The Silence of Sorrow

Twilight looms now outside the window of the empty room, and yet I sit alone listening to the silence as the sounds from earlier this day echo in my mind. Today I witnessed history as I saw before my eyes a scar upon the earth slowly heal. I saw a place that once was Hell drift away into silence.

I was there. I saw it with my own eyes. Be careful what you wish for, it might come true. It came true. I was there. There is no way to express what I saw there. Words are not adequate for such purposes. It has to be seen as I saw it, but you can't for I was close, too close perhaps. No the public can not go where I was. They can not see what I saw, a bleak patch of earth, scorched and littered with debris. However, the horrid scene of chaos that is ground zero was not the worse part, far from it! On that site there is a balcony, a simple wooden deck where I witnessed it, the most horrid thing in the world, the silence of sorrow.

Their faces were bleak and stained with tears. Large unflinching eyes gazed upon the scene before me, only occasionally glancing at me as I walked past. Mouths hung open as if to speak, but no sound came out. No words were spoken and the tears were all gone. This was the silence of sorrow. All the sleepless nights and hours of tears had taken their toll. In the silence of sorrow only grief remains. When all emotion is drained you enter a world of dreadful silence where the world around you makes no sense. It almost seems like a dream, a horrible dream from which you never wake up.

In the silence of sorrow I met a girl. I saw her only for a second, but that second is forever locked in my mind. All I remember about her was her face. Her hands covered her mouth as her panic stricken eyes gazed into mine. She remained silent as we slowly walked past each other. I remember how her arms and hands slightly trembled as she walked by me. She was in a state of shock, unable to react to what she saw, yet how could I expect her to respond any different. Somewhere in that desolate field before her, somewhere at ground zero, her mother, father, brother, sister, someone she cared for, someone she loved . . died.

I wanted so much to turn back around and face her hoping that perhaps one kind word or simple gesture could ease her pain, ease all their pain. I wanted so much to do something, to contribute in some way so that in my mind at least I knew that I did something. I wanted so much to be useful, to help these people in some way, but I am just one person what difference could I make? I was doomed to only watch the tragic scene unfold before me as the silence of sorrow consumed them all.

A light breeze now filled the air and the flags, angels, and pictures before me began to dance and sway. Then suddenly a slight yet distinct . . . smell . . . was detected on the wind. I could feel my stomach begin to turn and insides knot themselves up. In my mind I prayed to God that my worst fears had not come true. I prayed to God that I was wrong. These people around me their mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, sons, daughters, friends, and loved ones all died here in this field now littered with somber, yet sacred scraps of steel. Not all of them were found, some will never be found.

I wanted to help them all, but I couldn't. I have never felt more helpless in my life. Slowly I walked back to the car with only my footsteps breaking the silence.