14 Jan 1997
rec.arts.drwho,uk.media.tv.sf.drwho
Yads
The ONLY
way to get DW back on the air is to toss out the Bord of BBC Governors, in
essence meaning tat the UK had better not re-elect a Tory
majority.
Martin Nike
Wow. I'm suprised the labour party haven't picked up on this.
New Labour New Doctor.
(As long as it's not Tony Blair.)
Graham Holland
"Bord"? Surely you meant to say "BORG of BBC
Governors"?
Luke Gutzwiller
Or the "BORAD" of BBC
Governors. One person, cleverly cloned 12 times, who plots to splice
"Doctor Who" and "Coronation Street" as part of their plan to repopulate
TV with their own foul hybrids.
14 Jan 1997
rec.arts.drwho,uk.media.tv.sf.drwho
Robert Smith?
Re: Outcry concerning Doctor
Who
I think the main outcry to be heard is usually something along the lines of "Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!"
Wed, 15 Jan
1997
rec.arts.drwho
Azaxyr
I take back everything I've ever said about the McCoy era of Doctor
Who. After rewatching the episodes, I've decided that it is the "golden
age" of Doctor Who, and I was a fool for ever putting it down.
Richard Prekodravac
Actually
I kind of think of it as dirty grey.
Azaxyr
Witness the
brilliance of Dragonfire, and the subtle nuances of such classics as The
Curse of Fenric. I would personally like to apologize to Jon, Kate, and
anyone else I may or may not have hurt emotionally with my venomous anti-McCoy diatribes. I have seen the
light.
Richard Prekodravac
the rec.arts.drwho project was
our last, best hope for ...
Brian Glen Palicia
You are Kate
Orman and I claim my Pepsi Free.
17th January 1997
rec.arts.drwho
Kate
Orman
It's true, the half-human is a cliche, drawn from a lot of
familiar mythology. But give me a lab, and I'll cook you up a plant that's
half-tomato and half-potato, and put human genes in pigs and firefly genes in tobacco plants. Given sufficiently
advanced technology - which Gallifrey probably has - a half-human Doctor
is far from impossible.
Jonathan Blum (Misatrib?)
WOW! Hey,
everybody! Kate's a GENETIC ENGINEER!!! And we thought all she could do was write books! :-)
R. Dan Henry Kate *tried* to be a genetic engineer -- why do you think she's writing books now instead? :-)
Kate Orman
To pay for my
cloning experiments, of course. "Mr McGann? I know most people just want an autograph, but do you mind if I
swab some cells from inside your cheek?"
Fri, 17 Jan
1997
rec.arts.drwho
Spice girls as companions...
Martin Day
Mel
C (she's the sporty one, right?) would be a more gorgeous version of
Melanie Bush.
Alden Bates.
Not possible. ;-)
W
Randall
Imagine the opening sequence of an episode:
The Doc
lands the TARDIS in some unknown desolate Quarry place when suddenly we hear :
"Sooo tell me where we are, where
we really really are, yeh, tell me where we are, where we really really
are.....
....what I really really want is sigga -sigma.."
Thu, 16 Jan 1997
rec.arts.drwho
Richard Prekodravac
They say yes. You
can vote for "Who Killed Kennedy".
Although the jury is still out on
the novelisation of the TVM.
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
The
Tranvestite Movie? The one starring Rupaul as the 8th Doctor and Dennis Rodman as its companion you
mean?
Kate Orman
The "its" is cute. "To us, that's rude!"-
Riker
Dave Stone
Just to be vaguely serious for a moment, a
trannssexual is and should be referred to by whichever sex he or she identifies as. Likewise, a transvestite is referred
to by whichever sex he or she's currently emulating. Terms like 'it' or
even 'hir' and so forth belong in SF and should never be used for
humans.
The Doctor, of course, being half human, might be referred to as a 'shi... - um, I think I'd better leave that thought exactly where it is.
Thu, 16 Jan
1997
rec.arts.drwho
Dave Stone (On Time
Rift)
There's going to be another one? Can I
write a scene? I have this idea about AC Chapin, a large fruit salad and
a wind-up frog ...
17 Jan 1997
rec.arts.drwho
If Dr Who were a corn series
Christopher Miles & Gravis :
How many story titles do you think we can change so that there's a hint of corn in them? Let's see:
An Unearthly Child -> An Unearthly
Corn
Remembrance of the Daleks -> Remembrance of the Corn
The Twin
Dilemma -> The Corn Dilemma
The Invasion of Time
-> The Invasion of Corn
Castrovalva -> Corn
Brad
Filippone
The Web of Ear
The Hand of Ear
The Greatest Corn
in the Galaxy
Zygn B Zygn
Let's See...we have:
The
Seeds of Corn
Planet of Corn
Terror of
the Corn
The Three Corns
-- and my favorite --
Planet of the
Corn
Corny, eh?
Andy Smith
No, no! Must resist! Can't
hold out ! Argghhhhh! The Cornerites! NOoo! make it stop!
The Reign of
Corn! The Dalek Invasion of Corn! PLEASE, PLEASE, MERCY!
The Corn Makers!
The Tomb of the Corn,
The Abominable Corn, The Cornminators! Colony in Corn! The Corn Factor,
The Mark of the Corny, The Talons of Corn-Chiang! Ahhhhhhhh!
(Beats
himself sensless with his mouse to prevent any more damage, and lands in a crumpled lump on the
floor.)
James A Hammerton
Only to be buried under a
mountain of corn that mysteriously appeared from nowhere...
Lorrill
Buyens
I *told* you guys you'd set the transmat controls for the wrong destination - now what're the farmers in Poland
going to feed their pigs?
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
They could
feed them some of Yads and Seganox's posts. That ought to hold them over
until this is sorted out...
Bill Thompson
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Where's Smith? when we
need him?
Robert Smith?
He's corn and left this
thread.
Damn Aussie cobber. Wheat better fix him real good. Who wants
to stalk him?
- Cornelious
Wal
Anderson
Better find a good cereal killer. What? Who's there?
No! STOP!
SOMEONE HAD TO
SAY I;hjkdfvgazb
We apologise for this break in transmission. Regular service will resume as soon as we've finished our cornflakes.
