For those of you who don't know me too well, I'll tell you right off I haven't always been a follower of Jesus Christ. For a long time, God was one of the most foreign thoughts to my mind. I might think about it now and then. When I lived in McGehee, I was brought up for a while in a Presbeterian Church, but after my mother became disabled, I kind of quit going to church for a long time. I started going to a Pentecostal Church my senior year of High School mainly because of a friend I had at the time. So I pretty much grew up with a very fragmented view of who God was. I'm not proud to admit any of that, but I was your typical non-believer/Atheist that you see interviewed on 'Way of the Master'.

When I was 14 or 15, my parents divorced and it was not 'amicable', I will say that. I guess after years of seeing my family torn apart by different circumstances, people not liking me at school, my mother being in a dibilitating car wreck, my father leaving the marriage for another woman, seeing my parents lose 4 businesses and an unknown sum of real estate, and going through High School in pretty well poverse circumstances, I guess I kinda just started to get the idea that if God did exist, He must not like me much.

After I started college, things looked good for a short while for me. I was making better grades than I ever had the first year, but that quickly ended. I got distracted. I quit focusing on my music and my studies, and started writing fictional wrestling shows; which sometimes had material I wouldn't be proud to claim as my own today. But through that, I made a friend who was just starting out on his Christian journey and he started to tell me a little bit about Jesus, and how He could change my life. Naturally, I didn't give it much attention at first.

I started working for my dad for a while after flunking a semester at UAM. I kind of got into a lazy lifestyle of just getting up and going to work everyday and coming home with nothing much to do or look forward to; so eventually, I began to think life was pointless. I kind of just wanted to start to do my own thing. I continued to write these horrible fictional stories, and really as lame as it sounds I was kind of a wannabe rockstar. I either wrote meloic lines and no lyric or crappy lyrics and no melody, and for some odd reason got the idea stuck in my head that I was the greatest things since sliced bread. It's kind of funny to think of how the devil can make a fool of usif we start to believe the same stuff he does. I truly believe that the breaking point for him is he started to worship himself. For anyone who has ever had issues with being self-centered, you know what means. you have a view of yourself that noone else shares with you.

After a while, I saved up enough money to go back to UAM to finish my degree, and planned on just finishing out however I had to. Well, that January, there was a big snowstorm. I think it was 2000. School was cancelled for the rest of the week, and I got off work early. I decided to go pick up a pizza and take it home and just enjoy the next few days off. Well, God had another plan and I didin't know it back then.

I was driving in my '96 S-10 going around Wiley McGehee Lake, which if you've ever been to MeGehee, you know that there is a railroad crossing that is marked with a faded stop sign. Well, I was coming near the tracks, and really couldn't see that far in front of me. Well, suddenly as I was crossing the tracks I heard a loud horn and turned and saw the train maybe just 15 feet to the left of me.

I called on the name of The Lord and was spared with no injuries. The truck was nearly totalled and took months to repair, and I had a sore back for the next few weeks; but when that train collided with my truck, I pretty much knew my life would never be the same. I had suddenly had the thought come to mind to 'turn left'. The truck slid off the tracks and as a result probably ended up sparing my life.

After a few months of stuff just continuing to go wrong in my life after that, of coarse flunking out of my science coarse that semester; and the obvious hardship of not having a vehicle I'm still paying for for about three months, I suddenly had the thought come to mind 'there are people you need to forgive'. For some reason, several names came to mind. I started to have to forgive my parents for what I felt they had done by ending thier relationship the way they had. And there was a friend I had to forgive for something that had happened about three years earlier. It was not easy tracking him down, but after I did all this, my life started to turn around, although I didn't know why.

Suddenly, a few months later, I had the bright idea to join the National Guard to pay off my student loans and to finish my degree. Well, by now it is early 2001. I think you my be painting a picture of what is about to happen in your mind. Well, I signed up for the Guard and naturally told everyone I knew.

At the same time, my mother had just gone through a stage of depression that landed her in the State Mental Hospital. She was finally released and sent to the Gaines House until she was put back in her apartment. That's where she met Lana. For those of you who don't know, Lana is my wife. I started calling to check on Mom after she was released for the hospital; and she was telling me about how much fun she had with Lana, and Lana this and Lana that...

I want to preface this by saying that my mom was a recovering alcoholic. I had met a lot of her friends. For some reason, I kind of lumped Lana in that category without knowing anything about her. Well, one day I called to check on my mom and Lana answered the phone. I suddenly thought 'That's the nicest voice I've ever heard in my life!'

A few weeks later, I got to meet this Lana at Red Lobster. Mom had invited me for dinner, and she was there too. Over the next few months, Lana told me some stories of when she was in the Army Reserve. Yes, she was in for the basic training portion; but wasn't able to withstand the mental abuse that goes along with the training. she tried to encourage me to do the best I could if that's what I wanted to do.

My trip to Ft. Benning, GA was scheduled for Sept 25th of that year, where I would go for my Basic Training and AIT. After a few months of enjoying the beginnings of a new life, it seemed to come crashing down in one instant; because if you do the math, my trip to Georgia was scheduled exactly two weeks after 9/11.

To be continued...