The Crossroads of Infinity has been beaten, stabbed, stomped, poked with a pointy stick, burnt, singed, razed, conflagrated, tarred and feathered, boiled in oil, covered in pork grease, drowned, tied to railroad tracks by evil men in all black twirling their outlandish moustaches, given a free gift coupon to the Netherworld, given a bucket to kick, asphyxiated, strangled, garroted, decapitated, drawn and quartered, staked, forced to listen to Celine Dion endlessly for weeks on end, castrated, eaten alive by cannabilistic African pygmies, given the Kiss of Death, poisoned, gassed, given cement shoes and put to sleep with the fishes, seduced by an assassin, "punished" by a dominatrix, put in the way of Hillary Clinton, and otherwise