--- The Corn Avengers
Kate Orman
This is amaizingly corny,
Colonel.
Christopher Miles & Gravis
Well, thanks, but you
haven't provided any more DW cereals that I can slip corn
into.
Susannah Tiller
Bah! That joke's so bad I'm going to shuck it into the trash
Lorrill
Buyens
Stop it! That's enough! You guys are making me
rye...
Chris Rednour
Howzabout...
The Corn
The
Dinosaur Corn
The Corn of Time
and
Cornhusk from space
James A Hammerton (who can't believe he just wrote that)
Corn Circle
State of Decaying Corn
Warrior's
Corn-plaster
The Ears of Weng-chiang
Attack of the
Cybercorn
The Cob of Fenric
Cornfield
The Cornflakes of
Doom
An Unearthly Ear
The Corns of Nimon
Earhead from
Space
The Cornfields of Androzani
Thu, 16 Jan
1997
Rec.arts.drwho
Ross Mandell
Remember
"Sleep is for tortoises".
Luke Gutzwiller
Oh my God! Peter Davison is a tortoise!(-:
Despite the
E-Mail that a moron has been distributing throughout the Internet as we
speak, Peter Davison is absolutely not a tortoise. He is not half
tort--
Sat, 18 Jan 97
Marcus
Jason
Sat, 18 Jan 1997
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
David Margerison
The Gallifreyan
Stallion
Brigadier Nathan
Rogers
The Gallifreyan Stallion
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
rec.arts.drwho
16 Jan 1997
Re: Burning Heart: Review by the Happy
Guy
Sean Gaffney
Dave Stone
Oh ... er ... so you liked it, then. Um. Thanks very much - I'm glad someone noticed some of the bits I
sweated the aforementioned blood over.
Sean Gaffney
Oh.
You're Dave. Um. Glad you liked the review.
I enjoyed the book immensely.
Richard Prekodravac
Oh.
(Page 69-70, if you
were wondering-Random)
19 Jan 1997
Zygn B Zygn
The
Honk in Space
** I honk for Doctor Who ** -- Makes a great Christmas
Gift
Richard Prekodravac
19 Jan 1997
daearnshaw
Henry Potts
20 Jan
1997
Thomas M Kosak
Will Howells
Mon, 20 Jan 97
Phil
Hallard
Steve Biggs
Thu, 23 Jan 1997
Alden Bates
Yikes.
22 Jan 1997
Re: Time Rift - The
Novel??
I'm just teasing you...go for it.
You can have a neon TARDIS on the cover
(ha-ha)
Robert Smith? [1]
"How verrrrry con VEEEEEEN ient!!!"
[1]famous
impersonator of Graeme Burk impersonating Jon Blum impersonating Sylvester McCoy...
Tue, 21
Jan 1997
Re: TOP 10 things I learnt from
the Telemovie
23 Jan 1997
Brett O'Callaghan
Robert Smith?
Thu, 23 Jan 97
Azaxyr
Jason
Thu, 23 Jan 1997
Stephen Souter
Daniel Frankham
In one story - I think it was Banishment of the Daleks -
the Doctor explains that Gallifreyans once reproduced in the same way as
humans, but since this function was replaced by technological techniques, female characteristics have become
increasingly rare. I think he compared it to
the way moles become blind
because they live underground or something...
However, another story -
if I recall correctly _Citadel of Dreams_ - has it that all Time Lords are now born male, but a few, like Romana,
choose to wear breasts and use a highy pitched voice for aesthetic
reasons.
Thus, if it appears that there is an unrepresentatively small
number of "women" in positions of authority on Gallifrey, this is merely a result of our human prejudices, our
expectation that alien gender-groups are as symetrically proportioned (so
to speak) as local ones.
Hope this helps.
(BTW, since you're new
here, and asked so nicely to be treated gently... this is all a load of old bollocks :)
Rebecca J Anderson
Luke Gutzwiller
K. M.
Wilcox
Sat, 25 Jan 1997
Stuart Burns
(BTW I wonder if he's the
one who's going? Imagine if he went to BBC 1 - "And now on BBC 1, a treat for Doctor Who fans as we enjoy
another episode of EastEnders, starring Barbara Windsor, who once starred
alongside Jon Pertwee in Carry On Screaming! and let's not forget former
characters such as Eddie Royle who
was once a Terrileptil and Dot Cotton who played a noble lady in The Time
Warrior." I'm sure he could work a DW reference into just about any
programme he announced!
24 Jan
1997
Quickcity
Robert
Smith?
It's not too bad, as fanfic goes, but there's lots of continuty
references and the tying together of old plot threads and monsters that so
much fanfic suffers from. And it does tend to drag on a bit and is a bit
confusing in the middle.
It's known by several names, but most people seem to agree on one of them:
The Trial of a Time Lord.
25 Jan 1997
Kate Orman
Henry Potts
Lorrill Buyens
25 Jan 1997
TARDISMk40
Jean-Marc
Lofficier
28 Jan 1997
Kate Orman
Wed,
29 Jan 1997
Random Companion
Dave Stone
Fnerk.
K. M.
Wilcox
Why do I have a sudden urge to get some raison d'bran?
28 Jan
1997
Jon Blum
30 Jan 1997 Jon Green
Kate Orman
Besides certain Doctors who shall remain nameless, there's a
lamentably short list of lustworthy gentlemen in the series. They include
Chela from Snakedance, the Guard brothers, and
Ancelyn and Mordred. Of course, YTMV.
Fri, 31 Jan
1997
Marcus Durham
Alden Bates
Jon Green
Fri, 31 Jan 1997
Nick
Caldwell
30 Jan 1997
Andy Smith
And just in time for
Star wars too...
Andy,
30 Jan 1997
rec.arts.drwho
Richard Prekodravac
Marcus Durham
Robert Smith?
Marcus
Durham
Who am I?
:-)
Glenn Langford
Alex
200 irate posts on the exact nuances of a line, which
was; after all, written by a script writer, mangled by a script editor,
delivered by an actor and then cut by the
producer, didn't make me want to waste my time.
But bad puns and
implausable theories in like minded company are having their malign effect
on my phone bill.
