Fantasy Rules Battles

Thinking about it, the debates that go on about the T&T Rules have a lot of parallels to Fantasy Combat if you use your imagination . . .

The Field of Battle (the topic) is choosen and the challenge issued with, "I have an idea . . ."

Strike, "AH! But what you said is flawed because . . ."

Parry, "No. Your arguement against what I said is wrong because . . ."

Thrust, "That's not realistic!"

Dodge, "You misunderstood me . . ."

Dirty Fighting, "Ah, but I'm speaking from first hand knowledge . . . "

Block, "That doesn't apply here!"

Marshalling Allies, "So-and-so had a good point which supports my arguement . . ."

Feint and strike, "You have some good points, but here are the problems with them . . ."

Spellcasting, "Well, according to section 47.12, paragraph 2 of the rule book . . ." (Invoking the holy writ of the T&T rules.)

Martial Arts, "Well actually, according to historical records, the stride of an Arabian horse was approximately .5 of an inch over that of the typical European variety. The volume of the horse's mane and tail hair caused a noticable wind-resistance, etc., etc." (Basically the reciting of obsure related facts in such an authoritative way that everyone else just thinks, "By Khazan's Unkempt Beard! This guy knows what he's talking about!")

Blind-Fighting, ". . . and to elaborate on my point . . ." (the person just carries on, oblivious to any comments opposing.)

Closing in for the Kill, " . . . But by your own arguement . . ." (A well executed closing can often end the battle.)

Shield-Beating, "Well, I've been playing T&T for over 10 years!"

. . . which continues for a while until it eventually ends with . . .

The Kill, "Ack! You are right after all!"

The Yield, "I don't agree, but you argue better than I do . . ."

The Retreat, "Um . . . I don't have time for this anymore . . ."

The Truce, "We both seem to have been trying to make the same point . . . "

Divine Intervention . . . Ken says, "Cease these petty, mortal squabbles! This is the way it is. I have spoken. So mote it be!"

. . . and most commonly, combat breaks because a more attractive target presents itself and the fighters trundle off to bash a common foe. "Guys? I think that since there is chainmail and plate mail there should also be paper-plate mail . . . that makes sense, doesn't it? And what about changing the name of the game to Goblins & Goulash?"

CHARGE!