What's that ringing sound?
Hmmm?
There's this loud ringing sound. Don't you hear it?
It's too early.
James, I can hear a voice.
No, not the light. Don't turn the light on, Lucy.
It's the phone. It got knocked off the hook.
Mystery solved. Turn the light off. Please.
I'm awake now.
What?
Go back to sleep, James. I'll just make breakfast, feed the cat.
Okay.
Get an early start to the day.
Will you turn the light off?
My slippers.
What about them?
I can't find them. They should've been next to the bed.
Oh.
You don't see them, do you?
I'm sleeping.
Some help you are. Maybe the bathroom... Missy!
It's dark again.
Damned cat. Light bulb shorted out, but I'm fine and the lamp's fine, just needs a new bulb. And your cat's fine. I swear to god that she's tripping me deliberately.
You're imagining things. What time is it?
The clock is right next to you.
Five thirty. Right. I might as well get up; I don't seem to be getting more sleep.

Found your slippers.
What? Where?
They're down here, at the bottom of the stairs.
Odd. I must have not brought them up last night like I thought.

Off the counter. Off. No, I'm not petting you. Get away from the food. Away. Thank you.
Would you believe they managed to throw the paper into the one remaining puddle?
Since it's dripping on the carpet, I'd have to say yes.
That takes real talent.
It's covered in plastic wrap, James, there's no harm done to it.
Real talent.
While I'm up, would you like some of the bread?
Sure. Sorry it dripped on the carpet, dear.
Missy! I cut myself. I'm bleeding. Because of your damned cat.
Missy?
She pushed her head into my arm while I was cutting you a slice.
Run some water over it. It's not serious, is it?
No, it's stopped now. Get Missy off the counter, will you?
Here, I'll finish cutting the bread. Make yourself a cup of tea and just relax., why don't you?

Damn it, Missy!
Dear, are you all right?
This tea is hot, you know. And your cat is always underfoot.
Always under *your* feet, I've never had a problem with her. Let me see it, dear. At least it's your other hand. Hardly scalded at all.
You need to do something about that cat, or I will.
What do you want me to do? Lock her in the bathroom?
Why not?
Lucy...
What are you looking at me like that for? It's not cruelty. She has her litterbox in there, and we can move the food bowl. I'll even open the window so she gets a nice breeze.
Fine. Fine. But I don't think this is a good idea.
Well I do.
Fine.

Dinner smells nice.
It went a lot quicker. I didn't have to worry about Missy stealing food.
Where is Missy?
Still in the bathroom. You can let her out after dinner.
You gave her more food?
And fresh water, yes James. She seemed perfectly content to sit by the window in there.
All right then, after dinner.
Hissed at me when I went to pet her, though.
Cats are territorial, dear. I don't think she meant anything by it.
You don't think, that's your problem.

She's gone.
Gone?
She chewed a hole in the screen.
A hole? In the screen? The window screen?
Yes, dear.
We'll need to buy a new one.
I'm going out to search for her.
She can't have gone far.
Probably not.
I'll come help.

Missy? Missy, don't run. James, I've found her.
Where are you?
I'm in the back. Missy, just hold still. I'm not going to hurt you.
Be right there.
Missy... gotcha.
You got her?
Yeah, I've... Missy!
She bolted towards the bushes.
She scratched me. Damned cat just raked me with her claws. James?
Shh, don't want to spook her.
I'm going back inside. To pour disinfectant over my wounds.
Okay, dear. It's all right now, Missy. Missy...

Dear?
I'm fine.
We can't keep her in the bathroom tomorrow.
What about the basement?
Lucy...
Just a joke. I'll go buy a water gun tomorrow morning.
She's just a cat, Lucy. This isn't a war.

You left your slippers out again. At the top of the stairs. I nearly tripped over them.
I would've sworn I put them away.
You didn't.
James, I remember putting them away last night.
And yet they were by the staircase this morning. Unless you're accusing me of moving them?
I didn't say that.
Then what else am I supposed to believe?
Maybe Missy did it. Because I know I put them away.
You're blaming the cat? You think she went into our room, somehow picked up your slippers, and left them on the stairs? Because you think she hates you?
She does hate me.

Hey, Missy. Where's Lucy? No, she's not in the kitchen, Missy. Lucy? There's no note on the table. Lucy, where are you?
James? Is that you? I'm down in the basement.
The basement?
Just open the damned door.

Lucy, you know you have to keep the door propped open.
I had it propped open. With that shoe. Your cat pushed it out.
Dear, you can't believe she deliberately locked you in the basement. Just tell me what happened.
I came down to the freezer to defrost some chicken for dinner. Your cat followed me, darted in front of me while I was going down the stairs. I squirted her with some water, she arched her back and hissed at me, so I squirted her again, and she dashed up the stairs. A second later I heard the door shut.
She must have knocked it on her way up. These things happen, dear.
Has she ever locked you in the basement?
I've never thrown water at her.
So it's my fault.
Lucy, that's not what I said.
It's what you mean. I swear you care more for that cat than you do for me.
That's not true, dear.
You spend more time with her.
Listen, tomorrow is Saturday. We'll sleep late, go out to a nice brunch, and see a movie. Neither of us will mention Missy. Will that make you feel better?
Yes.
What movie?

Dear? Oh, hello Missy. What time is it? It's nine o'clock. I wonder why Lucy didn't wake me. You're in a good mood this morning, Missy. Why don't we go get some breakfast? Come on, Missy. And leaving slippers in the middle of the stairs is just not safe. What if- Lucy? Lucy! A pulse. Please, let there be a pulse. People only die from falling down stairs in the movies. No pulse. And she's not breathing. Missy! Calm. Remain calm, animals understand tone but not words. At least according to the nature channel, that is. Missy...

Dear, you can't keep doing this.