Subject: natasha
Date: Tue, 04 May 1999 01:07:35 -0700
From: Trixie <trixie@wgn.net>
To: trixie@wgn.net

What’s a nice girl like you doin’ brooding in a place like this?

Such a simple question. She internally snickers at herself for the
response she’d considered giving him.

‘Just waiting for you to come along and take me away from all this, big
boy,’ that part of her brain she never allowed to speak answered. She
turns her face from his, refusing to let him see the consideration
there. It was dark, the only light that of the lamp on the docks.

The docks. Why had she come here? To brood? She certainly had reason
enough to brood. With the state of her life of late, she most definitely
had reason. Two kiss offs in so many months. Most women don’t get that
lucky. Bitterness wells up within her. But that’s not the point. She had
to concentrate on his question. She had to answer that question without…
What term had he so eloquently used? Ah yes. Without peeving him off.
Then after he was finished playing with her, he’d go away. And she
wanted him to go away.

Right?

Of course she did. He was annoying. So she would simply tell him to go
away.

Except she couldn’t do that. Because she had to play this game of cat
and mouse with him before he’d leave her alone. She risks a glance at
his face then averts her gaze back out to the water. He was enjoying her
obvious discomfort, damn him. Amusement dances behind his eyes and it
makes her want to slug him. Hard. So hard that his lip bleeds as his
whole body hits the ground. A cruel smile lights up her face. Oh yes.
She wants to slug him.

But again she knows she can’t. Because if she did, he’d tell her secret.
Then everyone would know.

Then she’d die. Because *She* would kill her. A shudder runs through her
body remembering another pair of eyes, so cold, so ruthless. Looking at
things in that light, she’d be content to sit here and banter with this
man for as long as he cared to. For as long as it took. Because anything
- even this - was better then seeing those cold cruel eyes pointed in
her direction.

She sighs. All she really wants to do is cry. She’d done so earlier. It
was the real reason she’d come here. Perhaps it was like returning to
the scene of the crime. She could imagine the tone of his voice, the
look in his eyes, his every movement as he relayed the information he’d
gathered to her. Her entire life had come suddenly into focus here,
causing a sadness, a rage, an utter sense of despair to fill her. She
couldn’t even remember life before she’d know the truth. Couldn’t begin
to contemplate it. She’d truly lost everything.

Everything except the man at her side. She rolls her eyes. When it
rains…….

So sitting in her small hotel room a few hours ago, she’d felt the walls
closing in on her. Rather then allow her newfound case of claustrophobia
to drive her mad, she’d grabbed her coat and purse and quickly made her
way out. She’d walked around for awhile until the thought of moving
another inch had made her feel physically nauseous. She’d looked around
her and found herself at this place. The amusement she hadn’t allowed
herself to feel earlier threatened to turn into hysterics now as she
realized the irony. She hadn’t a friend in the world but this man next
to her. And he would easily destroy the fragile life she had left if she
pushed the wrong button. And she was grateful - *grateful* - to have him
here. She knows this says something about her mental state, but refuses
to allow herself the time to think about it now. She has enough to deal
with. Like how to make him go away…..

“Yoo-hoo, Ms. Davis, I’ve asked you a question, I do expect some sort of
response.” Alexis turns to glare at the annoyance to her right. She
fingers the sapphire ring around her neck as she considers him. If she
didn’t know him, if she were to glance at him on the street, she might
believe he were scruffy, a common street urchin all grown up. She
wouldn’t give him a second glance, writing him off as someone who was
not a threat to anything. It was only after a second, even a third look
that she sees something else. She sees the intelligence behind his eyes,
sees the cunning. It’s probably his sexiest attribute.

Woah. That line of thought is counter-productive. Yes, he’s attractive.
But he’s also annoying. And rude. And boorish.  Not to mention that he
hated her. Wryly Alexis tells herself to calm down. So she admitted that
she found him attractive. He still repulsed her. Just a little less now
then he did before. “I’m sorry, were you speaking? I must’ve dozed off
for a moment.” The barb leaves her lips before she can stop it. She
closes her eyes, forcing a deep breath into her body. She cannot let him
get to her like this. He has too much power over her for Alexis to allow
herself the small pleasure of insulting him.

“Seeing how you already seem to regret that last statement, I’ll let it
slide,” he says, smiling that ridiculous little smile of his.

