Disclaimer: The copyright of all material contained herein remains with the original poster. No attempt is made to supercede any copyright and the Quote File maintains its impartiality under Fair Use for purposes of Comment or Review.
Random would like to point out here that all graphics are the copyright Jason and that the HTML was done by Random Companion but the quotes have all been compiled by Robert Smith? My Quotefile may be on the same site, (due to Smith?'s lack of Web space) but it is a totally separate entity.
On with the quotes!
Jason Miller jmiller6@uoft02.utoledo.edu
The Brigadier and the Doctor hold a strategy meeting high atop a catwalk early in Episode 2 -- a visually unique setting for a scene that might've been done across a desk in someone's studio-bound office.
Robert Smith? smithrj2@mcmail.cis.McMaster.CA
And, of course, the question on everyone's lips is "Why the hell *did* they climb a 30ft catwalk to chat for a bit and then climb down again?".
Daniel Frankham danielf@senet.com.au
DOCTOR: Brigadier, if my suspicions are correct, this could be a matter of utmost importance to this planet's safety. It's vital that nobody overhear what I'm about to tell you, at least until I'm sure. I don't want to start a panic unnecessarily.
BRIG: All right, Doctor, we'll talk in my office, then.
DOCTOR: No, Brigadier. I demand -
BRIG: - oh no! Not that!
DOCTOR: Yes! The Catwalk of Silence!
Luke Gutzwiller lucifer@probe.net
When duelling with Kenobi, Darth Vader says, and I quote: "I am the Master now."
Jim Vowles jvowles@eaicorp.com
Actually he says "When we last met, I was the student; now I am the Master".
Micheal Keane aexia@u.washington.edu
So, the Master's 1st regeneration, he was known as "The Student"? That would kind of suck, wouldn't it? If you were going to be picking out a sinister sounding name to be known as as you wreaked havoc about time as, the last one you would pick would be "The Student." Maybe there's a lottery the names are passed out at? "Lucky son of a bitch, he got 'The Doctor' as a title... I got 'The Waste Extraction Engineer.'"
Philip Alexander Hallard phil.hallard@english.ox.ac.uk
Density of the Daleks
Shawn E. Channell x93channell@wmich.edu
Freudian slip I wonder?
Djutmose
Yes, i also very much enjoy watching Doctor Who. I would recommend this activity to anyone reading this newsgroup. (Except for NA fans, who understandably wouldn't find the old series to be sexually titillating enough for their tastes.)
Shannon Patrick Sullivan shannon@morgan.ucs.mun.ca
Since when were the NAs "sexually titillating"?
Dononax (Donald Gillikin) gillikin@citynet.net
It must have something to do with all those pyramids on the covers of Kate Orman's books. :-)
Donald Gillikin gillikin@citynet.net
[Subject: Re: ADULTS ONLY- Check this out!]
Now, let's try to make this SPAM pertain to Doctor Who:
Paul287679120@%$#*&!+=(noreply).com
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You can press 1 from the main menu to choose from our sexy "1 ON 1" PLEASURE MENU, then:
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Call now!!! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!
(orBDpR)
[Subject: Re: My ten least favorite stories, and yours?]
Brad Filippone al019@chebucto.ns.ca
1. The Happiness Patrol
2. The Happiness Patrol
3. The Happiness Patrol
4. The Happiness Patrol
5. The Happiness Patrol
6. The Happiness Patrol
7. The Happiness Patrol
8. The Happiness Patrol
9. The Happiness Patrol
10. The Web Planet
Robert Smith? smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca
That's weird. Nine of those are in my top ten...
I guess now is about the time for me to be awfully clever and post:
1. Colony in Space
2. Colony in Space
3. Colony in Space
4. Colony in Space
5. Colony in Space
6. Colony in Space
7. Colony in Space
8. Colony in Space
9. Colony in Space
10. The Dominators
:-)
Sean Gaffney
According to my Doctor, for my height I am 55 lbs. underweight.
Can anyone top that?
Nicholas Kaufmann Quickcity@aol.com
Well, I'm 65 feet tall, weigh about a ton and a half or so. All my friends on Monster Island tell me I'm underweight. Does this top yours?
