Title: Angel
J/C Rated 'R'
Author: L.S. c/o gouldie@geocities.com
Written 05/97
"Enough of this, Kathryn!" she told herself. If she allowed herself the luxury of tears, she wouldn't be able to stop. She stared out at the passing stars hoping for the calm this usually brought her, but the tears welled up anyway, spilling over in slow, wrenching sobs.
Composure, when it came, was fragile and hard won. She scolded herself into it, making herself get up, blow her nose and find something to keep herself busy. She was about to get herself a comforting cup of her favorite coffee blend when her door chime sounded.
If she had been thinking, she would never have opened the door, but thinking she was not.
"Come." she called out and promptly regretted it. She must look awful, but it was far too late. Chakotay entered the room, PADD in hand.
"Captain, here's that report you "
And then he caught sight of her.
He tossed the PADD on the desk and was beside her before her next breath.
"What is it, Kathryn?" he asked in that soft, gentle voice. She shook her head a little, not trusting herself to speak. He touched his fingertips to her chin, lifting her face to look into her eyes. She wrenched away from him like a wounded animal, part of her praying he would go away and another part praying he wouldn t.
Chakotay was Chakotay. He stayed. He hadn't the foggiest idea what to do. She looked so small standing there at the window with her back to him: his beautiful Kathryn, small and lost and hurting.
Acting on instinct alone, he went to her and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, turning her into his arms and drawing her head to his shoulder. For a moment, she resisted, holding herself rigid. But he was warm and strong and solid. He was stroking the back of her neck with his thumb and rocking her slowly, not saying a word. And that fragile composure crumbled. The tears began again, silently this time, but heartbreaking to the man who held her.
After a time, the weeping subsided and Kathryn became aware of the steady beat of his heart and the firm pad of muscle beneath her damp cheek. She sniffled a bit.
"I got you all wet." she said softly.
"I don't mind." he reassured her.
"Starship captains aren't supposed to fall apart like this." Her voice was still muffled by their embrace, but she made no move to break it.
"That's the problem, isn't it. What captains are and aren't supposed to do."
Kathryn didn't answer. Chakotay led her to the window seat and drew her to him again.
"We've been here a long time, Kathryn. Too long for anyone to be able to hold herself apart from other people like you have. I m not sure how you managed for so long."
"I don't have a choice, Chakotay." She stated flatly.
"If we were in another situation that would be true, but here the rest of the crew is all there is. You need to let someone in. You need a few real friends who'll love you no matter what and look you in the eye and tell you when you're being a jerk."
"Chakotay! I can't just "
"You have to. You can't live like you have been. Do you want to spend sixty four years feeling like you do right now?"
She shook her head, blinking rapidly to dispel the moisture that threatened to spill over again.
"I know you can't pal around with just anybody, but surely your senior staff members are an option. No one will begrudge you that. "
"I have you," she pointed out, thinking she'd scored one.
"Yes." he agreed, "That's partly true. You give, Kathryn, but only so much and you won't let me give anything in return. Nothing beyond what duty demands. You're going to have to change that if you want to survive. I don't have to be the one you choose to let in, but you have to find someone you can."
He brushed a kiss against her forehead and rose. "I won't lecture you anymore tonight," he said, "but I m here if you want me. Either call me or come to me. I'll be in my quarters."
Kathryn watched him go. She knew he was right, but knowledge and the ability to put it into practice were two different things. She hadn't been so scared since she was a first year cadet.
She was never quite sure afterward whether Chakotay had sent her or B'Elanna stopped by on her own, but there she was with the power consumption report.
The Captain's pensive expression had thrown the chief engineer a bit. "Did I come at a bad time, Captain?" B'Elanna asked. Now that she thought about it, Janeway looked kind of pale, as if she were coming down with something. Her eyes looked funny too. "Um are you OK?"
Janeway smiled. Not the usual bright grin, but B'Elanna's concern was heartwarming.
"No, you're not interrupting anything. And I m fine." Alright, it was a fib, but only a little one. It would keep B'Elanna from worrying. Here came the nerve-wracking part "But I could use some company. If you're not busy."