“How kind,” she replies sarcastically. “So tell me, Mr. Spencer, why is
it you feel the need to sit here with me? You don’t like me….. Do you
enjoy watching me squirm? Making my life hell? If so, why? What exactly
do you get out of it?” Alexis smoothes her hands down her skirt, trying
to control her temper. Stop it. Stop yelling at him. It won’t do a damn
bit of good. It’ll only anger him further. If he’s angry, he could
destroy her.

Luke seems to be considering her, his appraisal of her causing her pulse
to race. Why doesn’t he just get it over with? Why doesn’t he just get
this *thing* done, and leave?  His shoulders finally shrug and she sees
something shift behind his eyes. “Maybe I’m just a lonely guy,” he quips
glibly, but Alexis sees some truth behind his words. Maybe he *was*
lonely.

“My God,” she breathes next to him, her eyes wide, her entire body
surprised.

He looks at her, then away, then back to her. “What?” he finally snaps.

“You really are lonely, aren’t you? Oh this is monumental. Luke Spencer
consorting with a Cassadine because he’s lonely.”

Luke leans in real close to her. “Now listen up, Natasha. You let that
get out, I let it get out. And I do believe you know what I’m talkin’
about, don’t you?” he asks, his tone lowering into something rougher,
something more…… Intimate? Alexis refuses to examine it, enjoying having
the upper hand for once.

“Oh, but this is so much bigger then the secret you have on me! Why I’m
just another person. You’re purposely spending time with a Cassadine.”
She smirks at him uncontrollably.

Luke narrows his eyes at her then sits back against the bench. He pulls
out a cigar and drags it under his nose, inhaling slowly. He digs into
his pocket and finds a lighter. He glances at her as he slips the cigar
in-between his teeth and lights the end. “That’s true. But you won’t
tell anyone about that, who, after all, would ever believe you?” He
smiles and takes a puff.

Alexis narrows her eyes, her lips thinning. “Fine. Don’t let me have one
ounce of fun. I’ll just sit here in the dark, silent and brooding like I
was perfectly content to do before you showed up.” Alexis folds her arms
across her chest and stares up at the sky. She’s mildly surprised when
Luke doesn’t say anything, merely leaning back against the other side of
the bench, smoking his cigar silently.

“Have you ever--”

“I knew your silence was far too good to be true,” Alexis sighs.

“Wished upon a star?” Luke continues as though she’d never spoke.

Alexis shakes her head, a sardonic smile on her lips. “I did it once as
a child. My wish didn’t come true, so I let go of yet another fanciful
notion.”

“What’d you wish for?”

“I wished that Helena would fall off the family boat and die on our next
excursion,” she answers with a smile. “Unfortunately, the next time the
family went out sailing, for the first time Helena declined to come.
Every other time after that, she declined. It’s like she knew what my
wish was, and refused to let the circumstance for it to come true
appear.” Alexis shakes off her musings. “Or she didn’t want to get on a
boat anymore in fear of getting wet and melting. I don’t really know,
nor do I care.”

“So why don’t you make a wish now? Worst case scenario - you don’t get
what you wish for. Best case scenario - it just might come true.” Luke
smiles becomingly at her. “Come on. Just give it a try.”

Alexis stares at him, trying to figure out his angle. He was being too….
Nice. Luke Spencer was many things, but somehow ‘nice’ has never been a
term she’d use to describe him.  But she didn’t care. Right now, this
minute she didn’t care what angle he was playing, how he was trying to
manipulate her this time. She just didn’t care. She needed someone to be
kind, someone to talk to, and since she couldn’t make him go away, she
might as well take advantage of his presence. But she couldn’t make it
*that* easy for him….

“It’s too juvenile. Wishing upon a star… Sounds like a ploy in some bad
Disney movie.”

Luke raises his eyebrows at her. “Don’t say that. There’s no such thing
as a bad Disney movie.”

Alexis looks at him like he’s lost his mind. “Excuse me. Are you telling
me that you’re a Disney fan?”