Luke Gutzwiller lucifer@probe.net
What if_ a future (post-"Enemy Within") Grace had met a past Doctor? would she try and snog, say, Colin Baker?
Alden Bates alden@bates.wn.planet.gen.nz
"_Really_ Grace, try to control yourself. I'm trying to save a planet here, not start a lucrative trade in tongue massage."
JAbood4481 jabood4481@aol.com
Anyone have meddling monk, time dam, davros, doomsday machine,mind of evil,tetraps, lazars disease, Want to trade or sell? Please.
Philip Alexander Hallard phil.hallard@english.ox.ac.uk
You may well be lucky. I think most people with Lazar's Disease tend to be rather keen on getting rid of it.
Jean-Marc Lofficier
Agreed -- likely the BBC doesn't care that much about the books because they don't think (rightly so) that they have the impact a movie has.
The, he adds viciously, doesn't this prove that the BBC doesn't consider the books canon, heh, heh, heh...
May I suggest that we introduce a variation on the 'Nazi rule' which exists in other newsgroups? It goes like this -- in any discussion, the first party to mention canon loses the argument. Automatically.
Robert Smith? smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca
And gosh darn it, I want Camfield Doctor fiction and I want it *now*! :-)
Jason Miller jmiller6@uoft02.utoledo.edu
[Warning: The following story contains incest]
The Camfield Doctor lovingly caressed the machine. The genetic loom which had brought him to life, sat quietly throbbing with muted yet potent ecstasy. Its weaves stood fully erect, looking fragile yet rock-solid. The Doctor reached out to probe them with his fingers. The machine trembled in response. The Doctor grinned wickedly.
"Ah, mother," he said to the machine. "This time, the pleasure will be all *mine*".
Elsa Frohman elsaf@pipeline.com
Dear Mr. Miller:
While we appreciate your input (dare we say "submission?") and do find considerable literary merit in this story we're sorry to inform you that it does not meet our needs at this time.
First, let me say that while we found the sexual imagery associated with the genetic loom quite intriging, we were disturbed by the implication that this was the "Camfield" Doctor, a being that we are not ready to endow with canonicity.
Secondly, we find that while this writing sample is quite brief, and within those strictures it might have been difficult to include more description, it is sadly lacking in anatomical references, other than those pertaining to the genetic loom.
We do encourage you to contact us in the future if you have other material you would like considered.
Thank you
The PMEB-EF Editorial Staff
[Subject: Re: A Friendly Guide for Newcomers]
JOHN LONG jlbc@epix.net
I called them rules from your perspective, please read it again
Robert Smith? smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca
And I corrected that mistake, because from my perspective they're *not* rules.
JOHN LONG jlbc@epix.net
From my perspective, they were rules from your perspective.
Si Jerram 95998357@mmu.ac.uk
This is making me dizzy....
Dave Stone dave.stone@ukonline.co.uk
Okay.
In my new post, coming soon, 'Rememberance of a Friendly Guide to Newcomers', I make it perfectly clear that while Smith? *thought* he was making suggestions, those sneaky rules just allowed him to think that, so that they could later catch him with his trousers down.
The so-called 'rules' that Long thought he saw, were in fact the Renegade rules from 'Genesis of the Friendly Guide to Newcomers', who, after they caught them, the rules Supreme reprogrammed back into the corpus of the rules.
The suggestions, meanwhile, all died when the Dark Smith? totalled the home planet of the rules - all of which, of course, either makes the Dark Smith? far more manipulative and sinister than we first thought or - since his didn't in fact destroy the rules after all - a prime chump who should be dragged forcibly from any game of 'find the lady' in the vicinity, etc, etc, etc ...
There. I hope that's sorted out, now.
Alden Bates alden@bates.wn.planet.gen.nz
Cool, one-line ascii art!
<|> <|> The Master's eyes.