Shyness? From Captain Kathryn Janeway? This was too strange! Torres had been planning on tracking down a couple of very minor yet annoying glitches she'd noticed today, but there was no way she was leaving now!
"So what did she really want?" Harry asked at breakfast the next morning, still slack jawed with surprise.
"Nothing" B'Elanna replied. "We just talked. It was fun. I don't remember ever doing that before. Except maybe with Seska, but it was never for enjoyment. More to keep the hatred for the Cardassians and the resentment for the Federation going."
"Well I m relieved." Tom remarked, trying a bite of what Neelix claimed to be scrambled eggs.
"Relieved?" B'Elanna frowned at the remark.
"Why relieved?" Harry questioned.
"Because she's alone all the time. She and Chakotay are friends and they could be more if they d both quit being so stubborn, but women need girlfriends to do all that woman stuff with."
B'Elanna shot him a dirty look, but Harry was nodding. "Yeah. When my cousin was in her teens they lived in an area where there weren't any other girls her age. She kept on saying she was going to go out of her mind without anyone to talk to."
"Oh, come on!" B'Elanna exclaimed. "I made it this far without!"
"Yes," Tom agreed, "You said yourself that you d never done it before and you don't miss what you ve never had. But now that you have would you really want to go back to never having a nice chat with another woman?"
"You've got me there." she admitted tasting her "eggs" too, since Tom hadn't complained yet. "These are nasty!"
"He's made worse." Harry, the eternal optimist stated. He'd all but finished his meal.
Tom laughed, enjoying the presence of real friends. "Just for the record B Ela, I m glad for you too."
The door to Kathryn's quarters slid open. Chakotay stepped in and stopped abruptly. She obviously wasn't ready for the concert yet. The back of her dress wasn't completely zipped and her hair was down. All the way down. She had it over her shoulder, brushing out it's still damp from the shower length.
"Sorry, Chakotay. I got busy reading and lost all track of the time. I ll be ready in a minute or two. I just have to put my hair up."
That V of bare ivory skin was going to cause a truly embarrassing reaction in him if that zipper didn t get fastened soon.
"Here," he said, stepping up behind her. His warm fingers brushing between her shoulder blades as he ran the zipper up the track caused her heart rate to soar and she held back a sigh of pleasure. "Why don't you leave your hair down. It's pretty."
It was much easier to go along with the suggestion than trying to form a coherent answer. Besides, she rationalized, they d be late if she stopped to put it up.
The concert was lovely and the following reception enjoyable, but it was getting late and both Kathryn and Chakotay had the early shift in the morning. "Can you come in for a minute?" she asked as they approached her door.
Chakotay smiled, recognizing her request for what it was. She had made no pretense of having a work related reason for inviting him in. "Sure." He replied but wisely refrained from further comment. She seemed a little nervous as she replicated coffee for the two of them. It was utterly irresistible. He ached to touch her.
Kathryn handed the cup to him and settled in beside him on the couch, tucking her feet under the hem of her skirt. It didn t take long for her to notice him watching her.
"What is it, Chakotay?" she asked.
"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are, Kathryn?"
She blushed a lovely apricot shade. "That's very sweet, but I think you're exaggerating quite a bit."
"I wish you could see yourself the way I do," he told her moving closer. " You d understand then that there is nothing about you that's anything less than beautiful." He lifted his hand to her soft cheek, tracing the contours gently. "Special and wonderful ," he leaned toward her. "And beautiful." His lips brushed hers lightly, giving her time and permission to draw back if she didn't want this yet, but she returned the exploratory caress with one of her own. It was magic, the fulfillment of a thousand wishes and daydreams.
They made it last, kissing again and again until Chakotay finally drew back. He smiled that heart- wrenching smile of his as he took in the attractively disheveled hair and kiss swollen lips.
"As incredible as that was, I think I d better say goodnight," he said. "Are you free tomorrow evening?"
She smiled back. He was wearing her lipstick. "Yes, I am."