Luke rears away from her. “Bite your tongue Woman,” he mutters. “That
damn six foot rat isn’t natural. Burt Laura….. Laura loved them. Loved
to show them to the kids.” He frowns at the thought of Laura. He hadn’t
thought of her in a long time. Hadn’t thought of her at all in the last
few weeks, period. She had been gone so long… And the last time he’d
seen her he hadn’t exactly gotten a warm reception. He’d tried to be
fair. Tried to tell her he already knew about Steffin and her having an
affair so long ago, knew that Nikky belonged to Count Vladd. But rather
then being happy he wasn’t angry with her, she was furious he hadn’t
told her sooner. For Gods sake, how the hell was he supposed to win?
He’s angry, he’s the bad guy. He’s not angry, he’s the creep. Who the
hell needs it anyway, a part of his mind whispers. She’s dragging you
down. I love her, the part of him that did argues. But you can’t live
the life, can’t give her the life she needs. Don’t you ever miss it? The
danger, the intrigue without fear of coming home to her and having her
look on you with disappointment, and disapproval because you did
something ‘wrong’ in her eyes? Don’t you ever tire of it? Or did she
take away the part of you that knew how to live? Don’t you ever want a
woman who would understand and respect you for who you are?

Someone who had her own set, who could cold cock you with the handgun
she carries around in her purse….

“So long as I don’t find you consorting with Pluto on your front lawn,
I’ll leave the talk of Disney alone for the moment. In fact, let’s leave
this wishing on a star nonsense alone, and go back to verbally abusing
one another in the way you find so amusing,” she states, smiling an
obviously fake smile in his direction.

“Don’t pretend I’m the only one who likes it Alexis,” he says, lowering
his voice. “You get off on it. You love the challenge a good…. mind
presents you with. And while you may say many things about my rather
dubious character, I do give good mind.” He smiles at the slight hitch
he sees in her breathing, a hitch he might not have noticed had he not
been concentrating on the pulse at her throat.

Visibly swallowing, Alexis looks him in the eye. “I wouldn’t touch that
rather, to steal your own word, dubious statement with the proverbial
ten foot pole. However, if it will make you go away, I’ll wish upon the
damn star.” Turning away from him quickly, she looks up at the sky.

But she isn’t quick enough. He had seen her eyes go shiny suddenly, and
how her voice had grown almost hysterical on the last few words out of
her mouth. She was raised outside that damn twisted family. Yet she was
one of them. One of them, but not of them. Or so she’d been led to
believe all her life. Led to believe she wasn’t enough, wasn’t as good,
didn’t fit in, never would fit in. “Make your wish. Pick the biggest,
brightest star in the sky,” he whispers against her cheek. He can feel
the internal battle within her. More then anything, she doesn’t want him
to see her crying again. He knows she’s trying to hold it in.

“I don’t want to wish on the biggest brightest star, I want to wish on
that small barely perceptible one just above the water tower,” Alexis
replies defiantly, a slight crack to her voice.

Luke smiles, admiring her more then she’d ever know, more then he
should. “Wish on whatever star you want Darlin’,” he whispers, the
endearment slipping off his lips without conscious thought.

“There, I made my wish. I hope you’re satisfied now,” Alexis responds,
trying to sound flippant, but failing miserably.

Far from it, he almost responded. Some last vestige of self preservation
kept him from saying it aloud. “What did you wish for?” he asks,
genuinely curious.

“Now you know the rule, if I tell you what I wished for, it won’t come
true,” she protests weakly.

“I thought you didn’t believe it would work anyway,” Luke challenges.

“Maybe you don’t want to hear what it is I wished for,” Alexis states
shakily, looking him directly in the eye.

Maybe he doesn’t want to, Luke concedes silently. But he needs to. “How
bad could it be? Did ya wish I was never born? Or simply wish I’d
disappear off this dock?” He asks this question flippantly, part of him
hoping she’ll start playing with him again, get them both off this
dangerous ground they seem to be stuck on.

Something in her eyes told him her answer was about to be anything but
flippant. “I wished I could just be who I am,” she says on a shuddering
sigh. “I wished I could be who I am without fear of disgrace or death. I
just….. wish I could be her.”

“Natasha,” Luke says softly.

Alexis closes her eyes to the name. It isn’t until he speaks it again
that she realizes he’s speaking to her. “What?”

Luke stares into her eyes. He can’t make himself say what he feels. He
knows once he does, there’ll be no turning back. For either of them. So
he gives it one more shot, one more chance to put it all back on even
ground, on familiar ground. “Oh baby, you are one wily woman. You’ve
distracted me all this time, and I forgot that you never answered my
question.”

He can see the indecision written all over her face. “Which question?”
she asks warily. “I told you, I dozed off and hadn’t heard a word you
said.”