Sun, 2 Feb 1997
Paul Gadzikowski
When I started watching DOCTOR WHO I lived in Chicago, where the
local PBS station was airing it at 1:00 pm Sunday. Now I live in
Louisville, where the local PBS affiliate airs BLACKADDER in about that
time slot. I was led to wonder - suppose Rowan Atkinson had been cast as the Doctor this year
instead of Paul McGann?
Readers unfamiliar with BLACKADDER may try to imagine the Doctor's lines
in this scene as delivered by the hornbill in THE LION KING.
(SCENE:
The park outside GRACE's house. The DOCTOR suddenly reels and falls to his knees.)
DOCTOR: Something's wrong
... I feel like my colon's being put through a sausage maker...
In the timeslot before BLACKADDER I
watch CHEF, so I wondered the same thing about Lenny Henry.
(SCENE:
Interior TARDIS - the Eye of Harmony chamber. LI is dead on the floor and
the DOCTOR is locked in the stocks. The
MASTER opens the Eye with GRACE's retinas and dashes to his reception
station.)
DOCTOR: Grace! Get back to the console!
1 Feb
1997
Azaxyr
Luke Gutzwiller
Darryl W Gillikin
So, Mr.
Smith?, how does it feel to be spawning disciples?
Robert
Smith?
"Gerrof!
You
[Take two]
"Ah,
yes, Darryl, thank you for asking. Obviously, it's wonderful to see such
bright and promising youngsters such as young Luke taking over from their elders. And it's especially amusing
when you realise that Azaxyr is actually a biomechanical construct of
Jason Miller's that went horribly wrong. I think that the more who follow
the true path, the more enlightened, and persuaded, this group will be. Just call me Monarch."
[Smith?
looks fondly around the newsgroup, smiling to himself]
"Crap! It was
all crap! Hee hee. Wait, is that thing still on...? Darryl, can you just
edit that bit out? Ta..."
Mon, 03 Feb
James Bow
Baa-da-da-da
I got the -- Kate Orman blues!
My neighbours are complaining!
I can't go home!
The whips
and chains are flying
Fri, 31 Jan 1997
Alden Bates
Engin Award for most offtopic on topic post:
Engin Award for scariest concept:
Engin Award for the "say _what_?" thread:
Engin Award for
the most innovative word in McCoy bashing:
This month's poser:
if the Doctor had a holiday and nothing bad happened, would it be
canon?
6 Feb 1997
Brad Filippone
Craig A. Reed Jr
Sat, 25 Jan 1997 Glenn
Langford
"Certainly - and please remember that your answer must be
in the form of a question."
"OK, Peter."
"For $1000 and the game -
'This is a way to get out of doing anything, particularly destroying
planets with the approval of their creators who decide later on that it was a pretty silly thing to do, really,
but it
seemed pretty funky at the time.'
"What is Having It Retconned
By John Peel?"
"That is correct - you've taken the game!!"
(Writer
suddenly runs on from stage left waving script)
"No, no, no - he wasn't supposed to *win*!"
"Security!
Please escort Mr Nation from the set, please."
rec.arts.drwho
Leviathan
Dave Stone
18 Feb 1997
R. Dan Henry
Robert Smith?
Sat, 08 Feb 97
Attribution lost:
Lisa Hilton
Keith Topping
7 Feb 1997
W Randall
6 Feb 1997
Keith
Topping
Robert Smith?
Oh, and I should apologise. I was completely and
utterly wrong. That "irony" routine now makes it *two*
jokes...
:-)
9 Feb 1997
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
The Doctor
Jim Vowles
(imagines sound of RADW
whistling a weird mix of X-files theme and Who theme... )
Sat, 8 Feb 1997
The Doctor
Dave Stone
The nerve of the bastard, running around being David at people
with
*my* surname.
Fri, 07 Feb 1997
R. Dan Henry
10 Feb
1997
Paul Shields
Jon
Blum
11 Feb 1997
Random_Companion
Marcus Durham
Ey, up, we
don't like your kind around here, Dave. You can take your sick and
depraved practices back to your own kind and leave rec.arts.drwho for the rec.arts.drwho-ish. We're a decent, God-fearin'
folk around here and we won't hold with none of that nonsense. I didn't
fight and die in six world flame wars for the likes of you to be holding
disgusting and morally wrong parties like that. Ooh, it makes me sick to the bone to think of it!
-
Sickened from Canada.
Tue, 11 Feb 1997
Keith Topping
K. M.Wilcox
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
Fri, 14 Feb 1997
Robert
Smith?
Jason A. Miller
The Camfield Doctor lovingly caressed the machine. The genetic loom
which had brought him to life, sat quietly throbbing with muted yet potent
ecstasy.
"Ah, mother," he said to the machine. "This time,
the pleasure will be all *mine*".
Elsa Frohman
While we appreciate your
input (dare we say "submission?") and do find considerable literary merit
in this story we're sorry to inform you that it does not meet our needs at
this time.
First, let me say that while we found the sexual imagery
associated with the genetic loom quite intriging, we were disturbed by the implication that this was the
"Camfield" Doctor, a being that we are not ready to endow with
canonicity.
Secondly, we find that while this writing sample is quite
brief, and within those strictures it might have
been difficult to include more description, it is sadly lacking in
anatomical references, other than those pertaining to the genetic
loom.
We do encourage you to contact us in the future if you have other
material you would like considered.
Thank you
Submit to the PMEB-EF list! It's your
destiny!
Fri, 31 Jan 1997
Dave Stone
It was brought on by that post of Yads, saying
something about how I've got banned for life or some such, mentally
cross-connected to problems with my system and server which meant I've recently been getting long periods of no posts
coming in at all.
Basically, I have this horrible - and as I say,
probably entirely paranoid - idea that Yads might have done something
nasty to my connection. Problem is, I know just
about enough about computers to know that some poor sod with no life and
who's more at home with Unix than coherence can do something like
that.
So, if the people I know could take the time to simultaneously
post to this and mail me, just so's I can k
now I'm still getting stuff out and back, I'd be more than
grateful.
I'm serious here, if not exactly in my right mind - as can
probably be seen from the rather phased and weird nature of this post
...
langas
"You have reached the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are
obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, get someone else to press 2. If you are
mentally-divergent, press 4, 5 and 6. If you are manic-depressive, press 7
and then hang up. If you are paranoid-scizophrenic, don't worry about
pressing any numbers because we know who you are and where you live."
