By Angela M. Pike

As far as I (Ange) knew Chel had rarely if ever had a surprise for her birthday or Christmas. My thoughts on this were, Not this time, Buster.

I thought, what could I do to surprise Chel for her birthday August 13? Earlier in the year around Memorial Day I received a e-mail about a new SMK (Scarecrow and Mrs. King) Zine that had just come out. I was intrigued by this, but never had the inclination to buy one at that time.

I kept the e-mail about the SMK Zine in my in-box all summer long. Then with the suggestion and encouragement of a friend I decided to order the latest SMK Zine for Chel for her birthday. When I received the SMK Zine a few days before her birthday, I decided to go ahead and read the Zine in fear that if I didn't read it before I gave it to Chel I would never ever see it again.

Now Chel doesn't exactly like to be left in the dark. I told everyone I knew what I got Chel for her birthday, most of our friends on the net and some of our friends in person. I told everyone EXCEPT Chel. She would badger her friends and I constantly on what I was getting her for her birthday. The more she pestered us, the less we would say.

The SMK Zine was not the only thing I had up my sleeve for Chel's birthday. One of the things were some pictures of the one and only Bruce. I could not afford nor find any true photos of Bruce, so I did the next best thing I could. I bought some photo quality paper and printed some pictures off the net. I knew that Chel would like them just as much as some actual photos.

You would think that the SMK Zine and pictures would be enough for Chel for her birthday, but I didn't. I had to get her some refreshments didn't I? I knew that Chel loved peach wine coolers so I bought her a pack of them and her kids some cream soda. I bought these a few days in advance in order for them to chill in the refrigerator. And what would a birthday be like with out cake?

The day before Chel's birthday I had made up my mind to get Chel a special cake. When I saw the cake I had thought about getting her come through the line that day at the grocery store where I work I knew that was the one I was going to get her. So on my break, no less, I go over to the bakery and order her cake.

Now, I could have anything written on it I wanted. Of course I had them write "Happy Birthday, Chel" on it, but there was something else I wanted to have written on it, but I didn't know if I had the nerve to tell them to write what I wanted on it or not. Then I told myself, 'What the heck!' and told the guy what to write on it. I explained it was an inside joke and he just smiled and wrote it down on paper to put on the cake later. I had done it.

Later that night, the day before her birthday, Chel called me all excited. A friend of ours from California had sent her some small photos of Bruce she had taken years ago on the set of SMK. I had gotten some photos earlier in the summer and Chel had become jealous. Now Chel had gotten some pictures of her own and some that I didn't even have. They weren't the greatest photos, but hey they were of Bruce! It doesn't take much to make Chel happy.

I was happy that Chel had gotten her photos, but what she told me next took me by surprise. She told me that she had ordered some SMK Zines. I said "You just sent an e-mail, right?" and she said, "No, I sent her a letter and a check."

My first reaction was "Oh, my god no!" Then I mumbled something like, "that's good." Next thing I knew, I was listening on the phone running throughout the house like a caged cat. I was stomping my feet and cursing under my breath while I listened to Chel continue to tell me how excited she was about ordering the SMK Zines. My parents were saying, "What, what? What happened?" "Nothing," I said through gritted teeth. I continued to listen to Chel and every once and awhile absently say, "that's nice" or "oh really."

After I talked to Chel and before I went to see her at work, I realized that this was not the end of the world. All I had to do was to get a hold of the lady selling the SMK Zine and explain to her the situation. Still it seemed as if the universe was trying to throw me a curve ball or something.

My dad told me to tell Chel right away so she could have her check canceled. My mom said, "She's just baiting you. She probably knows what you got her and is trying to see if she's right or not." I was bound and determined to keep her SMK Zine a surprise no matter what.

I went over to the local video store where Chel works and hung out with her until about 9 p.m. knowing full well that I had my work cut out for me to have everything ready for her birthday the next day. I still had to print out a picture or two, wrap up her pictures, read the rest of the SMK Zine (a fifty-page story) and wrap it up.

When I got home that night I got on the net. I told a mutual fried of ours from the net about what happened with the SMK Zine. She is a friend of the lady who sells the SMK Zine and she told me she would help me straighten everything out, which made me feel better. She said Chel could get a different Zine for her money. Then after a while Chel expected me to work on her web page. Not that I mind too much, but Chel can get demanding at times J .

Needless to say by the time I got off the net it was 12:30 a.m. and I was just getting around to reading the last SMK story. It was a very good story and it was hard for me to put it down. Then when it got to the most important part it was 2 a.m. I knew if I didn't put it down and get, some, sleep I would be a bear the next day. So I put it down and went to sleep for awhile.

The next day, Chel's birthday, I got up at 7 a.m. because I had to change a tape for the Alfred Hitchcock marathon on tvland for my dad. (Alfred Hitchcock has the some birthday as Chel and would have been 100 years old this year.) Anyway, I was already up so I decided to go ahead and read the rest of the SMK story. It took me until almost 9 a.m. to finish it and I still had to get a shower and pick up the cake around 10 a.m. I was on a tight schedule that morning.