He sees her valiantly struggling with the same things he’s struggling
with. He could simply say it’s not important, get up off this bench and
walk away. He could be a gentleman, and make the choice for her, rather
then putting the decision in her hands. But while Luke Spencer has been
called many things, ‘gentleman’ has never been one of them. So he gives
her the choice. Gives her the chance to change things, or let them stay
the same. “What’s a nice girl like you doin’ brooding in a place like
this?”

He watches the emotions play over her face. He watches her vacillate
between what she wants and needs, between what’s right and wrong,
between what’s smart and what simply just is. He watches and waits for
her response. When it comes, the sheer audacity of it causes him to sit
back a little.

“Just waiting for you to come along and take me away from all this, big
boy,” she states with a perfectly serious expression on her face. And
she realizes it’s true. She’d come here knowing he’d be along
eventually, to watch Wyndemere from the perfect vantage point this bench
allows. She had wanted to play. She still wanted to play.

“May I have the pleasure of your company for a late… Late dinner at my
club tonight?” Luke asks, standing and extending an arm.

Alexis stands and faces him squarely. “Do you have champagne?”

Luke snorts. “It’s a Blue’s club, of course I do.”

“Promise not to smoke another of those disgusting things,” she indicates
the cigar butt in his hand, “and it’s a deal.”

Luke drops the cigar to the ground and stomps it out with a flourish. He
offers her his elbow and she places her arm in his. “Ready to dance,
Darlin’?”

Alexis smiles. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” She closes her eyes and lets him
walk her off the docks, not quite sure if she wasn’t indeed leaping into
a den of lions.

~

Alexis relates the sound of the door at ‘Luke’s’ closing to that of a
jail cell slamming shut, sealing her fate. Trying to shake the thought
away she walks into the club, Luke right behind her. She walks up to the
bar and braces her hands on it. “So was that offer of champagne just a
cruel fabrication to get me here?” she asks, a slight catch to her
voice.

“No fabrication. I’ll be right back Darlin.” She feels his breath
against the back of her neck, can hear the smile in his voice. She waits
until he’s about ten feet away from him then says his name softly. She
waits until she’s sure he’s turned to look at her.

“Forget the drink. Just come over here and…. Just come over here.” She
keeps her eyes open, glued to the silver shoe hanging above the bar. She
hears a jumbling sound, then the room is filled with music. Eric
Clapton’s “Layla”. Why the hell did he pick that song? She wonders. Of
course this is Luke Spencer - he’s not like other men, why would his
seduction techniques be anything but off-beat? Just like the man…

Her breathing gives a little hitch as she feels him move up behind her.
His arms spread around her back to cage her against the bar. He presses
his front into her back and leans his head around hers to kiss her jaw.
“What is it you’d like me to do while I’m here?” he whispers
seductively. He smiles at the pulse he sees rapidly beating at her
throat. Lyrics of that song invade his brain.

What'll you do when you get lonely
And nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long.
You know it's just your foolish pride.

“Dance with me,” her voice, low and husky registers in his mind. He
smiles and wraps one arm around her waist, the other around her
shoulders, pinning her to him. He tilts her backwards until he can see
her face. His lips descend on hers, and he kisses her. Hard. His tongue
forces her lips open and moves inside her mouth. Alexis’ arms move up as
far as she can get them, her fingers clutching at his head, pulling his
mouth down to hers each time he eases up his assault even a little.

“I don’t believe this is what they call dancing, Mr. Spencer,” Alexis
breathes against his cheek when their mouths finally tore apart. She was
short of breath, and more aroused then she’s been in a long time. One of
his hands moved down to her breast and cupped it, tracing its nipple
through the silk blouse she wore. Alexis moans as he moves to her other
breast, kneading it, squeezing it like the other. She feels the rational
side of her mind take a powder and gets lost in the music, and the man.

Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane.
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain.

“Call me Luke,” his voice sounded ragged, even to his own ears. Luke ran
his hands down to the button on her blazer and undid it, shoving the
garment down her arms and letting it fall to the floor. He looks
carefully at the blouse she’s wearing. Twelve tiny little buttons
covered the front. He brings his hand up to her throat, letting his
index finger dance around the open skin. He inserts that finger inside
the blouse, bringing his other hand up to do the same. The material gave
as he ripped the buttons down the front, and tore the remaining cloth
from her body. He moves them both forward till her back hits the bar.

“That was my favorite blouse,” she says in a husky voice.