Feel better now, Dave? :)
Wed Feb 12
Dave Stone
K. M. Wilcox
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
K. M. Wilcox
Kate Orman
Thu, 13 Feb 1997
Alden Bates
Brigadier
Nathan Rogers
Fri, 14 Feb 1997
Marks
Robert B
Alden Bates
Unfortunately, he was a day late.
Five minute fiction? Try 30 seconds. :-)
Sun, 16 Feb 1997
Dave Stone
I'm serious.
The deal is
this: The Universal Life Church believes that the proper unit of
spirituality is the individual - and, rather like those mail-order things
that make you a vicar for a couple of grand and the price of a stamp, they are prepared to ordain anyone who asks them
on the spot, for free.
Obviously, in one sense, it's just a bit of
nonsense done to prove a point - the point is that in the technical, legal
and very real sense, I am now the Reverend Dave and fully entitled to all the benefits, accreditations and
duties that accrue. I can perform marriages, I can christen people, and
lots of religious-type stuff like that. I've got the certificate saying
I'm the Reverend Dave and everything.
It's a big responsibility, but I'm more than up to the task. I am now
ready and able to minister to the spiritual needs of r.a.d.w. I will be
taking confession momentarily. Please form an orderly queue outside the
vestry.
Fnerk be with you, my children.
Sat, 15 Feb 1997
Unanswered questions - Sky Pirates!
Alden
Bates
Page 313, during the flashbacks, whe get the image
of:
Dave Stone
Incidentally, they made me cut the most horrifying TARDIS
vision - a sixties dolly-bird in a vinyl miniskirt, bopping around and
singing how she wanted a Dalek for Christmas, so she could
attach something to it's big toe ...
20 Feb 1997
Brigadier Nathan Rogers
Jim Vowles
2 Doc. He'd get captured, then
escape and run around a lot. Then he'd
get captured again, and escape with the keys to the firing mechanism.
3 Doc. He'd reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, disabling the
main guns. Jo would break Leia out of the lockup, while Unit went
shopping for stormtrooper guns.
4 Doc. He'd have K-9 take out the command staff, trick Tarkin into revealing how to
disable the main guns, trip Vader with the scarf ("The scarf will be with
you...always."), and rig the thing to blow up.
5 Doc. He'd try to
reason with Tarkin, and discover that the Death Star didn't actually work anyway, it was all a bluff.
6
Doc. He'd make a big speech at Tarkin, after riggin the computers to
*think* that was Alderaan, and let them blow up something remote.
7
Doc. He'd sadly tell Ace that the destruction of Alderaan force the Rebels to unify with galactic backing, and
ultimately led to their victory. If need be, he'd press the firing button
himself. But he'd let Ace drop a sack of nitro-9 down the shoot when Luke
actually missed with his proton torps.
8 Doc. Palms Darth's lightsabre, and threatens to kill himself
unless the firing is abated. When that fails, goes to Alderaan to warn
them of the danger, but is not believed by pretty Alderaanian scientist
until it's nearly too late.
11 Mar 1997
Aidan
Alexander Folkes
Alex
Fri, 21 Feb 97
JOHN LONG
Eva W Jacobus
Keith Topping
trinalin
My
translation:
Why did you call him Cheryl? I thought your argument was
sound until then...
Sat, 22 Feb 1997
Nick Caldwell
Glenn Langford
Sat, 22 Feb 1997
Paul Gadzikowski
Sat, 22 Feb 1997
MONEY MONEY
MONEY!!!!!!!!!! Marcus E. Durham
Sat, 22 Feb 1997
Dear Mr Pot,
Please stop calling me
black.
Yours,
The Kettle.
Mon, 10 Mar 1997
Random Companion
Mon, 24 Feb
Alden
Bates
Jason
Random: [Rises groggily to her feet and rubs the substantial lump
on the back of her head] So it was all a dream?
24 Feb 1997
Kate Orman
"You're a what?" said Sam.
"Bastard,"
said the Doctor. "My parents were never married. So I'm a
bastard."
"Fair enough," said Ace, breezing in
explicably through the scene.
Tue, 25 Feb 1997
R. Dan Henry
I thought that was in the charter.
Tue, 25 Feb 1997
Jonathan
Blum
Ian McIntire
Mon, 24 Feb 1997
Richard Prekodravac
K. M. Wilcox
Thu, 27 Feb 1997
bhk@tm.net.my
Alan "oops" Taylor
Thu, 27 Feb 1997
PackMan
Wed, 26 Feb 1997
Jonathan Blum
Peter Anghelides
"Don't laugh, Liz. Y'know, the P'Tang Fnarg race of the planet Blum IV are
completely blind and deaf, but can communicate entirely through the four
billion tastebuds on their seven foot tongues. I remember accidentally
spilling a jar of Hellman's mayonnaise
onto one of their sacred scripts, and being hailed as the greatest poet
in forty of their generations."
Must dash, I can hear BBC Books beating
a path to my door. Not.
Sat, 1 Mar 1997
Aidan Alexander Folkes
Thu, 27 Feb 1997
Alden
Bates
Audra
2 Mar 1997
Keith Topping
Robert
Smith?
"Dude!!! You really suck, man,
you know that?"
Expect the bill from
my therapist soon...
Fri, 07 Mar 1997
Bruce Greenwood
To begin with, you
need a calculator, a small piece of copper wire, and a source of
virtually unlimited power. Glue the wire to your calculator. Drop the
other end of it into the VUPS. Then, enter the equation E=mc^3 into the
calculator using your current standard reality quotient (in omegas, or rassilons/3.144 if using imperial) and the
localised gravity flux as your base measurements. In no time at all, you
too will have a working TARDIS!
This has been another fine service
provided by MasterMoney(tm).
* If you
don't have a power supply, or don't know what your current standard
reality quotient is, then merely leave $1000.00 in small unmarked bills
behind the toilets at King's Cross station on a Wednesday before 3pm, and
we'll give you all the help that we can.
