seaQuest DSV
Fic Title: Jokers Wild
Fic author: katirene (XMP) and Paula (apb)
Fic rating: G
Disclaimer: This is based on the second season of the Amblin Television and Universal Television series "seaQuest DSV", created by Rockne S. O'Bannon. As is understood, I do not own any part of these characters, and have made no profit in the writing and sharing of this fic.Further disclaimer: This is an Ari Adler and Trey Barlow seaQuest fic.
Summary: What happens when things get a little out of hand on the seaQuest. Inspired by a verse from the Leslie Fish filksong "Banned from Argo".
Jokers Wild
Tim looked up and announced, "Call coming in from Sec. McGath, sir."
"Put him on the main screen, Mr. O'Neill." Trey looked up from the helms position and her eyes widened. She knew that nudity taboos had relaxed somewhat during the thirty years she'd been out, but for Secretary McGath to appear on an official channel like that! And with one of his assistants. S She gave a bark of laughter, disguising it as a cough, but it was enough to alert Tony Piccolo in the planesman position beside her. He looked up and laughed. As though that were the signal, a twitter of nervous laughter spread over the bridge. "Cut visual, lieutenant." Bridger ordered. Tim hastened to do so. He raised an ironic eyebrow at Trey who grinned back and mouthed the words, "not bad."
"What is it, Captain?" McGath's voice sounded confused.
"Ah, nothing sir," the captain lied, his face red with trying to keep the laughter out of his own voice. "We're having some visual difficulties on our end, that's all. It's a bit... um, distracting."
"Ah, I see. Well, thank you, Ms. Wilkins," they heard him say to the woman with him. "I'll finish the rest of that later." There was a creak as if of a desk chair returning to position. Bridger nodded to Tim who reinstated the picture again. "Ah, that's better." And it was, because he was sitting behind the desk instead of standing beside it.
Commander Ford took up position next to the screen and glared a warning at anyone who dared to even smile up at the sight. Trey wondered how Captain Bridger was able to listen to the problems McGath wanted them to handle with a straight face. But as soon as the connection was cut, he bellowed.
"GET LUCAS UP HERE NOW!!!"
Ari handed the screwdriver back and requested, "A number 3." She felt it replaced and tried to adjust the connection again. "How's that?"
"Better," Lucas decided, "But we're still not there. Maybe if you ..."
"LUCAS!" The bellow caused Ari to jerk back out of the opening and up reflexively, banging her head on outer edge.
"Ouch! What is it?" she asked, rubbing the sore spot. "What'd you do?"
"Me? Nothing this time. I've been with you." He grinned with sudden rue, adding, "If it were Ortiz, then I'd understand it." Ari stuck out her tongue.
The intercom boomed again, "IN THE WARDROOM, ON THE DOUBLE!" Ari gave him a sympathetic look.
"I'm glad I'm not in your shoes. He sounds mad. See you later." She started to slide back in, but the young computer genius grabbed her legs and pulled.
"Oh, no you don't. You're my alibi. You're coming with me!" With a laugh, Ari gave in.
"All right. All right. Don't pull, I'm coming out." She dusted herself off, avoiding Lucas's 'helpful' hands, and said, "You'd better hustle, Mr. Wolenczak. He doesn't sound very happy."
Grabbing her elbow, Lucas hurried her away from the circuits they'd been modifying. "We can put that back later," he assured her.
Ari stopped short outside the wardroom, gesturing Lucas to go in alone. "I'll be right here, if you need me," she whispered. "But the state he's in, he'd be more upset to see us both." Lucas nodded and adjusted his face before stepping in. He didn't shut the door all the way, wanting the woman to hear what was said.
Captain Bridger wasn't in a very good mood. "Mr. Wolenczak," he started harshly. "Would you care to give me an explanation for that disgraceful affair?"
"Sir?" what was he talking about. Lucas hadn't done anything recently. Well, there was that thing he did to Ari a week ago, but she deserved that after fooling with his computer. And she wouldn't have gone to the Captain about that.
"You aren't going to deny responsibility for that display on the vid screen, are you?"
"Umm, display, sir?"