()____)=====V Sonic Screwdriver
YYYY(O) Alpha Centauri
LLLLLL| Tom Baker's teeth
[)-i|i-{ Dalek eye stalk
........ All eight Doctors, seen from a kilometre away,
;-)
Jason Miller jmiller6@uoft02.utoledo.edu
But what about this whole notion of the Rani running a bathhouse? Don't you find such blatant voyeurism in "Who" disturbing? I mean, here you have this twisted yet nubile Gallifreyan woman, watching strapping coal-miner swatting each other with towels and washing clean their bulging muscles.
Kinda makes me wonder, "Hmm, am I sure I'm watching the right videotape?"
Greg McElhatton icedrake@erols.com
Gee. It made me say, "Gosh, that Rani sure is clever."
Trina Short trinalin@infinet.com
Greg! You are my twin after all! This was my thought exactly. My main question is, after those gorgeous hunks she had in Mark of the Rani, why on earth did she work with the tetraps? They did nothing for my oversexed imagination.
Greg McElhatton icedrake@erols.com
Yeah, talk about a step down... sure, they had four eyes, but big whoop. (Unless they also had four... um... nevermind.)
Trina Short trinalin@infinet.com
--trinalin, wondering what the natives of Miasimia Goria looked like.
Greg McElhatton icedrake@erols.com
Maybe that's where Shagg from "Dimensions in Time" came from? It explains why it took her so long to leave home (and why she'd made it so they couldn't fall asleep...).
Jonathan Blum
On the other hand, maybe Trakenites have two hearts too...
Peter Anghelides pandas@ibm.net
I have a problem disproving this, Jon, because I know so little about telebiogenesis.
Evil One zenorak@hotmail.com
I think some people misunderstood what I meant. When I said the Doctor can't change history, I meant that he can't change his own past
Lance Parkin ljparkin@aol.com
What if the Doctor *could* change his own timestream? What if, with every interference in history, he was also altering his own history? Just imagine - the Time Lords could be God like one week, backstabbing political infighters the next. The Doctor might find that he left Gallifrey because he was 'exiled' one day, or just because he was bored the next. He might be in his twelfth incarnation one day, then discover he's only in his fourth.
Nah ... it'll never happen.
Marcus Durham Marcus@zenn.demon.co.uk
Doctor Who was perhaps the most popular, certainly the most revered television science fiction programme of all time.
In many of the more relaxed parts of the world it is considered more popular than 'Star Trek', for, while it has many omissions, and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the younger, more pedestrian work in two important ways.
First, it is much cheaper, and second, it has the words 'Police Public Call Box' inscribed in large, friendly letters on the front.
Peter Anghelides pandas@ibm.net
While I'm here... a Top Ten list of Things DW Directors Must Do:
10. Listen patiently to all Tom Baker's performance suggestions, but act on none of them (see also Melvyn Bragg's WHOSE DR WHO?).
9. Encourage corridor acting.
8. Ensure that every story includes at least one escape via air-conditioning. (Pleased to see this tradition carried on in Lance Parkin's COLD FUSION, by the way. Nice one Lance.)
7. Include cameo role for Pat Gorman.
6. Resist the temptation to cast a cabbage as a companion (this was studiously ignored in the case of Mel). See also 10.
5. All sliding doors to be operated by burly scene hands (not necessarily OOV).
4. Special Sound: Dick Mills.
3. Gratuitous continuity references to be confined to one per episode.
2. Location work all on film, studio work all on video.
1. Make sure all important special effects shots are scheduled for 9:55pm studio time.
JHowell howeljer@aol.com
I was born when Dr. Who was first transmitted in the UK. As I grew up, that familliar, creepy, woozing theme music became part of the fabric of my existence. I would sit glues to my sofa watching Patrick Troughton do battle with Yeti, Seaweed and all. Later, I became a huge fan of Pertwee and then Baker. Then, one day, something strange happened. I remember it quite distinctly. Philip Hinchliffe left as producer and the hapless Graham Williams took over. This might upset and anger many of you out there, but I firmly believe that Dr. Who lost it's magic during the "Invisible Enemy" and deteriorated slowly from thereon. When, pardon the expression, John Nathan Turner got hold on the reigns and, for me, it all ended with the "Leisure Hive". Gone was the magic, gone were the characters that one cared for. This loss of magic pervaded the series during the eighties and culminated in the appalling McGann tv movie.