MM(tm)
"This page copyright 1997 Random Companion, all graphics copyright 1997
Cosine Systems. Reproduction of this page in whole or in part without
prior permission from Random Companion forbidden"
rec.arts.drwho
Meanwhile Im chuffed
because my new TV aerial is picking up Anglia loud and clear. And
considering I live on the South West edge of the Carlton region I think
thats pretty impressive. Thats what you get when the bloke who installs the aerial
looks the spit of Pat Troughton!
The only down side is
that you're now receiving *next* weeks shows and the sounds a little
distorted. A sort of wheezing, groaning quality to it...
rec.arts.drwho
I've
heard Microsoft is making a new Internet all-in-one called K9 97
[hiding]
And about as reliable as the original I'll bet......:)
Oh thats just great isn't it.
Dunno. I'm going to get a copy^H^H^H^H^H borrowed version
:)
Lets face it, were all going to go out and buy K9 97 the moment it comes out, and
then be forced to upgrade to a Pentium Pro with 250 Megabytes of RAM just
to run the basics!
Wouldn't that be
256 megabytes :) I mean with 250 you might be able to run the browser and the time rotor, but not much else.
But with 256 you'll be able to turn your computer into a full blown dog on
wheels (complete with laser for zapping annoying people, like siblings
:)
Ah. I love Dave's books ...
10/10.
What ?!? What do you mean you hated it!?!
I'll have you know I sweated *blood* over it after nearly slitting my wrists halfway through! The trouble with people like you is
you wouldn't know a well written book if it bit you on the bum! Take it
back or I'm going to go round your house with a can of gasoline and
...
Hey!
Wait a second, Gary! You make take these reviews seriously, but I don't!
They're just my opinions for God's sake! I don't influence the group as a whole, and there's no way that I
influence whether people buy the book or not. And I'm not a critic,
either, I'm a reviewer. Now I've said it a thousand times...
Hey!
It's not worth losing your head over!
rec.arts.drwho
If Doctor Who was a horn series, we would have episodes such as:
Carnival of Horns
Horns of Nimon -- (No change there
:) oh..Niiiiiimmmoonnnn)
The Invisible Horn
The Tomb of the
Horns
An Unearthly Horn
Planet of the Horns
Earth-honk
Four to Honk
Ressurection of the
Horns
I'm not sure about this but I
believe some fans complained about the beeping in
Transit and Iceberg. :|
rec.arts.drwho
Since you mention
them, why do the Fifth Doctor's braces (Cultural change. I hope the Doctor
doesn't wear what I think of as suspenders) keep swapping from side to side in "Planet of Fire"? I can only think that he
keeps taking them off and then putting them back on again.
What's
going on?
Well, you see, there's this
attractive, nubile, young woman called Peri and...
do you know the birds and the bees bit? :)
alt.drwho.creative
I am
looking for a Dapol Film Dalek.
Have you
tried the lonely hearts columns?
rec.arts.drwho
I had a dream last night about the Other's pet duck.
I
think I ought to see some kind of specialist.
A
quack?
alt.drwho.creative
Sad
is...
When you read Altered State and try to work out exactly when the
Doctor got changed out of that silk kimono that Daleks made him wear in
chapter 5.
rec.arts.drwho
TheLeisHiv
Are you sure you want to embark on
another Time Rift project? Remember the border of insanity you almost
crossed when making the video.
And the quote at the top of the
back cover can read:
rec.arts.drwho
22. YOU CAN NEVER BE =TOO= CAREFUL.
Marcus E.
Durham
23 - Always check
the scanner.
24 - Get a companion and send *her* out of the TARDIS
first.
25 - Wonderbra's are cool
26 - The new Daleks are played by
Alvin and the Chipmunks
27 - America is a dangerous place. You might
get shot!
28 - Wheres a robot dog when you need him?
29 - Beware of Chinese kids with large machine
guns
30 - Beware of people who are doing silly Terminator
impressions
31 - Without the beard the Master's abit crap
really
32 - Never let an interior designer loose on the
inside of the TARDIS
33 - Dont let your new console be designed by
Amstrad.
34 - Nyssa is far far more attractive than Grace.
35 -
The Doctor is half Gallifreyan.
36 - If you wear the special DIT 3D
glasses you can catch Mr Blobbys secret
cameo in the TARDIS.
rec.arts.drwho
It works if
you try to think as a TV Executive.
Bret,
Brett, Brett. I've *warned* you about these oxymorons...
rec.arts.drwho
No, I'm just an
insomniac.
So am I, it keeps me awake at nights
worrying about it...
rec.arts.drwho
Basically , i think there are two
possibilites , either Gallifrey is patriarchal , male-dominated and
sexist, or else there aren't very many Time-Ladies in the first place .
What does anyone else think?
Your second supposition is correct. Due to a quirk of
Gallifreyan genetics, only about one in a hundred Gallifreyans is born
with the features that, on Earth, are known as "female secondary sexual
characteristics". Since Time Lords don't have and raise children in the way we do, breasts, for example, are somewhat
redundant.
And the Seventh Doctor would
be Death of course, and the Eighth... well, he'd have to be Vain Beauty,
wouldn't he?
The First Doctor would have to be Extreme Annoyance, the Second would be
Bugger-All-This-For-A-Lark, and, in my opinion, the Sixth Doctor could
only be Eyesore. The Fourth would undoubtedly be Shemp.
No, the Fourth would be Ringo.
The fourth of anything is Ringo. [Insert smiley here]
Like the Four
Horsemen: War, Pestilence, Famine, and Ringo.
uk.media.tv.sf.drwho
Advertising for presenters? Where did you see this? Perhaps we should all apply and send in photos of
ourselves in Cyberman costumes or something like that. Show them we could
out-fanboy the fanboy they've already got.
rec.arts.drwho
While there is no on-screen evidence to back me up here, I've always thought
of Time Lord society as an oppressive government. I've also wondered why
there's never been a Gallifreyan revolution, where the regular folks try
to depose the Time Lords. Or is that in some fan fiction or novel somewhere?
Actually, yes. There's a piece of fanfic available where
the high council are deposed towards the end of the story. Their schemes
are exposed and their various mistakes brought to light.
rec.arts.drwho
Read it again, Henry
- I'm not saying *I* can cook you up a half-human, half-Gallifreyan;
No? What about a
cheesecake then? :)
Half-human,
half-cheesecake? You *fiend*! B-)
rec.arts.drwho
This may sound like a newbie question, but what is retconning?