"Would you like to have dinner? I ll buy." He held his breath, half expecting her to go professional on him. Instead she stood and held both hands out to him. He took them, allowing her to pull him to his feet and step into his arms.
"I d like that," she answered. "One last kiss goodnight?"
Astonished, Chakotay happily obliged.
So that's what she was grinning at! Chakotay looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. That particular shade looked marvelous on her, but pretty silly on him! He removed it almost reluctantly and went into the bedroom to change feeling absurdly happy.
As he settled into bed he made a silent promise to Kathryn. "Don't worry Angel. I love you and I ll make sure that nothing you're not ready for will happen."
What to wear? Kathryn rummaged through drawers searching for something appropriate. She wanted to look feminine, but not too dressed up. Here! This sweater was perfect. It was made from fine, soft yarn in a pale pink with a V- neck and fastened down the front with a dozen or more tiny pearl buttons. It was waist length and fit quite nicely, as she recalled, the light knit draping attractively, but not blatantly over her breasts. Paired with black pants, it would be just right. She'd have to find the right bra though. The neckline of the sweater, while not openly provocative would require an undergarment that followed the same lines. She had one with a front closure somewhere. Top drawer. There it was. Pink like the sweater and pretty rather than functional, it didn't offer much more than moral support. Weren't there panties to match? Yes, here they are. Wondering why it mattered since she had no plans for Chakotay to see either piece of clothing she headed for the shower.
Dinner was a delightful event with easy conversation and good food, but this was even better. Nestled against his side, his arm holding her close, Kathryn relaxed in Chakotay's undemanding embrace.
"I could get used to this very easily," he told her.
"Me too," she agreed tipping her head back to look at him. She looked marvelous and smelled even better. No perfume, just warm, clean Woman. He didn't even try to resist the impulse to kiss her. She welcomed his mouth on hers, letting her tongue slip out to caress his. He drew her closer, turning and lifting her until she was half reclining across his lap, his chest pressing against hers. He supported her with one strong arm, stroking her face and neck with his free hand.
It had been a very long time since she'd felt like this. Attractive. Desirable. He was kissing her and his hand was moving slowly down the length of her neck. She made a low, wanting sound, deep in her throat.
Oh, Kathryn, he thought! That little love sound she made was almost his undoing. In her position, she must be able to feel how much he wanted her yet she didn't move away. Her skin was so soft! He allowed his fingers to begin tracing the V of her sweater.
She gasped sharply as his hand slid lower. At her reaction he stopped and looked into wide blue eyes. She smiled and brushed the back of the roving hand with her fingertips. She had only been startled. He smiled back and then allowed his eyes to drift down her body. The tip of her breast pressed against the knit of her sweater.
"So beautiful ," she heard him whisper and did not protest when his hand covered her. He kneaded her very gently for a few moments and then stilled, simply holding her softness. They stayed that way for a long time, calming, but still close, intimate.
"It must be pretty late by now." Kathryn said quietly. "I suppose I should go get some sleep."
Chakotay helped her sit up and smoothed her tousled hair. "Do you suppose we could find some holodeck time in the next couple of days?"
"I think so," she said, rising. He followed her to the door and bent to give her one last kiss.
"Goodnight, Kathryn. Sleep well."
When she was gone, he headed for the bathroom and a very, very cold shower. He doubted it would do much good, but he was going to have to do something about the state he was in or turning over in bed was going to be like leaning a bicycle against the kick stand.
Kathryn ran laughing across the meadow with Chakotay close behind her. Soon she'd let him catch her and he would carefully lower her into the tall, fragrant grass where he'd kiss her senseless. This was a favorite game for the two of them. It was silly and older than who knows what, but they didn't care.
She'd been such a solemn child and had missed out on such things. Chakotay had taught her to play again. He loved watching her run like this, long legs flashing beneath the hem of the light summer dress she wore, wisps of chestnut hair floating around her face, escaping from a single braid down the center of her back.
For several weeks they d been coming to this place on the holodeck to run and play and learn about each other. They fed each other's yearning to be nurtured and helped each other forget, just for a little while, that there was such a thing as responsibility. They discovered a sweet, pure love that had very little to do with the sexual although they slowly experimented with that as well.
