TAFLAGANIDE
The Home Page for the World's Nastiest Foul Fluid
First off lets get this quick message over with:
This message does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; you may distribute this message freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this message is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; message is provided "as is" without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity message; no shoes, no shirt, no message; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees 7Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this message could be hazardous to your health; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician; may cause drowsiness, alcohol may intensify this effect; use caution when operating a car or dangerous machinery; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; objects in mirror are closer than they appear; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, Baas, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X\rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply; contest ends 12\31\97; contents measured by weight only, contents may settle in transit and most importantly KIDS DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!
This page is dedicated to the most foul substance ever made by man...Taflaganide. During the 96/97 year everyone at our table during lunch has worshipped the stuff. Now below are a few links to the Taflaganide Chronicles, the TaflaganideX homepage, our download area and Lizard Surgery, a freaking weird place that actually is almost as weird as us. Enjoy.
-Taflaganide Council of Elders Official Publisher
[Also note that the stories listed are true, the names and faces have been changed to protect the stupid]
Taflaganide X Administration Home Page
The Taflaganide Consumption Pact
The Taflaganide T-Bomb Records
The Imaginative Productions Official Website
56 Months Remaining on MotherBatch Detonation Countdown Initiated May 29, 1997
Please send any comments to Taflaganide Master
This Page was last updated on 8/08/2002
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