You can't do it unless you're named John, Jon or
Jean(-Marc). It's a rule.
alt.drwho.creative
##### # # ## ## ## ## # # ## # # ##
# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #
##### # # # # # # # # # # ###### # # ###### # #
# # # ## # ###### ###### ###### ###### # # ###### # # ######
# # ## ## # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #
##### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #
(Or,for those
of you with proportional fonts, "Bwa ha ha!"
rec.arts.drwho
... Dave Stone will utter the occasional Fnerk and once in a
while say something that makes you realise that he's a lot smarter than you
...
I think you've
just exposed my entire raison d'etre, Random.
Ewww!! Put it away, put it away! Thanks a lot, Random!
[Insert smiley here]
rec.arts.drwho
Poster 1: The
McCoy era sucks.
Poster 2: Why? I loved 'em. What didn't you like
about 'em?
Poster 1: I hated this, this, and this...
Poster 2: But if you look at the stories, that's
not what happened!
Poster 1: Help! Help! I'm being
oppressed!
rec.arts.drwho
Totty? Totty? Did I hear
*Kate* saying totty?
Totty, totty,
totty.
rec.arts.drwho
Oh bugger me.
This is getting silly and a waste of my download time.
People in glass houses, Marcus. :-)
Shouldn't have sex....
rec.arts.drwho
Well, no, but I just had the astonishing mental image of
Ben roaming around his house, sleepwalking,
Homer style, muttering "Must destroy manuscript. Must circumvent reader's
expectations. Must eat.. donuts!"
rec.arts.drwho
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
IT'S NOT OVER YET!!!!????? I figured after a month away, somebody must have crossed the finish line and
forgotten to tell me! Here I've been lounging around in this grimy space
port feeling sorry for myself after getting hopelessly lost in an asteriod
belt. Quick my clone legions, revive yourselves! Rev up the engines! We can still make it!
Who wonders if anyone's ever flown into
those three paragraphs at the beginning of the movie. I mean, come on,
there're just sort of floating aimlessly in space; somebody's gotta hit 'em eventually...
Help needed - milkman
wanted.
Hey does anyone happen to know who played the milkman in Survival?
I cant remember. My memory isnt what it
was but I could swear I once knew somebody who knew the bloke who played
the milkman.
I'd like to nominate this post
for something, since I believe Marcus has now reached new heights of pointlessness... :-)
Did I...Shall I....Bugger I cannot remember.
I just got a vision of a newbie starting
off on radw with this thread and going
"whafuck?"
It was just this sort of exchange that
sucked me in.
alt.drwho.creative
GRACE:
Can I help?
DOCTOR (looks her up and down): A little mouth-to-mouth
couldn't hurt. You ARE a doctor.
... Wait. Wait. I'M the Doctor. Should I be giving myself mouth-to-mouth?
What a disgusting image.
GRACE: You're the Doctor?
DOCTOR
(standing): Yes - and you look a little pale. Let me help. (kisses GRACE)
There, that's given you some color. Let's
do it again. (kisses her again) God I've missed Earth. (reels on his
feet) Someone has opened the Eye of Harmony!
GRACE: What does that
mean?
DOCTOR: It means that, unless it's shut again before midnight,
this whole planet will be sucked into it
like human waste flushed down the lavatory. (he is then distracted by
looking at Grace again)
CUT TO:
(SCENE: Interior TARDIS, the
MASTER and LI standing at the open Eye of Harmony. The Eye is displaying
the DOCTOR's P.O.V. of GRACE's cleavage.)
LI: I recognize that woman.
GRACE: If I
don't free you you'll die!
DOCTOR: Well, thanks for the thought,
Grace, but I don't really fancy being rescued
only to be sucked out of existence thirty seconds later along with an
entire solar system like it was soapsuds down the bathtub drain! So if you
don't mind I'd really prefer if you got your colonial keester in there and
saved the world, if it's not too much trouble, thank you very much!
(GRACE of course has listened
intently to this, and runs to the console room only when he
stops.)
MASTER: I'm draining your memories, Doctor!
DOCTOR: Oh,
good - are you getting the bit about the pus blister plague on Cylindricon VI? I could do without the Sirius dog brain stew one
from 2186, too. Is there anything that compares to a brontosaurus passing
gas? Hey, how about that elevated train that derailed in the Chicago Loop
right on top of the 1998 St. Patrick's Day Parade, what fun, eh? Of course the memories I'll miss the least
are the ones with YOUR ugly faces in them!!
rec.arts.drwho
Yes Jon, we have
heard all your propaganda before, but that doesn't stop you from keeping it up every chance you get,
eh?
Yes Azzy, we have heard all your
propaganda before, but that doesn't stop you from keeping it up every
chance you get, eh?
[Darryl puts on a brown trenchcoat, dusts off his old high school media
credentials, and shoves a microphone into Robert Smith?'s face]
[Smith? peers at microphone and
then notices camera. A hadn reaches out, blocking the view]
rec.arts.drwho
I'm sorry, folks, but this thread's title is putting a Blues
theme into my head.
Let's see how far I can go with
this:
I ain't got no room!
Baa-da-da-da
I ain't got no doors!
Baa-da-da-da
Kate Orman burst in and
knocked the Doctors to the floor!
Baa-da-da-da
And that ain't no joke!
Baa-da-da-da
Right
now I think she's got Paul McGann's head in a yoke.
Baa-da-da-da
About all the noise!
Baa-da-da-da
SylDoc is
screaming that he ain't somebody's toy
Baa-da-da-da
Kate's taken it all!
Baa-da-da-da
There's some weird guy with feathers standing guard in the Hall.
Baa-da-da-da
And chocolate sauce too!
Baa-da-da-da
That's the last time I hold a party and invite the
last two Doctor Whos!
rec.arts.drwho
On the first month of 1997, RADW gave to me: 243 last words on
retconning, 149 remembrances revisited, 134 McCoy eras, 71 returns, 68
evaluations, 67 remembrances, 62 Philip Segals,
61
Jon Blums, 60 virgins, 59 recons, 56 continuities, 55 announcements,
53 editorials, 44 devolopments, 40 NAs, 38 warm nights, 36 Colin Bakers,
35 unwritten rules, 34 weekly stats, 33 fathers and brothers and a fanboy
in a small inflatable TARDIS.