Today, lying in the sun, feeling that they were the only two people in all the world, he kissed his way from her soft lips to the place where the buttons on her sun dress began.
"Did you bring your suit?" he asked.
"Mm hmm."
"Ready to walk down to the lake?"
"No fair, Chakotay!" Kathryn called out in mock indignation. Their splashing had gone way out of hand from her perspective! Chakotay's hands were twice the size of hers and when he skimmed them over the surface she didn't stand a chance. Another sheet of water came at her.
"Enough!" she laughed, "Stop already!"
"You're going to have to come over here and make me," he teased.
Kathryn dove, swimming under water and surfacing before him. "Time to fraternize with the enemy," she told him steadying herself with her hands on his shoulders. Her body floated against his in the most tantalizing way. He pulled her closer and her soft breasts grazed his chest. She wound her leg around one of his, bringing their hips into contact. Not so very long ago he would have shielded her from the knowledge of the effect she had on him, but now they simply let themselves enjoy it.
Wordlessly, he scooped her up, carrying her to the blanket they d left on the grassy bank. He set her down and they sank to the ground until they were lying on the blanket facing each other. He tucked a damp strand of hair behind her ear and let his hand linger on her cool cheek.
"I love you, Kathryn," he whispered to her as those gentle fingers left her face to follow the edge of her bright blue tank suit from her shoulder to that spot just above her breasts and back again, the heel of his hand grazing the fullness there. He tucked his thumb beneath the strap and began to ease it slowly down her arm. She watched his face as he removed the still wet cloth and saw there combined wonder, love and desire.
He filled his hands with her, stroking, caressing. The tips tightened, nestling into his palms as if finding their home. Their breath came quick and harsh. He slipped down to kiss her there, suckling softly. Little love sounds came from her and her hips began an instinctive, involuntary rocking motion.
Chakotay slipped his thigh between her legs, gradually moving it higher until it pressed against her, giving her a way to ease a bit of the sweet ache, all the while continuing the other kisses and caresses. She arched and shuddered, crying out with her wild release. He cuddled her close, kissing her, rubbing her back, bringing her down gently, then drew back a little to look into her eyes, but she looked away quickly.
"Kathryn?" He touched her chin, guiding her to meet his gaze, guessing what she was feeling. "Don't be embarrassed. Please don't. That was lovely and you were so beautiful." She smiled then, still pink cheeked. "I love you," she said softly.
"I love you too, Angel," he replied as he reached to touch the place that had just given her so much pleasure. His palm covered her. She sighed and shifted, giving him room to nudge the cloth aside. The scent of her wound around them as his finger slipped slowly inside. All traces of unease gone, she rocked against his hand, deliberately this time, until the sensations overtook her again. And this time it was Kathryn who lifted her head to give him a sleepy eyed, sensual smile.
She shifted in his embrace and her leg brushed against the swelling between his. Her hand trailed down his side and over his hip. She cupped him tenderly and his eyes closed as he drew in a hissing breath. She'd never touched him there before and she explored lovingly through his trunks. She stroked lightly and he gasped; a bit more firmly and he quivered.
"Kathryn! I can't Oh!"
She felt a warm moisture spreading beneath her palm. He began to pull away from her. He'd been a very young man the last time he'd lost control like that and he felt slightly foolish. Kathryn pulled him back.
"Don't be embarrassed," she said, echoing his words, "You were beautiful."
"I m also rather sticky," he said wryly.
"Me too."
He helped her up and steadied her as she stepped out of her bathing suit. She was slightly amazed with herself. Not a single scrap of self-consciousness. She smiled up at him expectantly.
"Aren't you joining me in the water?"
"Damn things need rinsing out," he grumbled, gesturing to his own suit. Kathryn laughed, catching his hand and leading him into the lake.
Harry Kim stepped up to the holodeck door, rock-climbing gear in hand. He was slightly surprised when the door refused to open.
"Computer, is the holodeck in use?"
"Affirmative," came the hollow voice. "The privacy lock has been engaged."
