'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the TARDiS,
Not a creature was stirring, (see how hard that is!).
The stockings were hung on the roundels with care,
In hopes that Rasilon soon would be there;
K-9 was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of Jelly Babies danced in his head;
And The Doc in his neck scarf, Romana her cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When at UNIT H.Q. there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the scanner I flew like a flash,
Punched all of the buttons and gave it a bash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a blue Police Box, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so hard to be seen,
I thought it just might be Th'White Guardian.
More rapid than Daleks his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

Now, Jamie! Now, Leela! Now, Sarah and Susan!
On, Adric! On Peri! On, Nyssa and Tegan!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

As Vogans that before the wild Cybermen fly,
When they meet with The Master, mount to the sky,
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and yes, Paul McGann too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney The Doctor came with a bound.

He was wearing a scarf, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And in his pockets were stuffed to the top like a sack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His hair was all curly, his nose like a cherry!
The string tie round his neck was drawn up in a bow,
And the hair of his head was as white as the snow.

A Recorder he held tight in his teeth,
And a plaid coat encircled him like a big ugly wreath.
He gave me a look, and tipped me his hat,
(Pertwee would never go out looking like that!)
He changed his appearance (What next--an elf?),
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying some celery aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the transmat he rose.
Before the Brig thought to yell out, "S.E.T.I.",
Away they all flew like the down of a Yeti.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!

Gpb 1299

---

Despite having done two other twisted versions of this poem, I had a hard time with this one. Twisting it to Dr. Who was a stretch for me, because most of my twists are for Star trek.

I got my inspiration, because Dr. Who was returning to our local PBS station and our Star Trek Club was joining with a larger and more diverse Fan Group to man the phones during pledge break. Jill even knit a Dr. Who (Tom Baker style) scarf & donated it.

Return to the Sci-Fi Index Page
Return to theTwisted Songs Page

See other Twisted versions of this poem:
Saint Roddenberry
Saint Zek