Spice Girls as
companions...
If Dr Who were a
porn series...
5th
Doctors torrid sex with Helen A!
Cack! [Applied liberally
to any and all stories in season 24 by the looks.]
rec.arts.drwho
And while you're at
it, buy anything by John Peel and Kate Orman. (OK, you two, where's my
money?)
John's put all his money into
Skaro Furtures, while Kate is trying to single handedly corner the Chocolate sauce market........
rec.arts.drwho
"Ooh, Peter - can I please have 'Things That Allow For
The Possibility That K9&Co Doesn't Count' for
a thousand?"
I take it
this means I don't get smothered under Dorothee MacShane?
Nope. You get horribly murdered in a really
horrible way involving a toilet and an impossibly powerful vacuum pump.
You also star in the absolutely worst joke I've ever written,
involving the name 'Mr Sheen'. Brit readers
will know what I mean, here ...
rec.arts.drwho
You forgot sock
puppet shows. It isn't *really* Doctor Who until somebody re-enacts it
with sock puppets.
At last!
More fuel for my theory that Timelash is the ultimate DW
story!
rec.arts.drwho
The Brigadier
did travel in the Tardis in Three Doctors, although not in the usual way. The Tardis, with the Second Dr and the Brigadier were
transported to Omega's Black Hole when it came in contanct with a giant
blob of jelly. (no, really, I'm serious...)
Do
you mean it was jammed?
Unless, of course, they were orange giant blobs of jelly. In which
case it would have been marmaladed.
rec.arts.drwho
Ohh:
Ro, Ro , Ro
Romana,
Gently down the stream.. "
rec.arts.drwho
How y'doin' Smithy me old mate? Nice to see that for one
person on this group at least, irony *isn't* what they do to their shirts
after washing...
*tips*hat*
rec.arts.drwho
"The
Yads Files" Every week, Dave Stone and his assistant, Sgloomi Po, investigate weird
instances of Yads. In the pilot, they discover that "coherence is out
there". :)
Keep off the whiskey, there is a good
fellow.
This week: we investigate the strange disappearance of the Aaronovitch
Papers, and find out a bit more about the role of the mysterious
Tofu-Eating Woman in their recovery...
rec.arts.drwho
David Stone just
earned himself a ban for LIFE!!
Quite right,
too.
rec.arts.drwho
In the episode of
"Xena: Warrior Princess" set in the 1940's Ares is kept imprisoned by "The
Eye of Hephaestus". Let's see, a god held prisoner by an artifact "Eye" named after another god... It's a blatant rip-off of
"Pyramid of Mars"!!!
And what about ER. All those people called
"Doctor"!!!
And the Superbowl!!! The players are so obviously modeled
on the Ogrons!
And this post!!! Clearly
ripping off "The Sunmakers"!!!
rec.arts.drwho
Note to all the
mad, jealous inadequates who like to hassle Jon:
He's just made a
mistake here. Write it down quickly in your note books. This is the moment you've spent your lives preparing for.
I have to make at least one a year -- it's in my contract.
:-)
rec.arts.drwho
Wasn't anything else that made you hallucinate then, Dave?
Holding disgusting season 24 parties no doubt! ;-)
rec.arts.drwho
I haven't got a
good side, Random, haven't you heard, I'm the devil incarnate...?
It could be worse. You could be
Devil Con Carne. [Insert smiley here]
Or even worse, Doctor In Chocolate*
:: hiding ::
* This
is not a Kate Orman running gag.
alt.drwho.creative,rec.arts.drwho
And gosh darn it, I want Camfield Doctor fiction and I want
it *now*! :-)
[Warning: The following
story contains incest]
Its weaves stood fully erect, looking fragile yet
rock-solid. The Doctor reached out to probe them with his fingers.
The machine trembled in response. The Doctor
grinned wickedly.
Dear Mr.
Miller:
The PMEB-EF Editorial Staff
rec.arts.drwho
Possibly it's the
beer, the all-nighter I'm pulling on SoF, or the after-effects
of the car that clipped me a few days ago, a couple of hours after after
having a lovely long rant at at the Fitz at Random and Jason (no real
damage, for anyone who cares, but I got incipient blood-poisoning off the
pavement that had to be treated pretty damn pronto) ... anyhow, I've got this case of utter and possibly
clinical paranoia.
This all of a sudden reminded me of a very weird answering machine message I found on the net
somewhere. It went sort of like this (apologies to whoever wrote it for my
misremembering);
rec.arts.drwho
I think you have to take the 'p' off the end of the email
address. It's a spambuster.
When busting spam, remember that you must _never_ cross the streams. It
would be bad. [Insert smiley here]
But not if fighting the Marshmellow Man or the Spam Monster
:)
Which gets me to
wonder how a Who/Ghostbusters crossover would look. Hmm. What would
happen if the boys in beige opened up on the Tardis with their proton
packs?
It would be bad.
rec.arts.drwho
Alden "Not Marcus" Bates.
Yes, but are you canon? :: hides ::
alt.drwho.creative
I'd like to see somebody write a death scene for the Doctor.
Not bothering
to check the scanner, the Doctor sprinted boldly out of the TARDIS, hoping
for a glimpse of the last spectacular sunset before the Earth plunged into
the sun.
rec.arts.drwho
This is just to let all you lovely people know that I am now,
officially, a Man of God. I have been ordained. I am now the Reverend Dave Stone.
rec.arts.drwho
"A thick-set, slightly jowly man in a striped shirt and red braces, with an expensive grey-tinged haircut and with hard,
cold eyes..."
I don't recognise this description. One of the
pre-Hartnell Doctors perhaps? :-)
It is, of
course, Mr Michael Grade, that being the one
being in the universe capable of totally destroying the
TARDIS.
rec.arts.drwho
If the
Doctor landed on the Death Star, how would he foil the Empire's plans to
blow Aldaran (sp?)
