GENTLEMEN:
I have perus'd your late mathematical prize Question, propos'd in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy for the ensuing Year, viz: "Une Figure quelconque donnee, on demande d'y inscrire le plus grand nombre de Fois possible une autre Figure plus petite quelconque, qui est aussi donnee."
I was glad to find by these following words, "L'Academie a juge que cette Decouverte, en etendant les Bornes de nos Connoissances, ne seroit pas sans Utilite," that you esteem utility an essential point in your enquiries, which has not always been the case with all Academies; & I conclude therefore that you have given this question instead of a philosophical, or, as the learned express it, a physical one, because you could not at the Time think of a physical one that promis'd greater Utility.
Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and thro'you, if you approve it, for the serious enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, etc., of this enlighten'd Age.
It is universally well known, that in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human creatures, a great quantity of Wind.
That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanyes it.
That all well bred People therefore, to avoid giving such offense, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind.
That so retained contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c., often destructive of the Constitution, and sometimes of Life itself.
Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting or in blowing their Noses.
MY PRIZE QUESTION THEREFORE SHOULD BE: To discover some Drug, wholesome and not disagreeable, to be mixed with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural discharges of Wind from our Bodies not only inoffensive, but agreeable as Perfumes.
That this is not a chimerical Project and altogether impossible, may appear from these considerations. That we already have some knowledge of the Means capable of varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of onions, shall be able to afford a stink that no company can tolerate; while he that has liv'd for some time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may anywhere give vent to his Griefs, unnoticed. But as there are many to whom an entire Vegetable diet would be inconvenient, and as a little quick Lime thrown into a Jakes will correct the amazing Quantity of fetid air arising from the vast Mass of putrid Matter contain'd in such Places, and render it rather pleasing to the Smell, who knows but that a little Powder of Lme (or some other thing equivalent) taken in our Food, or perhaps a Glass of lime water drank at Dinner, may have the same effect on the Air produc'd in and issuing from our Bowels? This is worth the Experiment. Certain it is also that we have the power of changing by slight means the Smell of another discharge, that of our Water. A few stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreeable Odour; and a Pill of Turpentine no bigger than a Pea, shall bestow on it the pleasing smell of voilets. And why should it be thought more impossible in Nature, to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water?
For the Encouragement of this Enquiry (from the immortal Honour to be
reasonably expected by the Inventor) let it be considered of how small
Importance to Mankind, or to how small a Part of Mankind have been useful
those Discoveries in Science that have heretofore made Philosophers famous.
Are there twenty Men in Europe this day the happier, or even the easier
for any Knowledge they have pick'd out of Aristotle? What comfort can the
Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his Bowels! The
knowledge of Newtons Mutual Attraction of the particles of matter, can
it afford ease to him who is rack'd by their mutual Repulsion, and the
cruel Distentions it occasions? The pleasure arising to a few Philosophers,
from seeing, a few times in their Lives, the threads of Light untwisted
and separated by the Newtonian Prism into seven Colours, can it be compar'd
with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a day,
by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels? Especially if it be converted
into a Perfume; for the Pleasures of one Sense being little inferior to
those of another, instead of pleasing the Sight, he might delight in the
Smell of those about him, and make numbers happy, which to a benevolent
Mind must afford infinite Satisfaction. The generous Soul, who now endeavours
to find out whether the Friends he entertains like best Claret or Burgundy,
Champagne or Madeira, would then enquire also whether they chose Musk or
Lilly, Rose or Bergamot, and provide accordingly. And surely such a Liberty
of ex-pressing one's Scent-i-ments, & pleasing one another, is of infinitely
more importance to human Happiness than that Liberty of the Press, or of
abusing one another, which the English are so ready to fight and die for.
In short, this Invention, if completed, would be, as Bacon expresses it,
Bringing philosophy home to men's Business and Bosoms. And i cannot but
conclude, that in comparison therewith for universal and continual Utility,
the Science of the Philosophers aforemention'd, even with the addition,
Gentlemen, of your "figure quelconque," and the Figures inscrib'd
in it, are, all together, scarcely worth a
FART-HING