Magic isn't something easy to manufacture. When I think of movie magic I always think of the final 15 minutes of Close Encounters or the entire "Matter of Life and Death" 1946, as opposed to the juvenile "Twister" "ID4". Pertwee's era might well have been dogged by some pretty amateur f/x but, nonetheless, there was that something special, marvelously written scripts, good acting (Pertwee a much underated dramatic actor) and something else equally important. The seventies series, both Pertwee and Baker, were very accessible to a general TV audience. The show was produced, written and acted by professionals - people who understand the very nature of showbusiness. I found the show very hard to watch during the eighties. It became too conscious of itself and it's fans. Becoming a parody of it's past glory. It may be harsh but this is my bottom line:
MICHAEL GRADE DIDN'T DESTROY DR. WHO. J.N. TURNER AND THE SHOW'S FANS DID.
Kate Orman korman@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au
Put down the issue of DWB and take two steps back!
JOHN LONG
What a horrible way to communicate! Let's just stop using English altogether.
Eva W Jacobus ejacobus@MIT.EDU
Alors, je n'ai pas de probleme avec cet idee.
Azaxyr azaxyr@aol.com
No Message Collected
Jason A. Miller jmiller@uoft02.utoledo.edu
I nominate AOL's newsreader for the President's Medal of Freedom for this act of valor and courage and decency.
Chris Sweitzer talavera@gate.net
'The Brain of Morbius II'
starring Jennifer Saunders as the Doctress, and Julia Sawalha as Saffron Jane Smith.
"He's dead."
"What did you say, darling?"
"I said, he's dead."
"Dead, sweetie? Dead...how?"
"Someone drank off the fluid from the container. His brain dried out."
"Drank...drank....uuuuooohhhh, uuuuoooohhhh."
"Yes...drank."
"His brain? I thought it was just some giant space onion, or something....uuuoooohhhh."
"Well it wasn't."
"Sorry darling. I know you wanted to talk to him, darling... straighten him out, get him to start recycling, that sort of thing... you know...bore him to death."
"Shut up!"
JOHN LONG jlbc@epix.net
Shannon, what gender are you? Someone gave me the impression that you're a guy? From what you just posted I find that hard to believe - and if you are a guy, why is your name Shannon?
Robert Smith? smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca
John, how old are you? Someone gave me the impression that you're actually past puberty? From what you've been posting I find that hard to believe - and if you are above toilet humour, why is your name John?
Rico Augood raugo@platts.com
[Subject: Re: My ten least favorite stories, and yours?]
Sorry to say this, but only ten? There are so many to choose from.
1 The Space Pirates.
Do you really need to tell you why? It's hideous. It's like Fireball XL5 would have been, with slightly more realistic puppets and less money spent on the script.
2 Battlefield
Booom!
3 Monster of Peladon
So dull. So very, very dull.
4 The Android Invasion
That Terry Nation, eh? Not exactly the best Who writer ever, was he? This one's quite an oddball really when viewed in the context of his oeuvre. Not a single grizzled Space Security Service agent to be seen. And no characters called Tarrant, either. Still rubbish, though. Nice to know there are some things one can rely on.
5 The Web Planet
Maybe I'm being very unfair. Maybe I'm being very, very unfair. But I can promise you with utmost sincerity that I'm never going to watch this story again to find out just how unfair I'm being. Mother, mother, will it ever end?
[no Colins yet, so if course it has to be...]
6 The Twin Dilemma
Crap crap crap crap crap
Next!
7 The Dominators
I bet you thought I'd forgotten. Oh no. It would take a couple of years of intensive hypnotherapy to forget this little beauty.
8 Revenge of the Cybermen
You know Sherlock Holmes's trick of never dusting, so he could analyse the thickness of dust on his tomes to see when he last consulted them? A brief Holmesian analysis of my Revenge video shows that I last watched it over 7 years ago. This means that there isn't a single cell in my body that remains from last time I saw it. It's a good feeling.