He was about to signal the occupants that their time was up, but maybe he ought to check first "Who's using the holodeck?" he asked.
"Captain Kathryn Janeway and Commander Chakotay."
Harry grinned and tapped his communicator. "Kim to Paris"
"Yeah, buddy. What's up?" Came the disembodied voice of his friend.
"I m not really in the mood for rock climbing. Would you mind if we shot some pool instead?"
"No, that's fine. I'll see you there."
"Thanks, Tom. Kim out."
Harry gave the computer a few instructions and went to change clothes before meeting Tom.
Chakotay tossed his trunks up on the bank.
"Much better," Kathryn said, stepping into his arms in the sun warmed water. "Now kiss me before I expire from deprivation."
They kissed and caressed each other until they were both breathless. His thigh found its way between hers again and his hand at the small of her back helped her keep her balance as she moved against it unhesitatingly. She sighed with pleasure and sought to return it, grasping his hardness and stroking. Soon she was writhing in his arms as she peaked. Even at the height, she had not released him, but now he stilled in her hand. She looked up at him, a little confused.
"If I don't stop we re going to have the same problem we had before," he told her.
She rested her head against his shoulder and resumed the rhythm of her hand.
"It's not a problem, Chakotay," she said gently. "Let it go."
Oh, but he loved this woman! He held her tightly and let her work her magic giving himself over to her tenderness.
Later, back on the blanket and back in their clothes, Chakotay sat behind Kathryn brushing the tangles out of her damp hair.
"Your fulfilling a fantasy of mine, you know," he said.
"Only one?" she asked, mischief in her voice.
"Oh, we've made several wishes come true today, but I've always had a fascination with your hair. I wanted to take it down and run my fingers through it from the day I met you."
"You're not very difficult to please," she commented
"Yes I am. I waited all my life for you." He held her hair out of the way and pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck.
"Mmm. I love that."
"So do I." He paused. "How long did you reserve the holodeck for? We've been here quite a while."
"You're right!" she exclaimed, frowning. "Computer, when is the time up?"
"There is one hour and three minutes remaining."
"And how long have we been here?" Chakotay asked.
"Four hours and fifty seven minutes."
They stared at each other.
"I reserved a two hour block!" she cried.
"Computer, was someone scheduled at 1600 hours?" he questioned.
"Captain Kathryn Janeway is listed at 1600 hours."
"Was the reservation changed?"
"Affirmative."
"Who originally held the reservation?"
"Ensign Harry Kim had the 1600 reservation."
"And it's 1900 now," he said to Kathryn.
"Computer," Kathryn continued where Chakotay had left off, "Did Ensign Kim also reserve 1800 to 2000 in my name?"
"Negative."
"Is there a reservation for that time period?"
"Affirmative."
"And who holds that reservation?"
"Commander Chakotay has reserved the holodeck from 1800 to 2000 hours."
She gaped at her companion. "Did you "
"Not me!"
"I don't know whether to bust Harry to waste disposal technician or make him the officer in charge of covert operations!" Kathryn muttered, chagrined.
Chakotay leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. "You're adorable when you're perplexed. Now lets go have some dinner before Neelix stops serving."
"I think his cooking abilities are improving." Chakotay commented as they approached Kathryn's door.
"Have you noticed that he sort of cycles that way?"
"Yes. He gets better for a while and then he starts looking for new ways to prepare leola root," he laughed.
"We re here," she said softly as they stopped in front of her quarters. "Today was wonderful, Chakotay." She looked up at him, blue eyes alight.
He smoothed her hair for the dozenth time since their day began, his hand lingering at her cheek. "*You re* wonderful," he told her, bending to kiss her. "Sleep well, Kathryn."
Harry returned to his quarters to find the message light on his computer terminal flashing. He'd just left Tom and B'Elanna, so what was this about? He wasn't social enough to get very many personal messages.
He brought it up on the screen and sat down hard in the desk chair. It was only one line:
Kathryn
He'd been hoping she and Chakotay wouldn't have bothered to check, much less notice. She obviously wasn't angry, but what about the Commander? There were going to be a few tense moments on the bridge tomorrow morning, Still, the Captain's note made it worth while. Harry smiled as he switched the screen off.