"Oh, come on, Lucas. I don't mind a few practical jokes here and there, but that was unforgiveable. It's one thing to pull something innocuous on your crewmates, but to do something like that with official equipment to the Secretary of the UEO? That's too much." Lucas was relieved to see Ari step into the room, looking concerned.
"Sir?" she interrupted. "Lucas hasn't done anything recently. He's been with me all morning long, working on one of the visual comm arrays. But it was disconnected, so that what we were doing wouldn't affect the rest of the boat."
"Ensign Adler." His eyebrows rose in surprise. "You are involved in this?"
"In what sir?" she asked, her bewilderment plain upon her face. "Lucas and I haven't seen anyone for the past,... umm"
"Three hours, Ari," Lucas supplied. Turning to the Captain, he explained, "We've been working up near the computer core." In the face of their sincerity, Captain Bridger began to calm down.
"Then you had nothing to do with Secretary McGath appearing on the screens in the nude?" he asked. Ari exchanged a puzzled but amused glance with her friend.
"Secretary McGath, sir?" she asked, a smile imperfectly suppressed on her lips. "Nude? Oh, no sir. I assure you." She bit her lip hard and Lucas started sniggering at the mental image. Then he blinked.
"Ari," he asked suddenly. "Did you disconnect the array?" She gave him a suddenly suspicious look.
"No, you said that you would do it, remember?" she reminded him. He groaned.
"I know! But then Tony came in and Miguel said that he'd take care of it. I thought you and he..."
"And neither of you checked it," Captain Bridger sounded more amused than angry now, at least. He turned to Ari who nodded her head once, accepting the guilt. There was a knock on the door, and they all turned to see who it was.
"Sir?" Tim stood there, looking guilty. "They aren't the practical jokers, sir," he confessed. "I am."
"Oh, Tim," Ari said before the Captain had recovered. "You are not. I'm the one who put the targets into Brody's room. And that started the whole thing."
"Wait a minute," Lucas protested, "I helped you with that, and then helped Tony to short-sheet Tim's bed."
"You did that?" Tim sounded amazed. "I thought that Miguel had done it, so I moved his room into the showers."
"By yourself?" Bridger sounded definitely amused now, at least.
"Ummm, yes sir." Tim lied.
"No sir," Lt. Brody pushed in. "He asked me to help him." Captain Bridger looked at his Tactical and Security Officer.
"Anyone else know what's going on in here?" he asked.
"Yes sir," Jim answered easily. "The entire bridge. The com circuit is on," he told them, nodding toward it.
"Well, then, let's take this out into the bridge, if you hooligans don't mind," he decided.
Herding the culprits before him, Captain Bridger surveyed the guilty, unrepentant faces of his crew. "Any other confessions I should hear?" he asked, half-facetiously. Trey turned around, raising her hand.
"I changed Ari's uniforms so she thought she was shrinking," she confessed. "And fixed Lonnie's shower. That was the first, I think, so I guess I'm the one responsible for the jokes."
"Oh, no," Ari protested. "No, I started it."
"I fiddled with Brody's alarum, sir," Commander Ford unexpected spoke up. Everyone goggled at him, and he shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"And I helped Trey with Ari's uniforms," Dr. Smith merrily confessed. "I thought it was such a good trick," she smiled impishly up at the Captain. His eyes began to twinkle back as he realized what she meant.
"You mean, I've been on a diet for the past two weeks when I didn't need to be?" She shrugged. Captain Bridger looked around at the crew. "All right then. It stops now! No more jokes, no more tricks and you two," he glared at Ari and Lucas. "Get that array back in order, effective immediately. Is that understood?" They nodded. "Very well, then, MOVE IT!" At the sudden change in volume, they started and hurried off the bridge.
"All right, the rest of you," he ordered, "Get back to work. The next joke played on this boat will be met with a week's worth of scrubbing out the bilges. Mr. Ford, you have the comm."
"Umm, sir?" the XO asked. "Where will you be." He glared at the doctor.
"Getting some dessert," he growled, and stalked off the bridge. In the Mag-lev, he started to chuckle, startling a couple of petty officers entering on another level. A bunch of jokers, that what they were. But he'd better get down to Wendy's quarters before she did and replace the door. He had no more desire to scrub out the bilges than any other member of the crew.
THE END
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