9 The Chase
"Good day at the BBC archives, darling?" "Yes. I destroyed a Dr Who story called Power of the Daleks but left one called The Chase"
I hope that bastard feels happy.
[I probably haven't pissed anyone off yet, so it'll have to be...]
10 The Curse of Fenric
Not because it's particularly rubbish. Mainly because I don't think it's particularly anything. And yet everyone else loves it and talks about it all the time. Which makes me feel left out because I always preferred the Happiness Patrol.
What? Is that it? And I didn't have time to mention Time and the Rani, The Mind Robber, The Invasion of Time, The Wheel in Space, Delta and the Bannermen, Mindwarp, Meglos, Silver Nemesis, Planet of the Daleks........
Christopher Chantler
[Subject: Re:'The Chase']
Why don't Ian and Barbara get out when the TARDIS lands in New York in 1966 and get a flight back to London?
Roper woodhamsb@parliament.uk
I can see it now...
IAN: Hey, it's 1966! Barbara! We can get a flight back home!
BARBARA: What makes you think British Airways are going to be any more reliable than the TARDIS?
IAN: A fair point. But it's worth a shot! Well, Vicki, Doctor, it's been nice knowing you. But frankly, it looks like the Daleks are going to be frying your arses any time now, so we're off.
BARBARA: Ian! We can't just leave them like this, in their hour of need.
IAN: Er. Yes we can.
BARBRA: Oh, okay.
DOCTOR: You bastards!
(Pulls Vicki into TARDIS, which dematerialises.)
IAN: Shit. I forgot my wallet.
BARBARA: Anyway, the credit card hasn't been invented yet.
IAN: We're buggered then, aren't we.
A Dalek appears.
DALEK: Yes.
They are blown to bits. And quite right too.
...I make that three pretty good reasons.
Spigi Berman spigi@sco.com
The thing is, if I'm allowed to be just a tad bit vulgar here, I was imagining Romana I in that fluffy white garb outfit from The Ribos Operation with a err uh strap-on.
Now suddenly I'm playing a mythical and risque version of clue with all the characters being companions.
"Romana I with the strap on in the dungeon"
"Adric with the nipple clamps in the bathroom"
Keith Topping
Not really a very Brigadier type of word though, is it?! (Mind you, some would argue 'bastard' isn't either - but I'd rather like to know what he'd say if he stuffed his toe whilst shaving and cut himself.
Peter Anghelides topsham@ibm.net
He'd say, "Blow me down, Doctor, no wonder I've managed to cut myself... all these years, and I've been shaving with my feet! Call for Dr Sullivan, man, quickly. Chap with bandages
Keith Topping
Actually, we've got somebody having a pittle in DG! Another potential first for the Day/Topping team! The boys done brilliant...
Peter Anghelides topsham@ibm.net I recall Simon Lydiard's "Skaro" magazine being mercilessly lampooned for a scene in one of its fiction pieces in which Jo, erm, poos her pants at a horrid sight. (No, not the Brig stripped to the waist and shaving with his feet, but thanks for asking.)
Jean-Marc Lofficier
Hmm, your left hand never has to worry about what your right hand is doing, eh? :-)
Peter Anghelides topsham@ibm.net
*boggle* That WOULD be a first for DW fiction.
Dave Stone dave.stone@ukonline.co.uk
In a couple of days I should be switching to Demon, when I get the domain name through. I've sent a mail asking UKOnline to cancel my
account at the end of the month - but there's a distinct chance, given their track-record, that they'll cut me off tomorrow.
If they don't, we can all heave a big sigh of relief. If they do, then I might be offline for a while.
Richard Prekodravac rprekodr@mail.usyd.edu.au
Damn no don't go. I could have done more. This "t" I don't need this "t" I could have used it to keep him here longer. I could have done so much more. he robably can no here me now he' gone ra!
Jonathan Blum This brings something to mind... what do you think would be the reading tastes of various companions?