Around 10:10 a.m. I'm at the grocery store picking up my cake. Then of course I have to show some of my buddy's at work the cake. They all just laughed and giggled over it. Some people didn't expect me to do such a thing. When I left the store I stuck the cake in a paper sack so I could hide it from Chel until I was ready for her to see it.

It had been decided earlier in the week that I would go to Chel's house early in the day to open presents, eat cake, and then watch SMK videos and hang out with her and her two sons who did not go back to school until Monday.

I got to Chel's about 10:30 a.m. or so, about on time. I told her I would get there between 10 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. so I was doing pretty good. It took awhile for anyone to greet me at the door, but finally one of Chel's boys came out to give me a hand. I let him take a peak at the cake and he giggled. "Mom's going to love this."

Chel was thrilled that I was there. I started to keep the cake on my lap in fear that she would look at it before I was ready for her to see it. She finally convinced me to put it on her kitchen table promising me that she would not look at it until I was ready to let her see it. We had to wait a few minutes to get things going until John Michael, Chel's co-writer and friend, arrived.

She had three presents from me and one from John Michael. He gave her The Ammityville House book. Being the horror fan that she is she was very happy to receive it. The moment of truth, my presents were shortly at hand.

Somewhat as a joke, I had wrapped up some of the 'scrap' pictures of Bruce that I had printed off the Internet. A week or so earlier I had brought a picture of Bruce on a regular piece of paper and was fumbling around with it without much thought. Chel yelled at me, "Don't wrinkled that, it's Bruce." So now if I have any 'scrap' pictures of Bruce I print out I let Chel have them to pile up on her desk instead of mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Bruce fan, but I can't keep everything that has to do with him.

Just as suspected Chel loved these 'scraps' not realizing that the next present contained the better pictures. When she did open the good pictures you should have seen the look on her face. It was a very stunned look. She didn't even realize they weren't real photos. I said, "Chel do these pictures look familiar?" And she said, "No, not really." I said, "I just printed them off the net." "Oh, my gosh, I didn't know that." Then of course, John Michael had to put his two cents in and say they need lightened up and stuff, but Chel didn't seem to mind all the much.

The next present was her SMK Zine. I have to admit the thought had crossed my mind to make Chel wait until late in the day before opening her SMK Zine. I was afraid that if she opened her SMK Zine, she would want to read it instead of celebrate her birthday with her friends. But I'm not the mean, nor could I get that jealous over a zine.

Now she had felt of all her presents before she had opened them, but this one seemed to intrigue her. She said, "I think I feel a binder or something. This must be a book of some kind." She still had no clue that it was the SMK Zine.

The look on her face when she opened this present was both excitement and horror. The first words out of her mouth were, "Oh shit! Shit! Shit! I just ordered this yesterday." I calmed her down by telling her that I had it taken care of. All we had to do was get in contact with the lady selling the SMK Zine and explain what happened. Chel took a deep breath and a sigh of relief.

After the interesting fiasco with the SMK Zine, it was time to unleash the final present, THE CAKE. We made Chel sit on the couch and close her eyes. Slowly we placed the cake on her lap. We helped her slowly take the cake out of the sake and told her to open her eyes.

Now when she had opened her SMK Zine Chel's the look on Chel's face was something to be seen. But the look on Chel's face when she opened her cake was absolutely priceless. Her first reaction was "Oh my lord!" "Ah!"

I suppose you are wondering, "What on earth was on this cake!" Okay, I'll tell you. The cake itself was decorated with a beach scene. Then up at the top sat a plastic doll of a man in little swimming trunks. Granted the doll didn't really look like Bruce, but hey he had sandy brown her and reminded me of Bruce.

The plastic doll must have reminded Chel of Bruce too or…was it what I had written on the cake that had caught her attention. You see written on her cake were the words: "Happy Birthday Chel, Love Bruce." Boy was Chel shocked that I had that written on her cake. She loved it to say the least. She winked at me and said she would have to 'eat' Bruce later. I thought, Chel, Chel, Chel, get your mind out of the gutter.

From them on out the day was pretty easy going. John Michael had to go to work. Then Chel fixed us some lunch and we drank wine coolers, got on the net once and awhile, and watch SMK videos. Eventually her husband came home and fell a sleep on the couch. Chel and I continued to talk for quite awhile. She told me that this was one of her best birthdays ever which made me feel really good. I stayed until about 7 p.m. when I finally got hungry and decided to let Chel spend some time with her family alone.

I have to admit that Chel was a very good girl that day. When she had first opened her SMK Zine she had skimmed through it and had looked at all the pictures, then she actually put it down and didn't read it until later keeping her family and friends entertained the best she could throughout the day. Every once and awhile she might flip through it, but she never actually sat and down and read it until much later.

I don't really know what happened after I left that night. What I do know is that Chel was not on the net anywhere that night, which was to be expected. I figured that either her husband was giving her some attention or she was reading her new SMK Zine (take your pick). From what I understand she was up until 3 a.m. reading her zine and that she eventually did get on the net and talked to our friend from California for a bit.

The next day Chel went to work and things seem to go back to normal, but I don't think Chel will ever forget this birthday. Chel had quite an interesting birthday. There is only one problem though, What will Chel do for MY BIRTHDAY (September 23)! I don't even think if I WANT TO KNOW J .

THE END

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