1 Doc: He'd claim it was a mistake to get involved, then Ian would
punch out a stormtrooper and get chased around a bunch. Meanwhile,
Governor Tarkin would fall for Barbara.
uk.media.tv.sf.drwho
Isn't "I'll get me coat" what Lewis says in
Morse quite often?
-... ..-- .-- .... -.--
.-- --- ..- .-.. -..
.- -. .
. ... .-.. .- -. -.. .. -. - .... .
--- ..- -. .-. .... . -... .-. .. -.. . ...
... .- -.-- - .... -- --
rec.arts.drwho
What a horrible way to communicate! Let's just stop using English
altogether.
Alors, je n'ai pas de probleme
avec cet idee. J'oublie le plupart de ce que j'ai appris de francais,
mais je peut le lire et les autres peuvent me comprendre. Il y a aussi des avantages d'utiliser francais - David Yadallee est
eloquent quand il ne parle pas son langue natif. Shannon, David McK, et
moi, nous pouvons discouter des choses mathematiques du Who. Merci,
cheri, pour cet idee merveilleux.
I love it when you talk dirty...
That's telling 'im Eva! (Um what are you telling him?)
'Allo, Jenny passed problematic ideas. Jubilantly plural
DCK (ooooh, another Acronym. Meaning Doing Casual Kicking - often used in IRC - that's Internet Relay Chat) Jay
appreciates Francis (oooh, a little risque, eh, Eva?), mice jump the lira
(sounds even kinkier - rodents AND foreign money. Eva, what took hold of
you to say this???) and the others
prevent me understanding it. If I an Aussie with avantages of using
Francis (woah-hoh!) - David Yadallee (the same in any language,
shamefully) am as eleoquent as quantities of illness participate on
language natives. (That sounds like a run on sentence Eva. Are you sure you proofread this?) Shannon (good man - not many
like him on the net), David McK (he's cool too, for a math person), and me
(being Eva), never prove discounting the choicest mathematics of the Who.
Thank you, Cheryl, for this marvelous idea.
rec.arts.drwho
Indeed. For
instance, I used to think that YMMV meant: "Your Move,
My Victim" which gave some of the discussions here a somewhat different
flavour!
I think I like your meaning
better!!
rec.arts.drwho
*I've* always wanted to see Leonard Nimoy in his STAR TREK makeup singing "It's Not
Easy Being Green".
uk.media.tv.sf.drwho
You are Abba and I claim my
4 free Swedes :-)
rec.arts.drwho
rec.arts.drwho
Crap effects are a preference in what is known as Fan-life...
rec.arts.drwho
Random: Yes, it's true!
Marcus and Alden both look at
her oddly.
Marcus: Wot? So you _did_ blow up
the toilet?
Random: no...
She whisks off the wig, alters her voice
and somehow loses three inches in height.
Random: I am
Mel!
Marcus: Oh Gawd.
Alden faints.
Hey, Marcus, can I write
the next episode?
Marcus, if *he* writes the next episode I want to write the one after and retcon
it!
Jason: [Hic!] Yesh,
here 'ave a drinky...
rec.arts.drwho
"I'm
a bastard," said the Doctor.
rec.arts.drwho
The role of fandom
is keep people with no lives busy.
rec.arts.drwho,alt.drwho.creative
This brings something to mind... what do you think would be
the reading tastes of various companions?
Well, let's see. ISTR Ian reading a pulp sci-fi
mag in "The Chase." I can easily see Adric picking up a copy of "A Brief
History of the Universe" and spluttering with disdain. Now that you bring
it up, there's one phrase I just can't get out of my head:
"Waldo
located at co-ordinates 37 by 61, master."
rec.arts.drwho
Does RADW
actually play a role or is it in a world of its own.
Until recently, RADW was playing Jean Valjean in "Les Miz", but the whole production was recast, and rec.arts.comics.creative has
the part. RADW is, however, next in line for the lead in "Victor,
Victoria".
alt.drwho.creative
Great Tourist Destination:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Malaysia: The Tranquil
Land of Enchanting Beauty
Great
Tourist Destination:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deva Loka: The
Tranquil Land of Enchanting Beauty Stretches & stretches of almost identical looking jungle like stuff. Or is
it tropical forests? Who can tell, under those hot hot
suns?
Multi-Racial Harmony. Well, there's the Kinda, but they don't
talk much, and a couple of English blokes. Oh and Nerys Hughes.
She's Welsh, so that makes it Multi-Racial.
Beautiful
Cultures. Some of the local women are quite good
looking.
Well-preserved historical & religious monuments. Not quite
how Mary Morris would like to be described, I'm sure, but
a more respectful description than "wrinkled old bat".
Peace &
Harmony among different races. Not.
Great weather. You might almost
think that the entire planet was indoors.
Malaysia is a great tourist
destination that flourished on political stability and welcomes all visitors with hospitality unequalled anywhere
else, except possibly the dark places of the soul where the Mara hangs
out. That sort of place isn't a great place to go. Apart from anything
else, you'll be faced by representations of your own subconsious, and we all know how embarrassing that can
be, don't we boys and girls?
alt.drwho.creative,rec.arts.drwho,uk.media.tv.sf.drwho,sci.space.policy,alt.sci.physics.new-theories,alt.sci.planetary,uk.misc
Recent
accolades....
uk.misc "Grand Wazzock"; demon.local "Fuckwit of the
First Order"(2/97).
rec.arts.drwho,alt.drwho.creative
(I'm always fond of starting threads which could give authors neat
throwaway references for future books. :-)
Well, you chose a good subject line then, Jon. It sounds like the
Third Doctor at his most improbable:
rec.arts.drwho
Cheese is the Sandwich of Rassilon.
rec.arts.drwho
Is "I need the Doctor's body" not a double entendre
then?
For some of us, it's our raison
d'etre... :->
rec.arts.drwho
That's *it*! The
solution to your Devil Goblins problem:
Lethbridge-Stewart looked at
the traitorous man before him.
"You suck."
Gee, thanks. Now I have an image of Nicolaus Courtney
staring at the evil villian, moustache twitching slightly and saying (in
that inimitable 'old soldier' voice):
alt.drwho.creative
Yes, folks -
MasterMoney(tm) is proud to present the instructions for building your own
TARDIS absolutely free*!