Ian McIntire imm@cwru.edu
Well, let's see. ISTR Ian reading a pulp sci-fi mag in "The Chase." I can easily see Adric picking up a copy of "A Brief History of the Universe" and spluttering with disdain. Now that you bring it up, there's one phrase I just can't get out of my head:
Richard Prekodravac rprekodr@mail.usyd.edu.au
Does RADW actually play a role or is it in a world of its own.
K Michael Wilcox kmwilcox@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu Until recently, RADW was playing Jean Valjean in "Les Miz", but the whole production was recast, and rec.arts.comics.creative has the part. RADW is, however, next in line for the lead in "Victor, Victoria".
Piers Beckley piersb@mistral.co.uk
So far. Another hundred and fifty years or so and the daleks will invade. I don't call that doing just fine.
Alden Bates
Well, since we weren't invaded by Cybermen in 1970 or 1986, shop mannequins didn't come to life in whichever year the UNIT years are set this month, and no small English villages have blown up...
Ian McIntire imm@cwru.edu
MEMO Date: 27/2/97
Dear Sirs and Ma'ams The cover stories appear to be working.
Keith Topping Keith@tooon.demon.co.uk
Of course, it's an interesting thing to speculate that should somebody want to write an NA with the Doctor going back to Androzani and he came into contact with another spectrox nest, would his body have developed an immunity to the Toxemia?
Alden Bates abates@wn.planet.gen.nz
Or an immunity to falling off radio telescopes (well, he had it in Paradise of Death.) or to having a bunch of fool Earth surgeons stick things into you until you die.
Spigi Berman spigi@sco.com Cool. Suddenly I had images of my head of a Dalek as a dectective though, like Philip Marlowe.
Daniel Frankham danielf@merlin.net.au
"It was one of those days when the pavement has more potholes than a minefield, and the sun beats down so hard you wish you could crawl out of your polycarbide thermos and sit in a bath full of slime all afternoon watching cheesy talk-shows and composing bad operas. Suddenly, the door opened. It was a woman. Her hot pink dress was tighter than a naked singularity, her hair blonde like the sand of some mined-out quarry slave-planet, her baby-blue eyes like... like some chicks eyes which are really blue. She was lying on the floor, arms and legs akimbo as if she'd been struck down by a zillion gigawatts of high-tech firepower. I'd exterminated her. I lose a lot of clients that way, but that's how it is, when you're a Dalek detective..."
Jason Miller jmiller6@uoft02.utoledo.edu
[Subject: The Claws of Axos reviewed]
- Theorizing that one could time-travel within his own lifetime, Dr. David Winser stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator -- and *vanished*. He awoke to find himself dead, facing an audience that was greatly pleased.
Cosmic Spider cosmics@total.net
[Subject: Re: Have you Registered with the ET Office Yet?]
Are you an ALIEN from another world? ... EARTH'S ALIEN REGISTRATION OFFICE wants you! You will be pleased to know that you are not alone, so register yourself with the Earth's Alien Emigration Office ASAP as you are required by the laws stipulated in the INTERSTELLAR AGREEMENT (ALF-8080-ET)
Kate Orman korman@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au
"Uh, Admiral?" called Joel. "Take a look at this."
Richard Schmieg schmieg@actrix.gen.nz
Morbius's brain was sitting in a bucket of water for years and thrown into a body quickly after being dropped on the ground. Even Sarah could have taken him on (if she was a TImelord). :-)
Alden Bates abates@wn.planet.gen.nz
Is it true that the "extended" version of Brain of Morbius features a short game of Gallifreyan "Half-ball" with Sarah and Solon using said brain as the ball? This lead up to the famous part where the Doctor asks Morbius if there were "lives before Half-ball".
Robert Smith? smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca
If there *is* a contradiction, then it only negates that particular instance, not the whole book and certainly not the whole series. And there's also the "UNimAGinable POWer" of the retcon... :-)
Ian McIntire imm@cwru.edu
INT. COAL HILL CELLAR
JOHN PEEL (over comlink)
DOCTOR
JOHN PEEL
DOCTOR
JOHN PEEL
NUALA BUFFINI
Scott Bigham dsb@cs.duke.edu
DALEK #1
JOHN PEEL
DOCTOR
DALEK #2
JOHN PEEL
DOCTOR
DALEK #1
Robert Smith? smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca
[Subject: Re: Dalek sighting on Sky?] Quite apart fropm the question of how he got up there, what I'd really like to know is, what's stopping him from falling down?