Lieutenant Torres walked in to Engineering that morning wearing an uncharacteristically dreamy smile.
"Musta got a little from Paris last night," joked one engineer to another.
B'Elanna overheard, but it wasn't worth calling them on. They d expire of surprise if they knew she'd spent the last hour having breakfast with the captain while they traded "boyfriend" stories.
The lift door opened to allow Chakotay to enter the bridge and Harry, already at his station nearly jumped out of his skin again.
"What's with you, Harry?" Tom asked as quietly as possible.
Chakotay smiled to himself. He hadn't realized Harry would be worried about his slight but well-intentioned meddling. Time to put the poor kid out of his misery.
Passing behind his chair, Chakotay clapped the younger man on the shoulder.
" Morning, Harry."
Kathryn lay back in the tub sinking into the mounds of bubbles with a contented sigh. She felt better than she had in a long time. She was awfully glad she'd listened to Chakotay rather than continuing to isolate herself. B'Elanna was very good company and had an unexpectedly warm, loving side. She was enjoying their fledgling friendship enormously. Smart man, Chakotay.
She let her mind wander over the months that had passed since the first sweet kiss that marked the change in their relationship. First kiss, first intimate touch of his hand on her breast, first release both hers and his. The only thing they d yet to share was the actual physical union. She was well aware of the reason behind it.
Here in the Delta Quadrant there was no way for the two of them to have a "legal" marriage. There was no higher-ranking officer to perform a ceremony on board Voyager than her captain. They could always use a holodeck program or a joining ritual from any of the cultures they d encountered in their travels. In fact, it was probably a good idea for all the obvious reasons. Still, it was a certainty that none of these options would be recognized as valid by either Starfleet or the Federation in the event that they were ever to return to their home.
For Kathryn and Chakotay, the true commitment was represented by taking this final step: an act of marriage that could not be undone. She loved him, heart and soul, faults and all and she knew he loved her the same way: unconditionally. The possible consequences had become insignificant in the light of that love.
He would be here for dinner soon. She'd wear that pink sweater he liked so much and she'd leave her hair down: little ways to show him she loved him.
Kathryn had gone out of her way to make this a special evening, he realized. Candle-light gilded her hair and set her delicate features aglow. He reached across the table to touch her hand, needing to confirm that this fairy creature was indeed real.
She smiled softly and laced her fingers through his. He was watching her as if he were memorizing her.
"Learning me by heart?" she asked, remembering a favorite childhood story.
"No," he replied. "You are my heart."
She stroked the back of his warm hand with her thumb and looked into his dark eyes.
"Stay with me tonight, Chakotay."
This was what he had been waiting for. It was not an impulse felt in a moment of passion, but rather a conscious decision made in love.
He nodded once, but as with all their other intimate encounters, there was no hurry. They cleared away the dishes together and took their coffee to the couch to drink while they snuggled up for a while. They sat in silence for a time enjoying the warmth and comfort they found only in each other until Kathryn asked, "Why do you call me Angel?"
"Because that's what you are," he said as he drew her closer and kissed her temple. "You're guardian and guide to all of us. Kathryn, the Deliverer who leads our journey home and the Avenging Angel who defends us against any threat." He shifted then so he could see her face before continuing. "And my own angel who holds my soul in her hands."
Tears glistened on Kathryn's short, thick lashes. He kissed them away and Kathryn touched her fingers to his lips in wonder. He gently captured the tip of one between his teeth, laving it with his tongue and sucking lightly. Her head fell back as the sensations flew through her body making her want him with an intensity she'd never felt before.
Chakotay rose and lifted her in one smooth motion, carrying her to her bedroom. He set her on the bed and lay down beside her leaving his shoes on the floor. She turned into his embrace winding her own arms around him. His trembling fingers began to undo those tiny pearl buttons one by one slowly revealing her softness to him. When he was finished she shrugged the sweater away and lifted her hips to allow him to remove the rest of her garments. He'd seen her uncovered breasts before. He'd already known how beautiful her body was. Perhaps it was the knowledge that soon they would be truly one that made it all new again, like pair of virgins innocent in their loving discovery of each other. Suddenly his clothes seemed unbearably restrictive, but with knowledge born of her tender longing for him she was already easing the fastenings open freeing him to love her.
