Thanks to Knarf, I have a new page just about, if they decided to re-master Star Wars...

Before I start, I want to thank Knarf for letting me use these! THANKS!!!!!
The Top 14 Suprises in the Re-Mastered "Star Wars"
(sorry Knarf, don't like one of them...)


14. New scene in which Chewie teaches Han Solo how to lick himself
13. Mist of Darth Vader's seems to have helped his breath immensely
12. Added scene in which Tonya Harding whacks Princess Leia on the knee with a lightsaber.
11. Luke accused of killing ex-wife and advised by Obi-Wan to "Use the Fifth, Luke"
10. The commerical tie-in appearance of Jabba's big brother, Pizza the Hut
9. Newly-colorized Darth Vader is mauve
8. C-3PO has a conspicuous "Intel Inside" sticker on his shiny brass ass
7. Han, Luke, Obi-Wan, and C-3PO now sporting bitchin' goatees
6. New scene where Luke shakes JKF's hand and tells him he has to go pee
5. Jabba the Butt-head sayin, "Hehe...hehe...she said, 'Lay ya'"
4. During one lonely night, Princess Leia finds R2D2's special attachment (ewww, that's just nasty)
3. Anti-fur activists from planet PETA spray Chewie with red paint
2. The x-Wing pilot who blows up the Death Star? Richard Jewells


and now the number one surprise in the re-mastered "Star Wars" is...
1. Dis-membered victim of Obi-Wan Kenobi's lightsaber in bar scene is none other than John Wayne Bobbitt

Well that's all I have to say about that...