(and I must say, this really beats out that Dalek sighting in the Thames...)
Evil One zenorak@hotmail.com
I think more importantly, which I think was the point I was trying to make, is that there are many people, which may or may not include Kate, who do choose to infer that, and then feel guilty, and they're trying to find a scapegoat (e.g. the writers).
G. Branden Robinson branden@purdue.edu
Wow. Diagram *that* sentence.
Attribute Lost [On the subject of creating a new series out of rec.arts.drwho] Anyone got any ideas ? :)
Dave Versace
Sure (you didn't say anything about good ones, right? I thought not :)
I envisage a stirring human drama set again the backdrop of the Last Great Flame War (capitals are important. In fact, they're so important that perhaps it should be in all caps). People and Americans have come together in a place of peace to overcome their differences and discuss Doctor Who, a body of sacred religious texts generated before the Great Fall of '89. But all is not well in paradise, for the seeds of dichord have been sown. A group of fanatics known as the NA Canonists are spreading heresies in dark, out-of-the-way places; there are even some who subscribe to the shocking notion that Doctor Who never died, but was reborn in the mid-1990's with a kiss and an ambulance chase. And somewhere out there lurk the Flamers, sinister terrorists who will stop at nothing, not even ASCII porn and Christian fundamentalism, to bring about an end to peace.
PS: Sorry about the 'Americans' dig, but human drama's gotta have *conflict*, right? :)
Lance Parkin ljparkin@aol.com
Indeed. Americans patting themselves on the back about the lack of censorship in the US media might like to ask why *their* version of 'Moll Flanders' was twenty-seven minutes shorter than the UK broadcast.
Jon Blum jblum@Glue.umd.edu
That's simple -- it's cause the US media magnates are more scared of the public reaction to a film that requires a long attention span than the public reaction to sex and violence. :-)
Maybe we need a TV-IQ rating? "Warning: The following program contains intelligent themes, symbolism, and individual scenes more than ninety seconds long. Viewer discretion is advised."
Dave Stone dave@sgloomi.demon.co.uk
Nah. Rolf Harris for me. He's utterly great and he's ... Hang about. Oh my God. How could we have been so blind? It's been staring us in the face all the time!
Rolf Harris *must* be the ninth Doctor. We must drop the McGann chap right now and petition the Beeb forthwith with cries for Rolf. The Beeb, recognising the utter, inate wisdom and rightness of this concept will commission a million-order budget, open-ended series immediately.
Can't you see it? The Doctor sets up resonances that destroy cyberman circuitry with his special sonic wobble-board. Whole galactic alien cultures will worship him in his manifestation of beard and spectacles, a safari suit and a roller ...
Just imagine, if you will, all the lost opportunities that come from us not having had this insight earlier. Imagine, for example, in the middle of his complicated plotting in Remembrance, our Rolf turning to the camera with his unmistakable twinkle and going: 'Can you guess what it is yet?'
Please. There is no time to lose. I urge you all to write the the BBC now. Then we can truly have the Doctor that bothe we and they deserve.
Incidentally; after the fuss that was caused by someone bringing sheep into this thread, may I just say now that anyone so much as mentioning 'Two Little Boys' will be shot.
Kate Orman korman@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au Besides, I base most of my characters on me. :-)
The One zenorak@hotmail.com
Especially the companion, eh...?
Kate Orman korman@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au I admit it. My private shame. Chris Cwej is really me. I am really a six foot tall blonde hunk and expert marksman. I cannot live with this secret any longer. Please send photo.
Sean Gaffney
Ah hah! Proof at last that Jon Blum is gay! Vindication!
Ian McIntire imm@cwru.edu
No, this proves that Jon Blum is a grumpy African woman with a lousy aim and greying hair ....
Tchuss Dvak ctdvorak@nwu.edu
It must've been great being a McCoy writer. For twenty-some odd years, you see, writers had to give *explanations* and *background* to things.