Luke shrugs. “Sorry,” he says, not sounding at all sorry. He moves
forward and starts kissing her again, trailing his hands down her back
to her bra. He finds the clasp easily and dispatches with the bits of
black lace. His mouth works down her throat to her chest where he begins
alternately sucking and biting her nipples. Inarticulate sounds of
encouragement leave Alexis’ lips as he continues his single minded
pursuit of her, his hands running down her ribcage to circle her hips.
He finds the zipper on her skirt and undoes it, letting it slide down
her body.

“Stop,” she gasps out, shoving his face away from her lips. Smirking at
the shocked expression on his face, Alexis reaches out to him, starting
at the top of his shirt and ripping the buttons down the front. At his
narrowed eyes she shrugs. “Turn about’s fair play.” She quickly undoes
his belt and the zipper on his slacks. She shoves his pants down around
his ankle and reaches into his boxers to cup him. She smiles at how hard
he is. Luke grabs both her wrists and pulls them behind her back.
Holding them there, he lifts her up off the ground and moves with her.
“What the hell are you--”

“Hush Natasha,” he commands against her lips, kissing her again. He sets
her on top of the bar, spreading her out on her back. He begins to
spread kisses down her body until he reaches her panties. He tugs them
off and runs them down her bare legs. “Don’t you wear stockings?” he
asks, running his hands up her thighs.

Alexis gives a little gasp. “Usually,” she grits out as his head
descends so his mouth can place little biting kisses on her inner
thighs. “But today I just didn’t feel like it.”

Luke moves his head up to grin at her wolfishly. “I’m glad.”

“Will you please stop talking and just screw me?” Alexis pants out.

Smiling even more so, Luke hooks his arms around her thighs and pulls
her to the end of the bar. He wraps her legs around his waist as her
chest comes in contact with his. She uses her heels to shove down his
boxers. Lifting her slightly he slips inside her. Alexis lets out a gasp
that turns into a sigh. “Always happy to oblige,” he whispers into her
ear.

Alexis’ only answer is a groan as he begins to thrust. He lays her down
so her back is against the bar while he holds onto her hips, thrusting
in and out, harder and faster as her breathy little gasps tell him to.
Her legs tighten around his hips, squeezing him like a vice. Alexis
moves her arms to clutch at the railings on the bar, closing her eyes as
her orgasm pulses through her body. A moment later she feels his arms on
her ribcage, pulling her up and against him. She kisses him deeply,
letting her tongue caress the inside of his mouth while he thrusts
harder into her. Her hands move down his back, clutching, digging her
nails into his skin. The sensation is the final straw and he bites down
on her shoulder, gasping out her name as his orgasm overtakes him.

Luke comes back to himself, feeling her fingers thread through his
almost non-existent hair. He pulls back and looks her in the eye. She
smiles at him, a smile of pure satisfaction. “You called me Natasha,”
she whispers in wonder.

“I’ve been calling you Natasha for months,” he says matter of factly.

Alexis shakes her head gently. “Not like that. You’ve been calling me
Natasha to torment me. But tonight… Twice now, you’ve called me Natasha
because it’s who you believe I am.”

“Are you saying you’re not Natasha?” he asks, slipping out of her.

Alexis lets out a little moan at the loss of contact. “I’m saying no one
else knows. No one but you and me. That’s the kind of….. intimacy I
never thought the two of us would share.”

“And what the hell do you call what we just did here?” he asks, a little
miffed.

She smiles. “Sex.” At his look she amends. “Mind blowing sex. But…. You
calling me Natasha… almost unconsciously is more intimate then the sex
we just had.” She cocks her head to the side. “Not nearly as much fun,
but….”

Luke smiles. “Would you like to have some more fun, Natasha?” he asks,
moving up to her.

“I’d love to, but after sex on the bar, what else is there that could
possibly top this?” she asks, wrapping her legs back around his waist,
her arms around his neck.

“Pool table’s in the back room,” he suggests, waggling his eyebrows.

“I’m assuming you already locked the front door?” she poses the question
as he picks her up and begins walking with them to the back room.

“Locked it as soon as you were through the door. Wouldn’t want you
escaping on me…”

“Am I to assume, Mr. Spencer, that I’m your prisoner? I don’t know if I
like that idea…”

He kisses her. “Three things - One I told you to call me Luke,  two -
you like being my prisoner, and three - shut the hell up.”

“I’ll never shut up Luke,” she says, a cat ate the canary grin on her
face.

Luke shrugs his shoulders, which in turn shrugs her entire body. “Two
outta three ain’t bad,” he murmurs, laying her down on the pool table.

~

END