate mail about him.

Revulsion - Alternate title - "Our Isomorph went Postal"



The show starts by showing a man cleaning up his crew mates and then sending a distress call.  Then we get to see the most wonderful scene in the history of Star Trek (IMHO anyway).  Tom Paris is telling a story about how he played a joke on Tuvok.  I love the character of Tuvok.  Tuvok gets a promotion (GO TUVOK!!).  B'Elanna gets up to leave and Tom gets up to go after her.  He meets her and says that they need to talk.  He gives B'Elanna an excuse about saying that she loves him (He's so sweet) but she confirms that she does love him.  She then starts babbling on about how he doesn't have to love her.  Tom tells her to "Shut Up" and gives her a big kiss.  <REWIND>  He gives B'Elanna an excuse about saying that she loves him (He's so sweet) but she confirms that she does love him.  She then starts babbling on about how he doesn't have to love her.  Tom tells her to "Shut Up" and gives her a big kiss.  The doctor interrupts them.  Note to self - kill the doctor.  <Wipe drool off remote control> The Doctor wants to go help the hologram and offers to take B'Elanna with him. Note to self - kill the doctor.  Kim and Seven have to work together and Kim gets nervous.  B'Elanna and the Doctor are in the shuttle and the Doctor tries to pick a fight with B'Elanna. Note to self - kill the doctor.  Then they beam down to the isomorphs ship.  Paris gives Kim a lecture on the do's and don'ts of dating Borg woman.  Kim doesn't listen.  <Dumb Kim, Dumb>  Isomorph goes nuts and tries to rip B'Elanna's heart out.  Note to self - kill isomorph.  Kim asks Seven to sit. <She can't stupid, not in that outfit.> Kim then tries to put the moves on Seven but he gets scared.  B'Elanna fries the isomorph. YEAH! B'Elanna.  Back in sick bay B'Elanna asks Tom if he is to tired to come to her quarters later.  "Can your heart take it he replies".  I wasn't very happy with that one but I guess that was the best that TPTB could come up with.  The doctor then makes a smart remark.  Note to self - kill the doctor.
 

Nemesis - Alternate title "Chakotay does the Jungle"



This was a re-run but I had never seen it before.  Chakotay has to transport down to the sphere and mingle with the people from this planet who were at war with some alien race (sorry, I already forgot who).  He tries not to get involved at first, but reluctantly he starts to feel for the people and begins to hate the enemy.  Oh, there's Tom on Voyager talking to Janeway and Tuvok about how to rescue Chakotay.  (Funny Janeway, how come your rescuing Chakotay but you wouldn't help rescue B'Elanna when she was being held by the Mari? sorry I'll get off my soapbox).  Paris gets off a good one to Tuvok "There you go again looking on the bright side".  Hey wait Tom is looking at me.  He's coming over to me.  He's kissing me!  Oh, sorry I was daydreaming again.  Back to the story.  The credits roll.  Just kidding.  Chakotay ends up being saved by the aliens that he has grown to hate.  Moral of the story.  Your enemy is all in your mind.  I don't know I just made it up.  If you got something better let me know and I'll put it on here.
 

Mortal Coil - Alternate title "A waste of tape"



Neelix, Neelix, Neelix,  Blah, Blah, Blah.  Oh wait there's a scene with Tom it it.  He's so gorgeous.  Yeah!!! Yeah!!! Yeah!!!
Neelix is dead, Neelix is dead!  We could make a song out of this idea.  Hey wait a minute, Neelix wasn't wearing a red shirt.  Is something fishy going on???  Yep, just as I suspected, here comes the borg lady to save Neelix.  I knew someone would.  Darn It!  Excuse me Captain but I think you need to button up that blouse, Chakotay is looking.  Hey another scene with Tom in it and he's in engineering, could it be?  YES!  YES! A Tom and B'Elanna scene and Chakotay is leaving. YES! YES!  Hey what is this Neelix crap again. Where's my story about Tom and B'Elanna?????  Darn It!!!!  Neelix is leaving??? Are they teasing us again?  Yes, they are!  I just knew it.  It was to good to be true.   Darn It!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Gift - A re-run Alternate Title - "We need better ratings so out with Kes in with the Borg Lady"



Okay, this show was a little to hard to watch without some enlightening drink to go along with it.  Mainly because it was almost 30 minutes before a scene with Lt. Tom Paris was shown.  I don't think that they explained very well the reason why Kes was transforming the way she was.  If that was a gift from Kes, then why didn't she send them back to the alpha quadrant, not just ten years?  Well I don't remember much more about that episode, except the fact that I'm gonna feel real sorry for Jerri Ryan (7o9) if she ever has to go to work feeling bloated.  Send your comments to kbellap@geocities.com
 
 

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