According to some unnamed sources, Season Twenty Seven was to have done away with titles, and Season Twenty Eight was going to be in a different language, to add even more "mystery" to the program. Shame it was cancelled.
Jason Miller jmiller6@uoft02.utoledo.edu
And here's another TV series that's gotten lost in the shuffle -- Davison did a sci-fi kiddie show called "Dr. Who" in the early 1980s, but got fired by the BBC after causing the ratings to collapse by 67% and alienating all the fans.
dpcole@ibm.net dpcole@ibm.net
Okay, there's nothing better than a botched set of facts to make a terribly tasty cheesecake.
Davison was not fired, this 67% is merely statistical nonsense (2/3rds of the population would agree with me on this), and he was *not* alienating the fans. Alienating fans was Michael Grade's job.
I need to go now as my local PBS station is starting up a pledge break and I want to persuade them to bring "Doctor Who" back on air. And not just Tom Baker's era , either... Mind you, I'd be better off trying to get the US congress to accept gay marriage, of course but futility is my piece of resistance...
Donald Gillikin gillikin@citynet.net
a clever plot by the Cybercontroller to lead humanity into belieing that Mondas was destroyed in 1986
Lance Parkin ljparkin@aol.com
Mondas was *destroyed*??!!??!!! My God!!!!! Soon fix that. To the Lancecave!
Spigi Berman spigi@sco.com
The main guy seemed to have not a clue about what he was talking about at times and then the other guy was showing off TimeFrame and opened to a page of William Hartnell and said "Ah It's Peter Davison". Okay so he's looking at it upside down but still.
Robert Smith? smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca
Well, you've now put in mind startling thoughts about the fifth Doctor as played by William Hartnell: "Brave heart, Toy-gun, erm Tegan! Hee hee hee. Yes, Brave heart indeed!"
"That's the trouble with my generation, er regeneration. You go on long walks and strolls too, hmm? and before you arrive you never know what you're going to goat..."
"I feel like you've just destoyed an old fiend, er friend!" "Adric was on that ship! Hee Hee Hee!"
Peter Anghelides topsham@ibm.net
[Subject: Re: Doctor Who Inaction Toys] Now available secondhand from me at very reasonable prices - DW Inaction Toys (mostly slight seconds, as noted):
Adric: hands waggle for no readily apparent reason
* Perhaps left in Dapol factory or Longleat Exhibition. Or perhaps inadvertently posted an ambiguous article to r.a.dw
his "p" I don need his "p"
lease say dave lease don go
his "s" wha do I need wih an "s"
"Waldo located at co-ordinates 37 by 61, master."
From: Brigadier Winifred Bambera
To: UNIT HQ, Geneva, Switzerland
Re: Alien Interference?
--
Winifred A. Bambera
[snip]
Admiral Summerfield squeezed past Joel's inflatable model of the Enterprise and leaned over the computer. He read the posting.
"That'll be the CIA again," he said.
"Third time this week," said Joel. "You should see the email spam."
With this tiny passage in my novel, I shall return the Daleks to the position of power that they were created for. I shall possess unimaginable power! Crush the -
... lesser authors! Unlimited royalties! Yes, John, we've heard it all before.
Prepare to deploy the War Retcon!
No! John, I beg you. Don't do this. Please.
Silence! Deploy the Retcon! NOW!
War Retcon now entering retail bookstores...
DANGER! INSTABILITY! PLAUSIBILITY THRESHOLD EXCEEDED!
No! This cannot be correct!
Precisely my point. Did you really think you could get away with retconning an entire planet back into existence without it backfiring in your face?
CONTINUITY EXPOSITION APPROACHING CRITICAL MASS!
You tricked me!
You tricked yourself, John.
HOME PLANET SKARO ABOUT TO DECANONIZE!
Okay, so firstly we'll need to create the series format, the characters, and then develop the series bible, etc.
Mel: recorded voice will not switch off
Ace: slightly burnt*
Kamelion: as new, in full working order (completely inactive)
BBC Drama executives (boxed set of 47): doesn't appear to do anything
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