With his hands and his mouth he adored her, hands stroking everywhere on a slow, sweet journey, mouth following in their wake. Kathryn accepted all he gave with small gasps and low cries of joy and for each of his caresses, she returned one of her own until they were both nearly frantic with need.
Chakotay sat up to look at her again, lovely in her ecstatic abandon. Her long legs shifted restlessly and he soothed them, parted them gently. She opened to him as he bent to press the most intimate of kisses to her most feminine place. She arched into his touch as his fingers joined his tongue in giving her pleasure. He knew well what she liked. Giving it to her fulfilled them both.
Blindly her hands searched for his body, needing an anchor to reality. She found his strong thigh just above the knee and followed it upward until his length filled her palm, hot and firm. She knew how he wanted, needed to be touched and she gave without reservation. Anything for him. A trust between them.
"Oh, Kathryn!"
"Chakotay!"
Twin exclamations. They could endure no more separately. He moved above her. She reached to guide him. Both of them trembling, they became part of each other.
Chakotay looked down at Kathryn as he eased inside. She was biting her lip.
"I m hurting you," he realized. "Oh Angel, I m sor "
She placed a finger across his lips to quiet him and smiled. "No, I'll be fine in a minute," she reassured him. "It's just been so long."
Carefully, he rolled them until they were on their sides facing each other taking some of the pressure off her and giving her more control. One of his hands supported her head. The other roamed her body, first cradling the sweet weight of a breast and brushing the tightened peak then moving lower to caress the place where they were joined, helping her relax and easing the way for her. It wasn't long before the stinging sensation eased to be replaced by the pleasurable need for more. She moved her leg over his hip, pulling herself closer, him deeper. He claimed her mouth thrusting gently with his tongue, mimicking the movements of his lower body. Kathryn rocked in perfect counterpoint to him feeling the tightening spiral of feelings, both physical and emotional. He whispered love words to her, sounds meant only for her to understand. When the final wave overwhelmed them they cried out, each calling the other's name and clinging tightly to each other. Kissing softly. Wiping away joyful tears. Falling asleep in each other's arms, still entwined. Loving. Simply loving.
He kissed her awake and made love to her again before he had to leave to get ready for his shift.
"I ll see you on the bridge, Angel," he said as the door opened for him. Kathryn only smiled.
Chakotay stepped into the corridor and started for his quarters. He'd only taken a step or two, his mind still on the events of the last few hours, when he ran headlong into someone coming from the other direction.
"Excuse me! I wasn't watching where I was ," he trailed off, chagrined. It was Tom Paris. Of all the people to literally run into the first time he didn't spend the night in his own cabin!
He braced himself mentally for the smug attitude and smart alec remark he was certain were forthcoming, but Tom wasn't playing the game. His eyes were twinkling, but it was with honest pleasure and no small amount of affection.
"I was going to drop this report off with the captain," Tom said indicating the PADD he held, "but it can wait. Be good to her, Chakotay." The younger man turned to go, but Chakotay's hand on his shoulder stopped him.
"I will." It was a promise, not just to Paris, but to Kathryn as well. "Thanks, Tom."
"No problem. See you later." And he was gone, leaving Chakotay standing in the hall shaking his head in surprise.
Kathryn, still in her robe, sat watching the stars go by as she had only a few short months ago, but the lonely despair had been replaced with a deep, sweet peace she'd never thought she'd find again. Somehow, the same sixty four years ahead that had seemed to be a solitary eternity were now only the beginning of a happy life with good friends and a wonderful, exceptional man who loved her. She stretched and smiled to herself, enjoying the pleasant aches she hadn't felt in so long. She was starving, too. Maybe B'Elanna had time for breakfast.
Send feedback c/o gouldie@geocities.com