Below is one of more funny letters I have gotton and my replies, I hope you enjoy:
due to the influence of your page and many
others, I took it upon my self to light my fart!! it was my first and it
kicked ass.... there was a big whooosh when I lit it and a big orange flame!!
see, the thing is, I had a date with this girl last night, and I took her out
to this dance from 8:00 to 11:00... anyways, the whole damn time i was holdin
in every fart I had!!! when I got home I let em all loose, and lit one of
em!! I think there mightve been a little back draft, because after I lit it,
my ass was really warm. oh well, it was fun. thanks for fixing the web
page!! bye bye man
I replied:
I'm very proud of you. Don't you hate it when you have to act mature
around girls and people of importance? I mean you can NEVER bust a fart when you need
to. Damnation i tell you!
He replied:
you are right in one sense, that being that we can never fart around girls,
but on the other hand, its really good when you can hold em in for a long
time, and then have like 15 minutes where you are doing nothing but
farting!!! i have a question about fartlighting.... is there anyway, that
if you fart, and it is a good powerful one, that even if you have chothes on
that the flame could move towars your ass instead of away from it and burn
you on your butt?? or will the flame always move in the direction of the
fart... which would be away from your ass??? oh well, thanks for all the
responding. one more question. i have heard that eating "fish" will make
your farts smell worse than any other food.... is this true?? if not, what is
the best food for making farts small bad?? and what is the best food for
giving the most amount of gas??? well i hope you can answer to these
questions.... I will recap them all for your convience.
1) is there anyway, that if you fart, and it is a good powerful one, that
even if you have chothes on that the flame could move towars your ass instead
of away from it and burn you on your butt?? or will the flame always move in
the direction of the fart... which would be away from your ass???
2) i have heard that eating "fish" will make your farts smell worse than any
other food.... is this true?? if not, what is the best food for making farts
small bad??
3)hat is the best food for giving the most amount of gas???
thanks again man, its nice to know that there is someone out there that has
the same passion of farting that I do.... bye bye
I then replied:
Fart friend,
I have developed some answers to your questions here:
1. Even if you have cloths on, if the fart is massive enough, it will
still emit a nice blueish-red flame out of your ass. But i also heard a
story from my father about his college days. he told me his friend lit a
fart and the flame totally backfired and burnt all of his butt hair and
singed his skin. So be carefull.(this is the main reason why i rarely
light my farts)
2.I'm really not sure about "fish" and giving off gas. But for the most
gas ever, i eat a large bowl of navy beans and ham. After about 3 hours,
the most gas imaginable comes upon you! You will be farting all night
long!
3.I would like to answer your "What food gives you skinty farts?" here:
I was eating all this food last night. I ate a million UTZ Potato
chips, with MILK! YES MILK! About 20 minutes after this i had the most
stink-filled gas ever. My mom almost beat me. As a matter of fact after
last night i think my family likes me less.
I hope i was of some help. I think i'm going to post your letter up on
my web page when i get the chance. So check it out soon!
-rothy
Then he replied:
thanks for answering all of my questions.... you were a big help, and now I
know what my diet will consist of for the next few weeks or so. Here's another question... does the gas (methane) in farts tend
to rise or sink?? Thanks... bye. Oh, bye the way, I love the idea of you
posting my letter on a web page of yours. And do you have some kind of WAV
player?? If so, I can send you all of the WAV files that I have of farts, for
your listening entertainment. You could also put them on your web page. Bye
for now!! Don't forget the question(s)!!!
Finally I replied:
I have nothing more to say. I have spen more time writing to you than on ym school work. Good day.
